Headlamps and the B-word

I am drowning in a viscous cycle of homeschool, basketball, and attempting to keep up with my own online college classes.

Drowning, people.  Drowning.

Plus, I feed the animals now. True, the feeding of the animals takes a mere 15 to 20 minutes, depending on my arm strength and will to get things done, but that is not the point.

The point it this:  I am complaining.

Allow me to share you with two humorous tales that have happened as of late.

Hold on to your pants, folks.  This is going to be thrilling.

Tale #1:

I was helping Handsome Dude sound out cvc words the other day, as I am wont to do.

Yes.  That’s right.  I said “cvc,” like it ain’t no thang.  I am simply trying to impress you and make you all think I have some sort of business homeschooling my children.

CVC stands for consonant/vowel/consonant.  CVC words are the first words kids learn to read, for they are simple.  Words like CAT, HAT, PAM, TAN, and JAM.

These are the only words Handsome Dude can attempt to read at this point in time.  You throw in a word with more than three letters . . . consider his world rocked.

So.  He was doing his thing, and doing a mighty find job at it, I might add, the Mr. Kindergartener that he clearly is.

HD:  C-A-T.  CAT!

Me:  Yes!

HD:  Y-A-K.  YAK!

Me:  Yes!

HD:  B-U-T . . . .nope!  Not reading that one.  It is a privacy word.

Ha!

A privacy word.  These are things that humor me now.  I suppose that’s what happens when you are old and homeschool.

I had to explain to the boy that there are two different “but” words, but he would hear none of it.

He stood his moral ground.  And probably said “but” 18 times in his own defense.

“BUT, Mom!  I can’t say that word!  It is for privacy!”

He is astute.

Tale #2:

As a mother of boys, I have realized no good can come out of both boys being in a bathroom together.

True Story:  They once tried to cross streams.  If you know what I mean.  And I think you do.

So, I walked by the bathroom and heard the two of them in there.

Me:  (knock, knock)  Who is in this bathroom?

*silence*

Me:  Answer me now.

HD:  Oh, sorry!  I couldn’t hear you!  I am in here!

LD:  Me, too!

Me:  Nope.  One of you out.

The door is unlocked and opened and I see Little Dude on the, *ahem*, throne, and Handsome Dude standing nearby, donning his father’s headlamp.

Because, as we all know, when the little brother is doing a number two, it helps if his older brother is standing nearby to offer moral support and extra light.

Me to Handsome Dude:  You cannot be in here.

HD (looking like I ruined his entire life.  And I probably did):  Ok.

LD to HD:  It’s ok!  You go in mom’s bathroom and we can still talk!

HD:  OK!

Now, reader.  There are two bathrooms on the main floor and they do share a common wall.  It took me awhile to put the house plans together in my head, but it is true.  There is one wall shared by the two bathrooms.  And my boys figured this out long before I ever would.  Its probably because they are homeschooled.  I hear homeschooled kids can be quite bright.

Handsome Dude heads to the bathroom, still donning the head lamp.

This is the convo the two lads shared together through the wall  on that winter’s day:

LD (shouting):  ARE YOU IN?

HD (shouting):  YES!

LD:  WHAT DO YOU SEE?

HD:  I SEE DAD’S HUNTING MAZ-A-GEEN.

LD:  WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

HD:  I AM GOING TO THE BAF-ROOM!

LD:  OK, GOOD!  ARE YOU SITTING OR STANDING?

HD (stopping to think for a moment.  It was, after all, a tricky question): I AM SITTING!

LD:  OK, YOU ARE POOPING!  ME, TOO!

HD:  COOL!

***

My boys.  They keep things spicy around here.

Happy Wednesday!