Pigs and the Weather

Oh, yes.  We are going to talk about the weather.  And swine.  Because, apparently, I am a senior citizen now.

The weather.  Does anyone else have crazy weather?  Yesterday, we woke up to cloudy, gray skies.  I remember it distinctly because when Sweet Pea woke up yesterday, she joined me on the couch and said,

“Looks like it is going o be a beautiful day, Mom!”

I looked out the window and decided she was out of her mind.  Not wanting to crush her spirit, I agreed with her.

Shockingly, it soon decided to rain.

We did our school work, and had a fantastic time doing so, I might add.  We came upstairs for lunch and saw gorgeous blue skies and sunshine.  Naturally, the kids whooped and hollered and went outside to play.

Soon after, Daisy Mae comes inside.

DM:  Mom, can I put on shorts?

Me: No.

DM (looking like I crushed her entire will to live):  PLEASE?

Me:  No.

DM:  But I am dying of heat!  DYING!

Me:  It is 40 degrees.  You are not dying of heat.

After the kids played for a bit, it was time to come back inside and resume our favorite pastime:  school.

Yes!  School!  Apparently, we can’t get enough of it.

After school, it was time for yours truly to feed the animals.  Handsome Dude was going to join me, as he is fond of gathering the eggs.  As soon as we stepped outside, we heard the most ferocious thunder.

Handsome Dude threw the egg carrier in the air and dove back in the house.

For the next hour or so, there was massive thunder, hail, and rain.

It cleared up and I went out again to feed the animals.  We went to town and on the drive home, I encountered big, fat, fluffy snowflakes.

So, there you go.  In my neck of the woods, you can have kids dying of heat AND snowflakes all in the same day.

***

The pigs.

I know you love it when I update you all on the goings-on of the swine.  I have had some questions lately regarding the delightful creatures, so I thought we should have an update.

Yes!  A pig update!  This is my life now.  Be jealous.

Back in October, David brought home seven pigs.

Because seven is not excessive at all.

pigs

This is, of course, our first time raising pigs, so we things have not gone exactly as planned.

Imagine that!

David’s plan was to put the pigs in the garden, raise them, butcher them mid-January, and then plant our garden in May.

Why the garden?  Because it is fenced and he figured the pigs would, ahem, fertilize it.

Well, January came and went and the pigs were not fat enough.  About two weeks ago, two pigs were ready and David “took care of them.”

“Took care of them” is my discreet way to break the news to you that he slaughtered them.

The astute reader might recall that the original plan was for me to drive the “taken care of” pigs to the butcher in my minivan.  I am happy to report that my husband saw the look of panic in my eyes and made other plans to take them in himself.

See?  After nearly 13 years of marriage, the romance is not dead.  Nothing says “I love you” like your husband removing the burden of you having to haul slaughtered pig bodies to the butcher in your minivan containing four children.

We have five pigs left.  Three are going to get “taken care of ” this weekend and I am playing no role in it whatsoever.

The two pigs that are left are small.  We don’t know why.  They are going to need at least another month to fatten up.

Hold on to your pants, readers!  This is where things get spicy!

David figures that since we have to take care of these two pigs for at least another month, why not add three more to the mix?

Well, of course!  Why not?

So, on Saturday, David is going to get three more pigs that he found for a “smokin’ deal” on the Craigslist.

But, wait!  There’s more!

Turns out you should not use pig manure for your garden!  It’s like super bad.  So I called our extension office and the gal was aghast, yes, aghast that we would even consider using pig manure around edible plants.

Our garden needs a year to recover before we can plant anything in it.

Epic gardening fail.

My husband was quite forlorn about this news.  I, yes, I, Teller Maiblahblah, came up with the perfect solution, because I am awesome.  We are going to move the rabbits and have our garden where the rabbits live for this year.  We must have a fence around our garden, you see, lest the deer eat the fruits of our labor.

 Untitled

And for those of you who saw my last post, there were three deer in he above picture.

Cheers!

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10 Responses to Pigs and the Weather

  1. JoAnn says:

    My father is a farmer, and he is converting the pig pen that housed my pigs in high school into a…bean crop. I guess string beans and such like the acidic (?) soil of pigs. But the last time a pig lived there was over 10 years ago. Let us pray it doesn’t take that long for your soil to recover. And also I hope you like beans.

  2. Deb says:

    You are going to have a ton of weed from the hens if you put your garden there. 🙁

  3. Deb says:

    It’s like Little House on the Prairie up there.

    So, what’s the verdict on the bacon? Yes, you will partake? Or no, because that was Chauncy?

    (Chauncy being the best name for a pig ever. Obv.)

  4. Joyce says:

    You’re not going to post photos of pickled pigs feet in jars now are you? Just say no.

    Your simple life in the country is hilariously complicated. When will ‘Tales of a Lumberjack’s Wife’ be coming out in hardback? I’m always happy to see your name in my reader…have a nice weekend!

  5. Kendra says:

    So glad you don’t have to transport pig carcasses.

  6. naomig says:

    I love homegrown meat. That being said, that is A TON of pork.

    Bacon… yum yum yum.

  7. Missy says:

    I find it encouraging that the romance is not dead and that there were no pickled pig’s feet to be shown. Also, we’ve had a few of those crazy weather days of our own up here in New England lately. Shorts in the morning? Nay, I say. For by afternoon, you’ll need long-johns and 4 more layers. Sigh… We really are senior citizens, aren’t we.

  8. B says:

    What , pray tell, does David plan on doing with all this pig meat?
    What are you doing with your tens of thousands of eggs you are gathering?
    Does he think you have nothing else to do all day?
    You need a pig tight fence and that is not the easiest thing to do.
    Livestock wrangling takes up precious ‘school’ time. Although, I guess
    the children are learning how hard country life is. 🙂
    You may be responsible if the ‘only’ traveler on your rural road
    hits said pig and demolishes their car and or loses their life.
    I am trying to help you win the argument (which I see there is none of
    on your part) for limiting livestock. 🙂
    Although, if you didn’t have said livestock you would be living a dull
    life…..NOT.

  9. Christina says:

    I just wanted to tell you that I am so very glad that you did not have to haul pig carcasses to any place in your minivan. Just. So. Glad. 🙂

  10. Marla says:

    That is a ton of bacon!

    I’m jealous- Colby won’t let me get a pig!

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