The girls had a friend stay over last night. She has been friends with Sweet Pea and Daisy Mae since Kindergarten. Their friend is an only child, and sometimes I wonder what she thinks of our hectic household.
The girls had a basketball game this morning. We needed to leave at 8:15am. Did we leave at 8:15am?
Nay. Nay, we did not.
Here’s the series of unfortunate events:
1. David and I woke up first. We require a couple of gallons each of coffee before we can function. This process takes awhile.
2. David and I took our showers and then proceeded to wake the five children. The time is about 7:15am. We inform them all of the planned departure time and advise them to get their hineys in gear.
3. The boys come and and fix themselves cereal. Cereal and milk are all over the place. But that is neither here nor there.
4. At our house, only one person can be in the shower at a time. We are modern like that. The girls take their sweet time showering and putting their hair in fancy braids.
5. Because everyone knows we all have time for fancy braids.
6. While the boys are waiting for the shower, I instruct them to go clean their room and make their beds. I also ask them to please pick out clothes and get upstairs for a shower soon.
7. I check on them 15 minutes later. Their room is a disaster and they are playing DS on the top bunk.
8. Yes. My children obey me. Envy my parenting skills. Go ahead. Ask me any parenting question. I shall advise you.
9. I put on my “Mean Mom” pants and STRONGLY ENCOURAGE them to clean their rooms and make their beds.
10. The girls are still doing their hair.
11. I check on the boys 10 minutes later. They have spent the entire time trying to fix a truck.
12. I pick out their clothes and place them in the shower.
13. I lay out each of their outfits on my bed. I tell them to get dressed quickly. I remind them that a guest is here, so they need to remember their privacy.
14. The girls are still doing their hair.
15. David begins to load the wood stove. I don’t know how he does it, but he almost always manages to set off the smoke detector. The boys are mimicking the sound from behind my closed door. It adds a pleasant ambiance to our hectic morning.
16. The girls have finished their hair. They come upstairs. The time is 8:18am and they inform me that they have not had breakfast.
17. I start to make them toast to go.
18. The boys have ceased making fire alarm sounds and are now breathing murderous threats upon one another. Handsome Dude comes out of the room, looking all svelte and handsome. He has chosen to put on Little Dude’s clothes, so his pants are now capris. He looks extremely proud of himself, although he has not put on his glasses so his eyes are crossed. Little Dude, the child breathing the murderous threats, is naked and chasing his brother out of the room screaming that Handsome Dude “stole his underwears.”
19. Yes, I meant to say “underwearS.”
20. Little Dude remembers that we have a guest. He takes his hand and covers an itty bitty portion of his front privacy region. If you get my drift. And I think you do.
21. Poor sleepover friend is trying to eat her toast while watching her friends’ brothers fight over underwears.
22. I send the boys back to the room and instruct Handsome Dude to give Little Dude his clothes back.
23. The girls have finished their toast. It is now 8:30.
24. Little Dude, still naked, runs out of the room and back down to his room to find underwears.
25. I don’t know why.
26. We get in the car around 8:40. We are all quite impressed with our punctuality.
27. The girls’ team played great! Each girl got a basket and the team won!
And that is the end of our hectic morning.
You’re welcome.
***
Meanwhile, back at the ranch . . .
As I was folding laundry this afternoon, I noticed my husband out the window:
I don’t know what to do with him. Why does he feel the need to do such things?
Apparently, these trees just HAD to be trimmed. He is odd.
We are going on a date tonight! D-A-T-E. My parents get to deal with THE BOYS. Pray for them.
Also, all next week I am subbing in the 6th grade. Yikes! I am a bit nervous and I hope it goes well.
Happy Weekend!
Good luck , on all counts. 🙂
Have fun in 6th grade! I’m sure you’ll do great : )
I’m sure the braids enhanced their playing abilities. Totally worth the time it took.
A date night huh?? Nice! I hope you had fun. Good luck with 6th grade this week…make sure to tell us some of the stories you hear from those 6th graders 🙂
Yay for date night! Hair is really important. Maybe his man-cave is up there in that tree?? My hubs loves the basement where he whispers to wood and creates beautiful things.
1. Love
2. your
3. lists!
My husband HAS to get everywhere early… Incredibly early… I used to cringe when he’d rush me out of the house only to show up at our destination so early we would be stuck in the car for long periods of time. I can not tell you how often I’ve watched someone unlock our destination when they arrive LONG after us! I am on to his ways now and thanks to the miracle of google I can now find out how long it will actually take to drive to our destination and stall hoping to be a mere 15 minutes early! I think the day you just described would cause him to totally implode causing a black hole in your living room!