The Family Tree

This is what happens when you put your husband in charge of purchasing the wedding card for his brother’s upcoming nuptials.

Helpful.

We have just returned from our road trip to see the marriage of David’s brother, Alex.  Alex married his longtime gal pal, Holly, and it was a lovely ceremony.

Little Dude was the ring bearer, and he basically rocked it.

I was told to not tuck his shirt in.  But, in retrospect, I feel I should have been rebellious and tucked his shirt in.  But I digress.

Alex:  He is all ready to go.  I even gave him the rings.

Me:  You gave him the rings?  The REAL rings?

Alex:  Uh, yeah.  He is the ring bearer.

Me:  I have never heard of anyone giving the kid the REAL rings.  I think you are supposed to give the kiddo fake rings and give a groomsman the real ones.

Alex:  Huh.  Oh, well.

Me:  DO NOT TAKE YOUR EYES OFF OF HIM!  HE CAN’T EVER FIND HIS SHOES OR HIS UNDERWEAR OR HIS TOOTHBRUSH OR . . .

Alex:  It will be fine.

And it was.

After the wedding, Alex and Jason (David’s other brother . . . keep up!) were chatting.  And it was the most wonderful conversation I have ever heard.  I wish I had it on tape.

Jason:  So, are you still on Pinterest?

Alex:  Heck, yes!  I love it!  How do you think I got the idea for that arbor?

Oh-my-lands!  I love it.  David has to always act like he doesn’t hardly know what the Facebooks, Pinterest, Instagram, and THE INTERNET are.  And here my brothers-in-law are pinning things daily and even sharing pins amongst themselves.

Alex did build a stellar arbor for the wedding.  I am glad he found The Pinterest, but I think he could have done it without the help of the world wide web.  I married into a talented family.

After the wedding, Alex asked his brothers, and brother-in-law, Jack, to help him disassemble the arbor.

I feel the following picture illustrates the four men/boys well:

David and his brothers are always slightly pushing the boundaries, and Jack (standing reasonably on guard on the ground, ready to assist in any disaster) makes sure everyone stays alive.

We had ourselves a nice little family pic at the wedding.  Handsome Dude has taken after his father with the picture taking, so do not be alarmed in this picture if it looks like I am squeezing him to death.

I am squeezing him to death.  Friends, I no longer have patience for this, “I am too cool to look at a camera and be pleasant for a picture.”  I am 35 now and a bit

Friends, I no longer have patience for this, “I am too cool to look at a camera and be pleasant for a picture” attitude.   I am 35 now and a bit more sassy.

Little Dude is my hero. Could he be any cuter?  Not only is he smiling, but he is rocking the head-cocked-to-the-side and everything.

BAM!

He might not be able to get his underwear on in a timely fashion . . . ever . . . but he can take a picture, goshdarnit.

***

On the way home, we had a couple of fab family car ride conversations.

Convo #1

Daisy Mae:  Mom, why did Dad write, “There are no branches in this family tree” on Alex’s car?”

Me:  Because he thinks he is funny.

Sweet Pea (in her wisest eldest child voice):  Dad is saying that because Alex and Holly have been together forever, so it seems like she is already in our family.

David:  Nope.  It’s like me saying they are relatives who married.  But they are not.

Me:  Relatives can’t marry relatives.  You can’t marry your cousin.  Dad can’t marry his sister.  Dad is saying that Alex and Holly are related, but they are not.  He is lying because he thinks it is funny.

Little Dude:  Oh, I get it!  So Dad would have WANTED to marry his sister if she wasn’t already married?

David and I:  NO!

Little Dude: Oh, he couldn’t cause he was already married to Mom?

David and I:  NO!

Me (trying again):  Dad just thinks he is funny.  But he isn’t, really.  He is lying.  It is a joke, but it is not that funny.

Little Dude:  But do you want to marry your sister?

*sigh*

***

Convo #2

Little Dude: Mom! Do boy cows make milk?!
Me: No.
(I decide to put on my teacher-pants)
Me: All female mammals who have had babies make milk for their babies. So just mama mammals make milk.
LD: AND pigeons!
David: No! A pigeon is a bird. Birds don’t make milk.
LD: Nope. Pigeons can make milk. I just know it.
David and I: No.
****
I used the power of Google to make sure. Because my boy can be freakishly smart upon occasion.
Me: Shoot! He is right! Pigeons can make milk for their babies.
LD: Told ya!
He schooled us in animal facts and never even stopped playing his video game.

But seriously.  Did anyone else know that pigeons can make milk?

Mind blown.

***

Somebody who shall remain nameless, (ahem-David) left the water in the garden for the entire weekend that we were gone for the wedding.

This is bad news for us folks.  Bad, bad news.  Because this is what happens when we get to the bottom of the well:

I really wasn’t meant to be one of these pioneering-type women who don’t mind a little orange sludge in their water.

Let us all have a moment of silence and pray that the waters will run clear by tomorrow morning.

Because it is the girls first day of school.  And my first “official” day back to work.

And who in their right minds would brush their teeth with that water?

I would wash my hands of it  . . . but I can’t (har har).

Happy Sunday!