Taylor 2.0

Well.  We have lived out here for over 9 years, so I have decided to try and figure out how to enjoy this farm and ranchy life.  I have discovered that I do enjoy my bovine friends, so I am trying to embrace this new adventure we are on.

My contributions to the ranch are small, but they are contributions nonetheless.

Basically, I look at them and I name them.

I don’t wanna brag, but I am really good at coming up with clever cow names.  Like this handsome fellow on the right:

Dutch Bro.

Dutch Bro is one of our calves.  He was a bull calf.  Now he is a STEER.  I know this because I had to help hold him down while David made him a STEER.  If you know what I mean.

Dutch Bro is not the smallest calf, but he might be the smartest.  He is the only calf (out of seven) who knows how to sneak in and out of the fence.  He is quite crafty.  While all the other cows are battling for the same grass, Dutch Bro sneaks out to the front yard and eats all the grass he wants.  Many well meaning neighbors have texted/called/and popped by to let us know “Goodness!  One of your cows is out!”  And we say”Oh!  Is it a smaller, light brown one?”  And they confirm and we say thanks and we do nothing because he always comes back.

One of our ranching type friends needed to borrow a calf from us to drink off of a milk cow who was at his place to be bred.

Did you follow that?  Yes.  This is my life now.

So, David asked me if I would like to help him.  And yes, I did want to help.  Because this is Taylor 2.0.  The Taylor who will be a cattle rancher.

So I “helped” him wrangle Hershey, the chosen one.  And I “helped” him hold Hershey down so he could castrate him.  And let us discuss the castration.  It is horrid.  And quick.  And David just tosses the little testicles off into the sunset and then goes about his day.  And the calf stands up and walks away with a little blood dribbling about.  And I am present.

Taylor 2.0.

So, we load the calf into the trailer and take him on his field trip.

While we are there, David offers to help our friend castrate his bull calf.  Because apparently this is what we do.  We are a husband/wife castration dream team.

This bull calf was MUCH bigger than Hershey and he was 100% not interested in losing his manhood that day.  It turned into a full on rodeo.  He broke through fences and knocked over gates.  Finally, our friend had to get on his horse and lasso him up like a true cowboy.

The calf lost his courageous battle, along with his manhood.

***

We got snow last weekend.

Also, we let the boys have four friends over.  At the same time.  With our two boys.  In retrospect, this was perhaps a foolish decision that involved a LOT of food and a crazy amount of unclaimed underwear and socks laying about our house.

The boys had a blast.  All SIX of them.  They ate.  They played “Capture the Flag” in the dark.  They fell on our precious dog and caused her to limp for a few days during Capture the Flag.

Look at her!

Poor pumpkin.  She could not even sit normally.

The boys also played Capture the Flag in the snow.  And they ate.  And they played some game called “Camo” that involved a four wheeler, trailer, and a ton of mud.  And they ate.

Meanwhile, the girls had to help David with farm chores since the boys were busy socializing.

Sweet Pea may have gotten the truck stuck in the mud during her day of helping Dad.

She was not living her best life.

The boys, however, were.

This was right before they came inside to EAT.  All six of them came in covered in mud.  Because the snow did not stick and everything turned to mud.  On the weekend of six boys.

As the boys all thundered in, literal chunks of mud were falling off of them.  They swarmed into the kitchen and began to open all kitchen drawers and clean mud off themselves with kitchen towels and potholders.

Yes.  Potholders.

?

Then they ate.  Then they were trying to decide if they wanted to hang out inside or go out and play “Camo” again.

I told them they wanted to play “Camo.”  I have no idea if the game was safe or reasonable.  But I did know that I needed them and their mud dropping OUT.

Taylor 2.0.

***

Speaking of hungry boys, this is how dinner with Little Dude went last night.

(Lest you think I am amazing, all food items you are about to hear about were leftovers)

I set a plate of macaroni and cheese and a banana in front of him.

“Mom, I’m gonna need more.”

So I give him two sausage patties.

“Yeah.  I am still hungry.  Can I have chicken nuggets?”

Well, I don’t want to bake them.  But he informs me they can be microwaved, as he is shoveling sausage into his mouth.

“Three minutes to cook and two minutes to cool, Mom.  And I usually eat 20.”

I make him 10.

“Yeah.  I am going to need more food, Mom.  I don’t think you understand how starving I am.”

So I gave him two pancakes and two more sausage patties.  And I really don’t think I understand how starving he is.

Happy Wednesday!