The Return of Norma Jean Riley

We have two cats here on our property.  One is Mama Kitty and the other is Norma Jean Riley.  For all my life, I wanted to name an animal Norma Jean Riley, and I finally remembered!  I decided to keep one of Mama’s kittens two years ago and that’s the name I gave her.  She is so cute and didn’t get very big.  She almost still looks like a kitten.  Well, she went missing for a couple of months-as cats are wont to do.  And it was a bummer, but we got over it, because, farm life.

Well, she came back!  Out of nowhere!  I have asked her repeatedly about her whereabouts, but she will tell me none of it.  She has very much welcomed herself back into the family.  She has made herself an indoor cat and enjoys sleeping ON OUR BED.

Gasp.

She only sleeps at the foot of the bed.  I don’t think David knows yet.  He would probably throw her like a football off into the sunset.  She even chooses his side.  I like her.

Speaking of footballs.

Yesterday, for reasons unbeknownst to all parties involved, Handsome Dude walked in the front door and THREW A FOOTBALL AT THE LIVING ROOM WINDOW.  And broke it.

For shame!

Me:  WHY DID YOU DO THAT?!?

HD (Shocked):  I have no idea.

Me:  WHAT DO I TELL YOU ALL THE TIME ABOUT BALLS?

HD:  No balls in the house.

He felt badly.  He will pay for a new one.  He knows this.  We know this.  David had not yet gotten home yet when it happened.  HD grabbed a tape measure and took measurements and then started Googling window prices.

“Mom, do you think you will buy a new or used window?”

*sigh*

Boys.

***

Daisy Mae just went to Homecoming.  She is a sophomore.  She is actually wearing the same dress her sister wore this year.  For some reason, I have zero pictures of Sweet Pea in the same dress.

Daisy Mae is rocking it in school this year.  She is taking three honors classes and has straight A’s.  Plus, she is working as a receptionist!

What a gal!

***

HD and I babysat my super cute niece and nephew last weekend.  HD will make an amazing babysitter some day.  He was on it!

We took a walk, pet some cows, discussed how much cow poop was on our property, saw horses, checked out the pigs, talked about poop, saw some chickens, observed the dogs, mentioned the poop, counted the piglets,  made our own playdough, HD made everyone homemade cookies, we discussed poop, HD taught them how to play basketball, we played toys, watched David unload hay with his BOBCAT, and asked David if he was aware of how much POOP was on the property.

My niece pet a cow named Babs.

At dinner, David (who thinks he is HILARIOUS) asked our niece if she knew what animal she was eating at dinner.

Now, why must we do this?  I do not know.  Traumatizing.  (Probably more so for me)

Niece:  Um, is it pork?

David:  Nope.  It is beef.  It is cow.  Just like the cow you visited today.

Niece:  Oh!  Am I eating Babs?

David:  No.  Babs is still alive.  This cow is dead.

Niece:  Oh!  Is it called pork?

David:  No.  Pork is from a pig.  This dinner is from a cow.

Niece:  Oh!  Am I eating Babs?

And so on.

***

Let us talk about laundry.  For it is my life.

Awhile back, I conned David into allowing me to purchase a new washer and dryer.  This was against everything he believed in because we went to Lowe’s and not Barry’s place from Craigslist.

But I WANTED this particular set.  It is so big and holds so much and it has a tray for OXICLEAN.

We need to talk about Oxiclean and Spray n Wash.

My boys do everything in all their nice clothes.  I have tried multiple times to get them to wear “work clothes,” but in case you are new to this blog, the boys don’t exactly heed my instruction.

This new washer has a setting called “Sanitize with Oxi” and it makes all of my wildest dreams come true.

Sure.  It takes like an hour and half.  Which is ridiculous.  But steam literally rises out of the machine while it cleanses all the manure and muck out of the clothes.  Magic.

And I love it.

Also.  Don’t like to brag, but I am excellent at stain removal.  I know what’s up.

I spray with the Spray N Wash, and I wash with the Oxiclean, and everything comes out honkey dorey.

SP texted me from school the other day asking if she could bring home a stained sweatshirt for me to wash.  This sweatshirt did not belong to her.  It belonged to a boy she liked and was trying to impress.  And I would like you to all know something.

She used me.

She had me do the stain removal and then SHE TOOK THE CREDIT.

This is not cool.  What else do I have in life?  I ask you?  I am 38.  If I can’t brag about my stain removal skills, what is life?

***

Speaking of Sweet Pea.

Today, she called us in a panic.  She decided to eat in her car before work at a grocery store while charging her phone and killed her car battery.

?

Mom and Dad to the rescue.  Luckily, she was close to work and she was able to walk there.

David and I (husband and wife dream team) pulled up to the store.  David was getting all set to jump the battery when I started to ponder my daughter and her current teenager-ish mind.

I stuck the keys in the ignition and gave it a turn.  Just to see what would happen.

And it started.

So we took the car to her work.  I walked in to give her the keys and informed her that the car was not dead at all.

SP:  Like, actually?

(This is how she talks.  Mind you, she is quite bright and also successfully completing college classes as a high schooler)

Me:  Started right up.

SP:  That’s crazy!  I was sure it was dead because my phone was charging anymore.

Me:  Did you actually try the key in the ignition?

SP:  What do you mean?

*sigh*

Teenagers

***

HD:  Mom!  A girl asked me out!

Me:  What did you say?

HD:  I told her I cannot date yet!

Me:  Good boy!

HD:  Then she asked if I was allowed to date, would I choose to date HER?

Me:  And?

HD:  I just ran away.

Happy Wednesday!