The Weird Table at Lunch

Yesterday.

Me:  David.  Let us go have a cup of coffee in the hot tub and look at our cows.

David:  No.  I can’t.  I have stuff to do.

Grumpy.

So, I continue to clean up after ALL the people who live inside this house, and he and the boys went to work on the corral.  And, oh, yes!  Did I tell you?  He is building a ginormous corral.

The corral will be used for, but not limited to:  sorting cattle, vaccinating cattle, castrating cattle, and pregnancy checking cattle.

Things are getting real here, Friends.

Anyways.  David and the boys worked on the corral.  And then it started to rain.  So he came inside.

Me:  Oh, yay!  Are you going to hang out with me now?

David:  No.  I am going to get some work done with the Bobcat.

My life is full of nothing but disappointment, Friends.

So, he goes outside and works for a couple of hours around the property, picking up sticks on the property and moving them into piles in different locations on the property.  I am sure in his mind it is necessary and important work.

He uses the Bobcat for maybe 2 hours before it breaks down.  This is the story of David’s life.

Use Bobcat two hours.

Repair Bobcat four hours.

Repeat.

Me after he tries to repair the Bobcat for many hours:  See, David?  You should have just hung out with me.  It would have been better than breaking your Bobcat.

David:  But I took care of that widow maker for you.

Me (rolling my eyes):  Ok, Paul Bunyan.

FYI:  A widowmaker is a term lumberjacks use to describe a tree that looks dangerous and could fall down at a moment’s notice.

***

I would like you to all know that today, yes today, David Maliblahblah had a cup of coffee in the hot tub with me at 4:00 in the afternoon.

And now he is working on the Bobcat.  I kid you not.

***

Here is a cute picture of our oldest dog, Tank, and our youngest dog, Charlie.

They are together, seeking refuge from the vacuum.

***

The whole family is going into the pig business.

And we, yes all six of us, are willing participants.

David has found some amazing deal on Craigslist and we will all invest money and hope to turn a profit.

We had a family meeting about our new family venture Thursday night in the hot tub.

Hot tubs are great places for family  meetings.

We discussed the plan and how everyone will have specific roles to play in this exciting opportunity.

David will be the dealer of all customers via the phone and email.

The girls and I will be in charge of food, water and record keeping.

The boys will be in charge of touching any pigs.  Because the girls and I have made it clear that we will not, under any circumstances, pick up any  squealing weaner pigs by their back legs and load them into people’s trucks.

Boys:  We love lifting pigs by the legs and watching them squeal!

Me:  I will do such a good job at record keeping.  I will even buy a cute pig themed notebook to record all the important things people need to record when they are involved in a pig business.  I will buy this notebook with my own money and not use the company profits.

Boys:  I love when we have to pick up pigs and show people what they look like.  And the pigs are just squealing and squealing!

Hadley:  Alright.  I am out of here.  This is like sitting at the weird table at lunch.

And then, she left.

***

Last week:

I text David and tell him to please pick up the boys two Ducklings and call me on his way home.

Yes.  Ducklings.  Why not?  They just hatched thirty chicks.  What does it even matter anymore?

So, David calls me and I talk to him about all the things and the whole time his van is making this awful sound.

Me:  Dude.  What is up with your van?  Are you about to break down?

David:  Huh?

Me:  Can you not hear that noise?

David:  That would be the ducklings.

Happy Sunday!