Over It

Last night, as I was scrubbing pig poop off my Apple Watch at 9:45pm, I decided that I might be officially “over it.”

David called last night on his way home.  At the time I was on a walk to check the cows and he had many questions about the pigs, so I made my way over to them.

I observed the situation and told David what I saw.

Me:  Basically, we just have too many pigs.

And that about sums it up.

We have too many pigs.  200 was too many.  Who would have thought? Live and learn.

Now.  I am going to tell you about last night.  But there is something you must understand before I tell you about last night.  And that is this:

I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I AM DOING AND I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT IS GOING ON.

David arrives home around 7pm.  We look at the piglets and decide they definitely do not have enough room.

Because 200 was too many.

We have them living in the chicken coop area.  But we feel like some of the piglets are not getting access to food as much as the others and we need to remedy that situation.

Because 200 was too many.

So, David, HD, and I make a temporary shelter in our stock trailer.  We put hay down and were getting ready to transport them over.  And then David says we need to give the pigs a shot of antibiotics.

Why?  I do not know.  Do not ask me. I do not care.  I am not a pig farmer.

So we decide to give everyone the shot, load the pigs into the trailer as a way to sort them, and then move most of the pigs back to the chicken coop and have some of the pigs live in the stock trailer.

HD was helpful as can be, but would not stop talking.

The piglets were not helpful as can be.  They literally acted like they were being murdered anytime anyone touched them.  I really wanted to take video so you could hear the screaming, but I feared that would irritate my husband.  It is probably not a good idea to stop and use your phone when you are helping your husband sort 200 screaming piglets.  I just really need you to understand how chaotic two hours of 200 piglets screaming is.

HD:  Dad!  Dad!  Dad!  How about this?  How about you shoot the piglets and I will put them behind this divider in the stock trailer.

HD: Dad!  Let’s put all the shot ones there.

HD:  Dad!  Dad!  You are fast at shooting them!

Me:  Dude.  You are saying this all wrong.  We are not shooting the pigs.  Dad is giving them a shot.

HD:  Same thing.

Me:  Nope.

HD:  Dad!  Dad!  Dad!  Is it good that we have boys and girls?

HD:  Dad!  Dad! Dad!  Dad!  Here!  Shoot this one!

At first, my job was to hold the piglets while David SHOT THEM.  The piglets are small and it is not hard to hold them, but again, they act like the biggest drama queens you have ever seen in your entire life and they literally scream bloody murder.  It was hours of bloody murder screaming, people.  We don’t have “neighbors” in the regular sense.  But I was sure some of our “neighbors” might call the cops on us.  It was that bad.

And then.  David found one with an abscess.  And my job was to hold the piglet while David tried to drain the abscess.  This took some time.  There was a lot of screaming.  From the pig, not me.

At one point, I felt liquid pouring onto my boots.

HD:  Don’t worry, Mom!  The pus is not getting on you.  The piglet is just peeing.

Excellent.

And then, we found a piglet with a hernia.  And since David watches Dr. Pol, this is what we did:

I held the piglet and listened to it scream.

HD asked David 4.2 billion questions.

David pushed the hernia back in and put duct tape over it.

The pig shooting and sorting took a couple of hours.  I was feeling a bit fussy at the end because I had not yet been fed.  And Taylor doesn’t like to miss her meals.  Also, I still have a piglet living in a dog crate in my house.  And I just feel like it might all be too much for me.

Me:  David.  I think I have reached my limit.

David:  Why’s that?

For the love.

Also.  Remember how LD smelled like pig poop even after many showers?

I smell like pig poop.  And I guarantee you, I scrubbed.

***

Chicks are hatching.  I am trying to be a magical teacher about that, but I have a lot going on over here.

And I *might* be over it.

***

Oh!  I am also trying to homeschool the fab four.  So that’s going well.

***

A pig is literally grunting in my living room right now.  I can hear it.  I also hear chicks chirping.

***

Oh!  I thought the chickens didn’t ever go in the coop anymore.  I know.  You might say:

Taylor.  That is crazy talk.  Why wouldn’t chickens be in the CHICKEN COOP?

Well, Reader.  It is a long story that involves me not understanding and David redoing the chicken fence a couple of years ago to make room for more pigs and then the new fence not being high enough and the chickens making themselves free range because they could just fly over the fence and no one has time to care or fix the fence and the chickens are just everywhere.

But as I put SHOT piglets into the coop, I saw a few good hens!  And it pleased me to know  that some hens were still using their coop.

And now they must share the coop with a bunch of screaming piglets.  They are probably just as confused as I am.

***

Hadley is very concerned with our dog crate piglet.  She calls it her piglet and feels the need to love and name it.  Which is fine and wonderful and not at all overwhelming.

***

LD is always up to something.  Like in this photo.  I caught him trying to sneak the puppy into the hot tub with him.

So.  That’s an update on the goings-on over here.

Happy Thursday!