There Will Be No Merriment When There Is Work To Be Done.

Someone is coming to buy thirty pigs today.

THIRTY.

Yes!  We still have weaner pigs, blessed creatures that they are.  Mr. 30PigPurchaser is my new bff and maybe he will be so in love with my blessed creatures, he will buy all of them.

This weekend was devoted to that gosh darn rental house.  I am sore in muscles I did not even know I ever had.  On Saturday, David and the boys and I worked on it.  Yesterday was a whole family work day.

Let us discuss The Family Work Day.

First, we decided the night before we would leave by 8:30am.  But at 7am, David and I decided we would first like to give all pigs a round of antibiotics.  We were spoiled with Meagan and Jess helping us last time, so we foolishly thought this would be quick.  We were so way wrong.  It was just Kate, HD, David, and I, seeing as how we are the only PigVestors at this time.  Kate was willing to help, but half asleep.  She probably needed 8 cups of coffee.  HD was awake, but was in his Napoleon Dynamite Middle School Angst mood.

Gosh.

We got the pigs all taken care of, but we found a terribly sick pig under a pile of other pigs.  The pigs like to pile on top of each other, and when you have a multitude, it can be hard to spot one in distress.  Terribly sick pig was moved into the dog crate in the house, so I can care for it and pretend to know anything about animal husbandry.

Then we loaded everyone up and started for the rental at 9:45am. I noticed the moods of my work crew were less than satisfactory.  So I made David pull into Dutch Bros and bought everyone a coffee drink ON ME with the stipulation that if they continued their terrible attitudes they would owe me money for the drink.

Best $25 I ever spent.

We pulled a ten hour work day.  Everyone worked hard.  No one sneaked up to the roof to hide from their duties.  David is like a fart on a skillet.  Isn’t that the weirdest saying ever?  My mom always says it.  Anyways, a fart on a skillet he was.

Answering calls about work.

Answering calls about pigs.

Needing to run to Home Depot for this and that.

Needing to get gas for the pressure washer.

Needing to leave for two hours to help a farmer friend who got their swather stuck.  As if I know what a swather is.

Needing to set everyone up with their jobs and equipment.

Not me.  I worked the whole ten hours.  Go me.  I get like half as much work as David done, so that’s unfortunate.  But I do try!

David made the dudes electricians for the day and they had to switch out all the outlets and can lights.  In order to not electrocute themselves, the power had to be cut.  This made painting touch ups hard for the girls and I, as it is important to see what you are doing.  But we made the best of it.

Me:  David, my kids better not get electrocuted.

David:  If they do, they will learn their lesson.

What is with this tough guy attitude and my babies?  I ask you?

HD and Kate were both shocked.  And are fine.

Let us discuss painting.

When David and I are painting in the same room, he is like on hyper speed and I am on careful speed.  I get paint ALL OVER MYSELF.  I don’t know why or how, but I do.

I also talk the whole entire time.

Me:  Oh, I love it!  I love the white baseboards!  I love the white trim!  Oh, let’s live here!

Remember, Readers.  We bought this house in 2003 and rebuilt it from 2003-2010.  I got to pick everything out but never actually got to live their when it was finished and beautiful.  Sad, isn’t it?  It like torture to build your dream house and then not live there and then have to live far away with pigs and cows.

David doesn’t talk.  Unless someone calls about pigs.

The kids did great.  We are lucky to have four helpers such as them.  We are logging all of their hours and will pay them when we are finished.  The girls get like me and get silly when tired.  We all had wireless headphones in and were singing away and making merriment.  True, we were all on different songs, but I am sure it wasn’t annoying for the menfolk.  The boys are like David and don’t have time for merriment or even smiles.

There will be no merriment when there is work to be done.

Oh!  Here is something exciting!  We had pizza delivered for dinner!  We have never done that before, seeing as how we don’t live in an area where anyone would deliver anything.  It was exciting.  And delicious.

We left the rental at 8:30pm.  Is it done?

NOPE.

Headed there today in fact.

As we drove home, I remembered Terribly Sick Pig.  I took bets on who thought he/she would be alive.

Everyone voted dead except HD.  HD won!

But that meant I had to do my animal husbandry thing.

I told David I wanted to try a bottle.  So I did.

Please notice the paint all over my shirt and hands.  You should have seen my legs.

We bought a bottle nipple that fits over a water bottle.  I put some milk in it.  I think the pig is near death, honestly.  But I will try!  I got it to drink the milk.

Me:  David!

Poor David.  He just wanted to go to bed.

David:  What?

Me:  Problem.  I now love him or her because I have bonded with him or her and now I will be sad when he or she dies.

David:  Bummer.

It is a bummer.  Terribly Sick Pig is currently alive and I am going to feed it another bottle.

This will only end in heartbreak.