Calling . . . Anna PITE!

So, here’s something fun.

You may or may not remember that I enjoy listening to music with my wireless headphones and annoying my children, yes?  Well lately, I have been having technical difficulties.  Sometimes, I feel like the headphones are about to fall out, so I touch them to secure them back into my ear.  And for reasons unbeknownst to anyone, not even The Google, my headphones somehow communicate to my phone and start calling someone.  People I don’t even ever really call.

The first time it was my assistant principal.  I was just cleaning and merrily listening to my tunes when a lovely voice interrupted my song and said:

“Calling-Anna PITE.”

And mystery lady said PITE with much pomp and circumstance.

And that isn’t how you say or spell her last name, but that is how the magical lady chose to say it.  And I do not think it was SIRI because I turned her off moons ago.

So, I had to run to find my phone and cancel the call.

Then, about an hour later, it called my old home group leader.

The next day, Magical Voice Lady tried to FaceTime the mother of a student I taught in 2015.  And then it tried to call the dad of a student I had this year.

He called me back twice and I was too embarrassed to answer.  So, now I am scared of my wireless earbuds and I have sought help from my teens and no one knows how to help me.

The boys are away at camp.  They are coming home today.  And now I will never complain about how much they eat and how ridiculous they are because we sure do rely on them to do a lot of muscle-y things around here.

Let the records show:  They are missed.

Let the records also show:  I totally am going to complain about their food again soon.

Yesterday, I had to sell five pigs all by myself.  It is like a good old fashioned rodeo out there trying to catch those squealing creatures.  We have much less now, so it is harder to grab one.  David told me someone was probably coming today to buy two pigs, but he would let me know when they would be arriving.

So, around 7am, I decided to take advantage of my last quiet morning without the dudes, and leisurely enjoy a second cup of coffee while Rio was purring away on my chest.

At 7:06am, the dogs started barking something fierce.  I get up and look out the window and see a truck from Montana in the driveway.  And we don’t even live in Montana!

This is all sorts of awkward because I am currently in my pj’s and not wearing all appropriate under garments, if you know what I mean.  So, I throw on a sweatshirt and go and help Farmer Montana grab two pigs.  And what on earth time did he wake up to come and get his pigs to be at my house by 7:06am?  And do they not have pigs in Montana, I ask you?

He was merry and jolly and way too excited for these pigs.  They will have a happier life with him.

If the dudes were home, they would have taken care of it.  Oh, how I miss them.

I think David misses them, too.  Getting hay without them is proving to be a challenge, although Hadley has been stepping it up.  Hadley is most assuredly the strongest of our four children, she just has zero interest in farm and ranch life, which is why she isn’t usually assisting.

To add to the fun, when David came home from work yesterday, he looked like a P.O.W.

David:  I fell off a ladder at work today.

Me:  When?!

David:  Um, around 11am.

The time is now 6pm and I am just hearing about it.

Me:  Well, are you ok?

David:  I am pretty messed up.  My ankle is swollen, my wrist is really bad, and I think I cracked a rib.

Me:  Should we go to the doctor?

David (aghast):  Heck, no!

Me:  Would you like some Tylenol or ibuprofen?

David:  No!

This guy is terrified to take a Tylenol.  He says it will build up his body’s resistance.  Maybe he is right, I don’t know, but I do know that when I am feeling fussy, I take something to help ease the pain and make everyone’s life around me easier.

I really want to be there the day he finally takes a Tylenol.  His body is going to go into shock.

Could I get him to rest?  Of course not!  He was hobbling all around trying to feed animals and change a tire on the trailer because, and please sit down for this, he must get a load of hay tonight.

Poor boys.  They are going to get off the bus from camp and go straight to the field.  Not that anyone should feel badly for them.  They double love it and David lets them hit up the gas station and consume 5,000 worth of junk food calories.

Here’s a pic of them unloading hay last week before camp:

That is like one of 17 loads.

Today, I went to check on all my cow friends.  This was risky business because I was home alone, and you might recall I am old now and randomly fall.  So, I was out there, checking away, and I saw Elusive WITH A TAG.  Then I noticed her calf was right by me and she started running after me and mooing, which signaled all the other Mamas to moo and it was purely terrifying and I had to run for my life and I slipped on cow poop and almost went down but I didn’t.

Wouldn’t that have been just a horrible way to go?  Slipping on cow poop and then being trampled by the cow named Elusive with a Tag just because I was trying to make sure everyone was alive?

I didn’t die, so that is good news.

And has Miss America had her calf yet?  Of course not!

Alright!  Happy Friday!