The Money Piece

The other night, David’s mother calls him.  She is a nice woman.  We all love and cherish her.  She is not overbearing by any means, nor does she call too often.  She is a peach!

We give her two thumbs up!

Anyways, sometimes she chats a bit.  And David isn’t super chatty.  And would you like to know what he did?

I will tell you.

He put her on speaker phone and then looked at Craigslist’s Farm and Garden section while she prattled on.  Occasionally, he would say,

“Mmm-hmmm.”

“Oh, yeah?”

So, naturally, I started beating him with a pillow and mouth-yelled at him that he was being a rude son to his nice mother.  Because she is nice.

Hadley:  What’s the big deal, Mom?  Sometimes you talk too much and I get bored and look at Instagram.

For shame.

I suppose David’s shenanigans are an upgrade from the days of yore.  He went through a darling phase where he would just hand the phone to me and leave while his mother was in the middle of a story.  And when she would pause and wait for his obligatory, “mmm-hmmm,” I would have to sheepishly say,

“Oh, Hi!  It’s Taylor now.  David had to go.”

Which was not rude or awkward on our part AT ALL.

***

I feel like I did not get enough commendations and/or applause for my new arrow sign.  So, then I thought to myself,

“Taylor.  Maybe the people don’t fully understand the coolness of your new arrow sign?”

So, I am giving you another chance.

Look at my arrow sign:

Do you see how there is a cow hanging off of it?

I CAN CHANGE THAT.  IT DOESN’T ALWAYS HAVE TO BE A COW.  It could be a pig or a chicken.  Or not an animal at all, like a sign or maybe something that is Merry Christmas-y in nature.

Hadley:  Why is that there?

Me:  For decoration.

Hadley:  But, why?

Me:  Because I like it.

Hadley:  But why would you buy it?

***

I now think Miss America is a fine mother, one worthy of praise.  Sam is a darling.  Here he is tucked underneath her safely as she feasts.

Can we not all agree that he is precious?

***

Can we not all agree that we have no idea what school is going to look like this year?

***

Mama Kitty had kittens again.  And I had a couple hours of doubting her and her mothering.  Kind of like I doubted Miss America, which is strange because it’s not like I am over here winning any “Mothering Awards.”

I decided to try and find her yesterday morning, and I could not.  This is not extremely rare, as she is a cat and does what she wishes.  I went down to our storage room, where I keep the litter box and food and such, and as I was leaving, I heard a faint meowing.

!

I had to search high and low and even get out a ladder AND a flashlight.  And you would not believe how hard it is to locate a working flashlight WITH batteries in this house.  It is a disgrace, honestly.

So I found those kittens, who were unreachable.  And I left and panicked, because Mama was nowhere to be found.  I even called David.

Me:  David!  Did you watch the kitten video?

David:  Yup.

Me:  Are kittens falling down in there?  Are they stuck in the walls?  IS MAMA STUCK IN THE WALLS?

David:  Don’t think so.

So, we hang up, and I try not to panic, but I am panicking.  And do you know why I have to add a “K” to the end of panic when I am adding the -ing ending?  I do.  Because I teach foundational skills reading.  But that’s off topic.

So, I check again and not only are those kittens still in that high space, I find one tucked into insulation.  Like so:

And I saved it.  And I tried to find Mama, but I could not and there was like surround sound meowing all around me.  So I put the insulation kitten in a basket with a towel in the same room as the others, hoping Mama will return.

Me:  David!  I found another kitten!

David:  Good job.

Me:  It still has part of the umbilical cord attached.  And I am thinking I need you to stop by North 40 and look for kitten bottles and formula!

David:  Well, calm down.  Mama is probably still birthing.

Me:  Oh, right.

David:  How many litters of babies has she had?

Me:  Lots.  You are right she is a good Mama.

So, I try to chill and go about my day.  When out of nowhere, Mama just walks up to me and is like, “Oh, hello, I have had a busy morning and may I have some food and water?”

And I scooped her up and loved her and apologized for doubting her mothering skills.

Mama is like a Ninja cat.  Somehow she managed to get all of her kittens out of the storage room, upstairs to the main floor right past humans, 4 dogs, and 2 other cats, and sneak her litter under the couch in the loft.  And I have no idea how many she has, but I love her and I am so glad she is in charge and not I.

***

I got my hair done by Haircut Lisa today.  I decided to add color for the first time in many years.  Also, I would like to report/gloat that I still don’t have gray hair.

Anyways, she did a technique called “Balayage” and added some highlights around my face and told me they were called “The Money Piece.”

And she and I decided that someone like me definitely needs hair called “The Money Piece” to impress the kittens she is searching for.

I don’t have time to do anymore pictures!  I am supposed to be making dinner.

FOR MY FAMILY.

PS  Hadley just told me she thinks there are kittens stuck in the wall downstairs.

Super.