The Orange Zone

Like most mothers in America, I have been wondering:

What is going on with school this year?

It is my understanding that some schools have already started, which is coco-nuts.  We do not start until after Labor Day.

A couple of weeks ago, our district announced a color zone plan with four colors: green, yellow, orange, and red.

Yes, I am a teacher, but for the purposes of this post, please imagine me as a parent.  Which shouldn’t be hard, because I play one in real life.

Thank you.

Me:  Ok, David.  As long as we aren’t in orange, we should be A-OK with the boys.

David:  Sounds good.

Me:  We are in yellow now.  The boys and I will be at school/at home the same days as long as we are in green, yellow, and red.  But not orange!  Orange will be no bueno!

David:  Sounds good.

So, we were tootling along in yellow when out of nowhere, they switched us to start the year in orange.

!

Orange!  The one zone that does not work well for me.  You may ask, “Taylor, why is orange zone so bad?”  And I will tell you.

We live about 45 minutes from town.  If we are in orange, I will be at school in town teaching five days a week and the boys will only be in town two days a week.  The other three days they will be at home distance “learning.”

Also, for the purposes of this post, you will notice I am not concerned about the girls.  That is because I am not.  Which sounds harsh, but they are older and drive and are responsible and I don’t need to worry about them for the orange zone.  Which is good because the orange zone has brought me enough angst.

You have heard about my boys right?  Like, you are familiar with them?

Me to David:  Do you really think those two yahoos are going to be diligent with their online learning from home without a parent to oversee them?

David:  Probably not.

Me:  They will be watching TV and eating ice cream.  And meatballs.

David:  Probably.

So, now I must stress.  And when I stress, I eat unhealthy and my sleep is all messed up and my stomach hurts.  So that’s been going well for me the past few days.

Also new to our district is an upcoming eSchool.  Which sounds so hip and modern, don’t you think?

Me:  David!  I can teach with the eSchool and enroll the boys in eSchool and we will all be home!

David:  Sounds good.

Please understand that David is not as concerned about this as I am.  But he is concerned that our bull, Waylon, is not as manly as he had hoped, if you know what I mean, and I think you do.  Wink, wink. He is thinking of replacing him.  So that’s probably what he is thinking about while I am stress eating about THE ORANGE ZONE.

So then I have to stress about applying to the eSchool.  Because I love the school I work at and all my teacher friends and past students.  Also, I get all nervous about interviews AND what if I don’t get the job AND what if I do get the job and have to switch schools?

So, I interviewed.  It was over The Google Meets.  I sent this pic to my teacher gal pals when I was all done:

David:  Why would you dress up?

Me:  Because it was an interview?

David:  Huh.

?

So in the process of applying for the eSchool job, I became really excited about it and felt like it would be a fun new challenge.

And then, they announced the eTeachers of the eSchool would be meeting in a building and NOT working from home.

Which was the purpose of me applying.

So, as you can imagine, I began to stress eat again and forgo sleeping at night.

Because this school year is already one wild ride, I tell ya.

The eSchool will add 15 minutes each way to my drive, which is the last thing I need in life, but we have some options because it is very close to my parents’ house and there is also a private school nearby that we might put the boys in.  Because I feel like the boys are in need of a guardian of some sort?

I really don’t know.  I don’t know what I am doing.  I don’t know anything.

So after many calories, and zero sleep, I decided that I double love first grade.  So, if eSchool offers me first grade, I will take it, and if not, I will stay in my building and teach first grade.

But please let the records show:  I have no idea what the boys will be doing.  In any scenario.  Because I am a with-it Mother.

So, they offered me the job.  And I took it.

Well, dang.  It looks like I even got a stress zit above my lip.

So, now I will deal with what is best for the boys and start to pack up my classroom.  Also, David told me all my teacher friends will no longer be my friends, so that made me sad.  But I think they will still like me.

Watch.  After I did all this, they will move us back to yellow.  AND IT WILL ALL BE FOR NAUGHT.

I just can’t.

Anyways.  That’s that.

Oh, and David is surely thrilled because I moved Mama and her four kittens into the bathroom so I can visit and love them.

Yes.  I know her ear is messed up.  We have been through this already.  Remember?  I took her to the vet?  They wanted $600 to fix the ear?  And then they tried to tell me they had fixed her?  Does she look fixed?  She looks about as fixed as her ear looks fixed.

Mama Kitty.  She is such a good Mama.  Maybe she knows what I should do about this ORANGE ZONE debacle.