Commandeering Phones and Such

Yes, hello.  I was in bed by five pm last night, and here are today’s top stories.

1.  My brain.  My brain has melted into a puddle of Jell-O.  I mean, right now I am ok.  Because it is 4:30am and I am drinking coffee.  But in 12 hours:  J-E-L-L-O.
2. Let us discuss Monday morning, shall we?  Allow me to set the scene:

Four nervous 1st grade teachers are sitting in a room.  Wearing headsets because they could not be more professional.  We are getting ready to go live for the first time with our new classes of 2020-2021.  Kiddos are in our Zoom virtual waiting rooms.  We all look at each other and agree to allow them in at the same time.

Please imagine:  Four nervous, quiet adults.

Said adults push a button on a computer.

Now imagine:  Four animated and bubbly teachers welcoming students into our virtual classrooms.

“Hello!  Welcome!  Hi!  Good Morning!”

It was loud.  It was happy.  And it was just what these teachers needed after weeks of planning and wondering:  students.

Five minutes in, the entire building of our school lost internet.  At the same time.

It came on later, and has been working fine ever since, but it was a great first impression, no?
3.  For reasons I do not understand, we do not have very many telephones at our school.  So, when a parent needs tech support and would like us to call, we have to walk over to a different building where I know 3 phones exist.  And we have to try and commandeer a phone.

4.  I had a parent.  She was STRUGGLING.  A phone call was necessary.  I gather my things and traipse into the principal assistant office and ask to use her phone.  She regrets to inform me that her phone is not working and I should just use the principal’s phone.

5.  Can we take a minute to be impressed with the technology set up at our new online only school?

6.  The principal man was not in his office.  He has many things that look important all over his desk.

Me:  Are you sure it is ok if I just go in there and sit at his desk?

Assistant Principal:  Yes, it is fine.

So.  I go in and sit down and make the phone call.

7.  The mother is very excited that I have called and she asks me to wait because she is on the toilet and needs to finish up.

8.  As I am waiting the principal walks in.  He looks a bit surprised to see someone sitting at his desk.  And rightfully so.  Because I am not even sure he knows who I am.  Because I work mostly with the principal assistant.  And I think if I was in a line up of like 5 people and he was asked to pick out the person who works at his school, he probably would be able to identify me, but it might be tough.

9.  He was very nice about it and let me continue to use his phone.

10.  So, I continue to wait for Toilet Mom.  And normally, I might just tell her I will call her later, but as you can probably tell, it is not easy to use a phone, so I just waited.

11.  I offered tech support to Toilet Mom and then I left the principal’s office.  I was going to make a comforting cup of hot tea, but the Principal had moved into the tiny room with a microwave to work while I had taken over his office.  In order to make tea, I would have had to kick him out again.

12.  I decided I could live without tea.

13.  Me every time I am in a Zoom meeting:

Ok, 1st Graders.  I am going to share my screen with you.

(like they know what that means)

Oh.  It is tricky.  This is tricky for Mrs. M.  Hang on.

Shoot.  Wrong button, hang on 1st graders!

Ok!  I think I did it.  Thumbs up if you can see my screen!

Yay!  I did it!  I did it, 1st graders!

First graders:

14.  One kiddo ran away from the Zoom meeting.  But his mom stayed and listened to my story.  She enjoyed it and put in a request for her favorite story to be read.  So I am going to call that a win.

15.  I would like to close this blog post with a Public Service Announcement:

DO.

NOT.

ANSWER.

YOUR.

PHONE.

IF.

YOU.

ARE.

SITTING.

ON.

A.

TOILET.

And if you do (but please, do not), do not tell the person you are on the phone with that you are on the toilet.

Happy Thursday, Friends.