Cruciferous Vegetable Night

I happily got in bed at 7:20 tonight, ready to hunker down.  Only to find out it is only 6:20.  And it made me annoyed.  Because I just want to go to bed.

So, I will blog.  And THEN I will go to bed.

1.  We went camping last weekend.  David was so kind as to let us take our new glorious camper on a camping trip.  And since the trailer is nicer than my house, can I call it a camping trip?  Because it feels like I am cheating.
2. Saturday was gorgeous.

This Mama moose and her twins have hung around our river site all season.  We give them two thumbs up.

Charlie and Abbie really like to go camping.  As dogs are wont to do.

3.  We went camping with my parents.  The evening turned chilly, so we went into THE TRAILER OF DREAMS and watched a movie.  Because we can do that now, apparently.  With recliner chairs.

4.  I do not have any reclining chair in my home.

5.  Oh!  The chairs are also heated with cupholders and a massage feature.

6.  When we were looking at trailers, I saw one with such a reclining chair feature and I put it on the list of “must haves.”  And then I made my dreams come true.

7.  Me:  David.  All I want is to sit in the recliner chair with a cup of coffee, the fire place on, a view of the river, and to not see LD’s underwear.

8.  On Sunday morning, I sat in the recliner chair.  I had a view of the river.  I had coffee.  I did not see LD’s underwear.  But, alas!  I had forgotten to turn on the fireplace.

9.  As luck would have it, THE TRAILER OF DREAMS came with a remote to turn on the fireplace.

10.  #CAMPING

11.  As I was sitting in my recliner seat, making all my dreams come true, the children emerged.  About two cups of milk was spilled in the fridge, on the counter, and on the floor, by an undisclosed number of children.  David was furious.  I remained happy in my massage chair and smiled as I watched David inform the children that THIS IS WHY WE CAN’T HAVE NICE THINGS.

12.  Camping ended.  We came home.  We had to go back to work/school/life sans recliner chairs.

13.  Woe unto us.

14.  The boys.  The boys infuriate me.  Allow me to introduce you to a segment I like to call,

“The Same Thing Happens Every Day.”

I wake them up.  They don’t get up.  I wake them up.  They don’t get up.  I yell at them.  HD gets up.  HD calls me Karen and makes himself breakfast.  He never puts anything away.  Then he goes and gets a large kitchen trash bag to cover his arm.

Because of the brace.  Because of the surgery.

Please.  Try to keep up.

For some reason, he saves his trash bag every day in the tub, but he still feels the need to get a new one each day.  So we have like 8 trash bags in the tub.  And no one knows why.

I scream like an insane woman and LD emerges.  He is pleasant and does not call me names.  He has to go straight to the shower because he cannot function until a blast of water has woken him up.

He must be reminded to use soap and he must be told when to get out.

Please note:  He is taller than I. So now when I scold him, I must look up.

Every day, they cannot find their uniform clothes.  Every day, I do two loads of laundry.  I have for the entire time they have existed on God’s green Earth.  They know I do.  I know I do.  I am a Laundry Titan.  But do they put their dirty uniforms in the hamper?

Of course not!  Because that would make sense.

So, they walk around, half naked, blaming each other for losing uniform clothing.  Meanwhile, I am trying to do dishes, clean up, get myself looking decent, and dealing with the incessant reminders of packing lunches and brushing teeth and putting on a dang pair of socks.

Today, I was over it.  We were obviously missing multiple uniform items.  So I told them I was taking inventory and they would be buying new clothes if they couldn’t produce the ones I had purchased for them.

Maybe I am a Karen?

Amazingly, and you had better sit down for this, they came home with three sweatshirts and two polos that they had accidentally left at school.

But it wasn’t anyone’s fault.  In case you were wondering.

15.  I pawned off another kitten on my Mother in Law.  Score!  Now I only have 7 felines abiding in my home.

16.  I took Rio and Mama Kitty to get fixed.  They went together.  It was a lovely grandmother/granddaughter outing.

17.  Mama came out of surgery with flying colors.  Rio, not so much.  She was not doing well.  I told my mother, who I felt would care, and she sent the laughing/crying emoji, which made me feel fussy.

“Now, Taylor.  I meant to do the crying emoji.  I can’t help that it is confusing.”

18.  My sweet baby, Rio, was completely out of it and snuggled with me and now I love her with all of my being.

19.  On Wednesday, also known as yesterday, I had an emotionally draining day.  I came home and got in bed and she snuggled on me and loved on me and it was basically all I ever needed in life.

20.  And I love her.

21.  I had too many cruciferous vegetables tonight.

22.  Bummer.

23.  I have a student.  Every time they unmute, I hear the smoke alarm chirping.  This has been happening THE ENTIRE SCHOOL YEAR.  It is incredulous and I don’t understand how they can continue on in life.  And I cannot comprehend what it all means?  Do they not care?  Do they not hear it?  Do they need me to mail them some batteries?

Please advise.