Crazy Cat Lady

The weather here is a bit saucy.

Weekend of Oct 17th

Weekend of October 24th

And today, October 31st

Would you like to see a picture of my favorite cow, Matilda?

Of course you do.

She is on the right.  I dig her.

Ok.  I had a chance to discuss the steer water situation with David.

Me:  What were you wanting me to do?

David:  Check the steer water.

Me:  Should the heater have been working?

David:  Yes

Me:  And why wasn’t it?

David:  I don’t know.  The boys probably unplugged it.

Me:  Was the automatic waterer supposed to be working?

David:  Yes.  The boys probably disconnected it and then it froze.

Me:  So did I do the right thing by letting the steers out?

David:  No.  You should have found a longer hose.

Me:  But wouldn’t it have just froze?  Because their tank was already half a block of ice?

David:

So.  We are just going to say that I did the right thing.  And what is with the boys ruining everything all the time?  I ask you?

***

Even though I double hate Halloween, I double LOVED seeing my students yesterday!  They are so tiny!  They are so cute!  I love them virtually and for realsies.

I have this one student.  Let’s call him “Max.”  Max has had sound issues from day one.  Every time poor Max unmutes and talks, he is SO LOUD.  All the kids, and myself, take our headphones off and painfully try and understand what Max is trying to communicate.  I have reached out to his dad and his dad has tried to trouble shoot, but we cannot figure out how to make Max’s volume more reasonable.

Reader.  I solved the mystery.

Max just shouts in real life.  He will always be painfully loud.

He showed up to the door.  And he shouted:

“HI!  I AM HERE FOR MRS. MALIKALAKAH!  I’M MAX!  FROM HER CLASS!”

Every kid pronounces my name differently.

AND . . . I love them.

***

David called me a Crazy Cat Lady today.

And, Reader.  If this life I am living in, surrounded by my feline friends, is what it means to be a crazy cat lady, then SIGN ME UP.

Mama Kitty was “bathing” Rio for a solid 15 minutes today.

Reader.  You must really examine the picture.

Zoom in, if you must.

Look at Rio.  She was like that for FIFTEEN minutes.  Thoroughly enjoying her tongue bath from her grandmother.

***

Last night.

Last night, Hadley had a friend over.  Which was fine and dandy.  David was working late-ish and I was asleep by 7:45pm.  Because, teaching.

At some point, I was awakened by much commotion.

Much.

I sat up and said/shouted, “What is going on?”

LD:  A bunch of cows are loose and Hadley and Lily are not even helping!

David, who is always so “asleep” in the middle of the night for all other emergencies, immediately sat up and scolded the boys for not closing up the gate correctly.

But, please.  Remember that David is unable to function to assist in any other emergency after 10pm.

I glanced at David’s phone.  I read the time as being 1:50am.  I was aghast, Reader.  AGHAST.  Because so many children were awake and it was definitely past everyone’s bedtime.

David stood at the bedroom window.  He opened it and he directed the boys on how to get the loose cows in.

I, of course, had to go to the bathroom.

I then asked Hadley and Lily what on earth they were doing at this hour.

Hadley:  We are giving ourselves cancer and the boys let the cows out!

Reader.  I do not know why she said anything about cancer.  I was too tired to care.

Me:  Can you do all those things A LOT QUIETER, PLEASE?

David and I got back into bed.  LD came in our room to plead that I kick Hadley and Lily out of the loft so he could watch tv.

Me:  No one needs to be watching TV right now!  It is almost 2am!

LD:  Mom!  It is 10pm!

Me:  No!

LD:  Yes!

I checked the phone.  The same phone that said 1:50am now read 10:58pm.

But it FELT like 1:58am.

Me:  Doesn’t matter.  It’s too late.  Everyone go to bed.

LD:  But, MOOOOOOOMMMMM.

Me:  How did you know cows were out anyways?

LD:  Because I was peeing.

Me:  What?

LD:  I went outside to pee.

Me:  You walked by a bathroom and out the front door to go pee outside?

LD:  Yeah.

Me:  Go to bed.  Just everyone go to bed.

Around midnight, the dogs were barking something fierce.

David:  THE HORSES ARE OUT!  Those boys.  I tell you.

And he kept muttering about the boys and went outside to put the horses in.

I turned on my deaf ear and went to sleep.

***

HD:  Kate!  Your shirt has a hole in it!

Kate, panicking, looking all around her shirt:  WHERE?

HD:  A WHOLE-LOTTA style.

The End.