No Need to Brandish the Weapon

Reader.  I prepared dinner every night this week.  And I decorated my front porch for Christmas.

Yes.  Christmas.  Perhaps I am turning into my mother after all.  I heard that happens.

But, Reader.  I am, like, all about Christmas decor all of a sudden.  Why?

I do not know.  But I am going shopping with mother on this very evening to find MORE Christmas decor.  I am like an addict now.

I am sure you have all been waiting with bated breath, wondering if HD was able to get his poem to stick.  He did it.  He nailed it.  And then I had to have a Come to Jesus meeting with him and David over the disrespect he has been showing me lately.  I am pleased to announce that it has been declared that the next time HD calls me “Karen,” he will lose his phone for a month.

***

Norma Jean Riley’s four kittens are everywhere.  It is almost time for them to depart and go off to their new families.  I have to admit, I am a bit sad.  I will never have kittens again, which is good, but also sad.  Because they are so cute.

The other morning, David came out of the bathroom and told me my kittens were freaking out and climbing up all over him.

David:  I think they are hungry.

Me:  Well, is Norma with them?

David:  I don’t know.  I don’t care.

I found Norma Jean at the front door.  She had been locked out all night.

Reader.  Did you know Mother Cats do a strange meowing/call when they want their babies to come near?  It is true.  I am learning so much about the cat world.  She came in and did her weird call and four fuzzy fur balls found her and she started feeding them right there in my closet.

She gets fixed on the 20th and thus ends 2020:  The Year of 16 Kittens.

Fun fact:  The 1 pound kittens hiss and try to attack our old Grandpa Dog, Tank.  They scare Tank, who is about 100 pounds and he likes to tremble and come and sit on my lap when they are picking on him.

As I am typing this, three kittens are climbing up my ironing board.  And I love them.

***

Kate had her senior pictures taken, as if anyone can believe THAT is happening.

This is Kate in 2006 at her 4 year old Cowgirl Birthday Party:

This is Kate now:

She humored me and she tried to do a pose that was similar to my senior picture.

She will be 18 soon and has plans to go off to college next summer.

***

Me, every hour:  Oooh!  Let’s check the news and see if we know who won the presidential election?

Me, every hour:  Nope!  Not yet!

***

The other day, I was meeting with one of my students via the ZOOM for a one on one reading session.  My teammates were not live with their students, so they could hear me.

This is what they heard.  And please imagine me speaking in a very chipper and upbeat voice.

Thank you.

Me:  Oh, really?  He got a new wife?!  Oooh.  How fun!  Oh, he moved far away?  With his new family?  That’s so nice.  I hope he has a happy new life.  Let’s practice reading this book.

Teammates:

Here is the full conversation:

Student:  We used to have a dog named Moose.  But he got a new wife and left.

Me:  Oooh, really?  He got a new wife?

Student:  Yeah.  He found a wife and had babies.

Me:  Oh!  How fun!

Student:  Yeah.  We found out that he found a wife and we told the other people that they could just keep him so he moved with them.

Me:  Oh, he moved far away?  With his new family?

Student:  Yeah.  With his wife and babies.

Me:  That’s so nice.  I hope he has a happy life.

Student smiles and beams sunshine and rainbows.   And then we read.

***

I have BIG news.

I picked my car up yesterday.

I KNOW.

It has been at the mechanic for almost two months.  I went to grab it and there was a mechanic guy legit wearing a gun on his hip.  He wanted me to look at the nice work they did, as if I even knew what the car looked like when it was wrecked, seeing as how David wrecked it and not me.

It was pouring rain and he had a gun on his hip and he wanted me to be impressed and I was and then he told me it was a very nice Infiniti and called it “stout.”

Thankfully, he felt no need to brandish the weapon and I happily drove away in my stout Infiniti.

***

My mom recently switched her phone service.  She is pleased because she gets a new phone.  And then she said this sentence:

Mom:  They are going to send me a new Samsung!  Now I can be done with this hideous iPhone.

My mom uses the word hideous wrong, in my opinion.  But she will hear none of it.  She uses it as a synonym for awful.  I use it only in an “appearance” sense.  Who is correct?  I know not.  But since I am turning into my mother, I am sure I will also declare new technology “hideous” in 20 years.

My parents and technology do not play nicely. As evidenced by this old photo of my dad trying to listen to music digitally.

Happy Friday!