Flank Pain

Saying goodbye to Tank was so hard for us.  I appreciate all the comments and well-wishes.  For the past year or two, I have been patting him and saying ridiculous things to him, such as:

“We were so lucky to have found you.”

“Thank you for being our Tank.”

“How lucky were we?”

And like a fool, I hoped he understood. He was the epitome of the faithful dog.  He loved us and we loved him.  I will forever miss coming home to him, as he would show excitement and energy, which was rare for him.  My heart still hurts.  I remember saying goodbye to Mabel ten years ago, and it was the worst thing ever.  Aren’t dogs simply the best?  We are lucky to have them.

So.  I went from four dogs to two dogs in about two months.  Abbie and Charlie are well-loved, but currently want to murder each other.  We discovered Charlie is in heat. She is not yet fixed.  We are hopeful that is the issue and our gal pals can continue to live happily with us for many years to come.

And David’s brother, Alex, is over the moon happy to be reunited with Cali.  He keeps texting us pictures and saying thank you.  I am happy we were able to help him out.  Even though it was for TWO AND A HALF YEARS.

Not that I was keeping track.

***

On Sunday, I was so so so so so sad.  I decided to take a walk and was cheered by my beautiful cows and blue skies.

I was feeling all blessed and happy until I happened upon the remains of my sweet calf friend who died on Friday.

Woe unto me, Friends.

Woe.

Unto.

Me.

Attention David: If you tell the boys to put the calf on a burn pile, please BURN the pile.

Thank you.

***

Teen Driving Story #2

I was driving with teen.  The speed limit was 50.  She was probably going around 60.  We were approaching a curve and a downhill grade that suggested we lower our speed to 35. We were coming in hot, and I was feeling frantic.

However.

I was trying to be cool and collected and trust that “teen” would slow down.

Alas.  She did not.

Me:  Why aren’t you slowing down?

Teen (calmly):  Mother. I am not accelerating.  The car will naturally slow itself down.  Science.

Me (no longer calm, slamming my hands on my thighs):  WE. ARE. GOING. DOWN. A. HILL.

Needless to say, the car did not, and I quote, “naturally slow itself down.”

***

Hildy.

Some inquired as to why Hildy would have to be sold and/or butchered, simply because her calf died.

Allow me to tell you The Tale of Hildy:

David purchased Hildy as a bred cow in the fall of 2018.  In the spring of 2019 she calved a heifer calf.

Poor little heifer calf lived about two months and then died.

We don’t know why.

Spoiler alert:We do not really know what we are doing over here.

Around Labor Day of 2019, Hildy suffered a medical issue, and I, yes, I,Taylor Maliblahblah saved her.  Because I am one with the cows.  And also, I hope my husband reads this someday and appreciates me all the more.

Hildy was on her back and stuck in a slope on our property. I called a vet and heeded his instructions.  Although the vet said she was pretty much going to die.

David was away at camp.  Jason was about to join David at camp.

Remember Jason?

Jason relayed an important message to David.  David left camp and called me.  I imparted wisdom on him and Hildy was saved.

Hildy should have calved this spring.  We don’t know why she calved this November. It could have been Waylon’s fault?  It could have been her fault?

Who knows.

But David is not interested in paying to feed cows who are not profitable to him.  And since I already claimed Matilda and Babs as my cows who will never be slaughtered, I have no leg to stand on.

This life I lead is full of sadness. Friends.

Misery and Sorrow.

***

Mother came over.  She fixed my Christmas decor.  Which is all I ever wanted in life:  someone ELSE to decorate for me.

***

Kate and Auggie made everyone homemade pizza and it was LITERALLY the best pizza ever.

I hope I get to eat it again soon.

***

Something is wrong with my back/side area.  I told Mother.  She told me I had flank pain.

Reader.  I did not know I had a flank. For I am not a cow.

Mother insists it is flank pain.

Is this what it means to be 39?

Farewell.