HOD-ley

Sometimes when we watch the kids’ games via the livestream, there are announcers at their games.  And it is all quite impressive.  And I would like the records to show that the announcers, who do not know who we are, were able to correctly pronounce our last name.  However, they did pronounce Hadley’s name as:  HOD-ley.  And that was something.

Let’s talk about HODley for a minute.

I got off the phone with the important insurance man and he told me we needed to send him the title of her car.

Me:  Hadley, I need the title of your car.

Hadley:  Ok, what’s that.

Me:  The super important piece of paper that shows you own the car.

Hadley:  No idea.  Probably in my glove box.

Me:  HADLEY!  You NEVER keep a title in your glovebox!

Hadley:  Gosh, geez, I don’t know, gosh.  I am only sixteen!

So sheand I hop in the car and drive one hour to the mechanic to go and try to rescue her title before the insurance company tows it away.  On December 23rd.

We get to the car and she pulls everything out of the glove box, only to find there is no title.  Only an application for a title.

Reader.  I did not go to the DMV with her last year.  David did.

Me:  HADLEY.  Did you and dad ever send this off?

Hadley:  Gosh, geez, I don’t know.

So, there is helpful phone number and we are put on hold for the state DMV’s office and we became annoyed when we were told by a robot that there were 5 people ahead of us, and then the robot updated us and said there were 4 people ahead of us, and then that robot had the audacity to cheerfully tell us there were 9 people ahead of us.

We did not care for her math.

And then we talked to a helpful lady and she did a lot of typing on a keyboard and informed us that the title was most assuredly sent and Hadley would need to apply for a duplicate and we have to go into the dmv to do that.  And does anyone else in the world loathe having to actually go to the DMV?  Or is it just people who live around me?  Because that place is not running like a well-oiled machine.

Me:  Oh, gosh.  Is there anyway do take care of this online?

Helpful Lady:  Oh, honey, it would take far too long.  You need to go to your DMV office.

So I look up the number of my local DMV office and find that we have two locations in our county.  One is closed for reasons the internet will not even mention to me.  The other appears open and has a working telephone number.  But when you call the telephone number, you talk to a robot man who says the office is open but too busy to take my call.  And I am not happy with the robots who work at my state’s DMV, because, seriously.

So, we drive to the DMV and there are signs posted that say, “Appointment only” and we try to make an appointment on our phones, but we keep being told we cannot.  So, I walk in and talk to a human.  She is also nice, but regrets to inform me that they are currently out 45 days for appointments.  And the appointment maker app won’t even operate that far out.

Me to David:  I have no idea where her title is.

David:  I rememer it coming in the mail.  And I said to her, “Hadley.  This is important.  Keep is safe.”

Hadley:  Geez, gosh, I didn’t know.

***

Meanwhile, today is Christmas Eve and I fear David is not as jolly as everyone else’s husbands are on a day such as today.

A few days ago this happened:

And today is the first day that David had off to deal with it.

We are having a bit of vehicular woes.  Allow me to walk you through them.

Hadley’s car:  totaled

David’s truck:  broke down, at mechanic

Kate’s car:  in town with her at work

Bobcat:  NEVER functioning properly

My car:  fine

Spare Subaru:  fine, but has a bit of a flat tire.

Work Van:  ONLY FOR DAVID AND WORK

Ok.  So David needed to use the Bobcat, but to use the Bobcat, he needed to jump the battery and to jump the battery, he needed my car.

*I think*

Let the records show:  this story is being told to you by me who has yet to actually get information from David and saw the events unfold from the comfort of her living room window.

When he was using my car to start up the Bobcat, something broke.  I wanna say it was a battery line or cable, but really, what do I know?

So he came inside to tell Hadley that he needed her to take the Subaru to town and get a part for my car.

Hadley:  Um.  I left my keys in Lily’s car in town.

This was not the correct answer, Reader.

So, I start to get ready and try to offer to David that I can take his work van to town and get the part for the SUV and the keys for the Subaru.

David comes in.  He does not appear merry like Santa Claus.  Unfortunately.

David:  I think I have the SUV working well enough to drive it to town and get the part.  The boys are NOT ALLOWED to step foot into this house until they have shown you four red hoses that are about 18 inches long.  If they tell you they have to go to the bathroom, you will hand them toilet paper and send them back outside.  Here are my workvan keys in case I break down and I need you to come and get me.

Me:  Ok, are you going to get the Subaru keys while in town?

David:  No, that is Hadley’s problem.

*sigh*

Off he tootles to town.  The tree is still in a precarious spot and my boys are trying to find red hoses.

And I am so fearful that it is going to fall on my lovely deck because that would not be a Christmas miracle, friends.

So, I check on the boys.  Their spirits are good given the current situation.

Me:  So.  You got some red hoses for me?

LD:  Yeah, yeah, we are working on it.

Me:  What happened?

LD:  I dropped them and they fell in the Bobcat.  It was an accident.

HD:  LD dropped them.  I have found two.  He is lucky to have me.

Me:  Well, hopefully you don’t have to go to the bathroom anytime soon.

And then I see one of the infamous red hoses, and my whole world has opened up.  Because apparently people use the word “hose” for items other than garden hoses.  Because when I saw LD holding one, I would have classified it as a “tube-thingie.”

You learn something new everyday.

Meanwhile, HODley and I were wrapping presents and cleaning the house.  Charlie was taking her puppy brothers all around the property and showing them how to cause general mischief.  I am a good grandma to my grandpups, and I ushered the puppy brothers inside and fed them and told them to take a nap.

I am a wise grandmother.

Here’s what I know:

1.  My car is fixed.
2. The subaru keys are still in town.
3. David started trying to get the bobcat to run around 8am for tree removal.
4. At 2pm David told me the Bobcat was finally running, yet I do not see anything happening to that tree.
5. The boys must have found the missing tube-thingies because they got to use the bathroom AND eat lunch.
6.  We do not have a title for Hadley’s car, nor do we have an appontment to get a duplicate title for Hadley’s car.

Merry Christmas!