Calfsicles

This year, we started “tagging” our calves.  We can only tag the calves because we can overpower them for a small window of time.

We cannot tag the large cows.

This is because our cows are not tame.  Nor are they docile.  And we need a squeeze chute.  And fun fact:  David purchased two squeeze chutes like three years ago and they are just sitting somewhere on the property until he can find the time to incorporate them into the corral.  But that is neither here nor there.

The point is:  all our little calves have been tagged.

I tripped and fell at work a week and a half ago and my knee is giving me grief.  I have been working from home a bit more so I could prop and ice the old girl.  As I was teaching, I swore I saw a calf out there with no tag.  So, on my lunch break, I went to investigate.

And Purple Cow #5 had a cute little bull calf with her.

I noticed I could not see Mildred.  Mildred is a cow on our property.  She came to us the year I was actually thoughtfully naming cows.  Purple Cow number five came the year I was naming for ease and simplicity.

If you must know:  she has one purple tag in her ear with the number 5 written on it.

Hence:  Purple Cow #5.

You may say:  “Taylor!  Why do you deceive us so?  You told us you could not tag the big cows?!”

Reader.  We cannot.  David buys cows at auctions sometimes.  And they come pre-tagged.

Back to Mildred.

I walked a bit farther back and saw the had just given birth.  The calf was very tiny and weak and just a newborn.  Also, Mildred turns into a psycho hose beast when she becomes a mother and she would very much like to murder me for even becoming aware that she had a calf.

If I walked near Mildred last week, she would look at me, unimpressed, and keep eating.

If I walk within 100 feet of Mildred right now, she wants my blood.

As luck would have it, our temperatures dropped quite a bit this week.

It’s like a high of 12 over here.

Purple Cow Number Five is doing a swell job with her baby.  That thing is always with her.  Mildred likes to ditch her baby and go eat.  David and I were quite worried because her baby was all alone and the temps were going to drop so low that night.

Poor baby!  It was a calf-sicle.  Also look at the dry ground where Mildred had once laid.

Such girth.  Makes me feel better about my swimsuit body.

David:  Should we bring the calf inside?

Me:  David.  We have brought two calves into our laundry room to save them and both of them have died.  We have a 0% Laundry Room Calf Survival rate.

We left them alone.

The next day, I checked and was so hopeful that the babies had made it.

Purple Cow Number 5 is winning all the parenting awards over here.  She keeps her little guy with her and makes sure he is hanging out in the very hay she is consuming.

Mildred did NOT abandon her baby in the night and he is doing quite well.

Now is that not precious?  He is like hopping and dancing.  Also, he has poop frozen to his butt.

It is THAT cold.

Oh, and surprise!  Another cow calved on the coldest night of the year!

This time it was “Small Untagged Heifer.”

Her baby is super tiny and she was not anywhere near him.  He was mooing and fussing.  Mildred and her little dude went to go hang out with him, but his mother was not coming.  So I went and got behind her and led her over to him.  Because the dude is like super tiny and it is super cold and Small Untagged Heifer (who might be Mildred’s heifer calf from two seasons ago) needs to get this Mama business figured out.

So all is well.  Everyone is alive.  We have three new babies.

It is cold.  My knee hurts.

The End.