Mom. She is not a dog.

Let’s talk about reading.

Reader.  Have you ever tried to teach a struggling reader how to read?  And who is responsible for the English language?  We most hold this person accountable for the atrocities they have brought upon our youth.

Struggling reader tries to read “Pete.”

Student:  pet

Me:  Oh!  I see a bossy E!  What does bossy e do?

Student:  Pete.

Student tries to read “fine”

Student:  fin

Me:  Bossy E!

Student tries to read “mane, shine, and cube.”

Student:  man, shin, cub

Me:  Oh!  Don’t forget about that tricky bossy E!

Student, who is now completely over me, tries to read “have.”

Student:  hAve!

Me:  Oh!  Hmm.  Good job on the bossy E, there, but this is a “rule breaker”!  You just ignore the bossy E in this word.

Me:  “ow” team says “ow” as in cow.

Student:  wow

Me:  Yes!

Student:  now

Me:  Yes!

Student:  kuh-now!

Me:  Oh!  Hmm.  Well in this word, the “ow” team says long O and the k is quiet.  And this is “know” like “I know the answer” not “No, you cannot have a cookie.

Student: . . .

Me:  Let’s talk about the word “Wednesday.”  We say “Wensday.”  But when we spell it, try to say in your head “wed-nes-day.”

Student:  *crickets chirping*

They probably think I sound like a lunatic.

We have been reading Farmer Boy together in class.  And have you ever read Farmer Boy?  I love Almanzo.  He is a good character to teach the kids about perseverance.

But, I digress.

We were at the chapter, “The Strange Dog.”

Me:  Ok, kids.  This chapter is going to feel a bit different than the others.  It is pretty suspenseful!

We read the chapter and discuss it at the end.

Student (with giant eyes):  Mrs M!  That chapter made me feel scared almost!

Me:  I know!  Did you remember how I told you it would be suspenseful?

Student (eyes still giant):  I didn’t know what the word “spenceful” meant!

***

One of my children exits the shower.  Said child goes to where I keep the clean clothes hampers.

Child (annoyed):  Where are my clean clothes?

Me:  Well.  Yesterday, you were told to put them all away.  And you did.  Good job!  But I was in town all day and did not do more laundry, so there is no new clean laundry for you to choose from.

Child:  UGH.

Aren’t I just the worst?  The nerve of me.

***

Since I was in town yesterday, the children were responsible for Hazel’s afternoon and evening bottles.

Children:  How do we do it?

Me:  You make the bottle.  Open the door to the coop.  Call out “Hello, Hazel!”  And show her the bottle.  She will get up and come to you.

Children: . . .

Me:  You must say hello to her!  Also, give her a few pets.

Children:  Mom.  She is not a dog.

While I was in town, HD decided bottle feeding was not his cup of tea, and he rigged up a bottle holder for Hazel.

HD:  See, Mom?  Now you don’t have to be out there in the cold feeding her.  She will just drink her own bottle.

Me:  But how will she know we love her?

Children:  Mom.  She is not a dog.

Yes, HD’s contraption will come in handy when I am in a hurry.  He did a good job.  But I still like to visit with her.

You can see his contraption in the background.  It was clever of him.

We bought that bottle holder back when we had Tiny Tim.

Do you reember Tiny Tim?  Do you?  Do you?

He died.

Shocker.

Here is little Miss Hazel, being all cute and nine days old:

And she just wanted to play with Charlie and me and not go back in the coop.

And when Charlie had enough, she led her back into the coop.

Although I am not convinced that is the proper way to herd a calf.

The puppy brothers have given themselves a job.

They stand guard at the water trough and growl fiercely at any horse or cow who dares to drink from the trough.

So far, they have deterred no animal from drinking from the trough.  Yet, they press on.