There Will Be No Coffee Drinks For Boys Who Hit Their Brothers With Shovels.

Kate had her senior prom last night with Auggie.

A few days ago, she declared a national disaster because her dress color was, and I quote “THE WORST COLOR EVER.”

She had purchased the dress online.  No one else agreed that it was ugly, so she kept it.

The best part was she bought these shoes with the biggest heel you had ever seen.

When Auggie came to the door, I greeted him with this:

“Hello.  You look nice and all that jazz, but listen.  I need you to be on my team.  Kate is wearing shoes and she should not wear these shoes.  But she chooses not to listen to me.  I am going to give you three reasons as to why she should not wear these shoes:

1.  She literally cannot walk.  At all.
2. She is going to be like a foot taller than you.
3. She is probably going to get injured.”

Auggie, who is always such a good-natured fellow, proclaimed he could not care less if she was taller than him.  This is something I like about Auggie.  He is a bit on the smaller size, and takes all teasing very easily and is just a chill and agreeable dude.

Would Kate listen to my mother or I about her shoes?

No.

Would Kate listen to Auggie about her shoes?

Yes.

After Kate and Auggie drove off into the sunset, the rest of us were to be helping Ma and Pa with some yard work and the like.  They are being so generous to host a party for Kate’s graduation, so we were there to help.

Our schedules are super tight, so we only had this one evening to dedicate to pool cleaning.  As luck would have it, it was the most frigid night you could imagine, plus rain, and it was awful and we looked amazing and here is a picture of Mom and Hadley.

It was unpleasant.

But we had to do it!  And we did it and everyone lived and everyone looked like a drowned rat afterwards.

***

Reader.

There is something you need to know about David.

David will only chew Extra brand gum in bubblegum flavor.

If you buy him a different brand of bubblegum, he will not even try it.

Not.

Even.

There is something else you need to know about David.

He is cheap.

But only with some things.  Like gum!  Not if he goes to a livestock auction.

David is a grown 40 year old man, but he allows himself only ONE piece of Extra brand Bubblegum per day.

Just one!

And he can make it last the entire day.  How, you ask?  Well.  He purchases peppermints and sticks them in his gum to suck on them to give the gum a bit of flavor during the day.

How many peppermints can David have in a day?

Infinity.

How many pieces of gum can David have in a day?

ONE.

It’s the rules.

Not for me.  I sometimes have TWO pieces of gum.  But don’t tell.

***

I was outside doing some farm and ranching when UPS came.  The UPS man did not see me, but the dogs were right there at his van.  He opened his van door and just tossed a bunch of dog treats out the door and is that not the most genius idea you ever heard?

The dogs scattered, he delivered packages without getting barked at, the end.

***

We are in the middle of a bunch of projects over here.  One such project is the chicken coop.  You will recall that David told me the coop wasn’t ready.  I asked him what needed to be done and did it myself and put the chickens in the coop.  I let the dogs out and watched them try to breach the perimeter.  They were unable to, so I called it a success.

Meanwhile, the dudes were spreading bark and HD got mad at LD and somehow LD got hit with a shovel and had an owie on his leg.

Later, we went to town and HD had the AUDACITY to suggest that they get coffee drinks for their hard work.

Me:  There will be no coffee drinks for boys who hit their brothers with shovels!

I feel it is good parenting advice.  Feel free to steal it.

Also, I did not do a good job on the fence and within 24 hours, the dogs breached the perimeter and slaughtered six chicks.

It was a colossal bummer.

***

Have you been wondering if I am going to get a new front door for Mother’s Day?

You are not alone.

This old door is past its prime.

David scored an unwanted door off a jobsite and brought it home.  I painted it today and got things all ready.  I cannot show you a picture because the door is currently still in the driveway.

The old door is already in the trash pile.  And I currently am home alone, blogging, with no front door.

David and the boys are trying to capture Wandering Heifer of the Hills.  Who apparently wasn’t a heifer at all, but a bred cow, because she was spotted WITH A CALF.

Apparently the calf is reddish in color with a white marking on his/her face and I am all agog, but the pair are still roaming the hills all wild-like.

Anyways, I have no front door and they are all trying to get the cow/calf and if they are successful I plan to name the calf “Little Red.”  Because I can.

I wasn’t invited to the rodeo, but I am ok with that.

I am weaning Hazel down to one bottle, and more furious she could not be.  She has eye goop again and I asked David to shoot her in the buns with something to fix her and he was like, “No.”

!

On MOTHER’S DAY EVE and EVERYTHING!

“Taylor.  You can’t just give her a shot for everything. She needs to build up an immune system.”

I probably should listen to him since I totes failed on the whole chick/fence/dog situation, but I am still worried.

I don’t see her as much.  She is acting like a cow and hanging with cows.  She does, however, like to come to the gate and yell at me when she is hungry.

***

Here is a picture of Charlie napping.

You’re welcome.