Vittles

I am sure you have all been waiting with bated breath to hear whether or not HD finally has a working iPhone X something.

Yes.  Yes, he does.

Unfortunately for him, the new phone came via uSps on the day of my surgery and no one was headed back to town to help him activate it.  I was still a bit groggy from the surgery and HD decided to bring both of his phones into my room for a quick little phone convo.

HD:  Mom!  How do I keep my pictures?

Me:  Huh?

HD:  If I sign out of my old phone, what will happen to my pictures?

He is currently holding up two iPhone X somethings that look exactly the same.

Me:  Well, I don’t really know.

HD:  Mom!  This is important!  I have pictures of my buck and Norman on the phone.

Me:  I believe there is a Cloud?

HD:  A cloud?

Me:  Yeah.  I think Google made a cloud and all your pictures are there.

HD:  Where is the cloud?

Me:  I have no idea.  But I believe it exists.

HD: How do I find the cloud?

And then I think I drifted off to sleep.  I cannot be certain.

In all honesty, I am not so good with understanding the cloud myself and I truly have no idea what will happen to any pictures.  With help from David and Hadley, he was able to get his phone all squared away with service and he is a happy camper.

About two months ago, HD talked me into letting him get a dirt bike.  I know, I know.  I promise you this, Reader, I did not go down without a fight.  David was Pro-LetTheBoyHaveTheDirtBike and I was Pro-KeepTheBoyAlive.  David’s solution was to have HD and I come up with a contract for the dirt bike with several safety measures in place.  The perk to this contract was anytime he spoke in a sassy-pants way to me, I could take the dirt bike away.

Reader.  He is so sassy, that bike is grounded until September.  It is very easy to keep the boy alive on the dirt bike when he is never riding the dirt bike.  And the new disrespectful thing the boys do is call me a racist.

Boys:  Mom!  There is nothing good to eat.  Can you make biscuits and gravy?

Me:  No, not today.

Boys:  Gosh, you are such a racist.

And then they get grounded from all the things because of their ignorant comments.  Parenting is fun.  I am basking in the glory of the teen years.

Basking.

But, I digress.

Yesterday, we permitted the dudes to have a companion over. They talked me into allowing them to ride their bikes (non-motorized bikes, of course) to a beach to fish and swim.  There is a restaurant near this beach and they also fancied grabbing something to eat.

I said -“Fine.  But everyone needs a helmet and you need to take your phone in case of emergencies.”

Please remember, I am still in knee-surgery-recovery mode and spending a lot of time icing and propping.  I am also getting really good at the game “Word Forest” on my phone, but that is neither here nor there.

So, off they went.

I soon get a call from HD.  HD says LD lost a fishing pole on the bike ride to the fishing spot and it was Dad’s fishing pole and it is worth $500 and Dad is  going to be so so mad and can I please make LD go back and get it.

I have so many questions, but talking to these people is pointless, so I say they have to all stay together with the phone and go and get their father’s fishing pole.

And I had NO IDEA David had a fishing pole that costs $500.  It begs the question-

Does he really have a $500 fishing pole?  Or was HD embelleshing his story?

So, I am icing, propping, killing it on Word Forest, and tracking them on my phone.  I then can see that David, who was driving home near their bike route, had stopped with them.

They are all stopped for about 20 minutes and the service there is spotty so I cannot call anyone.  So, I hop in the car and drive to them.

And this is what I discover.

HD is bleeding.  HD is bleeding because he wrecked his bike.  HD wrecked his bike because the bike he was riding didn’t have brakes.

Me:  Did you know you didn’t have working brakes when you left?

HD:  Yes. Two of the bikes don’t have working brakes.

Me:  And you didn’t think this would be a problem?

HD:  No, because I had a plan!

I didn’t hear the full story of his plan, nor was I interested in the story, but I did hear how he wrecked the bike.

He was going downhill and increasing in speed.  He saw a random driveway that led uphill, so he swerved to go up that driveway to slow the bike.  He did not know that random driveway had a random cable stretched across it, so he hit the cable and went flying into the brush.  Hence the bleeding.

Me:  Where is your helmet?

David:  They have one helmet in a backpack for all three of them.

Me:  *Face Palm*

HD:  Mom, I had a helmet!  I just didn’t NEED it.

Me:  *Face Palm*

Meanwhile, LD is completely oblivious to where he lost his poor father’s fishing pole.  David is not happy about this news, which is understandable, but LD has no clue what happened to it.

Me:  Did you set it down?  Did it fly off your bike?  What exactly happened?

LD:  I don’t know.

Sadly, the three amigos never made it all the way to the lake to swim and fish.  And David and I, being the unreasonable parents that we are, made them load up the bikes and come home.  Except, bummer for me, because now I need to feed them since they weren’t going to get food at the restaurant.  And even though I just went to Costco, they have already plowed through all the vittles.  And, yes, I read a book set back in the days or yore and have been DYING to use the word, “vittles” in natural conversation.  I feel like I worked it in well, don’t you?

Oh, yes.  All the chicken nuggets-gone.  All the cans of Chili-gone.  I have chicken patty burgers, but no buns because LD likes to make garlic bread with the buns.  I don’t have the “good” chips and I don’t have the specific yogurt flavors that are preferred, although I do have the less desirable yogurt available.  But, sadly, the boys can eat strawberry flavored yogurt, but vanilla yogurt makes them gag.

I did have some leftover spaghetti sauce from the other night, so I started to boil some water for noodles when LD comes in shouting joyfully-

“Guess what!  The fishing pole was here all along!  I never even brought it with me, so I didn’t actually lose it!”

So that’s that.

In other news, Kate is moving away very soon and I am starting to realize that I do not think she is ready to take on the world yet.  I mean, she is 18 and allowed to go, but I don’t think that girl is done baking, man.  It’s like I am checking the oven and she is still not ready to go, yet I have to take her out and get her ready to take on the world.  But ready or not, world, here she comes.

So that’s also that.

And this picture popped up in my memories from 9 years ago today.

The Dudes.

This will always be my favorite pic of the two of them.  I mean, just look at it.  It is gold!

Why is HD doing that?

We may never know.

Happy Tuesday.