If You Don’t Know This By Now

My Mom:  What are you doing this weekend?

Me:  Cleaning, laundry, and revamping my whole reading program.

Ha.

“Revamping My Whole Reading Program.”

And other lies I tell myself.

I thought about it and I cannot wrap my brain around it all the way yet, so revamping shall wait.  I spent all week in a training for Orton Gillingham, if that means anything to you.  It was excellent and overwhelming all wrapped into one.  My instructor was the most fun and not only did I learn much about the art of teaching reading from him, but I also scored this nugget, per Mr. Teacher’s advice.

When the children keep asking the same thing that you have already told them so many times, such as:

“Mrs. M.  I am done.  Where should I put my paper?”

just start singing this song, to the tune of “If You Don’t Know Me By Now”.

“If you don’t know THIS by now.  You will never, never, never know it.  Ooooh-oooh-oooh.”

Friends.  I simply cannot wait to try it out.  I shall keep you abreast of the situation.

***

Ask me how crocheting is going.

***

Sometimes I make David watch funny videos, such as SNL clips on the YouTube.  I feel it gives him a healthy break from all the pig butchering videos.

He loves it.

Me:  David-that guy right there is married to Scarlett Johansson.  Do you know who that is?

David:  Yeah.  The girl from “Gone With The Wind.”

Me:  Are you kidding me right now?

David:  No!  She was in that book.

Out of desperation, frugality, and a lack of other options, David listened to Gone With the Wind via the Audible.

Me:  Do you love it?  Do you love it?  Do you love it?

David: ________

Me:  It is just sooooo good.

David:  It’s kinda long.

Anyways.  I had to explain to David that Scarlett Johansson is a living, breathing actress who makes a LOT more money than us, and Scarlett from the book was ficticious and would surely be dead at this moment in time, had she been a living human being.

***

David is losing hair from his head, but growing more hair out his ears and eyebrows.  I really want to groom him, but he is too manly for that.

Please advise.

***

Seriously.  Ask me how crocheting is going.

***

David and the boys worked hard all week to repair the in ground wire fence for the dogs.  This dog fence has been the bane of my existence.  But they worked hard all weekend long and finally got it all squared away.

HD is in the skidsteer.  David is wearing the hood and LD is standing near by with the red bucket.  They are burying a wire in the ground, or so I was led to believe.  The boys and David are all almost the same heighth now.

When they came in, I had a big spaghetti meal prepared for them, and, because I am a wife worth more than fine rubies, I had prepared a chocolate cake for David and had a jar of his family’s homemade applesauce chilling in the fridge. Longtime readers just might recall David’s odd obsession with sauced apples.  I don’t share in the obsession, as I am not a baby and I can eat a whole apple without it being pureed.  But, I digress.

David enjoys taking perfectly good chocolate cake and dumping loads of applesauce on it.

Never store bought applesauce!  That would be silly.

I spent a lot of time meal prepping this weekend and dealt with So MUCH beef.  So, naturally, I ate oatmeal instead.  Because I have a hard time eating food when I knew that food and his/her parents.

The dogs and I are enjoying our walks.  I surely love those dogs.

Whenever I get home from work, I shout/sing to them “All the Little Puppies!” to the tune of Beyonce’s “All the Single Ladies!”

Feel free to steal that juicy tip.

The dogs like to jump on the hay bales.

David likes to have hay bales.  He literally has 798 giant hay bales and every day he’s all:

“Taylor.  We have a hay problem.  We need more hay.”

He’s not stable, mentally.

Oh!  I have yet to show you this gem.  Kate sent this little memorial for Hazel’s grave. HD accidentally dropped it and shattered it.  For a minute, I thought about ordering a new one.

But then I was like, Nah.  It represents my shattered heart.

Bleeding hearts of the world.

Anyways. Here’s Matilda’s calf.

Let’s move on.

I have been noticing that David’s laundry is always so much easier to fold than everyone else’s.

Well.  Yesterday, David was taking his shorts off (calm down, it wasn’t as exciting as it sounds), and he was like shimmy-shaking.

Me:  What on earth are you doing?

David:  I am taking my shorts of CORRECTLY.

And I just stood there and thought for a minute.  And, Reader.  David ALWAYS puts his clothes in the hamper with them all not inside out.  Like if I take a sweatshirt off, I pull it off in all sorts of weird ways and it is inside out and sleeves are stuck and it is a hot mess.

But David takes his clothes off in the neatest way possible and I just now realized this after 21 years of marriage.  And that is why his clothes are so easy to fold.

And I could not stop laughing at the way he said “CORRECTLY” and I know he was throwing some shade my way.

Today was Sunday and a day we could sleep in.  So you can imagine my dismay when I woke up at 4:16am ready to greet the day.  I tried to go back to sleep, but it was not working.

David:  Did you start the coffee?

Me:  No!  It is like 4am and I feel like I should try to go back to sleep!

But then I had to get up and go to the bathroom, and Reader!  It was daylight savings time!  My phone said 4:16am, but the oven clock said 5:16am.  And 5:16am IS sleeping in for David and I! And that is reasonable.

Joyous!

So we made coffee and watched three episodes of Ted Lasso at 4:30 in the morning.  As people do.

David has been fussy with me lately, but I didn’t know why.

I have spoken before of David and his two moods:

Fine.

Not fine.

Not fine means everything that is not fine.  It is quite broad.

Anyways, he has been “not fine” with me, but when I ask him, he doesn’t answer and so it has been an exhausting adventure of guess and check.

I was noticing he seemed fussy with me for falling asleep early every night.

Because, first graders.

David has been working a ton and hunting and busy and we haven’t seen each other much.  But this weekend, he was home more than he has been usually.

David:  I haven’t seen this much of you in awhile.  I missed you.

And isn’t that the most romantic thing you have ever heard?

I will try to stay awake a bit later at night to visit with him.

He was not fine because he missed me.

I like him.