Cobb Salad

We spent a few days with Kate last week.

She is a party and a half.

Kate:  Mom, how is your cobb salad?

Me:  Good.

Kate looks at my salad:  Is the meat on your salad chicken or cobb?

Me:  I do not understand.

Kate:  Is that chicken or cobb?

Me:  Well.  This is chicken.  What exactly do you think cobb is?

Kate:  It is meat, Mom.

Me:  No.  No, it is not.

Kate:  Yeah!  It is fish!

Me:  Ok, that would be cod, and no, that is not on my salad.

Oh, she is tons of fun.  She was home with us for just a bit before we took her to meet up with her boyfriend and his family.  The night before we were to leave, she was all a flutter.

“Mom, can I do laundry?  Mom, can I bake muffins?”

Sure, but I am way too tired so you are on your own, pal.

She fell asleep with her clothes in the washing machine and the muffins made and the kitchen kind of-but not at all-cleaned up.  Since I am the best mom ever, I put her clothes in the dryer for her.  And then folded them.

See?  Nice.

Anyways.  That was all on Friday.  Friday, I had to teach the precious children and leave my classroom ready for a week with a sub.

While I was at school, Hadley and the boys were home.   Jestine, my gal pal who was adopting Darcy/Darla, was planning to come to our house so she could pick up Darcy/Darla and take her to the vet.

Later in the day, I check in with Hadley.

Me:  Did Jestine get the calf ok?

Hadley:  Yeah.

Me:  How did you guys load her?

Hadley:  We put the calf on a sled and we pushed the sled to the horse trailer and got her in that way.

Me:  OH PLEASE TELL ME YOU TOOK A PICTURE

Hadley:  No?  Why would I do that?

Me:  So you can look back at your childhood and marvel at the fact that once you and your brothers got a 300 pound heifer calf on a sled and pushed her through the snow to a horse trailer?

Hadley:  Hmmm.  Anyways.  The sled had poop all over it, so I told Jestine she could have it.  I hope you don’t mind.

Me:  Nope.  She can have the sled.

So, then I was happy for awhile, thinking we had done right by Darla/Darcy, but then Jestine called to deliver the bad news.

The vet was thinking she had some sort of spinal cord injury and said she needed to be put down.  And so, Darla/Darcy traveled back to our house, alive, so that David could put her down in the morning.

Saturday Morning.

On Saturday morning, David, Kate, and I were set to travel 2 hours to meet up with her new boyfriend and his family.

Since she was nervous, I decided it was well within reason to embarrass her, so I sent a text to the boyfriend’s mom that read:

We are running a bit late because David had to put a heifer down unexpectedly this morning.

Kate:  ohmygosh, Mom.  You are sooo weird.

Me:  I know.

Yes, putting Darla/Darcy down was a huge bummer.  I am glad I am not David.  There is no way I could go out there and put her down and bury her.

Me:  David!  Did you even feel bad when you had to shoot her?

David:  Yes, Taylor!  Of course I felt bad!  I always feel bad.

So that was that.  We tried to help her.  We couldn’t help her.  The End.

As luck would have it, the journey to meet up with the new boyfriend included two mountain passes and also our first winter snow storm.  So the drive was a bit much.  But, David successfully maneuvered the car in such a way as to keep it on the road at all times, because he is The Man.

It was nice to visit with Kate when we were not paralyzed with fear in the blizzard.

Kate:  Mom?  Who is the Mexican person on dad’s phone?

Me:  Huh?

Kate:  Dad has a picture on his phone?

So then I laughed and laughed because David has this picture as his wallpaper:

It is me.  With my face in a cutout.

So.  We met the family, and they were kind, and then Kate forgot to give them the muffins.

***

Let’s talk about going on a trip with David.  Before we begin, you must understand that David wanted to go to Mexico.  We were going on a trip with my parents, and they were nervous about travelling outside of the US during this pandemic.  They were ok with us going to Mexico, but David INSISTED we join them for California.

It is truly important that you, Reader, understand that he INSISTED.

On Sunday, I started to get the house in order for our trip.  We were having a HOUSE SITTER for the first time ever and that was making me look at my house with fresh, horrified eyes, so I was trying to clean ALL THE THINGS.

I try to just let David be.  He is always outside welding and building gates and shooting animals and doesn’t really have time to wipe baseboards.

Another thing you must understand is that we have lived in our house for over 11 years and our propane fireplace has never functioned.

Do you see the fireplace?  Behind the dog who isn’t supposed to sleep on the furniture?

Anyways.  I have been pleading with David for about two years to do something about that fireplace.  Because, seriously.  What is the point of it?

David:  Sorry.  Can’t do anything about it.

And this was his story for two years.

But on Sunday, the day I was trying to get my house in order, David came inside and started ripping apart and pulling things off and tearing into the fireplace.

And.

He got it working.

?

Monday.

Monday was my day to completely finish detailing the house and pack and get the house and the people ready for the NOT MEXICO vacation.  Hadley is my best helper and David has the audacity to call and ask her to meet him in town with my car and utility trailer.  And I was so stressed I didn’t even ask him what he was doing on the night before our vacation.

And that, Reader, was a mistake.

Apparently while I was feeling stressed about the house sitter lady judging the state of my silverware drawer, David was worried about the size of his calf water trough.  So he bought a small swimming pool sized trough for $500 and brought it home.

And, Reader.

It took a lot of water to fill up that trough.  And longtime readers might remember that when we run our water for a long time, we get to the bottom of the well.  And then our water turns orange.

So.

All of my hard work of bleaching and cleaning every sink, shower, tub, and toilet was all for naught and now the lady will hopefully be impressed with my organized silverware drawer and not notice my orange toilets.

****

David wore his cowboy boots with cow poop on them to Los Angeles, California.

***

David keeps pulling my mask off my nose and then scolding me for not wearing my mask correctly.

***

When we were getting our rental car, the rental car dude asked David what brought him to Los Angeles?

David:  Honestly I have no idea.  I am just here.  I don’t want to be.

But, remember.

HE INSISTED.

***

And lastly but not leastly, let’s talk about going on a trip with Hadley.

Me:  Hadley, you need to bring your driver’s license.

Hadley:  Got it.

Me:  I am serious.

Hadley:  Got it.

Well, I know my kid.  So I secretly packed all the passports.  Because I am a 40 year old responsible Mom.

We start driving to the airport.

Hadley:  WAIT!  I forgot my driver’s license.

David:  Do I need to turn around?

Me (like a hero):  Nope.

And that is all I have to say for today.