The Lumberjack's Wife

Kate:  Mom!  How many cows do we have?

Me:  45-50 or so?

Kate:  Are you serious?  It is like we have a FARM, Mom!

HD:  Mom?  Is she for real?

I don’t know, Son.  I just don’t know.

The other day, Hazel got her head stuck in a cattle panel.  HD and I went out to investigate, and we could not get her head back through.

HD tried a couple of different wire cutters, but the wire was too thick for us to cut.  Finally, he went to get the Sawzall.  I tried to push Hazel’s head completely over to one side while he sawed the other side of the wire.  As soon as he started, she was moving her head all about and I made him stop.

I decided we should regroup and think this through first.  I had LD go and get her a bottle with just water and I went around the other side of the panel to feed her.  The water filled her with joy and life.  I  passed the bottle through the panel to HD and she just pulled her head right on out!  Easy peasy.  I am like the whisperer of calves.

Norman the dog knows when I am going to water the plants on my deck.  He waits by the door to attack the light.  Like so:

Poor dog.  Slowly going insane.

I had knee surgery number 8 this week.

It has been, by far, the easiest recovery I have ever had.  I didn’t need crutches and have been able to bear weight the entire time.  I give it two thumbs up!

David brought me home and got me all set up and then had to get some work done.  While he was away, the air conditioner stopped working.

Reader.  Let me tell you something.

I am a pretty easy going gal and I am definitely not too high maintenance for my poor husband, but here is one thing I do know:

Teller does not like to be hot.

My knee was wrapped in like 20 feet of thick cotton and then some ace bandages and it was so thickly wrapped, I couldn’t even feel the cooling relief of the ice packs.  I was instructed to not take the wrapping off for three days, but I was dying, man.

David:  Did you take the bandages off?

Me:  Yes!  I had to! I was dying!

David (eyebrows shooting off of his head):  BUT YOU WEREN’T SUPPOSED TO.

Anyways.  David, who is not an air conditioning repair man, worked for many hours and finally, he got the air conditioning working again.

*My hero*

The poor guy.  He was like, “Sorry, it is not working,”, and I was like, “Sorry, I am hot, fussy and 40 and I cannot live like this.”

So, he fixed it.  He is a nice boy.  I will keep him.  I really appreciated it.  I was absolutely miserable until he fixed it.

Hadley is currently “babysitting” me.  She painted my fingernails and arranged for Lily to bring me my favorite coffee stand treat:  Big Train Vanilla Chai Tea Hot with Nonfat Milk.

The night before surgery, I was pleading with the four children about watering my flowers.  I am very concerned that my flowers will die as a result of my bed-ridden-ness.

LD:  So, are you, like, dying?

Me:  No.  I just want you to water flowers.

LD:  But, are you dying?

Me:  No!

LD:  Ok, then.

And that is all I have to say for now.

Almost two years ago, HD purchased an iPhone off of Ebay with his own money.  We were not yet willing to pay for phone service yet, but he would be able to connect to WIFI and use the phone that way.

A couple of weeks ago, David and I agreed that we would allow him to get phone service on his very pricey iPhone.  I think it is an iPhone X something, and apparently, that means something to people.

I took him to Verizon, and this location was uber-Covid-cautious and asked us to wait in our car and they would text us when they were willing to permit us entrance.

Yet.  They never texted us.

Rude.

I drove the boy to another location.  This location was not Covid-cautious, and we were able to walk right in and be helped.  They begin to activate HD’s phone, and then they regrett to inform me that his phone is “locked,” and cannot be used.

Me:  What does that mean, exactly?

Verizon Dude:  It means it is for another carrier.  Like Sprint or T-Mobile, but I cannot tell you which one.

Me:  Excellent.

Verizon Dude proceeds to tell HD about a promotion they are running and if he opens a new line, he can get a smart phone for ten whole dollars!

HD:  No.  I want an iPhone.

I decide to be a sacrificial mother.

Me:  Ok.  You can have my iPhone and I will transfer the $10 Android to my line.

HD:  I do NOT want your iPhone.

Me:  What?  Why not?  It is hip!

LD:  Mom.  Your iPhone is a “boomer” iphone.  Or a “Karen” iPhone.  Sorry.

So we wasted Verizon Dude’s time and walked out without doing anything.  Later, we got home and looked up the old eBay ad and the seller had said it was unlocked and for Verizon.  So, I agree to email the seller for HD, because I am nice.  Even though it has been almost two years since he purchased the thing.

Kate comes home and I start to relay the story to her.  I then tell her about the boys mocking my iPhone, expecting to get a sympathetic chuckle, or eye roll at least, yet she says, “Sorry, Mom.  Your iPhone is definitely not cool.”

Me:  But why?  Look at it from over there.  From way over there, can you tell it is the “uncool” iPhone?

Kate:  Oh, yeah.

Me:  How?

Kate:  It has a “home” button.  Those are so uncool.

And where did David and I get to the point in our parenting lives where our kids can spend more money on phones than we can and we are the peoples with actual careers?

Ebay gal emails back to say that she herself used the phone on Verizon and she has no idea why Verizon dude would say such a thing.

So I agree to take HD to a third Verizon location.  Apparently we were hopeful that First Verizon Dude was just incompetent and a new Verizon dude would solve all of our problems.

This location has a wait list and no bathroom, and I have had four kids and just commuted all the way into town.  So we put our names on the list and walked next door to Starbucks so I could use the bathroom.  And the dudes talked me into buying them Frappucinos, and I bought the smallest size and they were like $5 each!?  It’s a mad, mad world, Friends.

We waited almost an hour and then we talked to a New Verizon Dude.  New Verizon Dude was younger and hipper, and also much friendlier than the original Verizon Dude.  He looked into it a bit further to let us know that the phone is locked BY Verizon, probably because the gal who sold it to us didn’t pay her bill and there is absolutely nothing to be done.  The phone cannot be used.

HD still firmly believes that the $10 phone, or my boomer phone, are against his religion, so we leave.  He talks me into emailing Ebay gal again, and I was like, dude, it has been two years, she got you, there’s nothing we can do.  And she didn’t reply and he accepted his fate and bought ANOTHER iPhone off of the eBay.

He has been tracking the shipping of this iPhone, and all along, it has said that it would arrive on July 27th, which is this very day, Reader.  We had to go to town, but HD did not want to go until the phone arrived so we could activate it.  Which is understandable.  According to the tracking information, USPS would be delivering it today.

This is where things are going to get dicey, Reader.  I suggest you grab a cup of coffee, because this is going to be a wild ride.

Me:  We need to go.

HD:  No!  I want to wait for my phone!

Me:  It is not coming today.

HD:  It says it will!

Me:  It is not.  The mail already came and the phone didn’t come with it.

HD:  But UPS delivers in the afternoon.

Me:  I know but this is USPS.

HD:  But they still might come.  I have seen UPS come late!

Me:  No.  IT is not UPS.  It is U-SSSSSSSSSSSS-PS.

HD:  I have also seen FedEx come late in the afternoon.

Me:  Look!  It says USPS.  That stands for United States Postal Service.  That is the mail.

HD:  But it still might come.

Me:  No.  The mail came.  The phone did not.

HD:  Well maybe UPS grabbed it instead?

Me:  It does not work like that.

LD:  Did you know that in England they call the mail, “post?”

Me:  Yeah.  That’s why we say things like “Post office” or US Postal Service.

LD *mind blown*

HD:  Can you call the USPS and ask them if we can pick it up?

Me:  Fine.

I call and I put it in speaker phone.  I talk to a robot.  She is pretty friendly for a robot.  We enter the tracking information and she tells us she is sorry but our package will arrive later than usual and is in transit.

Me:  See?  Not going to happen today.

HD:  Call again and just tell them we will grab it.

Me:  I don’t know where it is.  It is in transit.

HD:  Just tell them we can take it from here!

Me:  This is not how things work.

HD:  Well, maybe UPS grabbed it!  Or FedEx!  And it will still come.

Me:  *face palm*

So, HD is annoyed at me because I failed him.  And rightfully so.  You can see how I purposely went out of my way to squash all his hopes and dreams.

We drove to town and I decide to ask LD more about iPhones.

Me:  What kind of an iPhone do I have?

LD:  An iPhone SE.

Me:  And what on earth is wrong with that?

LD:  You have an iPhone 7, but they just gave it a different name.

And so now I will spend the rest of my days trying to understand why MY phone, which takes nice pictures, makes phone calls, sends texts, and is able to stream things like Netflix, is such an inferior phone.

And then I had to take them to Costco and I offered to buy then each one slice of pizza and they somehow talked me into letting them share an entire pizza and they sat at the food court and ate the whole thing while I pushed around a shopping cart and filled it to the brim with food that I hope will satisfy them for at least three days and I ran into a friend and she commented on how full my cart was and that is just embarassing and HD still doesn’t have phone service.

The End.

I bought the boys some acne face wash and instructed them they had to use it.  In order to get them to use it, I have to buy face wash that comes in man-friendly colors.

LD comes out of the shower.

LD:  Mom.  That face soap?  Woah.

Me:  Oh, yeah?

LD:  Yeah.  You know how when you get a brand new piece of, like, Extra spearmint gum?  And you put it in your mouth and it is really strong and your whole mouth is tingly?

Me:  Yeah?

LD:  That’s what the face soap feels like.  On my face.

Me:  Hmmm.  Well, that’s how you know it is working.

LD:  Got it.

***

David will literally not stop getting hay.  And I find this to be quite ironic because he also won’t stop talking about how this is such a bad year for hay.  But he is never here, and every time I look outside, there are more hay bales all about.

And then there are two more just thrown about by the garden?

Apparently, he is buying a lot of last year’s hay?  Which is not good in the category of nutrition?  So he is also buying other things to supplement?

I don’t know.  All I know is he is not here and I am spending a lot of time with the boys.

A Lot.

And I would like you all to know that LD found it supes important to ask me this question as we were walking into church.

LD:  Mom?  Do some boys go through poooooooberty when they are 20 years old?

?

Hazel has a bump on her head.  I consulted a farm and ranch friend and she suggested it was something called a “warble?”  And I liked that answer better than “a terminal cancerous tumor.”

She thinks I need to pop it, like a zit?

I know.

More disgusting, this could not be.  I have decided this shall be a husband/wife activity, yet I cannot pop the warble with my husband because, and you had better sit down for this, he is getting hay.

Because there is a giant hay shortage, and he cannot find any hay, yet he is always getting hay.

The boys have created a new activity for themselves on this here farm.

It is called:  Fill a “clean” stock tank with water, sit in it, and throw golf  balls into red buckets and drive the dogs insane.

I am ok with it because it gets them , and the dogs, out of the house.

Norman, who is HD’s dog, learned how to swim this weekend, yet I did not get any photographic evidence.  So you will just have to take my word for it.  Niko and Charlie are still learning.  Hadley was trying to teach Charlie how to swim, but it was all too much for her, bless her heart.  Then Hadley lifted her out of the water and Charlie’s leg’s continued to “air swim” and we are just not sure she was meant for the water.

Norman is becoming a bit more attached to HD, which rocks HD’s world.  HD was climbing a ladder, and Norman went up after him.

My cute niece was helping get him down.

We like our dogs.

Yes, we do.

I am reading “These is My Words” yet again.  A reader recommended that book to me and I just love it.  It makes me happy.  I really like when the main character says things like,

“I was purely addled.”

And then I like to say things like,

“When LD asks me about 20 year olds going into puberty, I feel purely addled.”

I am getting excited to get back into the classroom.  I am still wondering if I will teach kinder or 2nd.  Either one is fine, but I am kind of hoping for kinderbabies.

Happy Sunday!

We went to the river this weekend and brought along Hadley’s boyfriend, Kason.  Kason is all about fishing, therefore, Hadley is now all about fishing.

First-let’s look at this photo from probably about 2005.

I have probably shared this before?  I don’t know.  Anyways.  Hadley is on the left, then David, then Kate.

Kate had caught her first fish and when they got home, she heard David tell me to get a camera.  She screamed, “WAIT!” and ran upstairs and changed into her favorite Cinderelle dress.  She was very dirty and it was hilarious and one of my favorite pictures.

So, we got to camp, and right away Hadley and Kason had to go fishing.

The next day, we went floating and more fishing happened.

Hadley caught a trout that she had to release, but they wanted a picture first.

Then the fishie decided to release himself.

LD caught a fish and David caught a fish, but HD had not yet caught a fish.  So, LD, being the loving  brother that he is, decided to taunt HD about his lack of fishing skills.  Right when HD caught his first fish of the day.

HD is on the left, LD the right.  I guess HD makes LD take his fish off the line for him?  Not sure what that is all about?  All of the fish were thrown back.

Anyways.  It was fun and a relaxing break for David, as he is deep in the throes of hay gathering.

Check out this video of Charlie trying to swim-

We have discussed it and have decided that Charlie is not aware that she can use her back legs when swimming.

Happy Sunday!

Saturday was cow butchering day, and every cow butchering day makes me think that is it the Lord’s will for me to become a vegetarian.

On the Friday night before, David and a couple of kids were doing some sorting to make sure things would go smoothly the next morning. The cow to be butchered was put in a pen nearer the bull, yet not with the bull.

Whenever the bull is around his *ahem*, lady friends, he acts all sorts of ridiculous. He truly should be embarrassed.  It’s almost as if he is yodeling of his love to them.  And I wonder if it impresses the old gals? They certainly don’t look enchanted. He was acting in such a way and that prompted one of my children to say this sentence to David:

Child:  Dad?  Is that cow hot?

David:  Huh?

Child:  The cow.  We are about to butcher.  Is she hot?

David:  I don’t understand.

Child:  You know.  Does the bull want to . . .

David:  Oh!  You mean is she in “heat?”

Child:  Yeah.  Same thing.

Anywho.  Doomed cow was what we in the biz like to call, “open,” which means she was not with child.  Which is exactly how I want her to be on the eve of cow butchering day.

Then it was the  butchering time and I had to avoid looking out any window and listen to the dogs bark/howl because they knew David was being way more fun outside than I was being inside.  I tend do a lot of dusting and laundry.  Very lame.

Because of the hot-high-heat, David wanted to skedaddle on to town to get the cow to her final resting place and didn’t have time to adequately clean up the place.

So this is what Norman looked like all morning.

Please be jealous of my life.

David came home and tidied up but left bloody paw prints on the porch and I was all no-nonsense-y and INSISTED they get cleaned up before we went to the river.

And they did.  And to the river we went.

It is all we ever do now.  Go to the river and kayak on the river.  In the hot-hot-sun.

Kate fancied taking Niko with her.

Niko enjoyed his float for exactly 2 minutes and 37 seconds.  He then cried the rest of the time.

We don’t have cell service while camping, and this has never happened before, but while we were on the river some texts came through on my phone.

?

And one was from a neighbor letting me know that some of my cows were out.

!

So we hustled and bustled and started for home and as soon as we got into service, David’s phone literally blew up with 17 text messages and 4 voicemails regarding our cows and their grand adventure.

Reader.

Our ENTIRE herd had gotten out.  The ENTIRE herd.  And our neighbors worked tirelessly to gather and corral and herd them back for us.  While we were sitting in kayaks on a river, oblivious.

We came home, embarassed and grateful, to cows behind our fence and many, MANY, many cow patties in our driveway.

Me:  Well.  Now that I know a bunch of neighbors were here, I am surely glad you washed off the bloody paw prints off of our porch.

Everyone was hot and tired and fussy.  Our utility trailer had a blow out and it doesn’t even phase us anymore.  David and HD set to trying to repair the gate that had loosed and released the ENTIRE herd.  I went out with a notebook to take cow inventory to see if I could figure out if anyone was missing.  And I checked and consulted with records and am happy to report that I am 92% sure we have everyone.  Then I made Tater Tot Taco Salad and all was ok again.

You may say:  Taylor!  What is this Tater Tot Taco Salad you speak of?

Well.  A long time ago, when I was a newly wed, I used to read Taste of Home magazines.  We were poor and I was a terrible cook and we didn’t have four ravenous children, such as we do now.

I used to love reading the entries in the Taste of Home magazine.  They would highlight a recipe and include a delightful anectdote from someone named Ethel in Kentucky.

“Every time I make this hamburger casserole, my  husband and boys ask for seconds.  Sometimes thirds!”

“My homemade lasagna is all the talk at the church potluck.  I always make sure to have copies of the recipe on hand to pass out!”

And I would sit and stare at this magazine and wonder what it would be like to be so confident in my meals that I would intentionally bring recipe cards assuming all the peoples would want to cook just like me.  And what would it be like to be a wife and mother so cherished that her hamburger casserole was taken two or three times by her loved ones?

One day, I came across a recipe from some lovely gal named Eleanor, entitled “Tater Tot Taco Salad.”  And I made it and it was loved, but I will never, ever, bring to a potluck with recipe cards.  Because that seems presumptuous.

Because it has been so hot, the cows are all fighting over the water trough and the little ones don’t always get water when they want it.  The mama cows are totes selfish and will drink water first and not care if a little baby wants a sip.  The babies are all still nursing, so I am thinking they are still getting enough fluids.

But not my Hazel.

So, now I give her a water bottle or a bottle of water with a small amount of milk powder in it.  And I am happy to report that she absolutely loves me again and tried to nurse from my shorts.

So all is happy in my world.

And in case you were wondering about cow inventory:

1 (yodeling) bull

24 cows

19 calves

1 steer for meat (sad)

And lastly, but not leastly, here is a cute picture of Maisy’s calf.

Her tail looks like that because she was passing gas.

Happy Tuesday!

For the 4th, we went to the river.  As we are wont to do.

We went on a total of three kayaking trips.  Two were during the day, in the hot-hot sun.  (With ample sunscreen, of course)

This is one of my cute nieces, followed by LD, who was looking like Mr. River himself, with his new sunglasses and all.

And look!  I saw a family of ducks.

Nature.

We decided to go on a night float, complete with glow sticks and everything.

I call it, “Glow-Riding.”  Because I can.

We became aware that my mother in law shall not ever be allowed to kayak on the river in the darkness alone, for she does not know where she is going at all.

MIL-Are we going the right way?!?

Kate-Well, we are going with the river.

MIL-But is this right?

All of us-yes.

Out of nowhere, MIL takes a hard left turn and heads for the river bank.

Me-You are no longer going the right way!

MIL- Yes!  This feels wrong.

We were pelted constantly in the face by mosquitos and had bats flying overhead.

But we surely enjoyed it.

Poor not-so-normal Norman spent the entire weekend trying to murder all the shadows while the other dogs swam and rested.

I am concerned for his sanity.

Our three dogs are very timid around the water, but my nieces’ dog, Walter, is a pro-champion swimmer.  At one point, the kids had thrown their football into the river and all our dogs were acting like damsels in distress, and then Walter took charge and showed them what’s what.’

My niece made me my favorite birthday dessert, and that made turning 40 that much sweeter.

Kate got in some snuggle time with her cute puppy, Niko.

She has recently made some changes to her after high school plans and is now going away to college-about 8 hours away from home.  She leaves in about a month.

We finally got Hadley back.  She has been traipsing across the continental US with Lily and family, visiting national parks and hiking and such.

(Hadley is on the left, Lily on the right)

And tomorrow marks 21 years that David and I have been married.

Twenty.

One.

Happy Wednesday!

Did you know that you can get sunburned so badly that your skin will bubble?

Until this week, I had no idea.  I have been trying to go to the river to water the new grass seed we planted, but it has been so very painful and we are in triple digit heat.  I went Monday and Tuesday, then came home on Tuesday with literal bubbles on my skin.

And David was like, “Dude.  You should probably not go anymore.”

So I am not.

It really hurts and I do not care for it.

I mean.  Look at it.

There are no water droplets on my skin,  That is all bubbles and such.  It is making me feel fussy.

I did not go outside at all on Wednesday to try and heal up.

Today, I decided to take cow inventory, and it is surely a good thing that I did because I found this little newbie-

And that was exciting and fun.  But then my skin started to sizzle and pop again, so I had to go back inside.

We are having a heat wave, People.  We are in the triple digits, and we no likey.  We can handle frigid temps, such as 12, but this 104 business is insane.

I believe that little one is the 17th calf born on our lands in the 2021.

David likes to give the boys super manly chores, and usually that is A-Ok, but today’s chore for LD was stressing me out.

He was supposed to be building a “cattle mineral feeder” and DO NOT ask me anything about it because I simply do not know.  But I do know that LD came in bleeding because he cut himself and he was trying to use my new guest hand towel and I was like,

“Stop!  Not my hand towel!”

And I got him a clean sock and we rushed to the clinic for four stitches on his thumb.

This is how I feel when David gives the boys these sorts of chores.

So we get to the clinic and the doctor was like, “Any plans for the 4th?” and LD was like, “Camping at the river” and the doctor was like, “Well you need to be very cautious around river water and not get your stitches wet,” and LD was like, “Oh, great!  So does that mean I don’t need to take a shower?” and I was like, *face palm*, and the doctor was like, “No, Son.  At your age you need a shower at least once a day.”

So that was special.

Alright.  Me and my bubbly skin are making the fam a meatloaf.  I find meatloaf to be a mediocre meal, at best.

And I need dinner ideas because I am sick and tired of coming up with ideas to feed these ravenous teens.

Have a favorite recipe or three to share?

Share away.

Our dogs probably hate camping.  At home, they run all about and are never leashed.  But we have closer neighbors while camping, so they must be contained.

Since they do not have the freedoms they are accustomed to, they must sit and watch David and I as we drink our morning cup of coffee . . . in the trailer that is nicer than our house.

Yes.  We went to the river this weekend.  Usually we go with many different family members, but this time, it was just David, the boys, Kate, and I.

Hadley is off roaming the continental US with her pal, Lily, and family.

Our family:  Lily can come over, but she needs to help us castrate calves.

Lily’s family:  Would Hadley like to join us on a huge family road trip complete with fun and merriment?

Here’s Hadley-

And Hadley and Lily, somewhere beautiful and all nature like and far away from us-

But anyways.  We went to the river.  David, who cannot ever travel lightly, insisted on taking one vehicle plus:  the skidsteer, two fourwheelers, three kids, three dogs, camping food, water jugs, and bags of clothes.

I felt like we should take two cars, because I get fussy when I feel crowded.  And at one point I told LD to get his sticky leg off of my sticky leg and then he told me he was tanner than me when he clearly was not.  We are experiencing record hot high temps over here, and David’s truck does not have working AC.  Woe unto me.

It was a pleasant ride.

Norman the puppy is completely obsessed with light and shadow and I fear that he might slowly be losing his mind.

He will literally jump up and try to eat the roof  (ceiling?) of David’s truck.  David loves it.

We got to the river and it was so way hot, but as soon as the sun goes down, being outside feels awesome.  So we sat and ate smores and enjoyed cool of the evening.

It is like over 90 degrees here, people!  That’s insane.

The next morning, we set to work on our projects, and we tried to start early to beat the heat.  David and HD were on some sort of nonsense with the skidsteer.  LD and I were mowing-he was on the riding lawnmower, and I on the push mower.  Kate was using the DR trimmer mower.  I sweated so much that sweat was visible on my shirt and that has never happened before, so I guess that is because I am 40 now.

Then we sprinkled a bunch of grass seed, because we have many bare spots, and HD “planted” them by going over them with the skidsteer tracks.  We then set up the sprinklers and fancied going on an extra long kayak ride.  Which sounded amazing, in theory.

But we forgot to pack sunscreen.  And we aren’t the best when it comes to sunscreen, I shall admit, because we rarely burn.

But, Reader.  We burned.

And we could feel ourselves burning as we kayaked down the river.  But there was nothing to be done but keep paddling and sizzling away.

I felt like we should all paddle with intensity and try to get back to our camp all speedy-like, but Kate was like, nah-imma gonna nap, and so that was annoying.  David and I would get a good lead, look behind us, and see that none of our children were there-and that is just poor parenting.  So we had to stop and wait for them, as our skin smoldered in the hot, hot sun.

At one point, we pulled up and waited by some cows, so that cheered me right up.

Pretty soon, LD comes sauntering down the river, happy as can be.  LD can entertain himself like no one I have ever met.  He kayaked on up to the cows and checked the genders of all four of their calves and called them out to us.  He beached his kayak and went swimming and skipped rocks and basically had the time of his life.

Finally, Kate and HD came down the river.  They were happily chatting away, and that was nice to hear because those two don’t get along very well.

We forged on for home.  Kate and HD continued to travel together, just a bit behind us, and David and I were together, and LD was toodling about happy as can be shouting “FISH!” anytime he saw a fish.

We got back and everyone was terribly sunburned.  This has never happened to our family.  It was so bad that-and you had better sit down for this-

David asked me for lotion.

!

We were in pain and tired and hungry.  I summoned whatever strength I had left and made something for dinner while David and HD took the 4-wheeler for the truck.

Our dogs will not swim, but it was so hot that Niko and Charlie went swimming willingly.

Norman could not join them for he was busy staring down shadows.

After dinner, I announced “Everything hurts and I am dying.  I am going to bed.”

And to bed I went.  Only to be awakened by Kate at some ungodly hour to be informed that LD was missing.

!

And I was so tired, I fell back to sleep while David dealt with it.

!

Turns out, he fancied joining a neighbor’s wedding.  And what fun!  It was probably exciting for him to see neighbors, since we don’t have those at home.

The dude who owns the river lot next to us got married and had a live band and fireworks and it was so loud, but that was ok, and that’s where LD was and all was well.

When we woke up, everyone was in pain and sure they could never see the sun again.  Poor HD helped David with outside chores for about an hour and then came in and got in his swimsuit to jump in the river because he was covered in sweat.

IT. IS. SO. HOT. HERE.

Like 100 degrees now.

Readers.  We can’t.  We literally canNOT. We are made hearty for the winters.  Not lightweight for summer heat.  We come premade with a good layer of blubber.

We are basically in survival mode now.  It hurts to even move.  On account of the sunburn, of course.  And David is making my poor boys go and gather hay bales in Farmer Brown’s field tonight!

In triple degree heat!

My babies!

I hate hay season.  I feel like David goes about it all wrong and if he just LISTENED TO ME, everyone’s lives would be easier.

But he does not.

Ok.  Quick knee surgery is scheduled for July 29th. Should be easy peasy-trim out of torn meniscus. Found out I might be teaching kinder, or I might be teaching 2nd, but I won’t know for some time.  Here is a video of Norman.  Enjoy.