The Lumberjack's Wife

When Kate came home the other day, she lost track of our new puppy, Norman.  We have two new puppies:  Niko and Norman.  They are darling puppy brothers who enjoy pooping under the table. Niko and Norman were both born the same day, but Norman is quite a bit chubbier.

Guess where she found Norman.

In the dog food storage bin.

They are surely cute.

But they poop SO MUCH.  It is incredulous and almost like they are playing a prank on me.

***

We are still working out what do do about Hadley’s wrecked car.  I called and talked to the dudes at the body shop today.

Not good news for the car.  Like, it is totaled.

But they were shocked that Hadley herself was not hurt at all.  They said that was actually pretty amazing.  So, that is something to be thankful about.

***

For reasons unbeknownst to me, the powers that be at the basketball gym allowed TEN spectators for HD’s basketball game.  And LD and I were lucky enough to receive two coveted spots.

And now, I would like to brag about my baby boy who now plays with high schoolers, even though he is only in 8th grade:

It is all very exciting.

***

The kids and I had our annual Christmas cookie decorating party.

We have done this for years.  Someday I should try to find all the pictures and post them together.

Today is not that day.

***

The boys and I went to mother’s house today.  Mother was making Christmas cookies with her sister, Aunt Candi.  Uncle Harry was there as well.

I know.  It’s ok.  Just pretend like you know all those people.  It’s fine.

The boys did not help make cookies.  They ate cookies, played basketball, ate cookies, and watched tv.  They also helped sample a few cookies.

Also, we compared Mother and LD’s height.

And can we not all agree that is ridiculous?  Yes?

Mother and Aunt Candi were having a grand time baking cookies.  And you would think that they were making cookies for 472 people.  There were a lot of cookies.

Brother Danny has gotten mother an Alexa.  Because he thinks he is funny.

Mother likes to use Alexa to help her bake cookies.  And, oh the joy it brings her.

Mom:  Taylor.  I used to get confused with which timer was for what.  Using Alexa to help with timers is life-changing.

So.  Mom is baking up a storm.  And so is Aunt Candi.  And mom has also invited Alexa to the party, because Mom was talking to Alexa more than she spoke to anyone else.  And when I say she spoke to Alexa, of course I mean she shouted.

ALEXA.  PLAY CHRISTMAS MUSIC.

ALEXA.  START A TIMER FOR CHOCOLATE MINT COOKIES.

ALEXA. TURN DOWN THE CHRISTMAS MUSIC.

ALEXA.  START A TIMER FOR PEANUT BUTTER COOKIES.

ALEXA.  STOP THE TIMER FOR CHOCOLATE MINT COOKIES.

ALEXA.  TURN THE MUSIC UP.

Me:  Mom.  Can you try and talk to Alexa in a normal voice?

Mom:  It doesn’t work like that.

Meanwhile, Aunt Candi politely asks Alexa to start timers in her normal indoor voice, and shockingly, Alexa can hear her.

My head is still pounding.

But I did get to eat three cookies and did not have to bake anything.

ALEXA.  SAY THANK YOU TO MA AND AUNT CANDI.

One of the secretaries of the school I used to work at is retiring, so me and a few other online school pals stopped by to wish her glad tidings.

Friends.

I didn’t realize how much I missed the school community.

Students remembered me!  And shouted my name!  And I was wearing a mask!  But they knew who I was!

I miss them all so much.  And all my teacher friends-don’t get me started.  It was hard and lovely all at the same time.

Teaching.  Hard job.  But so special.

Sometimes when I am teaching my online students, I get completely hit with the reality of our life today.  A year ago, I would have never fathomed the world as it is today. And do you ever stop and really think about how different life is?

I am happy to report that I love my online students as much as I have ever loved in person students.  I am also happy to report that it appears they feel the same way:

As evidenced by this student’s math lesson submission.

I couldn’t really grade her understanding of our math unit, but she definitely scored some points.

***

Kate is finished with her first semester of her senior year.

And she came home and took a nap.

With Niko, Rio, and Charlie happy to see her home.  She will be 18 soon.

I shall have this day for mourning.

Also.  Rio really likes the Christmas tree.

Which is a bummer, yet also cute.

My heart is sad tonight, Reader.  I am not sure why.  I think I feel old.  And blessed.  And amazed at how many twists and turns life has brought me.

When Kate was a newborn, I talked David into getting her pictures taken at Sears.

This is how old I am.

We were flat broke.  And we splurged on newborn pictures.  I remember when we were taking them, I felt like they were not very good.  I cried and called my mom.  I told her I wasted money on pictures and they weren’t even going to be good.  She told me they would probably be lovely and it was going to be ok.

And compared to pictures of today, they probably aren’t that great.

But I love this picture.

And my heart hurts to think of the time that has passed.   And how hard it was to pay for those pictures.  And how much they now mean to me.

And I hope I have done a good job.

On Saturday, David told me another calf was born.

Me:  From a cow you bought at auction a couple of weeks ago?

David:  Yes.

Me:  So all three of those bred cows who were supposed to calve in February have now calved?

David:  Yes.

Which begs the question:  Who is doing the pregnancy checks at this auction, I ask you?

So, we have Babs’s calf and three new auction calves.  Babs’s calf and one of the auction calves have tags in their ears.

Yes!  Tags!

It is a new service we just added here at Maliblahblah Farms.

We don’t yet have a squeeze chute set up, so we cannot tag our cows.  We can only tag newborn calves because we weigh more than them for about 10 minutes.

Anyways.  I take Charlie on walks to check the cows daily, and I always check on the calves.  I am supposed to find two tagged calves and two untagged calves.  The hope is to find them alive and healthy.  And everyday, I would only find two tagged calves and one untagged calf.  So, I believed in my heart of hearts that David was just confused and one of the auction cows did not yet calve.

What is the point of this?  Is anyone still reading?  I do have a point.

I found the elusive newborn on Monday.  And here is photographic proof:

And I was very thorough with my investigation and also took photos of the other three calves so I could be sure I truly had four calves on my hands.  It was a very successful lunch break walk for Charlie and I.

Yes.  I walk and take bovine inventory on my lunch break.  What do you do?

I LOVE teaching from home.  I am home alone, surrounded by a plethora of animals.  And between communicating with animals and with my precious first graders, I am sure I speak more words in one hour while being “home alone” then David speaks in an entire day out in society.  I do not get to teach from home everyday, which is a bummer and a half.  But I entertain myself quite nicely and enjoy the house being clean and staying clean and it is all quite pleasant.

Yesterday, we got a lot of snow, and I found this little calf to be quite clever.

All other cows looked quite miserable, chewing their cud while snow dumped all over them.  This dude was living his best life, keeping dry and cozy under the massive girth of his mother.

Speaking of girth . . .

Norman, one of the new puppies is a chubster.  He really likes to eat and sometimes his belly gets in the way when he is trying to do everyday tasks.  Like walking.

Me:  Well, I am going to have to bring Norman with me to the beach from now on.  He will make me feel a lot better about my swimsuit body.

LD laughed a bit too hard at that joke, Friends.  It made my feelers sad.

Norman and Niko, the new puppy brothers, are very cute and sweet and healing our hearts from our losses of Tank and Abbie.  Charlie is being a good big sister dog and all is well so far.

On days that I am home, I can take them outside for little 10 minute walk breaks.

Niko is in the front and Norman is in the back.  They come in, exhausted, which is good, because I need to teach first graders.

They go in the kennel and nap while I teach.

And then I let them out and they wreak havoc on our entire house.  And we love them.

New Family sends many happy updates on Abbie.  It is such a blessing and so nice to know she is loved and doing well.

I have had numerous good reports and only two not-so-good reports.  One not-so-good was that she chased her cats, which the cats found to be unimpressive.  I found that to be hilarious as she lived in our house through the year of 16 kittens and never seemed to even notice the felines existed in our house.

The next not-so-good report was that she jumped up and tried to eat food off the table.

For shame, Abbie!  She never tried that at our house.  That I know of.

So those were the two not-so-good reports.  Everything else has been wonderful.  She exercises with their teen girls.  She goes on walks.  She lets all the kids pet her and love on her.  She tries to socialize with the neighbor goats, but they are not interested in meeting her aquaintance.

New family is a big family with 8 kids, and Abbie is their first dog.  I was told by New Family Mom that one of her children said this the other day,

“You know how sometimes we feel like we are missing someone, even though we are all here?  I think we were missing the dog.”

LD has always had trouble staying “on task.”  David needed the boys help outside, so the three manly men were out working for awhile.  And then I saw this out the window . . .

LD and Charlie leaping across haybales.

Auntie Datenut says they look like giant pieces Frosted Shredded Wheat cereal.

I agree.

Charlie has been doing so much better around cows lately.  Before, she would go after them and try to “herd” them.  It used to bug her if they were near the house, so she would go and chase them all into the back 40 and then come back to us, extremely proud of herself.

It was nice that she was proud of herself.  But it drove us nuts and caused anger amongst the moody cows.

Now, she walks with me and listens and does not go after them.

Let the records show:  the cows still hate her somethig fierce.  But they are learning to live together in peace and harmony.

Me:  David, I feel like Matilda has been limping lately.

David:  Yup.  I have been meaning to tell you.  It’s not good.

Me:  Oh, shoot.

Few minutes later . . .

Me:  YOU ARE NOT KILLING MATILDA.

David:  I didn’t say I was.  I just said it wasn’t good.

Sheesh.  My heart cannot take any more animal sadness.  I could go back and count all the creatures who have sadly passed from our lives this year, but that would be so depressing.

2020.  It’s been a bummer.

Matilda has been laying down in the same spot often.  And I don’t know how to fix a limping cow.  I feel like instead of a teacher, I should have become a veterinarean.  Is it too late to switch careers?

***

Well.  Yesterday we came home with these two:

Meet Norman and Niko.

Norman is HD’s Christmas present and Niko is Kate’s.

They are brothers and they are the quite sweet.  Norman is a solid guy.  He feels about five pounds heavier than Niko.

Yesterday, we fed him for the first time and he literally went hog wild.  And he actually makes piglet grunting noises.  And we know what piglet grunting noises sound like.  Because 2020 brought us 350 piglets.  But that is neither here nor there.

I was in charge of holding Norman and keeping him entertained so his much slimmer brother, Niko, could get a few bites in.

This was a challenge.

Here’s what we know:  Norman loves food.

Norman lept out of my arms and ran over to “help” Niko eat.

Charlie is doing well being a big sister.  The boy pups are good at eliminating their bladders outside instead of on the carpet.

So far, so good.

Yes, hello.  I am hiding out in the house with a very anxious pup and avoiding looking out all windows.

Why?

It is steer butchering day.

I am used to pig butchering day, and all the horror and pig screaming that entails.  But steer butchering day is macabre on a whole other level.

The blood shed.  The graphic scenes.  The machinery needed to hoist.  The size of the gut pile.

For just one animal.

Makes me want to be a vegetarian.

The other day, a friend reached out asking if anyone could hook her up with some organs for her science class.  And I was like, “Well, Yes, I can, because steer butchering day is Saturday”.  And I wonder if I am the envy of anyone, to have access to such perks as disposable organs?

So David is helping advance this gal’s pupils’ education and tossing the lungs and the heart into a bucket and meeting up with them later this very afternoon.

It is disgusting and kind of him.

And I wonder what it would look like if he got pulled over transporting a bucket of organs?  Would that be hard to explain to an officer?  Would David be viewed as “shady”?

I know not.

***

The other night, Kate came home on cloud nine.  She is planning on becoming a Nurse Practioner and got accepted into a CNA program that will start in January.  She bought her first pair of scrubs and modeled them for us.

“Do I look like a real nurse?  Like actually?  Like if I walked into the room and told you I needed to check your blood pressure would you believe that I was a nurse?”

HD:  No.

LD:  No.

Me:  YES!

She turns 18 in a couple of weeks, if anyone can believe THAT.

***

We still are unable to attend games, but I have to be honest:  I love the blessing that is LIVE STREAMING.  Sisters Meagan and Jess are now like the kids’ biggest fans.

They even have Cheerleader Dogs.

How fun is this?  And we get to live text throughout the game, as well as offer tech support to Ma.  The first game proved unsuccessful for her, as she found herself uber confused and not watching the correct game.

Last night, not only did she find the correct game, but she was able to get it to play on her TV and not just her phone.

Tonight on Maliblahblah live sports, we can watch HD at 4 and Hadley at 7.  Who needs the NBA?  I ask?

***

Last night, I had to drive uber slow because the weather turned treacherous. It is exhausting when you have to drive on bad roads, but even more so when your commute is almost an hour and you are passing by several cars that have gone off the road. When I got home, we told the girls that after their basketball game, they needed to go to my parents house (in town) and not drive home.  Well, I was asleep, because it was like 8:30 AT NIGHT, and Hadley called David.

On her way to my parents house, she went off the road and hit a tree.

David and the boys had to drive in the treachery to go and save the day.  My parents and Kate picked Hadley up and then brought her back when David arrived at the scene.

They were able to get the car to my parents house, but David says it is probably totaled.

I was trying to talk to Hadley on the phone after it happened, just trying to get an idea of what happened.  She was all flustered.

Me:  I am not mad at you.  You are not in trouble.  You didn’t do anything wrong.

Hadley:  OK

Me:  Are you hurt?

Hadley:  No

Me:  Was it scary?

Hadley:  Yeah.  Little bit.

One of the worst things about driving on bad roads is when your car is sliding and there is nothing you can do about it.  It is very scary and it has happened to me before-even while driving carefully.

So, we are dusting off the old Subaru and getting it all set up with snow tires so she can use that for the time being.

***

Charlie the puppy is my new buddy.  She is everyone’s new buddy.  We think she is lonely.

I get to work from home two days a week, which I L-O-V-E.  On my lunch break, Charlie and I go walk and check the cows, like Abbie and I used to.

I am working with her and she is doing much better listening and not chasing the cows.

She still looks like FrankenPup from all of her stitches.  We are going to the vet today to get the stitches removed.

She will probably throw up in the car, because she throws up in the car every time she goes in the car.

Anyone have any suggestions on this?

Please Advise.

Happy Weekend.

I have been subbing for a teammate the past two days at school.  Subbing looks a bit different at eSchool-and it is a lot easier.  My first grade team works very closely with each other and so if one of us needs to be out, their class can just join someone else’s and no need for sub plans.

Did you read that last sentence?  I feel it bears repeating.

NO NEED FOR SUB PLANS.

Anyways.  Taking attendance is tricky.  I am trying to engage/welcome students while marking down who is there.  I did not have a roster for the class I was subbing for, so I had to quickly try and write down everyone’s names.

Let me tell you something about first graders:  they are smarter than you might realize.

And this extra class of kiddos knows how to change their zoom names.  My kids have not figured this out yet.

I fear the new class may have inspired them.

Anyways, it is super fun to try and take attendance when a kiddo renames themself:

“iluvcoco”

Me:  Hello?  iluvcoco?  I do not know who you are?

*giggle, giggle, chuckle, chuckle*

In the morning, we take a 15 minute break.  The kids stop video and mute and this is a time to run around, go potty, eat a snack, you know-do whatever.

Well.  New kids today were unmuting during break time.  I am sure all my regular students were aghast at this behavior.

Anyways, the new kiddos were unmuting and calling out into the zoom world of darkness-

“Hello?  Is that teacher here?  Hello?”

One of my students, who is always as serious as a heart attack, turned on his video and microphone and informed them in all seriousness:

“Her NAME is Mrs. Maliblahblah.”

***

Is it a bummer that I cannot watch my kids games in person?

Yes.

But is it a bummer that I got to watch Hadley’s game in bed, and in pajamas, and then not drive an hour home afterwards?

No.

Let us think about the blessings of this ‘Rona.  Even Sisters Meagan and Jess, who live many hours away, were able to live stream Hadley’s game and watch it with us.

Because they have never been able to watch a game before.

And we live-texted the happenings of the game and I think Hadley had at least 11 points.

***

I think Charlie the puppy is a bit lonely.  Here she is anxiously waiting by the front door when she heard David pull up this evening.

And, yes.  I can say evening is 4:30.  Because it is dark here at 4.  Is it dark where you live at 4, Reader?

It is ridiculous.

David went to an auction today.  He bought a heifer.  If you must know.

***

My students and I listen to this song EVERY morning.

On a scale of 1-10, how annoyed do you think the parents are with me?

Also, I feel like when I “dance”, my belly moves just as the hippo’s belly does.

But that’s neither here nor there.

***

Happy Wednesday

David called for HD tonight.

Me:  Dude, dad wants to talk to you.

HD:  YES!  Am I getting Abbie back?

Sadly, he was not.  He was being asked to do a chore.

Bummer

A list of nice and/or sentimental things.  You know.  Amidst the sadness.

1.  There are a lot of nice people in this world.  We have been to three different vet clinics over the past couple of weeks, and each person we encountered was lovely, kind, helpful, and supportive.  Friends and aquaintances reached out with advice and support in a kind and helpful way.  It was lovely.
2. We found the most bestest family to take Abbie.  They are kind and they send pictures and updates!
3. New family brought us flowers when they came to grab Abbie.  And that is just nice. 
4. LD is so sad.  He would not come out to the car to say goodbye to Abbie.  He refuses to look at any pictures of her with her new family.
5. I was doing good not “actively” crying during the goodbye until David scratched her ears and said, “You be a good girl.”
6. Pretty much lost it.
7. Mom called today.

Mom:  How are you doing today?

Me:  Sad.

Mom:  Heard anything?

Me:  Yes.  The mama of the new family took Abbie on a walk this morning and sent a picture.  Kate told her Abbie loves to take walks around the property with me and new mama took her on one this morning.

And sent me a picture.

Mom:  No!  Don’t tell me that!  It is too sad!

Me:  Why?  It is good.  Abbie loves walks.

Mom:  Sad.

Me:  It’s ok.

8.  Kate got her first college acceptance letter.

“Mom.  I look gross.  It is late and I just got home from basketball.”

Me:  Nonsense.

9.  Hadley’s nickname is Hadley Bethie Baby Butt.  Just thought I should mention it.

10.  Because her middle name is Beth.  The rest is unexplicable.

11.  A dear friend gave me an “I’m sorry you had to say goodbye to the best dog you ever had” bottle of wine.  And that is just nice.

12.  The boys told David that Hadley is super nice to them and buys them coffee drinks before school once a week for no reason at all.

13.  So David bought Hadley a gift card to the coffee stand.

14.  Jess, of Sister Meagan and Jess fame, sent us treat/comfort money not only when we lost Tank, but also when we lost Abbie.  And that is just nice.

15.  Precious nephew sent me a video today telling me he loved me.  Do you remember precious nephew?

I haven’t seen him in awhile.  Stupid ‘Rona.

16.  Norma Jean Riley likes to eat dog food.  And it is plum confusing for me.

17.  I almost cried about four times today.  But then I didn’t.

18.  Farrier friend (FF) came and brought a steer for David tonight.  Apparently David went steer shopping and neglected to tell me about it.

19.  What else is new?

20.  I asked FF if he heard about our dog.

FF:  No?

Me:  We had to get rid of her.

FF (looking at the spaghetti sauce):  Oh.  Is that what you are cooking for dinner?

21. !

22.  He liked my spaghetti sauce.

23.  Let the records show:  it was made with BEEF.

24.  Yes.  From one of our own.

25.  1st grader:  Mrs. M?

Me:  Yes?

1st grader:  How come you never let us watch TV?

Me:  Like during class?

1st grader:  Yeah!

Me:  Um.  Because I need to teach you?

Happy Monday.

Because life is not centered around my trauma with dogs, let us talk about basketball.  Kate, Hadley, and HD are all currently playing.  LD will not play until January.

Because of the ‘Rona, we cannot watch any of their games in person.  But here is something fun:

They are live streaming games so we can watch them from the comfort of our homes.  So that’s nice.

Here’s HD on the big screen:

So, that’s something.

***

Another calf was calved.  But not from Maisy.

It was from one of the cows David bought at auction.  You know.  That wouldn’t calve until February or March?

***

Rio destroyed my Christmas decor, but still found time to pose for a picture.

“Feeling cute.  Might destroy more decor later.”

***

Guess what I learned about myself this week:  I get really attached to my animals.

Also: I loved Abbie with all my heart.

I tried everything I could.  I consulted people, vets, dog trainers, and did research.  Those two dogs could not live together anymore.

We are rehoming Abbie.

You would not believe how hard I have cried.  Every day.  For like a week.  I feel sick from crying.  It is ridiculous.  But she was my favorite.  And she loved us.

Today, she went out with David and the kids for one last session of farm and ranch chores.

I cleaned her kennel out and washed her blankets and collar.  I gathered some things for her and threw in some hot chocolate packets and a bag of mini-marshmallows.

Back when we first got Abbie, she was meant to be HD’s dog.  It was soon very clear that she loved David.

Me:  No fair!  You don’t even talk to her!  How come she loves you the most?!

David let me feel all glum about it for awhile, and then he let me in on his secret.

David:  You know how I have hot chocolate with marshmallows everynight?

Me:  Yes.

David:  I sneak her marshmallows every night.  And now she loves me.

So, I am sending her off to her new family with a supply of hot chocolate and marshmallows, hopeful she will connect quickly with them.

When she came inside, I gave her a bath.

Then she got some last minute snuggles in with everyone.

She is going to a family with 8 kids and no dogs.  This family is very excited to have her and I hope it all works out very well.  We were honest with the family and they know everything about her and why we are rehoming her.  I feel so lucky she is going with them.

But this has been so hard for me, for all of us.  This past month has just been awful with dogs.  The terrible dog fights, the emergency vet trips, the stress, and having to put down Tank a couple of weeks ago.

This is just plain awful.

She was perfect for us.

A faithful companion to each of us.

My heart is sad and my face hurts from crying.

I am going to miss her on our walks to check on the cows.  I am going to miss her excitement about going camping with us.

I am going to miss everything about her.

We were so lucky to have had her.

Something I don’t like to tell people much is that I really want to write a children’s book.  About a year ago, I decided I wanted to write a book about her, because she was so fun to watch on the farm and with David.

Me last night, sobbing like a baby:  But, David!  I was supposed to write a book about her!

David:  You still can.

Me:  Oh, but I won’t.  We all know me.

But maybe someday, I can do it.  Who knows.

I am going to miss her so much.  She was the best dog I ever had.