The Lumberjack's Wife

This year in review is getting out of control.  Three parts, indeed!  Who do I think I am?

(To catch up, start here.)

So, our summer was quite busy with WEEDING, camping, gardening, WEEDING, canning, WEEDING, beach-going, WEEDING, and general animal husbandry.  And is not “husbandry” a fun word?

I vote yes!

We chased ourselves a lot of animals with the help of our trusty fishing nets.

We gardened and we canned.

We went huckleberry picking.  For no summer is complete without the search for the purple gold.

We went swimming.

David turned 32.  Such an old-timer now.

We started school in August.  Who knows why?  Clearly we did not have our thinking caps on.

Sweet Pea started 4th grade, Daisy Mae started 3rd, and Handsome Dude started Kindergarten.  Little Dude either joins Handsome Dude for Kindergarten or ditches us to play trains.  Whatever floats his boat.

I drove a rooster and several varieties of hens and rabbits to the county fair in a truck with four kids and zero Davids . . .

Only to discover I was supposed to PRE-register.  And I had to take them all home, head hanging in shame.

I learned the very, VERY, very hard way that canning is not good for smooth cook tops and blew up my cook top whilst canning millions of peaches.  It was super convenient.  We went without one for a bit and snagged a great deal on The Craigslist for $100.

It was all very thrilling.

David was “blessed” with road kill moose during our Labor Day Camping extravaganza.

Horrifying, yes?

Towards the beginning of September, I threw another homeschooling fit.  It lasted for a good three weeks.  It is a good thing I am not prone to drama or anything like that.  But it is so hard for me to coordinate the teaching of the three different grade levels.  I wash my hands of it!

Stay tuned for an epic homeschooling fit when Little Dude joins in on the fun next year!

Daisy Mae helped David “harvest” wood.

And, yes.  I just said “harvest.”

This is how we talk, we peoples of the country.

We got another kitten.  He was supposed to be temporary, but he is still here.  So there you go.

His name is Mr. Poppers.  In case you cared.

We also got ourselves seven pigs.  Because that is precisely what was missing around here.

Pigs.

And, just like every other blessed creature that comes to live with us, they got loose.

And I, yes, I, Taylor Maliblahblah, had to chase them all about.

Around the end of October, we began to finally start painting the peach walls.  We moved out to Ruralville in June of 2010 and the entire house was painted peach.  Finally, and I mean FINALLY, we started to slowly repaint.

And do you remember how I blew up my cook top by canning in August?  Well, David stood on the replaced one and cracked it while painting.  We can use two of the burners on it still and we are still searching for a good Craigslist find.

Cook tops.  Twill be the death of me.

We celebrated Thanksgiving and Christmas with family and had a lovely time, per usual.  Sweet Pea entered the double digits and turned 10 on the last day of 2012.

We gathered for a sledding party with David’s side of the family.

That’s Amy and I.  Amy is my super cool sis in law.  Please try to keep up.

Daisy Mae enjoying a warm cup of cocoa.

I refused to sled.  You see, dear readers, even though it might seem like I am the outdoorsy-adventurous type, I am not.

Consider yourselves fooled.

Well, after much peer pressure, I did go down, and Jason snapped a photo.  Which we are all grateful for.

Basically, what you see there is me freaking out and putting my leg out to try to stop the sheer force of my great speed, but in the end, all I am doing is spraying snow in my face.

So, there you go.  Our 2012 in review.

What was your favorite memory of 2012?

Cheers!

(For Part One, Click Here)

We went camping in May.  We attempted to go on a hike, but one of the trucks in our group, driven by someone other than David, got stuck in the snow.

David, who lives for these sorts of things, became all giddy-like as he helped pull the stuck truck out of the snow.

Yes.  That is David’s “excited” face.

Why does he get so excited, you ask?  I have no idea.  But if I were to venture to guess, I would presume there is something immensely satisfying about having your truck be the strongest.  Or something like that.  I don’t know.  I am not a guy.

The best part was the Person Driving Other Than David became unstuck and started to back out.  David had pulled off to the side of the road, but could not back up anymore because a snow bank was behind him.  The other driver started backing right up right towards David’s truck.  All of us inside of David’s truck started screaming and hollering.  David slammed on his horn as hard as he could, which was a total let down.  You see, dear readers, David’s horn has not worked since, like, aught-five.

And the other guy backed into us.

Broken glass.  Smashed bumpers.  It’s all categorized under “Camping Fun.”

So we went to a tiny town’s museum instead.

Camping.  Always adventurous.

Meanwhile, back at the ranch . . .

We worked hard to build a new fenced area for the rabbits.

Yes!  Not only do we have a plethora of chickens, dear readers.  We also have rabbits.

Lots of them.  Because we are not weird and creepy at all.

Here are two of the rabbits saying goodbye to their old hutch homes while awaiting escort to their new digs.

It was a lot of work, but we pulled it off before dark.

Barely.

We finally finished the chicken coop.

You know.  About two months after we got chickens.

In an effort to become even weirder (if that was even possible), we decided to hatch baby chicks on our counter.

Yes!  On our KITCHEN counter!  Be jealous!

They do not smell as pleasant as you might think.

Little Dude turned 4!  It was a momentous occasion.

All he wanted to do was go fishing.  And fishing we went.

I turned 31.  Sadly.

But I did get a Moose Tracks ice cream in a waffle cone.  So, that’s exciting.

I spent the entire summer weeding that blessed garden.

It killed me dead.

David and I celebrated 12 years of marriage.  Be impressed and joyful.

The summer was filled with a lot of weeding.  But we also managed to squeeze in some fun.

All that weeding started to pay off and we were able to see the fruits of our labor.

David started to crunch some numbers and decided that some hens were eating food that he PAID for, yet not laying eggs.

This will not do, dear readers.  Oh, no.  This will not do.

Now, personally, I am more than happy to run a geriatric hen retirement community.  My husband, however, feels differently.

So, we separated the hens and determined which ones were layers and which were not.  Those who were not . . .

Well.  You know.  They had to go.

And lucky for them because Taylor got herself a pressure canner.

I think this was the point in my life where I hit rock bottom.

Pressure canning chicken.  What is wrong with us?

Don’t worry.  We did not eat it.

Towards the end of July, our dog, Miley, died in an unfortunate accident.

 It was very sad for all of us, but especially hard for Sweet Pea.

To be continued . . .

Let’s take a look back at our year, shall we?

We shall.

Last year started off with a horrible accident.  Well, technically, it happened on December 31st, but we are ok with lumping it into January.

Handsome Dude’s leg became trapped under a huge log.  (You can read more about it here)His leg was cut open very badly in the back and we had to take him to the Emergency Room for surgery.

Thankfully, his injuries were not even close to what they could have been and his leg is now completely fine, with the exception of a gnarly scar.

Towards the end of January, I threw what became known as:

The Great Homeschooling Fit of 2012, part 1.

I added the part 1 because I would have another Great Homeschooling Fit of 2012 come September.

As an attempt to redeem homeschooling, we created a homeschool room inside the house.

My husband, sensing my loss of sanity, even installed a ginormous whiteboard for me.  It was all very exciting.

The girls had been begging to get a dog or some time and in February, we brought home not one, but two dogs.

Tank

and Miley

They are brother/sister and were almost four years old when we got them.  The biggest perk to Tank and Miley was the fact that they were lazier than our own children.

The night we brought them home, they ran off.  David chased them down and almost got shot in the process.  But what can you do?

In early March, we started to prepare our land for our first garden and chicken coop.  David got right to work on clearing brush and trimming trees.

I am thinking a helmet would be an ideal accessory, don’t you?

Crazy boy.

He started building the chicken coop.

And Handsome Dude was on the clean up crew.

Handsome Dude and Daisy Mae each had a birthday.  Their birthdays are one day apart.

Handsome Dude turned 5 and Daisy Mae turned 8.

Sweet Pea was baptized in March at our church.

In April, the chicken coop was finished.

It still needed to be painted and a fence needed to be built around it. We had been discussing buying about 10 baby chicks from the farm and ranch store to get started.

But, alas.

David was perusing The Craigslist and found a deal for free chickens and scurried off.

He came home with 23 hens, 1 rooster, 1 Tom Turkey, and 2 hen turkeys.

So, we closed up our new flock in the coop, turned on the truck headlights, and worked until dark fencing the coop so our feathered friends could roam safely in their yard.

Mr. Tom Turkey terrified us.  He was a wretched creature who would gobble murderous threats.

Unfortunately for Tom, his legs broke under the weight of his massive girth, so, David had to *ahem*, take care of him.

Bummer.

We also got a kitten!  Because we are lacking in animals.  Clearly.

Handsome Dude was ecstatic and immediately declared his name to be Peter.

We went camping in April with my parents for my dad’s birthday.

We started receiving many, lovely eggs from our feathered friends.

And David started a sneaky habit of bringing hens home without my knowledge.

The boys became fascinated with the chickens and started visiting them often.  The biggest problem with this was the fact that they would leave the gate open.

This is unfortunate when you have approximately 60 chickens.

Oh, yes.  I said sixty.

We started the great task of fencing our 100 foot by 40 foot garden.  Because we have so many deer around, we needed to put up an 8 ft high fence.

It was quite the task, but we were able to finish it in one weekend.

In early May, David planted the entire garden while I was in town.

Also in May, we went on a big family bike ride.

Inspired by the aforementioned bike ride, I decided to take the children on a bike ride all by myself.

It was an extremely foolish idea.

Also in May, David had to have an emergency appendectomy. 

The doctor told him he had to take it easy, so you can imagine my despair when he tried to start building a rabbit fence less than 24 hours after surgery.

I used my quick-like thinking skills and got him loaded up to go on a car ride to get a huckleberry ice cream cone.

Doesn’t he look pleased?

Yes.  I am brilliant.

He was obviously feeling a bit better, seeing as how he managed to stop and buy some chickens that two ladies were selling by the roadside.

His belt hurt his stitches, so he started wearing suspenders.

It was a fashion win.

Speaking of fashion wins, Handsome Dude got his new Space Man glasses in May.

And to this day, they have yet to break.

Alright.  This post has gone on long enough.  We will continue this year in review at a later time.

Farewell!

Today, my oldest turns 10.  Now how is THAT possible?  I must be old.

In honor of this great occasion, I shall write a list.  For this pleases me so.

Top Ten Things You Should Know About Sweet Pea:

1.  Her name is not really Sweet Pea.

2.  She loves dogs.  She had a special bond with Miley, who sadly died this summer.  We also have a dog named Tank.  Tank favors Sweet Pea as she dotes on him and talks to him like he is God’s gift to dog owners.

Sweet Pea and Miley, summer 2012

3.  She desperately wants to be a veterinarian.  She chose to take an extra science class (Zoology) this year because she is trying to learn all she can about animals.

Sweet Pea holding a baby rabbit

Sweet Pea holding Mr. Poppers, an abandoned kitten we were given.

(Because we needeth more animals.  Obviously)

Sweet Pea showing off her homemade bird feeder from Zoology class.

4.  She loves American Girl dolls.

Sweet Pea at an American Girl Tea Party

Sweet Pea’s doll modeling an outfit made by her Great-Aunt

Sweet Pea’s doll wearing a dress made by Sweet Pea herself with the help of her Aunt Lisa.

5.  She loves to read.  For Christmas, she got a Kindle and is really enjoying it.

6.  She loves learning about prairie times and has read quite a few of the Little House books.

Sweet Pea wearing a dress made by her Great Aunt.

7.  She loves hanging out with family.

Sweet Pea and Uncle Jason, summer 2012

Sweet Pea with myself and Aunt Amy, helping make strawberry jam.

Bike ride adventure with family from both sides.

Sweet Pea fishing with everyone for her brother’s birthday

Sweet Pea and Pop Pop.  She tells me she and Pop Pop are, like, identical twins.  I explained this was impossible on many levels.  She retracted that statement and declared they were actually soul mates.  Which is also a little not-so-possible.  I think she just means they share many common interests.  And she basically says that because they both enjoy reading.  So there you go.

On a walk with her Aunt Meagan and siblings.

8.  She has a sweet heart.  She made many homemade gifts for Christmas.  For her dad, she patched a few of his favorite Carhartt sweatshirts and froze cookie dough for him so he could make it whenever he wished.  She also made her sister’s doll a dress.  She has been surprising me by doing the dishes and cleaning up the kitchen for me.

Just a couple of days ago, I was trying to do 18 things at once.  I put a load of laundry on the bed to fold, then I went downstairs to load the fire.  Then I noticed a mess the boys made, so I went to find them and “inspire” them to clean up their mess.  I came back upstairs to start a new wash load and then noticed I needed to wipe off a counter.  I went into my room and could not find the laundry I meant to fold.  I decided I probably had the laundry basket somewhere and forgot where I left it.  I then embarked on a hunt for the missing clean laundry that needed to be folded.

It was nowhere.

Clearly, I am old now and have lost my mind.  As I stood muttering in the kitchen, Sweet Pea walked by me and said,

“I just folded and put away a load of laundry.”

Bam!  I am not crazy.  Phew.

9.  She has a big love for God.  She was baptized this past year.

She helps David and I teach preschoolers at church.  She enjoys leading them in worship and coming up with review games for the kids after the lesson.  She also befriends the little ones who are sad when their parents leave.

For her birthday this year, she asked for:

“A Bible.  With deaths in it.  Black.  With my name on it.  Not a kid Bible.”

What she wants is a Bible that has a few pages at the beginning to record births, deaths, and marriages.  We did get her a Bible, but, sadly, we could not find one to record deaths with.

Lame.

10.  She is very independent.  She knows all there is to know already, which makes homeschool interesting.  She will not let me touch her hair, nor can I pick out her clothes.  She is the child who will go remove a dead chicken for me.  She will take her dog on a walk, even if it is raining.  She is the only homeschooled child who plays on her basketball team and keeps going, even though no one really talks to her.  She used her Bible bucks (pretend money she can earn at church) to buy Christmas gifts for her brothers.  She hollers for me when she sees infomercials about losing belly fat, because she has noticed I need some motivation in this area.  She most always compliments my cooking.

She is turning into a lovely, young lady, and I am so glad I get to be her mom!

Let us discuss the Christmas happenings, shall we?  We shall.

On Christmas Eve, we went to church and then to my sis in law, Lisa’s house for our usual Maliblahblah side Christmas.  A few years ago, we started a White Elephant gift exchange tradition.

I have known now for awhile what I would be bringing.

Yes, that’s right.  The pressure canned chicken.  You see, dear readers, last summer David got it into his head that we needed to rid ourselves of all hens who were not producing eggs.  Something about it not being cost effective to feed old hens and blah blah blah.  Personally, I was completely fine with running a retirement ranch for geriatric hens.  But David informed me this was not how farm and ranch peoples, such as ourselves, approach life.

So.  He put the hens in separate little stalls and they all had three days to produce an egg.  Or else.  I would visit said hens and beg, nay plead, with them to please, PLEASE, lay an egg.

Alas.  Some hens did not heed my warning that the end was near and, well, the end came.  David and I had a brilliant idea, however.  We decided we would take the meat of the elderly hens, throw it in a mason jar, pressure can it, and call it dinner.

This idea works great if you are not scared to open the jars and eat the meat.

My brother in law, Jack was lucky enough to be stuck blessed with the cute, little jars of meat.

But, look!  He is full of Christmas joy upon receiving it.  And Lisa said she was totally going to try eating it.

Because she is crazy.  Obviously.

On Christmas Day, my parents and sister came over.  I was to make a turkey dinner for the evening feast, and, well, this might surprise you, but I am afeared of the turkey carcass.  Something about reaching into anything’s cavity and pulling out necks and guts . . . it just gives me the peepee shivers.  Luckily, I managed to con my dad into just doing it for me.

Win!

After my dad prepped my turkey for me, we ate some lunch and opened a few presents.  Here are the children.  For I know you are all dying to see pictures of the children.

Sweet Pea, age 9 11/12ths.  Check out her American Girl doll’s outfit.  Auntie Datenut made it!

Could Daisy Mae look any more tired?

No.  No, she could not.

Her doll is also modeling an outfit created by Auntie Datenut.

Handsome Dude and the biggest Nerf gun ever.  Which he most certainly did not sneak up into the loft with while we were eating dinner later on.  And he also would never shoot from the loft and knock over someone’s beverage.  Nope.  Not my son.  Not on Christmas.

Little Dude, AKA Father Christmas.  Everything about Christmas is wee exciting.

Later on, we decided we were feeling a little calorie-laden, so we decided to go on a pre-Turkey dinner walk.

From left to right:

Little Dude, Sweet Pea, Sister Meagan, Daisy Mae, and Handsome Dude.

Handsome Dude had no less than 18 meltdowns on that blessed walk.  He perked up after he saw some cows, however.  As most people do.

It was a lovely day.  We had a beautiful, white Christmas.

We came inside to finish preparing the feast.  Or, more accurately, my dad got right to carving the turkey and my mother made gravy and a couple of side dishes.

I can’t make gravy!  That is crazy talk!

Oh, sure.  I cooked some of the food.  Just not all of it.  We should not yet trust Taylor with the big Christmas feast.  She is not ready.

For the feast, my uncle and cousin and his wife came to be impressed with Taylor’s Great Christmas Feast.  That Taylor did not prepare all by herself.  And throughout the dinner, my parents kept praising my meal.

Which was good.  Since they basically made it.

Merry Christmas!

The other day, I was doing school with the girls and I heard Little Dude calling for the dog downstairs.

“Tank!  Tank!  Here boy!”

He continued to call, and I continued to teach.  A little while later, he came upstairs.

He was no longer wearing pants.

Little Dude:  Tank!  Tank!

Me:  Dude.  Where are your pants?

Little Dude:  Moooom!  I need Tank!

Me:  Where are your pants?

Little Dude:  But, Mooooooom!  I NEED Tank!

Me:  You were wearing pants a minute ago.  Where are they now?

Little Dude, exasperated:  Mom.  I had to poop, ok?  Now where is Tank?

Me:  Why did you take your pants off?

Little Dude:  Because!  Now where’s Tank?

Me:  Did you wash your hands?

Little Dude (sighing):  No!

Me:  Go wash your hands and put your pants on.

Little Dude:  Mom!  I am not done pooping yet!

Me:  Then why are you walking around??!!  Go finish up!

Little Dude:  But I NEED Tank!

Me:  You do not need Tank.  Go.

Little Dude (crying and heading back downstairs):  But I NEED to show him something, Mom!  I need to!

This, my friends, is why I am helplessly addicted to coffee.

***

The children wanted to pick out presents for our pets for Christmas.  True, that could get a bit our of hand at our house, seeing as how our animal count is near the triple digits.  However, we just consider Tank the Dog, Peter the Cat, and Mr. Poppers the Cat our pets.

The pigs, chickens, and rabbits do not have a special place in our hearts.  Sadly.

Handsome Dude was so excited about the presents. He wanted to wrap them quickly before any of the animals saw them.  Because, clearly, animals are aware of Christmas surprises.

He put all three of the gifts in a gift bag himself.

He proudly wrote:  “CAT CAT DOG” on the present, because those are words he can spell.

Yes! MY boy!  A speller!

Who knew?!

Is that not precious?  Of course, the girls had a fit when they saw he had used an American Girl store bag.

But what is life without drama?

Happy Saturday!

This week has been so sad.  I cannot believe what happened in Connecticut last Friday.  I think about all those poor families constantly.  I cannot imagine the pain they are going through.  I am praying.

***

Last Monday, we had horrible wind.  Our house lost power around 8am.  The power came off and on and went off for good around 11:30am.  Thankfully, we have wood heat, so we were not cold.  We do not have a land line, so my cell phone was the only way I could make calls.  My phone’s battery was quickly dying, so I decided to go outside, start the minivan, and charge my phone for awhile.

And for reasons yet to be determined, the van doors were all locked.  With the keys AND the spare key sitting neatly inside.

Drat.

I was holding up well until about 2:30pm.  I learned, dear friends, that I am strongly addicted to caffeine.  You can imagine my woe when I realized that coffee will not be making its way into my cup.  Seeing as how I lacked power.

Oh, sure.  There is probably some way that pioneer women made coffee on wood stoves back in the days of yore.

I am not that woman.

Around 3:30, I realized it was going to get dark and I was going to need to come up with a plan.  The kids and I found all the candles and flashlights and got all set up for a night of darkness.

My phone kept shutting down due to low battery, so I decided to make one last call to my beloved.

Yes, my beloved.  Remember him?  The guy who wanted to move out to the middle of nowhere?  The guy whose dream house I am living in?

Yes, him.  He who was in the big city enjoying the modern convenience of power.

Me (being dramatic, because, hello, I have had no coffee.  Or power.):  Hello?  My phone is dying.  Still no power.  Keys locked in minivan.  WHEN ARE YOU COMING HOME?

David:  I don’t know.  A couple of hours.  Just charge the phone in the truck.

Well.  I hadn’t thought of that.  Clearly I am not the brains of this operation.

Me:  Ok.  Well we have had no power all day.  We can only eat peanut butter and jelly for dinner.  Just letting you know.

David:  Do you want me to pick up something?

Me:  Not necessarily.

David:  We could heat up soup on the wood stove.

Darn him and his pioneering ways.

Me (shouting,because my phone battery is beeping. And shouting will help.):  I NEED TO HANG UP AND PUT THE PHONE ON THE CHARGER.  JUST COME HOME SOON.  AND PLEASE BRING COFFEE.

It is a good thing I am not a bit dramatic.  David appreciates that quality about me.

I hang up and go outside to charge the phone.  As I am returning, I see the pig gate is open. Because that is precisely what is missing from my day.

Loose pigs.

Thankfully, the pigs had yet to notice the good fortune of having the wind blow open their gate and all seven were safe and accounted for.

Yes.  We have seven pigs.  Don’t you?

As I was locking up the gate, Handsome Dude opens the front door and shouts:

“Mom!  Come quick!  Little Dude is hurt WILLY bad!”

So, I rush in and Little Dude is being comforted by his sisters.

Daisy Mae:  Mom.  He climbed onto the counter and touched the candle wax.  I told him not to, but he did and now his finger hurts because he touched the hot wax.

I would like the records to show that I had already had the candle safety talk with the children mere moments ago.

The sun went down and the kids and I gathered in the living room to await the arrival of the patriarch.  We told stories and sang Christmas songs.  And the kids most certainly did not argue over which song we should sing when.

Nope.  Not my kids.

David came home around 5:30 bearing gifts of a latte and Christmas cookies from someone from this work.

Glory!

The kids and I huddled around the cookies while David pulled our camp trailer up to our house.  We have a generator in our trailer and apparently, David, the fine electrician that he is, was able to hook it up so we could have a bit of power in the house.

Don’t ask me how.

It worked and we were able to have a few lights on and the TV.  David then got to work on trying to get into the locked minivan.

He makes a better electrician than a locksmith.

The power came back on later that evening and a nice, traveling glass repairman just came out here and replaced with window for many, MANY dollars.

Happy Wednesday!

Little Dude teared up during the blessing last night and asked God if we could please decorate for Christmas soon.

Epic Parenting Yuletide Fail.

We are decorating tomorrow.  Poor kids.  Their parents are lame.

Today is the last day of school before Christmas break!  Be excited.  Earlier this week, we went on a field trip to see the eagles.  Even thought I grew up in this area, I had no idea that there is a specific species of salmon that comes to the lake here, spawns, and dies.  Eagles come from who-knows-where to eat the dead salmon.  David had to tell me all about it so I would not look like THAT homeschooling mom who knows nothing at the informative eagle field trip.

Its amazing I graduated from high school.  And college.  And with honors.

?

This is the one eagle we spotted.

At least I think it is an eagle.  There were many seagulls flying around, too.  Just to trick me, I am sure.

After we spotted the eagles and seagulls, we went to a little presentation from Fish and Game.

For some reason, Mrs. Fish and Game looked with favor upon Handsome Dude and he was chosen to

A)  Hold up a sign

And

B)  Compare himself with the size of an eagle.

As a result of Handsome Dude’s good fortune, Little Dude plunked himself down in the chair, arms crossed, and eyes full of fury, announcing to the world that life is:

“NO FAIR!”

His attitude is exemplary.

***

The girls had their Christmas piano recital last weekend.

Sweet Pea

Daisy Mae

Sweet Pea is starting to get like me.  When I was a young lass, I would get extremely nervous during piano recitals.  My hands would shake so hard I could barely play.

My mother had to drug me.  True story.

***

In my last post, I showed you some bad Christmas photos, yet, I forgot to show you the ones that worked.

It happens.

I do not love either of these pictures, but I cropped them a bit and made them work for our card.

That David.  If he smiles any bigger, his face might explode.

Happy Friday!