The Lumberjack's Wife

Are you ready to feel badly for me?

1)  My Internet on my computer was not working for the past week.  Ok.  Six days.  But I am rounding up, on account of the mass devastation and withdrawls I suffered through.

2)  My phone broke Thursday and I was without phone from Thursday-Sunday. 

3)  I HAD to go camping with my camping hair.

4)  I HAD to go huckleberry picking.  And we only got about 1 cup.

5) I HAD to clean that darn rental again.  And I am just going to have to clean it again next Sunday.

6)  I HAD to wear a swimsuit thrice.  This is troublesome for both myself and the other fellow beach-goers.

7)  Handsome Dude’s glasses broke today beyond repair and new ones must be ordered.   Because we enjoy ordering new glasses.

8)  Our Excursion was in the shop two weeks ago.  We paid many dollars and waited many days and now the same problem has returned.  Because we enjoy pointlessly hemorrhaging money. 

9)  I witnessed a rabbit having what appears to have been a heart attack.  As if I know what a rabbit heart attack looks like.   And I don’t.  Nor am I prepared in how to handle these sorts of rabbit emergencies.  I put the dying rabbit in the garage and put a fan near it, to bring it comfort in its last moments.  It seemed reasonable at the time.  What do I know?

Not much.

10)  The deceased rabbit was Little Dude’s bunny, Screamer.

Remember?

“My bunny’s name is Screamer.”

I KNOW, right?  I told you all that you would feel badly for me.

 Woe unto me.

So, a lot has happened since we last spoke.  I shall now flood your screen with pictures, because I know that is why you come here.  You know.  My top notch photography skills.  Or skillz, whichever you prefer.

We went to the beach last week and wowed everyone with my swimsuit body.

Here are my girls.  They have found a log.  Logs can oft be seen floating in the lake round these here parts.  It’s because of all the past logging in these regions.  I think. 

Lumberjackin’.  It’s in our blood.  It cannot be helped.

The girls were busy creating boats and such with the plethora of logs. 

Handsome Dude also found lumber.  But he is not as brave of a swimmer as the girls.  He says the water is “too big wee high” for him.

Is he not Handsome?  He is quite aptly named.

Quite.

Little Dude was entertained endlessly with a plastic spoon and the sand.

Easy peasy.

The astute reader might notice the aforementioned logs floating around in the lake behind Little Dude.

See?

I do not speak lies.

David showing the children no mercy during the racing portion of the beach evening.

David showing the children no mercy during the splashing portion of the beach evening.

So that was fun.  And then we went camping.

On Saturday morning, we, and when I say we, I of course mean, everyone else, decided to go huckleberry picking.  I came because I had nothing better to do.

I was blessed with the opportunity to be travelling in the same rig as David and his brother, Alex.

This is how they look the entire time we are driving.

David:

Alex:

You see, dear readers, if you want to be a Maliblahblah, you must be constantly on the lookout for:

A) Deer.  Preferably bucks.  But any sort of deer will bring excitement and butterflies in the tummy.

B)  Huckleberry brush.

C)  Tamaracks

Tamaracks are simply the best trees for wood-fellin’-fun.

And yes, I just said “wood-fellin.” Because that’s how you talk when you are looking for tamaracks.  You also must refer to creeks as cricks and ignore all phonics rules you have ever learned.

Tamaracks burn hot and slow, making them ideal for the wood stove. 

Keep up, people!

So.  We found about 1 cup of huckleberries and a dead tamarack that would be harvested the following morn.

And, yes.  I just said harvested.

Next we donned our swimsuits and floated the river for hours upon end.

 Handsome Dude loses all manliness when he is on the river.

“Dad!  Do the fish want to eat my toesies?!”

“Dad!  Are there crocodiles in this ribber?”

“Dad!  The water is too wee big high for me!”

After the ribber, we went and got ice cream . . .

and TOTALLY redeemed the day with a moose tracks in waffle cone.

We went back to camp and I started to prepare the evening meal, because they trust me with that sort of thing, while the others played a game.  At one point, the entire family was screaming at me:

“TAYLOR!  TAYLOR! AHHH!  FIRE!  DANGER! TAYLOR AHHHH! DESTRUCTION AND DOOM! LOOK!”

Or something like that.  There was so much screaming, I could not understand what they were saying.  But I knew it had to be bad.

The mass screaming scared me so much I just started screaming back and running in place.

Because that is always a good plan.

Turns out Little Dude had found out how to climb on top of the camp trailer and was running all around on the roof while I was cooking up a scrumptious meal.

Safe!

On Sunday, we got to float the river again.

Imagine our luck!

And then we packed up . . .

The observant reader might notice that David was successful in the harvesting of the tamarack.

The observant reader might also notice the stack of wood being left behind.

This wood was not tamarack and we shall not be bothered to load such inferior wood into our trucks and take it home to our wood burning stoves.

No.

We are wood snobs.

The next campers may have it.  We wash our hands of it.

My kids.

So dirty.

So goofy.

On the way home, we stopped for another ice cream cone.

Holla!

If it wasn’t for them ice cream cones, I might have to quit camping.

Happy Monday!

Want to know what’s unfortunate?

That.

That is unfortunate. 

 We are 0 for 2 over here in the glasses department.  David, being the dapper dude that he is, offered to stop and get them repaired for us while he is flitting about in the cities today.

Holla, David!

So wonderful, so kind.  I even lovingly packed all of the bits and pieces for him:

and secured them in this uber manly contraption . . .



He’s loving me today.  I just know it.

Since I last blogged, I had to clean that darn rental house two times.  The first time was on Friday and, since David was busy electrifying things, I had to mow the lawn.

People!

Are you aware of how hard it is to start a lawn mower?

I am.

I prevailed and was able to get the job done.  I was even sweating like a pig when it was all over.  I am sure you are glad to be informed of that.  I even went to church all smelly-like.  I am sure you are glad to be informed of that as well.

On Saturday, David worked.  Again.  I stayed at home and did some freezer cooking, because I am clearly awesome.  I made 4 batches of teriyaki chicken, with HOMEMADE teriyaki sauce, as if I couldn’t be any more talented.  And I’m not.

 I also made 6 batches of some sort of chicken and wild rice soup.

I hate making soup.  Why do I do it?  I cannot be certain.

Nevertheless, I have 10 meals in the freezer, ready to go.  Well on my way to the 60 meals I am hoping for.  Ha!

Next up is a lemon glazed chicken and chicken noodle soup.

Again with the soup!

Why must I punish myself?

Anyone seeing a “chicken” trend, here?  It is my hope to ban all elk and elk byproducts from my menu.

On Sunday, we planned to have a relaxing, family day, filled with a trip to the beach and a scoop of ice cream.  Or, if you are David, 3 scoops of huckleberry ice cream.

But, alas.  Our plans were thwarted when the renters who were leaving that day called and said the dryer was broken.

So, instead of relaxing, we had to had back to the city where our old house abides and assess the situation.

The dryer works fine, but they damaged a piece of furniture pretty badly.  So, that’s a bummer.  While we were there, we just cleaned the house for the next group.  I am beginning to become fatigued with all that cleaning.  So tedious.

We still managed to sneak off to the lake and ice cream shop before heading home.

Here’s Little Dude showing some thigh.  Because he’s cute and he can.

Am I confusing anyone with the geography here in this post?  There are several lakes and rivers and ice cream shops in our area.  So, we were originally going  to one beach, but plans changed and we had to go to a different one.  Clearly, we live in the best area in the whole, wide world.  Try not to be too jealous.

Dang.  This post is boring.  I am having a hard time keeping interest while writing it.  And, yet, I shall continue. 

So, we started our drive back home.  I just had to snap this picture of David to prove to you all that he carries peanut M&Ms with him at all times.

Do you see the yellow bag there?  Do you?  Do you?

What is up with his face?

Here is a close up of the bag, to further prove my point:

See?

The XXL bag, even.

And his thighs are skinnier than mine.

No fair.

Alright!  That was my weekend, as exciting as it was.

I hope yours was most excellent.

Happy Monday!

David was reading my blog the other night.  This NEVER happens and the only reason he was reading my blog was because I said, and I quote:

“Hey!  You should read my blog so you can find out what we have been up to!”

Hint.  Hint.

So, he does what he always does and acts like he doesn’t know what a blog is and what the blog is called.   He forgets how to type and doesn’t remember that most websites end in “.com”, so I have to do all the manual labor for him and I get him all set up to read my blog.

Because my end result is for him to want to read my blog.  Without me forcing him to.

Why?

I don’t know.  But it seems important.

So, he starts reading and I start the difficult task of trying to pretend that I am not interested in his reactions to my posts.  I busied myself with the dishes and kept glancing casually over to try and interpret his thoughts from his face.

Nothing.

Oh, well.  What can you do?  And then, THEN, he bursts out laughing.

Laughing, people!  LAUGHING!

I abandon all attempts to remain cool and casual and rush to his side.

Me:  What’s so funny?!  What part did you think was funny?!

Raise your hand if you think Taylor is a bit needy.

David:  Erin’s comment.  That was hilarious.

Darn you, Erin.  You stole my moment.

But that is neither here nor there.

I have a bunch of odds and ends to share with you. 

I hope you have your party pants on!

***

When we were grocery shopping the other day, and I was beginning to lose ALL my patience, Handsome Dude put his hands in the air and loudly announced his siblings:

“Quiet, Ever-buddy! (everybody) Mom’s feeling stressful!”

Atta boy.

***

When we were eating at a restaurant the other day, Handsome Dude starting talking about something, but I can’t now recall what it was.

Oh, boy.  That last sentence was riveting.  Don’t leave.

Anyways.  That’s not important.  I told him that we couldn’t talk about that stuff, whatever it was.

Cue Little Dude and his uber loud voice and complete disregard for manners . . .

Little Dude (shouting, because . . .why not?): MOM!  WE CAN’T TALK ABOUT OUR *edited for maturity* UNITS!

(Sorry.  I just can’t type out the real word.  But, lest any of you are conufsed, he said the actual word for the male private part.)

Me:  Shhh!

Little Dude:  IT’S RUDE AND ICKS-DUSTING TO TALK ABOUT *UNITS*!

Me:  SHHHH!

Little Dude:  I NOT SAY *UNIT*, YOU NOT SAY *UNIT* BRUDDER NOT SAY *UNIT*  NO ONE SAY *UNIT*, OKAY?

I died a thousand deaths.

***

I am happy to report that Steam Boat Willie, the poor cat formerly known as Cougar, has returned to our lands.

We have not seen him and his awesome self, but have seen several mice carcasses.

Holla, Steam Boat Willie!

Holla!

***

I took Handsome Dude to the eye doctor yesterday.  Shocking, I know.  While they were trying to give him his eye exam, he loudly informed the nurse that he would not be reading any of the lines on the bottom 1/3 of the chart because he “didn’t like them.”

I told him he needed to try.

He still felt he needn’t do anything.

He is so cooperative.

For the eye exam, my friend Melissa, not to be confused with Bimlissa, offered to watch my kids!

I was like, have you read my blog?

But, anyways.  She did AND she made me a delicious Pioneer Woman recipe with pasta and zucchini and heavy cream for lunch.

Because everyone needs heavy cream every once in awhile.

Even those of us who are strictly following the Weight Watchers.

Melissa’s mother in law stopped by to visit her grandchildren.  She left for a bit and then came back.  Little Dude decided that she should love him as much as her factual grandchildren and sat right with her while she tried to read her grandson a book.

At one point, Little Dude looked right at her and said:

“I missed you”

When she was leaving, Little Dude shouted:

“Bye, Grandpa!”

Bless her heart, she didn’t even appear offended.

***

David brought home a vast amount of huckleberries last night.

And by vast, I mean 3/4 of a gallon.

The best part?

While he was tediously picking, I was at home reading a book!

And this morning, I feasted on Cheerios sprinkled with hucklberries.

Delicious.

And I didn’t even have to be afraid of the bears.

***

And, in conclusion, I shall post a picture of my face.

This way, you can determine if I do have a “unique” and “different” face, like the uber weird stranger at the grocery store thought.

I’m not very photogenic sometimes.

See?

Alright.

So that’s my face.

Happy Thursday!

PS-I would like everyone to know that I was supposed to hang out with MindyLouHoo on Tuesday when my truck broke down and, as a result, I broke her heart by robbing her of the opportunity to see me and my unique face.

PPS-Is that better, MindyLouHoo? 

My husband’s birthday is later on this month and I asked him last week what he would like.

Brace yourselves.

source

Coveralls.

For to cover all.

Fantastic.  And hang on to that thought.  It shall be important in a bit.

Our Excursion has broken down, so I am stuck with the good ol’ truck this week.  I have issues with the truck.  It is so high maintenance, what with its CB radio, clutch, winch, and four wheel drive features.

Question.  Does anyone else ever forget what gear they are in and have a panic attack whilst careening down the highway because they don’t know which direction to put the big stick thingie?

Because if you were in 4th and you put in in 3rd, the truck is going to be livid and make all sorts of noises and bucking motions. But if you were in 3rd and put it in 5th, you would lose all sorts of power and manliness.

Not that I ever have issues with the transmission.

  See what I mean?  Trucks are high maintenance.

So, I am driving from Ruralville (I still hate that name) to the city and smoke is coming out of the hood.  This is never a good sign.   Luckily, I was in downtown Ruralville at the time, so I had the local liquor store/car repair shop available.

Why, yes!  My town has a liquor store/car repair shop!  Doesn’t yours?

Anyone who’s anyone knows liquor and car repairs go hand in hand.  One stop shopping. 

I had called David and he told me to just ask them to help me put coolant in it.  So, I walk into the doors and there is a table with several men sitting, smoking, and playing poker.

Men:  Hello, there!

Me:  Hi.  Is this your shop?

Men:  Nope.

Me:  Do you know where the owner is?

Men:  Nope.

So, they were helpful.  And I swear that half of them were wearing coveralls.

And that is what we shall mourn on this day.  Because on this day, I saw my future.

And it looks oily. 

So, I found the owner.  He was really not too concerned about me, the damsel in distress with the four children and the smoking hood, that I was.  And he tried to help me for about 8 seconds and then wandered off muttering.  So I called David and he, being my knight in shining Carhartts, came to my rescue.

Now, David is the man.  We already knew this.  But in about 10 minutes, he had located the nearest Napa Auto Parts store and secured the parts needed to correct the problem.  Which apparently was more than just absent coolant.  But do you think I know what the problem was?  No, I do not.  Because I do not speak “truck.”  Nor do I care to.

But here’s the wretched part.

He had to tow me.

You may ask: “Taylor!  Why not just call a tow truck?”

And I would laugh at your foolishness and reply: “Have you MET my husband?”

 David and his truck are fully equipped for all emergencies.  If you were to walk out to his truck right now, here are some items you would find:

Wrenches

Ratchets

Chainsaw Ear Plugs

Work Gloves

Bullet shells

Tie-Downs

A Gun Rack, sans guns

Sunglasses

Gum

Baby Wipes

Waylon Jennings CD

Fuses

Coupons

And a plethora of peanut M&Ms

So, David takes one of the tie downs and hooks the truck up to his work vehicle.

People!  Have you ever had the priviledge of driving a vehicle that is being towed?

It is deplorable.

The tow rope thingie was about 10-15 feet long.  This is not long.  No.  Not when you are driving a truck with no power steering or brakes and your husband is towing you 12 miles going 45 miles per hour.

Is he INSANE?

Yes.  Yes, he is.

I survived and no one perished in a fiery car wreck.  David was able to fix whatever was wrong with things and then he and his peanut M&Ms drove off into the sunset.

The children and I still needed to head into the big city to go to Costco and the grocery store.

Good times.

At the very end of the day, around 7pm, we are checking out at the grocery store.  We’ve had no dinner or naps and we are tired and sweaty.

Because, oh!  Did I tell you?  The air conditioning is broken in the truck.

Are we surprised?

No, we are not.

Anyways.  As I am trying to peel Handsome Dude off of the floor of the checkout line and tear out my coupons, because who has time to come to the store prepared?, the lady next to me interrupts me.

Lady:  Miss!  Do your children work as models?

Me:  Oh!  No . . .

Lady:  Oh!  Because they all have such unique faces.  So different . . .

Me:  Oh!  Well, thanks . . .

Lady:  Look at your face!  I have never seen anything like it!  Such different features . . . hmmm . . . weird . . .

Me:  Oh!  Well  . . .Ok

Man in front of me:  Miss!  Grapes!  GRAPES!

And I turn to see the dudes “helping” put the grapes on the line.

But really they are just dumping them out everywhere.

But holla to Mr. Grapes who saved me from creepy lady who thinks I have a weird face and should get paid for it!

Alright.  I am tired.  And I don’t know if this post made sense.

But I shan’t worry about that now.

For I need to go to sleep.

Because tomorrow . . . tomorrow me and my “unique” face are doing it all over again.

Oh, yes.

Eye doctor.

Big City.

High-Maintenace Truck.

Four children.

No air conditioning.

Bring it. 

For Christmas, we were given a  “family night.”  It included 6 movie tickets and a gift card to Red Robin, and since it is too expensive to take all the kids to a movie, we decided to save this for a special treat.  We finally used it this weekend and David and I were quickly reminded of why we don’t ever, EVER, take our children to sit-down restaurants EVER.

In fairness, we had already had a super long day.  Our first mistake was no naps.  Our second mistake was David taking the kids to the beach  and wearing them out while I cleaned the rental house.  Our third mistake was thinking 4 tired children could sit and eat like decent human beings.

Handsome Dude, in the spirit of Handsome Dude, completely flipped out because he ripped his coloring page.  

I mean, who wouldn’t?

 This dreadful happenstance rocked his world and he was unable to cope any longer.  So he laid down on the booth with his cute little bum in the air and wailed:

“I hate dis place!  I am eating NUFFING here.  NUFFING!”

*cry, wail, sob*

Boy.  He sure showed us.

Little Dude was in rare form that day.

Kind of like . . . every other day.

  He spoke constantly in the “creepy bunny voice” I’ve told you about.

Do you remember it, dear readers?  Do you? 

I really do need to get this recorded for you so you can truly appreciate the severe creepiness of it.  But, anyways, it is this fakey, high-pitched voice that he uses to talk to his stuffed bunnies and puppies.

Sometimes he wakes us up with it, to further intensify the creepiness.  We will be sound asleep and then we hear him from the living room.

He sets up about 15 of his stuffed friends on the couch.  Then he loudly talks to them:

“Hi, Everybody!  Who wants breakfast?!”

He truly is the strangest kid we have ever met.

So, Little Dude was in non-stop Creepy Creeperton mode.  At one point, I tried to do that thing all moms do and lick my hand and wipe the ketchup off his face.

Don’t gasp, readers.  You do it, too.

And my boy decided to do it right back to me.  It was horrible.  He just kept licking his grimely little hand and smearing it all over my face, all while creepily saying:

“All clean, Mom!  All clean!”

And his tongue was yellow.

WHY WAS HIS TONGUE YELLOW?

I shudder at the thought.

So.  To further punish ourselves, we take them to see Cars 2.  If you are a Cars 2 fan, then I apologize, but boy that movie was not-so-good.

Longest 2 hours of my life.  And, this will shock you, but my husband fell asleep.  This is odd for him.

 So I was down a helper.

And an entire large diet soda spilled.

And we had 14 bathroom runs.

And Daisy Mae did flips on the bars.  Because she is seven and well-behaved.

And we aren’t taking them to the movies again until they are in college.

And thus ends my recap of Family Date Night.

***

We were given a cat this weekend!  He is a boy and apparently he will slaughter all mice on our lands, so he is already my favorite cat in the whole, wide world.

He already had a name, but my kids renamed him. 

The girls were on the phone with Bimlissa’s daughter, and they asked her what they should name their cat.

Her response?

Steam Boat Willie.

*giggle, giggle, chuckle, chuckle*

You know?  As in Steam Boat Willie . . .

source

Therefore, and henceforth, the cat formally known as the ferocious and manly “Cougar” has been demoted to the not so intimidating name of “Steam Boat Willie.”

And he already ran away.  Do we blame him? 

No.  No we do not.

He must have gotten tipped off by the rabbits.

“Beware!  Beware of the boy with the creepy, bunny voice!”

But we do hope he comes back.  He has mice to pulverize.

***

The girls told us yesterday that we were the meanest parents in the world because we would not let them have a lemonade stand.

A)  We didn’t have lemonade

B)  We don’t live near, like, passersby.

Nevertheless!  The girls felt they should be able to sit out and have a meet and greet with the neighbors.

So, they decided they would just sit out there and give away ice water.

To the nonexistent passersby.

Sadly, we had to put an end to that brilliance because my girls were taking bottled waters, opening them up and dumping them into a pitcher.

?

Because that makes sense.

So, then they marched around talking amongst themselves in voices loud enough so we would hear saying:

“Mom and Dad are so MEAN!”

“They never let us do anything fun!”

Um, hello?  Beach?  Red Robin?  Cars 2?  Steam Boat Willie?  896 Billion Rabbits?

But, I digress.

“Maybe we should just GO TO BED!”

Oh, darn.  That would be sad.

So, I took the kids on a walk up the road.  They wanted to ride their bikes, but I have a rule that if they are leaving our driveway, they must wear a helmet.  I know, it doesn’t make sense and they should always wear a helmet.

But that is not the point.

We have about 25 helmets that can never be found.  It is quite perplexing.  Anyways, I told the kids to forget about the bikes and I started up the road with three of the kids.

  Handsome Dude, who was being difficult, really wanted to ride his bike, but could not find his helmet.  I told him to just walk with me.

This did not please him.

But I leave anyways.

So, as I am walking I hear him wailing and wailing all the way from the garage. 

But what else is new?

Then the wailing gets louder and I turn and see this:

Ha!  Somebody gave us this huge motorcyle helmet or whatever it is and he found it.  But he couldn’t see a thing, so he is screaming and riding all crazy-like up the road.

It was humorous.

And he was trying to eat a popsicle, too.

And, he got it all over his glasses. 

Shocking.

So he handed me his glasses . . .

and was pleased with his awesomeness.

I hope you all had a lovely weekend!

Did you do anything fun?

Did you get a cat named Steam Boat Willie?

Did you take your kids to the movies?

Does your son talk in a creepy, bunny voice?

Please share, if you feel so inclined.

Happy Monday!

A Friday List.

1)  Do you remember how I asked you all what was growing in my garden?

Sure you do.

Good news!  This is not the first time I have been a ditz regarding home grown produce.

I would like to remind you of the Great Zucchini Debacle of 2009

You know.  When I shredded a “zucchini” so I could make “zucchini” bread . . . only to discover I was shredding a cucumber?

Life is hard for me.

2)  I made brownies last night.  And when I was getting ready to watch Lost, I put two in a bowl and headed upstairs for a good, ol’ gorge fest.

Me:  David, would you like a brownie?

David:  No, thanks.  I’m not hungry.

What is wrong with him? 

I would like you to know that I could only eat one.  I returned the other brownie to the pan.

What is wrong with me?

That has never, ever happened to me.  And I hope it never happens again.

3)  I am leaving the reservation today for the first time in 9 days.  Can you BELIEVE it?  I need to don my fancy jeans and uber cute earrings for this momentous occasion.

4)  I really do have a neighbor who is called Jungle.  You can’t make that stuff up, people.

5)  Before naps today, I was reading my boys a book.  We always read “Horton Hatches the Egg” or “Brown Bear, Brown Bear.”  As we were reading, I realized that Handsome Dude will be in Kindergarten next year.

This saddens me.

Why do they have to grow up so fast?

Even though my boys drive me Captain Insano, I really do like them.  They are so cute and they tell me I am “wee handsome.”  Will they always they I am “wee handsome?” 

It almost makes me want to have another one . . .

almost.

6.  The girls have two friends over today.

Jealous?

Anyways, we had a little “incident” this morning. 

A bird flew into my house!

A real bird!  Like, from the wild!

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Do you know how fluttery and flappy and poopy birds are?  Gives me the peepee shivers.

Do you guys know what peepee shivers are?

Do you?

Do you?

Anyways.  How should I know how to get a bird out of the house?  The last thing I need is for the bird to become injured or horribly maimed whilst in my home.

I don’t have time to nurse a bird back to health!

Yes.  I need to dust.  Get over it.

This poor bird lacked a brain.  It just kept hitting the window.  Over and over and over . . .   Unfortunately, Brainless Bird chose a window that does not open.  Anyways, me and the six children discussed all the different ways to catch this bird.

And I bribed them, yes I did.  I offered money and popsicles to any child brave enough to try to grab the bird and set it free amidst our rolling hills.

So.  They took me up on that offer.

First they threw several pieces of bread around the house.  Because that seems reasonable.

Then they freaked out and giggled and ran in place every time the bird moved.

They discussed all their options in their sassiest, pre-pre-teenaged voices.

And, finally, Sweet Pea, my sweet little farm and ranch girl, scooped up Brainless Bird in an empty Cool Whip container and set the bird free.

Go, Sweet Pea!

So, everyone got a popsicle and I remineded everyone to please REMEMBER TO SHUT THE DOOR, THANK YOU.

And on that note . . . farewell!

I am about to don my pearls and load up the rig!

What are you doing this weekend?

Tomorrow, I am cleaning my darn rental house (groan, poo, yuck) and then David and I are taking the kids to see Cars 2!

Do you know what there is to snack on at the movies, dear readers?

Do you?

Hmmmm?

Hmmmm?

Ok.  Bye.

PS-I don’t have pearls.

So, I was enjoying my morning cup of coffee and perusing my comments from yesterday’s post, when I came to some comments  that made me worry a bit more about the soon-to-be-coming plane that would be dropping the spray meant to kill the tree-killing moths.

Remember?  The moths?  Jungle?  Snakes?  Bears?  Do you people listen to me?

Anyways.

Interruption:  Thank you for the comments you leave!  I know it takes extra time, but it is always appreciated and they make me smile. 

That was not a shameless plug for more comments.

I promise.

I looked at the clock.  8am.  I was informed that the plane would be coming between 8 and 9am.  Therefore and henceforth, I decided I needed to fret about the rabbits.

Oh!  I’m sorry!  Did I not tell you?  We have 14 billion rabbits on our lands.  Such a blessing.

So, I gathered up my troops:

and we rushed outside to begin The Great Rabbit Evacuation of 2011.  It is no small feat to move 28 billion rabbits from their outside hutches to cages in the garage.

Especially when these are the troops working with you:

You know.  I try to be patient with life, but sometimes, I just have to admit that I never imagined myself  running around like a crazy person transferring 56 billion rabbits from inside to outside hutches.

Daisy Mae is almost as excited as me.  Daisy Mae informed me that she HATES living in Ruralville.  She likes the city and pedicures.

Tough break, Daisy Mae.

Tough break.

Speaking of Ruralville . . . I hate that word.  Why do we call my home that?  Whose idea was that?  Let’s change it!  Because we can!

All in favor?  Say aye!

We are supposed to be talking about rabbits.  Focus, people!

Have you ever tried to move a rabbit?  They are so bouncy and fluffy, it’s really quite vexing.  Gives me the peepee shivers and I just want to drop them.  Don’t you worry, dear readers, I did not drop any of them.  I was a good farm and ranch wife today.

I’m pretty sure that during the evacuation, the 56 billion rabbits doubled again to 112 billion rabbits.  That’s what bunnies do, you know.

You know what bunnies don’t do? 

Sell.

Ask me how I know.

Daisy Mae is just killing me here.  She is looking into the rabbit hutch and thinking to herself:

“How on earth did I become the caregiver to 224 billion bunnies?”

Kind of like how I look at my children and think:

“When did I have four kids?”

And, since I know Daisy Mae is entertaining you as well , here is another gem of a shot:

I need to get that girl in for a pedicure STAT.

Sweet Pea is like the Rabbit Whisperer.

She neeedeth not a pedicure.

So.  We rescued all 448 billion rabbits and then headed inside to take cover from the plane of doom.

Now, just so you all know, the plane was not spraying our lands.  Just our neighbors.

This plane provided joyous entertainment for the children.  It took about a half an hour and they had a great time watching it fly all around the house.

Sweet Pea:  That would be a FUN job!

Me:  Yeah.  You could be a pilot when you grow up!

Sweet Pea:  I mean, that’s almost as cool as a zookeeper.

Me:  Yup.

Sweet Pea:  Can anyone do anything they want when they grow up?

Me:  Yeah, for the most part.  You have to work hard at it though.  But if you want to do something, you should go for it!

Sweet Pea:  Oh!  Did you always dream of working at the hospital?

Me: *sigh*

Yes.  She is referring to my not-so-brief stint as a kitchen worker at the hospital. 

This job included a hairnet, nametag, and standard, uniform pants that would only button at my rib cage.

Comfy.

It was the job I had to take in order to get me through college.

Yes!  I did go to college!  And, yes!  I did finish!

I am a very well-education stay at home mom/rabbit evacuator.

So, we waited several hours and then we went back outside to begin the rehoming of all 896 billion rabbits.

Want to know what happens when you put rabbits in the garage?

Unforunate, no?

Alright.  I must sign off.  For I am making

B-R-O-W-N-I-E-S!

Works out well since I am just feigning to be on Weight Watchers.

Holla!