The Lumberjack's Wife

Yes.  Hello.  Good Morning.

On Saturday, we went to help David’s parents work at their property for a bit.  And when I say “we”, I, of course, mean David.

His parents are putting up sheets of something that resembled wood on the ceiling of their shop.

?

I think.  I don’t really know what was going on.  But I do know my husband is a superstar with a tool belt and a ladder.

It was quite the show.  I pulled up a chair to watch for a bit.  I figure that these are the sorts of things he must do all day whilst I am trapped in Ruralville homeschooling his offspring.

First, let us discuss his tool belt.  It has many contraptions, holders, hooks, pockets, nooks, and crannies.  It puts all womens’ purses to shame. 

So, as he is perched precariously on a ladder, he just swiftly pulls a hammer from behind him, uses it to do whatever-it-is he was doing, and then, without looking, he would just toss it behind his back and it would magically land in a special metal-ish hook in the tool belt.

Amazing!

So, he would be on a ladder.  This is scary enough for me in and of itself.  But, alas.  He would need to be across the room. 

But who has time to dismount the ladder and move it? 

Not my husband.

So, he would just swing his body and move the ladder while he was still on it in one, swift, dangerous move.

As a result of me seeing what he actually does when my watchful eye is not around, I fear I am going to have to request that he wears a safety helmet to work everyday.

I’m sure he won’t get made fun of by the other manly-men.

In other news, the sun came out this weekend.  And I am happy to report that I wore a 3/4 length sleeve shirt. 

Oh, yes.  I did.

We are not ready for short sleeves here in these parts.  But the 3/4 length sufficed.  I believe it reached-

Dare I say it?

60 degrees!

Holla!

On Easter Sunday, Handsome Dude was a bit confused.

Shocking.

Me:  We need to get ready!

HD (short for Handsome Dude . . . keep up!):  No!

Are we impressed with the boy’s obedience skills?

Me:  It’s Easter Sunday!

HD:  It is?!?  Yay!  Easter Sunday!  When will we get to Easter?

Me:  Huh?  We are not going to Easter.  We are going to church.

HD:  NO!  We are going to Easter.  To see God.  At Heaven.  Let’s go!

Me:  Buddy, we are not going to Heaven today.

HD:  YES WE ARE!

And then, in true Handsome Dude form, he threw himself on the ground in a fit of fury and rage.

So, that was festive.

After church, we went to my sister in law’s house and she put on a little egg hunt for the kids.

Little Dude.

Handsome Dude.  He’s looking confused.  Weird.

My niece . . .

“Just give me the candy and nobody gets hurt”

This is the only picture I have of my girls.  They were like flashes of pastel running about, showing the small children no mercy.

Sweet Pea’s dress was apparently even coming apart in the back as a result of gazelle-like swiftness.

The girls brought one of their bunnies to show their cousins.

On a side note, aren’t my nieces’ dresses cute?  They were crocheted by one of their loving aunts.

Ha!  Not me!

Her name is Rachel.  And she is more woman than I’ll ever be.

For I know not how to even sew on buttons.

Holla, Rachel!

So, there you have it.  A weekend recap.

I hope you all had a wonderful weekend!

PS-I am sorry that I used the word “holla” twice.  That is a bit excessive for a Monday morning.

PPS-Do you think it would be ok for me to cancel homeschooling so I can massively clean my house today?

PPPS-We are having guests over for dinner and I need to figure out how to make it look like no children live here.  Or dogs.  Or rabbits.  Or Lumberjackish husbands. 

Wish me luck!

What you are about to see is true.

It is a picture that I took from my back door on this, the morning of April 22nd, in the year 2011.

You saw it here first, folks.  Snow in the latter part of April.

And now, for your reading pleasure, I would like to give you a little sampling of what sorts of status updates my Facebook newsfeed page will be littered with today:

“Seriously?  Snow?!?!?!”

“That’s it.  I’m moving.  LOL.”

“Nooooooo.  Snow!”

“Somebody needs to tell Mother Nature that it is spring.”

“Can somebody help me find my sled?”

“I really, really miss my friend, Taylor.  Life is so dull without her.”

That would be from my dearheart friend, Bimlissa.  Pray for her.  She struggles without me.

“Snow!”

“I need sun!”

“Go away snow!”

“Ugh.  It’s snowing.”

Ah, yes.  Redundant, crazy weather postings.  It is one of the tragedies of Facebook that we must all endure.

***

Handsome Dude has been feeling a bit ill as of late.  He is currently moaning and groaning and certain he is in need of soda pop.

HD (short for Handsome Dude . . . keep up!):  Can I play outside in the snow?

Me:  Well, if you are sick, that might not be a good idea.

HD:  I not sick!

Me:  Dude!  You just said you were sick!

HD:  I am only sick in the house.  I am not sick outside.

Hmmm . . .

***

Little Dude thinks I am wee awesome.

He watches me get ready in the mornings . . .

“Mommy!  You wee handsome!”

Last night we were watching a movie and there was a pretty lady.

“I like her!  She like mommy!  She wee handsome!  I like her!”

Don’t be jealous, readers.  Not everyone can be as handsome as I.

***

In other news, we dyed Easter Eggs yesterday. 

I am a little hesitant to share this with you all, seeing as how you all thought I was uber weird for making my own laundry soap, but I made my own Easter Egg Dye.

Why?

Because who has time to go to the store? 

It was super simple.  Just 1tsp of vinegar, 1 1/2 cups hot water, and drops of food coloring.  See?  Easy.  And if the kids colored on the egg with crayons before dipping them in the color, they could make designs.

This one is “lellow.”

Sweet Pea has been full of pre-pre-teenage angst and been refusing to wear her glasses as of late.

And I am beginning to think that she thinks she is too cool for me.

Convenient.

Daisy Mae, however, thinks I am the bee’s knees.  Every little thing I do is magic and I am a “lubbely mudder.”

Little Dude.

*sigh*

Little Dude does not get the concept of “gentle.”  He dug his claws of death fingers into the poor eggs and even cracked one.

So, the kids ate it.

Here are the boys pretending to like it:

Did you know that I have a steadfast rule against children sitting on the countertops?

Are you impressed with my parenting skills?  Or skillz?  Whichever you prefer.

As we were coloring the eggs, snow started to fall.

Daisy Mae had been complaining of a “head-ick” all day long.  So she had those ridiculous whatever-they-are-called’s on her eyes all day to block out light.

Such drama for a 7 year old.  I wash my hands of it.

***

I hope you all have a wonderful Easter weekend.  We are in the process of watching The Ten Commandments with the kids . . . I cannot tell a lie . . . they are completely and udderly befuddled.  Yet, we shall press on and continue with this tradition.

I hope you remember the true meaning of Easter this year as you are celebrating with your family.

“These things I have spoken unto you, that in me you might have peace. In the world you shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world.” 

John 16:33 

Oh, how He loves you and me!

Let us talk about organization today, shall we?

As you can all imagine, I am super organized and never fail in any of my endeavors.

True.  My purse might have some room for improvement.

Things you are sure to find in my purse:

1)  Coupons.  Most are probably expired.  Yet, I keep them around for nostalgic purposes.

2)  Chapstick.  The lid will be missing.  (I blame the children)

3)  Gum.  Half opened and filled with crumbs. (I blame the children.)

4)  An old diaper.  Not used.  I am not disgusting.  I am just lazy.

5)  Small trains and cars.  These are my life blood and have saved me from many a predicament with my boys.

Would you believe that somehow my Costco card “fell” out of my wallet and was severed in half in the bottom of my purse?

How does this happen?

I blame the children.

Note:  Children are also good to blame for:  bad hair days, no “cute” clothes, missing earrings, tummy fat, being late, and a dirty house. 

So . . . how do I stay organized? 

Well.  I am not.  Really.  But I don’t think I am a complete failure. 

 Here is a random list of things I do to try and keep things running ship-shape.

And I use the phrase “ship-shape” quite loosely.

1)  I do about two loads of laundry a day.  This is awful and dreadful.  But it is better than having a mountain of laundry glaring at you every day.

2)  I do not exercise.  Who has time for it?  No.  I have other things to do.  Like laundry.  See?!   I finally came up with a good reason to not exercise.

3)  I like to buy chicken breasts when they are on sale.  Then I cook and shred them and freeze smaller portions to make dinners easier later on.

Reality:  I have done this twice.  But you can pretend you are impressed.

4)  Coming up with this list is much harder than I had anticipated it would be.  Perhaps I have been deceived in just how organized I think I am?

5)  I make lists!  Yes.  Lists are good.  I make lists of chores that need to be done.  Then I run out of time and see that there is no way I can accomplish such things.  So I throw it away and pretend it never existed.

6)  I make lists for my two older kids of chores they can do.  I do not give them the aforementioned option of throwing out their lists.  Nay.  They shall do it.  And they will like it.

7)  I pack things I need to get out the door in the morning the night before.

8)  Amazingly, I am still late to everything.

9)  I try to always make sure the dishwasher is empty before dinner.  This may sound like a dumb one.  And if so, just ignore it.

10)  I try to go through all the kids clothes 2-3 times a year and donate all items we won’t use anymore.

That’s all I got.

Don’t pretend you aren’t inspired.

What are your tips on staying organized? 

Please share.

Not that I need the help . . .

But others might.

***

I wanted to share with you all a cute story.  Do you remember how when I was potty training Little Dude, I would show him his Thomas the Train underwear and tell him not to pee on Thomas’ face?

Sure you do.

Anyways.  This morning, he had to go potty, but he was having trouble unbuttoning his pants.

Alas.  He didn’t get on the toilet in time.  He peed in his underwear.

Oh, for the devastation.

“I peed on Thomas!  I peed on Thomas!”

He cried and cried.

He found it disheartening, to say the least.  He just kept saying he was sorry to his good friend, Thomas.

I found it precious and hilarious.  And messy.

Let us hope that his mother’s brilliant potty-training methods will not scar him for life.

Happy Thursday!

(I am linking up to Kelly’s Korner today.  Click on the link to see more tips from other bloggers on organization.  I am sure they will be more helpful than I was.)

Awhile back, I was asked to share with you all how I make my own laundry soap.

I know what you are thinking . . .

“Can this girl get any weirder?!”

Probably.

But, that’s not the point.

I suppose these are the sorts of things people do once they move out into the middle of nowhere and start homeschooling their children.

But, I digress.

Raising four kids on one income is tricky.  Therefore and henceforth, I am trying to embrace frugality.  It does not come easily to me.

I found this recipe for liquid laundry soap off of the Duggar Website.

Homemade Laundry Detergent

You will need:

1- 5 gallon bucket

1-Fels Naptha bar or bar of Ivory soap

1 cup of Arm and Hammer Super Washing Soda

1/2 cup of Borax

Lots of hot water and some containers will help.

1.  Grate the bar of soap and add it to a saucepan with water.  Stir continually over medium-low heat, or until soap dissolves and is melted.

2. Fill a 5 gallon bucket half full of hot tap water. Add melted soap, washing soda and Borax. Stir well until all powder is dissolved. Fill bucket to top with more hot water. Stir, cover and let sit overnight to thicken.

3. Stir and fill a used, clean, laundry soap dispenser half full with soap and then fill rest of way with water. Shake before each use. (will gel)

-Optional: You can add 10-15 drops of essential oil per 2 gallons. Add once soap has cooled. Ideas: lavender, rosemary, tea tree oil.

-Yield: Liquid soap recipe makes 10 gallons.

-Top Load Machine- 5/8 Cup per load (Approx. 180 loads)

-Front Load Machines- ¼ Cup per load (Approx. 640 loads)

Tips: 

1.  Start saving old liquid laundry soap containers.

2.  I had a hard time finding all the ingredients at first.  But all three of the items needed were found in the laundry aisle at Fred Meyer. 

3.  I had already purchased a 5 gallon bucket from Home Depot a few years ago.  I think it was around $5?

So far, it is working great!  I have had no problems and have used it since the beginning of November.  My laundry does not have that clean scent to it, though.  I have never added any scented oils.

Did that fascinate you, dear readers?

Well, good news!  I have another tip!

Cheap Fabric Softener

Take another bucket or large-ish container.

(I used an old, large, plastic animal cracker tub from Costco)

Buy a container of name brand fabric softener and add it to your container.  Fill the container twice with water and add it.

Take a cheap sponge and cut it in half.  Add it to your container.

(I used a few sponges-mine get lost . . . )

When you put your clothes into the dryer, take out one sponge, squeeze out the excess liquid, and add it to the dryer as you would a dryer sheet.

***

My husband is extremely thrilled that I have accomplished this.  I fear he believes I am “joining his team.”

I said it before, and I’ll say it again:  I will not reuse Ziplock bags.

In other news, I am also planning on making my own Easter egg dye.

Next year, to save on butchering costs, I plan to butcher all of my husband’s fresh game.

I kid!  I jest!

If you ever, ever hear of me butchering any sort of animal, please send a rescue mission out here post haste.

(Not that there’s anything wrong with that)

Happy Wednesday!

PS-I would love to hear anyone else’s tips on saving money!  Share your ideas if you can!

What I saw when I looked out my window this morning:

I shall call him, “Easter Dinner.”

I kid!  I jest! 

I know not how to fire a weapon.

This is what I saw out my window this afternoon:

I call it, “Snow.”

There’s no SNOWING in APRIL!

Blah.

Today was a busy day with lots of homeschooling to do.

Blah.

Pop Quiz, Hot Shots:  How does one teach different grade levels for each subject without losing her mind?

How on earth shall I do this when the boys are also needing to be studious?

After science class today (with the new science curriculum that I ordered . . . and we love!), Handsome Dude decided to take over and instruct the girls on some theology.

Bless his heart.

Handsome Dude:  Jesus died on the cross. 

Sweet Pea:  Who did Jesus die for?

Handsome Dude:  He died for God. 

 Handsome Dude:  And then the angels came.  And they ate Jesus.

Daisy Mae: Um . . .

Handsome Dude:  And God is everywhere.  Except if you hide in rocks.  Then He can’t see you.   I can see God’s shirt.  But I not find His legs?

I had to interrupt this intriguing lesson before my kids got any weirder.

Plus, I had to do a “hands check” with Handsome Dude.

I am exhausted.  And I ate a very large piece of leftover carrot cake just to get me through the lessons.

It was, in fact, delicious.

That is all.

We are back from camping!  We survived!  We (dare I say it?)had fun!

I didn’t actually realize that the campground we were going to had “hookups.”

That’s fancy trailer talk for water and power.

So . . . yeah.  I took a shower . . . used the hair dryer . . . listened to Pandora . . . brewed hot coffee . . .

It was pretty rough.

Right before we left our house, the kids and I finished theTitanic cake for my dad’s birthday.

Yes.  Laugh if you must.

However, my children deemed me the most awesomest cake maker in the world.  Apparently, I should open up a “cake store.”

When Sweet Pea read that I wrote, “Have an UNSINKABLE day!,” she could barely contain herself.  Clearly, I rock.

(Please note that in the above picture Little Dude is naked.  This is proof that I am not a liar.  That boy is always naked these days.)

Camping wasn’t as cold as I had anticipated.  We were the only fools camping, so we had the entire campground to ourselves.  The girls decided to go “dirt-biking.”

Methinks they took the word “dirt-biking” a little too literally.

Brilliant, are they not?

This was Lucy’s first time camping.  She did great!

She is reminding me of Mabel (our first dog) more and more.

*Gasp!*

Is my husband laughing at my cake?!  Is my father?!

Perhaps I am not as magnificent as my kids claim me to be?

Sweet Pea and PopPop.

PopPop with all the grandkids.

After the birthday festivities, we decided to take a walk.  We walked and walked.  Then we saw a hill, and we were inspired to climb it in hopes of seeing fantastic views of the lake.

Instead, we saw fantastic views of a water treatment plant.

It was discouraging.

Sister Meagan. of whom I neglected to photograph, stayed behind with Little Dude and Sweet Pea whilst we were walking.

Therefore, Sister Meagan had the priviledge of helping Little Dude use the “tray-wer tullet.”

Sister Meagan to Sweet Pea:  Hey!   Does he need help wiping after he goes poo?

Sweet Pea:  Yup.

Sister Meagan:  How do I do it?

Sweet Pea:  Pretend it is your bottom.  Just wipe him like you would wipe your own.

My girl is brilliant.

Later on, I took Daisy Mae on a bike ride to a part of the state park that had a little bridge and boardwalk in a marshy area.

We saw a heron, ducks, and other various sorts of exciting waterfowl.

On our bikeride back, we got stuck in a hail/rain/thunder storm.

So, that was fun.

On Sunday, we had breakfast and packed up to go.  Before we left, we took a quick walk.

We were a bit miffed that the sun decided to come out 10 minutes before we left.

Little Dude was dressed appropriately.

“Fat man in a little coat . . . “

(Name that actor)

So.  We survived.  Apparently, you can camp in April.

Who knew?!

Happy Monday!

Now.  Imagine that title being said by Tom Hanks in “League of her Own.”

Remember?

“There’s no crying in baseball!”

See?

There’s no camping in APRIL!

But, alas.  Who has two thumbs and is going camping promptly upon her husband’s homecoming?

This girl.

At least the weather is cooperating.

You may ask, “Taylor!  Why on earth do you agree to such nonsense?”

Well, dear readers, I have discovered that life is not all about me.

I know.  It was a shock to me as well.

This morning I was awakened at 6am by a naked (surprise) Little Dude.  He was holding his underwear in his hands, running in place, and shouting:

“Camping-time!  Camping-time!  Camping-time!”

I could not share in his joy until after I had some coffee and confirmed that he had not wet his bed.

He didn’t! 

Holla!

It is sad that dry underwear and coffee are what excite me most in life now, is it not?

Anyways.  Camping is really fun for the kids, so therefore, me and my bad hair shall attend.

But we don’t have to like it.

***

Last night, David came into the house and informed me that he needed my help with the camp trailer.

I thought he was talking crazy-talk, seeing as how I don’t tow anything.  Ever.  Nor does he want me to.

Turns out the camp trailer was stuck.

Fun Fact:  David is notorious for getting things stuck.

Whether it be during one of his Proud Drivers Against the Use of Four Wheel Drive Moments or if he is just trying to test the limits of something, it is not rare for him to get something stuck.

Funner Fact:  The one and only time I went wood cutting with David, he got us stuck on top of a mountain.  And we had to hike 10 miles out.  And the grandparents, who knew we were missing and presumed us dead (whatever), began arguing over who would take my sweet cherubs.  True, the boys had not been born yet.  Perhaps things would be different today?  I kid!  Kind of.

So, he needed my help to pull the trailer out.

If he needed my help, you can be assured he was desperate.

What on earth was his plan?

Well.

I was to drive the Excursion and he was to drive the dozer.  The dozer was towing the Excursion, the Excursion was towing the trailer.

Keep up, people!

See?  I knew there had to be a reason for him to buy that dang dozer.

Why was it stuck?

Because the ground was so wet from all the rain.

May I remind you that THERE’S NO CAMPING IN APRIL!!!

But, I digress.

The dozer pulled us up, but then the Excursion/trailer was tilting greatly over and I was quite certain everything was going to fall over.

This was my view:

David assured me I would not fall over.

And I didn’t.

I had to put on my big-girl-towing-a-trailer-pants and negotiate a turn with this trailer.

David:  Taylor.  You have to turn it like blah-blah-blah and yada yada yada or else you will hit the trailer into the house.

Me:  Huh?

David:  You will be fine.

Me:  Huh?

I don’t mean to tootle my own horn, but . . .

I got ‘er done.

And now, I shall bid you adieu.

I have some more food to prep and a Titanic cake to assemble.

Happy Weekend!

On Wednesdays, we pack up and pull out by 8am.

I can assure you this is no easy feat.

Since it is usually our only weekday in town, we pack a lot of events into this day.  The girls have piano lessons from 9-10.  I do any shopping I need to do, errands,  glasses repairs (*sigh*), doctor appointments, play dates, and so on and so forth.  We end the day with the kids at Awana and David and I at our home group.  We get home at 10:30pm and wonder what on earth we were thinking when we created this monster called Wednesday.

So.  Apparently as I was looking over the Wednesday funtivities, I decided we needed more stuff to cram in there.

Therefore and henceforth, I signed up Handsome Dude for swimming lessons on Wednesdays.

Dude has been looking forward to this ever since his Grams bought him some swimming lessons for his birthday.  Dude has been talking about swimming lessons constantly.  Dude told all peoples around him about this exciting event.  Dude gloated to all his siblings that he would be swimming, and, sadly, they would not.  Dude informed everyone that he simply could not wait to swim.

Alas.  Dude is a liar.

We arrived at the swim lessons.  All was well until I had the audacity to tell Dude that he needed to change into his swimsuit.  Apparently, he finds this unacceptable.

It all went downhill from there.

So, there I was, brand new to swim lessons.  I have my two boys with me (girls were playing at a friend’s house). 

Little Dude is donning his clunky cowboy boots, of which he wears daily, and crying because I won’t let him get in the water.

Handsome Dude is wearing swim trunks that are too big for him.  They are hiked up to his rib cage and folded over.  He is shaking and cowering and crying that he is too cold and would like to go home.

Helpful, concerned parents of other children kept coming over to try to talk to him.  They assured him that the water was warm, that swimming was fun, and that he looked uber handsome in his swim trunks (I cannot tell a lie, he did look quite fetching).

One helpful parent decided to try to come and coax Handsome Dude into the pool, bless her heart.

For the purposes of this blog, we shall call her Gladys.  Simply for the fact that Gladys is a fantastic name.

Gladys:  Well, hello there, big guy!

*Handsome Dude buries his head into my stomach* 

(I cannot blame him.  It has pillow-like qualities)

Gladys:  I can tell you are a big guy!  Are you 6 or are you 7?

*Handsome dude is now completely behind me to get away from Gladys*

No.  Handsome Dude is not 6 or 7.  He is four and freakishly tall.  With uber handsome swim trunks.

Gladys:  Well, big guy!  You are going to love it!  My little girl is in there . . . can you see her?  She would like to swim with you.

*Handsome Dude is now crouched on the floor behind the chair, desperately trying to get away from Gladys*

One must wonder if my kids need to get out and see humans more, no?

And so the lesson started.  Handsome Dude remained crying and shivering and refusing to participate.

Convenient.

I was at a loss as to what to do.  My girls have never, ever acted like that.  It totally bugs me that he would not get into the pool. 

For 20 minutes, he did this.  Finally he would get brave enough to walk near the vicinity of the pool, but then the teacher would foolishly speak to him, and back he would go to crouch and cower and hide.

So, I did what any annoyed parent would do.  I bribed him. 

Don’t judge me. 

And he finally made it into the pool.

Which resulted in everyone clapping and cheering for him.  Which, in turn, resulted in me rolling my eyes.  Kidding.  Kind of.

And wouldn’t you know it, he loved it.

We do, however, need to work on his teacher/student skills.

Teacher:  Dude, can you please put on your goggles?

Dude:  No.

Teacher:  Dude, would you like to come and swim with me?

Dude:  No.

Fantastic!

He did, finally, warm up to her and participate.  They started to play a game and she asked all the kids questions.

Handsome Dude, cross-eyed from no glasses, raised his hand to answer her.

Teacher:  Yes, Dude?

And there he sat.  Proud as can be.  Hand in the air.  Eyes crossed.  Saying nothing. Smiling.

Just raising his hand.

Teacher:  Yes, Dude?

Nothing.  Just raising his hand.

Teacher:  Dude?  Did you want to say anything?

Nothing.  Nope.  Nada.

I am not sure if I should homeschool that one.  He might already be too far gone.

***

After swim, we picked up cousins and went to hang out at their house.  Little Dude and my niece, Little Miss, are about 6 months apart.

Little Miss:  My daddy works for stoves!

Little Dude:  My daddy-my daddy-my-daddy . . . works ice cream!

Little Miss looks at him like he is crazy.

And rightfully so.

Little Miss:  Huh?

Little Dude:  Ice cream!  Yummy yummy!

Me:  Daddy doesn’t work for ice cream.

Little Dude:  No, Mom!  DAVE works for ice cream.

Oh.  Pardon me.

***

In other news that you don’t need to know, I have started to compost.

Just cuz.

I greatly dislike when people spell because, “cuz.”  Thoughts?

Alright.  After examing this post, I have decided that I am not sure what the point is.  Sorry to have wasted your time.

I need to begin packing for camping.

Yes.  Please feel bad for me, seeing how it snowed a bit yesterday.

Good news:  I shall not have to pack my swimsuit.

Happy Thursday and Happy Birthday to my Dad!

He is obviously getting hipper with age.