The End is Near.

A Friday List.

1.  Oh.  My.  Gosh.  Becky.

(Name that song)

Well.  You are simply not going to believe this.  The girls have a slumber party at one set of grandparents house tonight and the boys have a sleepover at the other set.

Notice how neither grandparental set has taken on all 4 of them at once.  This is because they are exhausting and, clearly, I need a medal.

We did not even try to work all this sleep-over-ness out.  It just happened, as luck would have it.

Now.

The Lumberjack and I should take advantage of this once in a lifetime occurrence and go on a, dare I say it, “date.” 

*However*

We are feeling poor.  You know, with Christmas and plane tickets and 400lb pigs and upcoming road trips and whatnot.

Our budget would allow us to stay home, turn off the heat and lights to save on electricity, and eat cold beans out of a can.

But we are probably going to throw caution to the wind and go to a movie.

We owe it to all the parents out there who have awaited a golden opportunity, such as this, to arise.

2. Today is my friend, Amanda’s, THIRTIETH birthday.  I went to write on her Facebook wall and it (“it” being the wall . . . keep up, non-Facebook readers!) informed me that Amanda, in all her coolness, had upgraded to the *new* Facebook profile.

New Facebook profiles?  I am always behind the times.

I could not find her wall.  So I poked her!  ha!  What is poking?  I think it sounds naughty, but that is just cause I am immature and not yet THIRTY.  Amanda will probably roll her elderly eyes at my childlike humor.

Everyone please yell, “Happy Birthday, Amanda!” at your computer-ish devices.

*Thank you*

3.  On Monday, I resolved to exercise everyday for a month.  I have not exercised since Monday.  My discipline is impressive, is it not?

4.  My one goal yesterday was to finish the Christmas cards.  I have not finished them.  Again, I find myself questioning my discipline.

5.  The Lumberjack hung his buck antlers in our Christmas tree, dear friends!  It was something I had not anticipated in all my wicked planning to keep deer mounts off my walls.

Epic Fail:  I didn’t take a picture.

Now you will all think I am a liar.

But, I double pinky swear it is true and the only reason I did not take a picture of it for you on this very morn is because it is off to compete in the local “Who done killed the biggest deer?” contest at the sportsman’s store.

Godspeed, Lumberjack.

Godspeed.

6.  It is snowing.

7.  It is now time for the COW.  I am a little random with the COW these days.  I am feeling frisky today, and therefore, we shall have a COW this week.

(source)

This week’s COW (comment of the week) goes to The Queen of the Brussels Sprouts:

A story to top your pee story…and make you feel a lot less nasty.

When Princess Hope was about 6 months old, she didn’t sleep…ever. When she pooped…it went EVERYWHERE! We lived in “almost Canada”, and it snowed a lot.
One day, even though it was snowing, and she had decided that day was “poop everywhere day”, we HAD to go to the grocery store, for the only thing left in the pantry was a jar of salsa.

So, of course, I bundle up a wiggly baby, bundle up a tired mommy, buckle said bundled wiggly baby into the car, buckle said mommy into the car, drive to the grocery store, unbuckle mommy, unbuckle baby, grab diaper bag, shuffle into store, find cart, put cart cover on cart, buckle baby, unbundle baby, unbundle mommy, proceed to shop….

Then, I looked down. Right there, smack dab in the middle of the front of my shirt was…you guessed it…poo. Breast fed babies have very runny poo. It also is sticky. I paused for a few seconds, looked down, looked at my list, looked at the baby, looked around me…and kept on shopping. At that very moment in time, I knew I had entered into the sacred sisterhood of mommy-hood. The place where you just don’t care if baby poo is on your shirt and you are grocery shopping. A few swipes with a baby wipe, and I preteneded all was well. There was no way in heck I was going to back track all the way home, buckling and bundling, unbuckling and un bundling…just to change my shirt because of a little poo.

there you go. NASTY! But, I am a mom, and nasty doesn’t seem to bother me anymore.

**

There.  A little birth control for you all.

8.  Lastly, I am feeling like life is spinning out of control and I am in a “my babies are not babies and my girls are practically in college and I am almost 30 and the end is near and my hair might be turning gray soon and just yesterday I got married so all this is crazy and how did I end up in Ruralville and when did I have four kids and I am homeschooling and my kids are growing up and I am not ready to be done with the baby stage but I am definitely ready to be done with the baby stage and why do they grow up so fast and when will they leave me alone and why can’t they stay little forever” kind of stage.

Sometimes I think back on my childhood and remember all sorts of fun, magical memories of the holidays with my family and I wonder if I am doing the same for my children.

If you have a spare moment, could you leave an idea for a fun, family tradition you do during the holidays in the comments section?

It would be most appreciated.

And with that, Happy Friday!

I shall think of all you poor, pathetic parents stuck in parentland and diapers whilst I am kidless for an ENTIRE NIGHT.

Neener.  Neener.

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36 Responses to The End is Near.

  1. A few years ago we decided that Christmas Day is for relaxing. So we stay in our jammies and eat leftovers from the night before for lunch. Mid-afternoon or early evening we finally get dressed and go to the movies and have popcorn for dinner.

    Clearly we are deeply spiritual people, ’cause we try to pick the most religious of the holiday fare. This year it shall be Voyage of the Dawn Treader. 2 years ago it was Alvin and the Chipmunks.

    Okay, so maybe that wasn’t really spiritual. We do the best we can.

  2. Amanda says:

    Thanks for acknowledging my birthday not once but twice on the world wide web! I feel special!

  3. Joyce says:

    We hide a pickle ornament on the tree and whoever finds it gets ? Nothing I guess but the excitement is in the hunt.
    We bake cookies together.
    We work a jigsaw puzzle over the Christmas holidays.
    Hubs reads aloud- Twas the night before Christmas on the night before Christmas. Yes, still.
    We open one present Christmas Eve-always pj or pj related.
    We write a note to Santa (still) and leave milk and cookies.

    I’m sure you are making many a memory for your kiddos.
    And if it makes you feel any better-your #3 and #4 are identical to mine. I have given up wondering about my self discipline…I’d like to say it disappeared into thin air but truth be told, I don’t think I ever had any to begin with.

  4. Jean von B says:

    We do Christmas Eve with the extended family so Christmas Day has always been just for the 4 of us. I will usually make a nice big meal but it has to be something that I don’t have to mess with too much – just throw it in the oven and wait for the timer to ding. This year it will be lasagne. This year will be a bit different because it will be 1st time my oldest son won’t be with us. He’s working both Xmas eve and day. I suppose its time I get used to it, but it makes me a little sad. Never fear though – if the kid knows there’s homemade lasagne at home, he’ll get there even if he has to walk! 🙂

  5. MaryGene says:

    I guarantee your kids are loving every minute of their childhood, especially Christmas. To a kid, what is there in the whole world better than Christmas?? (In your case, possibly huckleberry picking, but that’s beside the point).

  6. MaryGene says:

    PS, enjoy your date night!! 🙂

  7. Melissa says:

    I need some new tradition ideas, too! We do the jigsaw puzzle every year, pj’s and book for christmas eve present, cinnamon rolls for breakfast, drive around to look at lights with a peppermint mocha (yum!), and the kids pick a new ornament each year. You want to hear something funny? While I was reading the “cow” and feeding my baby – he did one of those big nasty breastfeed baby poops!! Great timing =)

  8. Jessy H. says:

    We open two gifts Christmas Eve (one is always pj’s) then we either go to a friends or they come over to our house for dinner and the kids exchange gifts. Christmas morning we, along with my husbands family, goes to our church at 5a.m to light luminaries before people start arriving for 6a.m Christmas morning service. After church, we go home, see if Santa ate his cookies and open presents. Then I make breakfast and we play with our gifts until we have to leave for our parent’s houses.

    • Leah says:

      no offense, Jessy, but 5am does not sound appealing
      nor does it sound like a ‘fun, magical holiday tradition’
      but more power to you!

      • Jessy H. says:

        Trust me at first I didn’t like 5a.m, I thought my in-laws were crazy, but last year my son (who was 3) made it all worth it. He was so excited to go to church and help us put the candles out and light them. He has already asked this year when we get to light candles at church.

  9. Jill says:

    I’m not trying to be nasty, but I must say I’m glad I’m not a part of Jessy H’s family because I would not want to be up and out that early on Christmas morning. Just sayin’.

    Your kids are doing fine. They are still very young, and so are you. I know this for a fact because if they aren’t and you aren’t then I’m not. Because I am older than you.

    I am not surprised the antlers showed up on the tree. Give the poor man a spot to hang his trophy, because he will find a spot to annoy you if you don’t. I speak from experience.

    Ihad ambitious goals for my Christmas cards, but I forgot them until you mentioned yours. Now I’m in a panic because I haven’t even started on mine yet. Thanks for upping my stress level.

    We are taking bets on facebook as to which one of you will fall asleep first on date night. : )

  10. Katie says:

    Oooo…date night! Have a blast, my friend!

    As far as Christmas memories, last year my aunt bought those popper things and a bunch of paper crowns to Christmas dinner. No, I don’t really know why, but the pictures were hilarious.

  11. Heather in ND says:

    But… but… your post… isn’t… centered.

    I am surprised nobody else has commented on this?

    A date for you and LJ? WOOHOO!!! 🙂

  12. Jen V. says:

    1. look at her butt! Baby Got Back! Really no one else mentioned that?

    A couple traditions: advent wreath and calendar. These seem to have gone by the wayside for many people that I know, but we always did it when I was young, and so do my kids. They love the candles and reading the advent calendar (and I mean the ones where they have Bible verses that tell the Christmas story, none of this candy/toy business for me). And a new tradition we have started is to read together “The Best Christmas Pageant Ever.” Great book.

  13. MindyLou says:

    The Best Christmas Pageant Ever!!!!??? Someone else knows about that book?? I am so happy. We always read that book when we were kids, and it.is.hilarious. You MUST read it. The Herdman’s are awesome. That’s all I’m saying. Anyway, you’re girls would think that book is really funny, so you could read it together. Just a thought. I guess we are still trying to figure out what our traditions are gonna be. Of course, we do the one present Christmas Eve, and the past couple of years we have got the kiddos a new movie, and then after the presents are opened we watch the movie together while eating all sorts of yummy finger foods. So, what traditions are you currently doing??
    Also, I believe Brian is also entering his elk and buck into that same contest, and he’s hoping for a big prize. Good luck, LJ!

  14. Jill says:

    I was kidding about the facebook betting thing. I have no idea how to set something like that up. I have no idea how to give odds on something like that. I have no idea what kind of backlash I’d get from gambling when I’m a pastor’s wife. I do have a pretty good idea that if you all stayed home you’d end up falling asleep because of the sheer quiet of the kidless evening out there in Ruralville. : ) Have a great night!

  15. Erin says:

    We don’t really have many (any) traditions either. I want to, but not sure how to start.
    Moving every three years doesn’t help.

    Have fun tonight! We’re going out to a Christmas party sans children 🙂
    Only we aren’t leaving them overnight, so we wont get the best benefit– Sleeping IN!

    • Erin, I hear you about the moving! We went for a drive to look at lights tonight, and realized that next year we will be driving around a totally different town in a totally different state. However, we have managed to hang tight to our bon-fire tradition. Some years, it was a tiny little fire in an outdoor chimenea (how on earth do you spell that). 14 year of marriage, and 7 moves hasn’t made it easy, but we just refuse to give it up!

  16. Melissa K says:

    We do some of the same ones others have mentioned, such as a new ornament every year and new pj’s on Christmas Eve.

    This year we started doing the Jesse Tree Advent (free download at http://www.aholyexperience.com/2010/11/free-jesse-tree-advent-devotional-book/) It’s wonderful. The devotional part is a bit “over the heads” of the younger ones, but I figure it will eventually start to sink in and make sense over the years. I love the focus that it brings. And that it’s all written out for me!

    On Christmas Eve, we eat pizza & root beer floats and then watch A Charlie Brown Christmas. We started this when we only had two kids and they were really small, and they love it. Even my 3 y.o. remembers the root beer floats from last year and was asking the other day if we’re going to have them again. 🙂

    We’re also hoping to go look at the light display on a nearby lake and maybe even take the boat tour they offer since kids are free.

    I’m jealous that it’s snowing there…

    • Melissa K says:

      P.S. We’re just the opposite of you tonight–we’re taking our friends’ three kids overnight so that they can have a date. They did this for us last month, and it was the first time we’ve spent the night alone in our house for almost 10 years. Very weird! And quiet. Let’s not forget that part. 🙂

  17. 1st- Thanks! I really just wanted to encourage you…and I get to be the COW. Funny, I am excited about being a COW. I need therapy.

    2nd- Those silly cheap Advent chocolate calendars…kids can’t have December without them.

    Our most treasured Christmas tradition is Christmas Eve. We have a big bon-fire, eat ridiculous quantities of absolutely unhealthy food, drink gallons of hot sweet beverages (cocoa, tea, cider, coffee), and sing carols until we either fall asleep or it is midnight.

    Oh yeah, we always read the Chiristmas story from the Bible around the fire.

  18. Gina says:

    1. Have a great date! DH & I are having date day & night tomorrow. Our 6 yr old boy is going to gma’s for the day and sleeping over.
    2. HAPPY BIRTHDAY AMANDA!
    3. Hilarious COW 😀
    4. They do grow up super duper fast and believe me, you are creating some crazy, fun memories for your kiddos. You’ll be surprised at the ones they’ll remember. My 20 & 18 year olds bring up some crazy things.

  19. Deb says:

    Oh My Gosh Becky, Look at Her Butt!

    I like big butts and I cannot lie
    You other brothers can’t deny
    When a girl walks in with an itty-bitty waist
    And a round thing in your face…

    And also – DUDE with whining about being almost 30! Holy Crap, Taylor, you have 4 kids and your number still starts with a 2! You’ve got it pretty good! You will be young and hip enough to Party Hearty and Live Large when your kids are grown! You will be a young, fun grandmother (in many, many years. do not panic)!

    I, on the other hand, am staring down f–fff—-forty like it was the muzzle of a gun. I have two kids who are 6 and 4 and JUST TODAY I got my foot peed on by one of them. When my mom was my age, I was in COLLEGE. When MY kids are in college, I shall be able to visit them only if my geezer-home lets me out and I can find my teeth.

    In summary: You are NOT old. You are not even in the vicinity of old.

    So there.

    Dadgum whipper-snappers.

  20. Gianna says:

    I love your posts! I love them love them love them.
    My husband and I are supposed to be watching a movie (and I am supposed to be scrapbooking), but we are watching TV. In our defense, I think we are waiting for our 2 year old to go to sleep (or at least stop bugging his sisters!), but I wouldn’t know for sure as we haven’t talked about anything!

  21. DAD says:

    Have you forgottten that your mother and I watched all four for over a week?

  22. Momma Mindy says:

    Sister, sister. If you are alone with your hubby for a night, you should NOT be on Blogger. Without going into explicit details, because we are all Christian mommy bloggers, I think you should shut. your. computer. off.

    But, since you asked, our Christmas breakfast is those nasty pop-from-the-can cinnamon rolls, NO, I don’t make my own and then finding the stockings that I hid. Don’t ask how many times I hid a stocking in the oven and we baked it while pre-heating the oven for our from the little tube cinnamon rolls that we ALWAYS burn. Yea, so to summarize our traditions, burned cinnamon rolls and burned stockings. And you think YOUR life is exciting?!?!

  23. Debra says:

    Taylor, your dad is commenting! How advanced is that!!! I love your dad. 🙂

  24. mom says:

    Clearly you have forgotten your trip to Cancun in February when we had our four lovely grandchildren for more than one week, I do believe your advancing years may have caused your lapse in memory. We just finished dancing around the living room for the thirtieth something time to Happiest Christmas tree! Actually, the deer antlers in the tree sound like a theme that I wouldn’t mind working on, I think I could do great tree decorating with them. Perhaps Dave could let me try sometime. Enjoy your morning with no one in tow!

  25. Heather (nurse Heather) says:

    Wow, both Dad AND Mom have commented! Quite impressive 🙂 I hope you are enjoying your time alone. We all need a little break sometime.
    One Christmas tradition is that we open 1 present on Christmas Eve. The boys love it.
    Have a wonderful day!

  26. Vicki B says:

    One of those Advent calender houses from Costco is the grandkids favorite thing. Amazing what a bag of Dove milk chocolate can do! This year we made Shortbread cookies and they had a ball since Scottish lore says it’s the hands of the baker in the dough that gives a specialness. The kids always want a can of those orange cinnamon roll things. Only time of year I buy them. The biggest thing is packing up hot chocolate and riding around looking at Christmas lights whilst listening to Christmas songs. This year I’d like to make felt mittens with each of the girls hand prints. I got that idea from
    http://www.cherrymenlove.com/

    Y’all enjoy your special night!

  27. Marla says:

    Okay, I don’t have kids yet, but I hope to one day use this tradition. First, I will start buying Christmas books for kids. I’ll have some with fun ones, some traditional ones, and some that tell the true story of Christmas. Hopefully, I will get 25 at some point. Anyway, I will wrap up all the books and then have my future children unwrap them each night as we count down Christmas. I think it would be totally awesome and a great tradition.

    I hope you had a good date night. 🙂

    Marla @ http://www.asthefarmturns.wordpress.com

  28. When the kids were little, we pixied. We spent a Sunday afternoon making goodies and assembling baskets, then each child got to pick a family to visit. We would put the basket on the front porch, ring the bell, and RUN! It was such fun to see the door open and the people inside look around and discover the basket. Then we’d head home for Christmas cookies and hot chocolate.

    BTW, I am *cough, cough* long past 30. It ain’t nuthing but a thang. And believe me–once those kids are out of the house permanently–the honeymoon comes back with a bang!

  29. datenutloaf says:

    When I was like 7 ish I bought a Santa Claus-shaped cup with a gold “Dad” written on it. And then I inherited this cup. So, once a year coffee or mocha is sipped from ‘Dad’s’ mug. I believe Santa is sick of sweets and gets a hot dog and a coke. Otherwise all days are the same here; all gifts are mailed so none under the nonexistent tree. Not complaining just telling it like it is people. If the darn antlers are that impressive how can a Christmas tree hold them up???!! Bimlissa – no more candles for tired mommies.

  30. michelle says:

    Hahahaha loved this post (as always) neener neener love it! 🙂

    I just turned (30) wow is it hard to say or even type, and honest I cried most of the day, it really hit me hard, I think it has to do with not being 20something.. 🙁

    Fun Holiday tradition: I like to get my kids new cosy warm jammies to open on christmas eve so they can wear them that night and chrstmas morning and we pour reindeer food in the lawn so santa can find our house, put treats out for santa and watch the Norad santa tracker until he is close so they know to go to bed 🙂 Sometimes I jingle some bells and love to hear them whisper “hurry close you eyes I think i hear him” love it! Well funny story this year my 10 yr old is onto me and he wants a pair of slippers for christmas. Well he asked me if he could open his slippers on christmas eve when they get their jammies…… darn for smart kids!

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