My husband, bless his heart, finds it quite humorous to pull the childrens’ pants up extremely high and shout:
“Let’s wear our pants as high as Mommy!”
Allow me to give you a visual, courtesy of Little Dude and his now sore bum.
That David. What a punk. And to think I even missed him whilst he was gone. No! I do not wear my pants that high! I don’t think.
Attention People Who Know Me in Real Life Who Feel My Pants are Worn This High: Please pull me aside next time you see me and inform me of this atrocity.
Much appreciated.
So, yes. The mighty hunter has returned. He, along with his hunting beard, came home last night. And, yes. He shot (not caught! I finally learned to not say that!) a cow.
Not a moo cow. An elk cow. Keep up! Since the elk was not a bull, there is no picture because there was no rack. And hunters are only interested in the racks, didn’t you know? And, yes, I will probably be getting some immature comments about racks. It is to be expected. The elk came home in meat bags and is now hanging in the garage to dry.
This means I cannot go in my garage for a few days.
Mother called me last night, as she is wont to do, and asked me if David “caught” anything. She is clearly not a hunter’s wife. I told her David “caught” an elk.
Mom: Oh! Is this his first elk?
Me: No. Hello? Mom? I’ve had to cook elk all year? Remember?
Mom: Oh. My bad.
Goodness. Someone needs to be a little more invested in her daughter’s life, I see.
I would like to report that I have yet to taste elk. Yes. I know you are impressed. Oh, I’ve cooked it for about a year now. I just don’t try it. My family LOVES it. What is wrong with them?
I could ask around for some recipes and whatnot, but herein lies the problem:
THE RECIPE WOULD CONTAIN BITS OF ELK
And that is something that I just cannot come to terms with. I might need to become a vegetarian. Meat is just so animal-ish.
Bleh.
But life is not all about me (shocker!), so I am happy for my husband. Killing animals tends to excite him. And it is good to have him home and all clean-shaven.
Random-Topic-Quick-Change!
Are you sitting down? I have some news for you.
My mother has joined The Facebook.
I KNOW! She did it just to join Pinterest and then she was going to delete it and within about 2 hours she had over 50 friends!
It hurts when you discover your mom is cooler than you.
I wrote on her wall, because I can now:
Me: You need a profile picture. FYI.
Mom: Yes, but I think I need multiple pictures to be able to get all grandchildren/kids in and maybe even pops! Meagan says I need to take my birthdate off my profile. Do I really need to answer whether I like males or females? Goodness I am feeling old!
Oh, wow. This is going to provide so much entertainment for me.
Love it! Hoping my husband “catches” something this season!
A bonus to the Mom Pants (or rather the Granny Pants, as I am wont to call them) is the eradication of the Muffin Top. I do not like Granny Pants, but I am in favor of eliminating the fluffy, squishy, flappy part that is now associated with lower cut jeans.
I had to add the profile pic to my mom’s Facebook page, and then she promptly forgot her password and didn’t get on FB for a year.
Never eat elk! Stay strong! Fight for your right! I, too, could be a vegetarian except for the part where I love steak.
I agree, and not just because you have an awesome name, I just keep thinking if you had a full size mirror you would change your pants. And having to constantly pull up your pants because they arent to your waist is not a good look either.
One of my good friends calls her muffin top, her dunlap… because it done lapped over! 🙂
There is NOTHING like that first whiff of a hunter-just-out-of-the-woods. EEEWW. I giggled when you said he is now home and clean shaven because I know what you had to endure before that magical moment.
SO…I have a hunting story I can’t share on my blog because I would be disowned by my in-laws. My FIL shot an 8 point buck (that’s a BIG rack!) while his pants were around his ankles…now THAT’S a good hunter! When nature calls, that when nature came calling!
I’m glad your hubs is home with meat but nothing new to add to the wall. My mother in law is new to facebook. Adding her profile picture was a delight. I was called upon for help because I’m cool like your mom. My girls may disagree but this much I know. I am cooler than my mother in law.
If my mil ever joins Facebook, I’m getting off because then I couldn’t make fun of her anymore without her knowing.
My husband just returned from a hunting trip with 2 antelope & 2 mule deer. I fear that eating mule deer will make me more stubborn than I already am.
I still say ‘did you catch anything’ and my hubby still corrects me. I can’t wait for the loads of fun you bring us on your mothers account. Your family always sounds so awesome and I love gettin all handsome on your blog. A big highlight of my day. Thank you
Oh, dear. Our niece got my MIL on Facebook while she was visiting. So now my MIL–who routinely forgets how to copy and paste–wants me to come over and “show her how to use Facebook.” Oy.
I tried over the phone to help her write on a grandson’s wall, and she was all confused.
“Who are these people it says are my friends? I don’t recognize any of them.”
“They’re not your friends, Mom. They’re Ben’s. You’re on Ben’s page.”
I keep hoping she has a senior moment and completely forgets she ever heard the word Facebook.
I could have avoided snickering at the references to racks . . .but then your threw in meat bags. Heh, heh. Meat bags. I’ve suddenly reverted to jr. high mode and have the urge to go give someone a wet willy.
If you watch the dvd Food Inc. you will be so happy that your husband is a hunter and have a chance to eat organic elk meat….either that or you will become a vegetarian for sure. It is a real eye opener …
i don’t believe i have ever partaken of elk either…nor do i care to. i do eat venison, and i have had bear. i am not very adventurous when it comes to trying new things. *sigh*
You wanna talk weird, I once tried ostrich lol. My mom ordered it at a chinese restaurant and I tried some. Not too bad lol.
Here in the big cities of Canada, all the fancy schmancy restaurants are serving high end meat like Elk and Bison. Apparently you have a treasure trove hanging in your garage. Perhaps Elk will taste better knowing that people who live in the city pay top dollar to eat it??? No? Yes? No? Oh, it’s no then…
I’m kind of tempted to try to friend your mom just to see if she’ll
a) freak that strangers are stalking her via facebook or
b) accept my friend request and pretend she knows me and spend three days racking her brain trying to figure out how.
How mean! Mom pants! I vote you call him a “big ole meany pants” next time he mentions mom pants…And ask if he wants to ever get in them…
But perhaps your classier than I am.
Oh girl…wearing mom pants, eh? Do you do the “mom run” too? My sister demonstrated it once…before she became a mom and learned how to run that way too.
Get yourself some hip huggers. I will never go back to waist-high pants again.
BTW, your mom sounds way cool. Of course, my mom is on FB, and I think that is totally wrong. Somehow, it’s okay for YOUR mom to be on FB and Pinterest though.
Saturday Night Live used to run a “commercial” called Mom Jeans (?), with this funny song about ‘why don’t you wear the hot pants like you used to’ or something. It was funnier before I had kids. :/
And, I believe you recently posted a picture of you at the mall, wearing pants, and they did not look pulled up to the armpits. LJ needs to see what that really looks like – it is demonstrated on my MiL. She wears everything ‘high and tight’. Even her glasses don’t slip down her nose. ever. Ask MindyLou. She will confirm, while laughing and trying not to vomit. Fun stuff. My elder daughter is like her – high and tight fashion victim. Maybe the homeschoolers need to get out more…
Hilarious skit! Beware of the camel toe and pants without back pockets! Eep!