Little Dude insists on wearing his underwear backwards. Because that looks comfortable. Me: Dude, your underwear is on wrong.
Little Dude, looking at his *ahem* “areas”: No! Its not wrong!
Me: Yes, they are.
Little Dude, shouting because I anger him so: NO, MOM! YOU CAN’T SEE MY *UNIT*! ITS NOT WRONG!
Apparently, Little Dude feels that as long as cloth is covering the area, he is in the clear.
Lest any of you are confused, he used the “p” word. I don’t think I can say the “p” word on my blog. It seems a bit shady.
When I first had my girls, I refused to use the proper names for private parts. Because I am mature like that. I would call the aforementioned areas “front bottom” and “back bottom.” This is what my mother taught me, and I carried the torch to the younger generations.
So I have no idea how it came to be that my boys say the “p” word so freely.
Once they were in the bath together and I caught them standing up and dancing all around singing:
“Shake your booty! Shake your booty!”
Shocked I quickly became at the thought of my boys knowing, and gyrating to, a song such as this. I can only assume it was from the influence of their big sisters.
Again, I do not know how the girls’ heard this song. I can’t even blame their school. Anyways, the boys were singing that vile song.
Me: Boys! You cannot sing about shaking your booty!
Boys: O-Tay, Mom!
So, I started to leave when I heard:
“Shake you *unit*! Shake your *unit*!”
And they were giggling and laughing and, yes . . . they were shaking their *units.*
Me: No! No shaking that!
Handsome Dude: What can we shake?
Me: Your heads.
So there they were. My two precious, albeit naked boys, sitting in the bath and bobbing their heads all around whilst singing:
“Shake your head! Shake your head!”
Raise your hand if you think Taylor will not survive the teenage years.
Let’s move on!
I got a comment and it excited me, as comments do, but this one sorta weirded me out.
The comment was from “Paul.” Now, my father-in-law’s name is Paul and he talks endlessly about how he feels I should write a book.
“Taylor, if you write a book, I’ll read it!”
“Taylor, you future writer you!”
“Taylor, one of these days, I’m gonna find that blog of yours on the Internet!”
Yes. That will be swell. So, if he hasn’t found my elusive blog, than why does he think I should become a writer?
Well.
I don’t know. Perhaps my emails are well-written and witty. I think I have emailed him thrice. But, anyways, I saw a comment from “Paul” and I thought:
“Oh, snap! He found it!”
And I was secretly relieved that I have always refrained from typing out the “p” word. You see, people! There is a method to my madness.
But as I began to read the comment, I began to doubt it was the Paul I know, as he was professing his love to my blog and declaring me his long lost friend. Which was even more awkward than the “p” word.
So, I looked at the email. It was from someone named Paul the Ripper. And I don’t think I should trust anyone with the last name of “The Ripper.”
I look at the comment again, and it seemed familiar. It was an old comment from Tanna a year ago that a spammer had copied and tried to get me to approve! I never heard of such a thing!
Such trickery! Such deception!
So, there you go, fellow bloggers. Be alert! Be on guard! The spammers are crafty these days!
Alright. Peace out.
Dang spammers. This is why I love typepad…built in spammer protection. Not that I really blog much these days, anyway. =)
Ewwwwww!!!! That spammer is soo creepy! Ick. Anyhew, my children also sing that song and I have no idea how or where of why they know of it. Maybe it just comes out natually?? Hello?? Maybe my kids got it from yours, because we know my children are way too innocent to give it to yours. hahahahaha You are still consisitently bringing a smile to my face! Thanks, Girlie! Oh, and on another note, you do NOT wear your pants creepy high. Just thought I’d send you some encouragement in the style dept! You are cute!!
PENIS
PENIS
PENIS
What?
My blog is shady.
Erin cracks me up…
As a nurse I have no problem saying basically any body part. Once at a ladies Bible study I said the “p” word, and one of the mom’s nearly freaked out…The really wild thing is that this woman was talking about that everyone in the family sees each other naked…No matter what age they were or their ability to recognize gender differences…So the girls could see their daddy’s “P” but couldn’t say the word?
Odd.
I think the Shake Your Booty song is hilarious, particularly when kids sing it. I’m not your typical pastor’s wife.
I have now discovered that it’s not a good idea to read your blog while my son is sitting next to me as he apparently thought the whole “shake your booty” thing was quite cool and decided to chant it himself.
Blame the p word on their dad. And doesn’t Sister Megan teach them such songs as “shake your booty?” After all, if you can’t blame the school, you’ve gotta blame someone!
Taylor, I was raised very much like you and feel that I MUST inform you that my mother taught us it was tee-tee bottom and poo-poo bottom….that is all….snicker,snicker…..;o))))
Creepy spammers. I just get periodic advertisements for sunrooms and screened in porches.
As for the “P” word, simply refer to it as “the peanut”. That is the moniker my twins have bestowed upon the unit belonging to the only boy in the house. They were 3 when he was born, and couldn’t pronounce the anatomical word correctly. Of course, we ran into a problem when we had to explain that we had a food alergy to peanuts, and couldn’t eat them…then the 2 year old boy with such a unit got worried, and we had to then teach him the proper pronunciation…
Oh the comments on your blog are the funniest. I get a giggle just reading through them. I don’t use the anatomical names for parts either, because I’m a prude. It backfired on me this summer when my 9-year-old asked if girls have a different bladder than boys, and I realized he thought his *unit* was called a bladder. My bad.
I hate spammers! I have been getting all kinds of weird traffic from Ukraine, because someone is linking to me there, but I can’t read Ukrainian, so I don’t know what they are saying! It’s very unsettling. And makes me want to get off search engines forever.
My 4 year old got in big trouble at school the very first week because he and another boy were singing & shaking their booties in the bathroom. Their booties were clothed at the time. They got in trouble for saying “booty” at school. It is a small Christian school where booty isn’t allowed.
I agree with the nice Paul, not the stalker Paul, you should write a book. I would read it. It would be hilarious and make me smile on every page.
Thirdly, we use the p word around here and even say scrotum once in a while. Shocking!
Yes, you could write a book, and people would buy it and READ it. Because I checked your blog late last night and read about David and the non-rack elk. Then I get on before 8am EST and there is a New Post and already 11 comments on it!
It would be nice not to be assaulted by words we find off-putting, but forget about being a prude, you’ll have to face it all eventually – especially from your commentators. Although that’s why blog comment approval was created, so you can choose what appears on your blog, even in the comments.
When my 4 year old started saying “shake your booty” I tried forever to figure out where she got it. And then I watched Madagascar with her and found out it was that darn “King Julian” who was the culprit. Stupid cartoon lemur!
My granny taught me my private part was called a buggy, not sure why she did that. Every time I watched Little House on the Prairie I thought they were saying bad words lol.
I’m a new commenter, hope you don’t think I’m the creepy stalker type! I figured I should start commenting so you don’t think I’m creepy or stalking! Your posts are super hilarious and they make my day, and I agree that it’s as fun to read the comments as it is to read your posts!
I do not like spammers and creepers! You are my long lost bff, and you know it! I love your blog and I really would read a book you authored and I do read your blog. I am not a spammer.
oh.my.goodness. those boys!! 😉 stuart from mad tv calls that general area his “danger zone”, i also think he refers to “it” as his “googoo”, LOL idon’t know where they come up with these things…
In all honesty I do believe the younger years are in some ways tougher with the boys but it will be the girls who keep you on your toes during the teenage years. : )
I loved the teen years though. Maybe not every single second but overall teenagers in the house are a lot of fun.
I’m all about calling parts by their names! Referring to it as a cheeto, pickle, etc just seems confusing. My kids are the ones teaching kids where babies really come out! Lol…sorry or you’re welcome! They also know I’m the tooth fairy and that St. Nicholas was the real Santa. Are you sure Veggie Tales didn’t sing a song about booty shaking? No, I spose not. Darn those catchy movie tunes! Oh, how boring our lives would be without lil shakers at home!
My son who is 3 has just recently decided that he will wear his underwear correctly! I say DEATH to all the companies that put the cool picture of whatever on the back bottom parts of the underpants.
And I too say back and front bottom.
My three year old runs around naked (around the house) and yells, “shake your baw-dy” “Shake your baw-dy!”
I think he’s trying to say booty (because for some reason his sisters do that–and it IS funny) or bottom. I am not entirely sure.
So what I’m trying to say is that I feel for you.
Mostly because I’m living it too!