You would not believe how much food prep I should be doing instead of sitting in front of the computer. Its slothful, that what it is.
We are camping, yes we are. And I am in no mood to deal with all that needs to be done. This is the first camping trip of the year with the Maliblahblah side of the family. These camping trips can be a bit more, oh, what’s the word . . . active?
I am already too tired to go. Perhaps I will get sick within the next few hours and will have to stay in bed and read. Which would be devastating.
The kids are SO excited. I think Little Dude is going to explode. Last night, he insisted on putting his blankets and pillows in the:
“Tramp Tray-wer!”
And that would be camp trailer, for all of you who don’t speak “Little Dude.” I told him “no” and this resulted in:
The Complete Meltdown of 2012
Me: Buddy. You are sleeping at home tonight.
LD: NO! NO! NO!
Me: Yes, yes, yes.
LD: MMMMOOOOOMMMMM! I need them! I NEED them! NO! NO! NO!
Me: But you aren’t camping until TOMORROW, dude!
This news was just more than his little heart could bear and resulted in him laying prostrate on the ground, wailing for all the injustice his mother brings upon him. And I almost wrote “prostate” and that would just change EVERYTHING, now wouldn’t it? It’s a good thing I didn’t.
In other exciting news, we are now incubating eggs.
Right on my kitchen counter.
I never intended to be this weird, honestly folks. I mean who grows LIVE CHICKENS on their kitchen counter?
Me.
That’s who.
Next up, its long denim jumpers and socks with Birkenstocks for me. And as soon as I learn to braid my own hair (which will be never), I’ll be donning a fat braid down my back. Because this is just where my life is headed.
But the day you hear of me getting all handsome with my farm animals and hugging and kissing on them, then please, send help.
Let’s do a COW! Because what is life without consistency?
COW stands for Comment of the Week. And I always remember to do it every week.
This week goes to Christi with her comment on the post Trashbag!
Lol, trashbag. Well at least he is a little fella. My mom does that. My pastor calls it chasing rabbits. My mom telling a story about a book. “There was this guy and girl and they had met at this store, (it wasnt a big store, just a small store, you know like one that I used to take you too when you were small, and oh remember that guy that worked there, he is dead now, oh you know who else died, our neighbors dog, poor guy he misses her, I miss my dog, you remember that dog, he was reddish, about the same color as your favorite dress, oh yeah you know the one you wore to church that one time, oh wait that was your cousin, anyway…)what was I talking about.
Oh my goodness. I have someone in my life who does this, yes, yes I do. But I won’t say who. No, no, I won’t.
It is time. I must face all that raw meat now. It just gives me the pee-pee shivers. Oh, and I have to cook bacon. BACON! I hate cooking bacon.
I hate meat, in general.
So, dear readers. Tell me,
1) Do you know how to cook bacon? Because I sure don’t.
2) Would you like to come deal with the raw chicken and raw elk flesh for me today? I can sit in bed and read? Sounds fair.
3) Have you ever grown live chickens on your kitchen counter? Don’t lie, now.
4) Can you braid your own hair? Will you teach me?
5) What are your plans for the weekend?
Happy Weekend!
Have your daughters braid your hair!
Bake the bacon!!! http://pinterest.com/pin/7388786858591898/
And I too have long beautiful hair which I cannot braid to save my life. I mean, I can braid, I understand the concept, but I can’t BRAID and make it look pretty and casual and slightly hippyish but in a very modern fashion. Instead it is very much a 3rd grade -esque, at the wrong angle, bitty hairs sticking out, borderline Pippy Longstocking type of braid (since it is also impossible to braid long hair straight down the back of one’s own head. I’m pretty sure there must be some “As Seen on TV!” do-it-yourself braiding tool for the folks who can accomplish this. And if not, someone should please invent one).
cook bacon in the oven…don’t preheat; 375. i use cooling racks on a cookie sheet so the bacon doesn’t sit in the grease. takes about 20 minutes…remember, don’t preheat! and if you line the pan with tin foil it helps with the clean-up.
i have to prep my chicken the day before i plan to eat it because it makes me nauseous.
i can’t braid my hair or anyone else’s for that matter. i saw 4 little girls the other day that had their hair braided fish tail style…not a hair out of place. i just looked at their mother in awe.
no special plans for the weekend…it has been a hard two weeks and we hope to decompress. i do envy your journey into the wild though. i just hope your chickens don’t hatch while you are gone and take over the house!
I was just going to say to cook your bacon in the oven but Sandy just did that already! She’s got great instructions, follow them!!
Have fun camping!
I’ll make you a deal–I take care of all your meat and you chop all my things that need to be chopped. I hate chopping– just as I go to make something and I’m artfully combining ingredients (read dumping into a pan splashing and/or dropping bits everywhere), I realize “oh, I haven’t chopped that up yet and it needs to be added NOW” which means I have to turn down the burner, take the pot off or whathaveyou while frantically chopping with a crying child attached to my leg and me desperately hoping I can either salvage the recipe or that I have not delayed dinner to the point where everyone will need a snack before and then not be hungry when the food’s there. Yep, I love chopping, cooking in general actually. I do not blame you one bit for delaying your food prep. And I would certainly cook my bacon like Sandy says. Put it in and leave it for a bit. Oh yes ma’am.
Okay – I had to laugh… My renter asked yesterday if I would mind if they got some chickens!!! I don’t know how, but I’m sure Your Lumberjack is to blame here 🙂 🙂 🙂
So bringing home free chickens every other day is not growing your flock quick enough? Now David is growing his own? In the kitchen?
Listen. Do NOT let David have access to a horse trailer. Limit him to the size of animal he can fit in his truck. You’re gonna be milking cows every morning if you’re not careful.
I used to braid and french braid my own hair, but that was ages ago. I was in graduate school, single, poor, childless, and had lots of time on my hands. I had no money for hair cuts so it just grew and grew. The layers were all grown out, which made the braiding easier, fewer pieces sticking out. I cut my own bangs back then and still do. I can also floss my teeth without looking in a mirror, my sister marvels at this talent. She requires a mirror.
Bacon-I usually microwave it. But if you need to cook a bunch do it on a cookie sheet in the oven.
Line baking sheet with foil (saves clean up). Lay the bacon on the pan and put in the center rack of a cold oven. Turn oven to 400 and leave for 15-20 minutes.
Remove bacon to papertoweling to drain.
Probably too late in the day to be helpful but next time.
Have fun this weekend!
I buy the pre-cooked microwave bacon 🙂
My advice for what to do with your raw chicken and elk meat, is to throw it in the crockpot and then forget about it until it’s done cooking! Then, you can put it in the freezer until you’re ready to use it. It will already be cooked, and ready to go.
We are super duper busy this weekend! Wedding reception tonight, dance recital tomorrow, cook-out on Sunday…..maybe on Monday, we will just rest!
Taylor, your posts are the best! Try cooking the bacon in the oven – my sisters have done this and it works, and doesn’t leave a big mess. An incubator on the kitchen counter isn’t as bad as a bowl with food scraps to take out to the pigs…ask me how I know. I hope you have a wonderful, low-stress weekend with the more adventurous side of your family 🙂
I ALWAYS bake my bacon so la-te-da for me! I like to think I was totally ahead of the pinterest on that one. Like totally.
I can’t do much (other than bake bacon) BUT I can braid hair. I braid my 3-year olds in a princess ring around her head and then jam a whompin’ stompin’ bow on the side, which like totally matches her outfit. Which like totally earns me mother-of-the-something I’m sure! For matching is ever so important.
Happy camping! I’ll be camping/baseball tournamenting. Holla to me!
My life will NEVER again be as exciting as yours, since I turned city-slicker and now buy my own meat instead of shooting it, buy jelly (I didn’t know you could do that) and wear high heels to the grocery store. We can’t camp because we don’t know a year ahead of time what we are doing to make the reservations. So, I will sit on my deck and listen to all the accidents on the interstate, the sirens and the loud neighbors who fight in languages I don’t understand. Have a great time camping! snicker, snicker…..
Woohoo, I’m the COW lol. Incubating eggs on the counter, not sure I could sleep in your house lol.
Okay I am not happy, I was reading trashbag to my hubby, which he thought was hilarious, then I read him what I wrote about my mom. He started laughing, he said baby I hate to tell you this but you are starting to do the same thing. I dont like him no more.
lay bacon on a plate covered with paper towels or napkins and micro. then toss all the fat away. i would think the beauty of the incubater is that it’s warm already so why does it have to be indoors on the countertop? you have hens, can’t they sit on them? I’m going to visit a friend who just had surgery. have fun on camping marathon.
Bacon – put it in a stoneware pan in your oven, so the mess isn’t splattering on your oven, counter, you, etc. Check and pull out when done. Wah lah! Cooked bacon and a seasoned stoneware.
Braids – I ONLY know how to braid my own hair. I learned to braid on myself, and I honestly can’t do anyone else’s. In fact I’ve been known to sit on people’s laps, so I could try to do theirs the way I’d do mine.
I’m not weird.
We cook our bacon in the electric frying pan with a lid so it doesn’t splatter everywhere. Not too much mess-and the pan goes in the dishwasher!
I used to hate raw chicken. I wore rubber gloves when touching it when I first got married. Now, 9 years later, I guess I have adjusted! But I won’t touch ground beef (or eat it) still.
There are lots of websites/youtube shows on how to braid your own hair if you rrrrreeeeally want to. I learned how to french braid my own hair through youtube. And I used to practice in boring university lectures.
I can’t believe Mindee hasn’t been here and told you about her grill trick. She cooks bacon on the grill, then it doesn’t stink up the house. I like the idea, but I’m too lazy to mess with the grill. I do the oven thing. Well, I did last time, anyway. It worked just fine. Pretty easy to clean up. Throw the foil away, and my cookie sheet was still greasy, but it goes in the dishwasher, so no problem. This is a terribly written comment. I’m sorry for my bad grammar/writing. Will you forgive me?
My husband makes the best bacon. Could you scoot the eggs out of the incubator, turn up the heat and do the bacon in there?
Hope you have fun camping!
Apparently many of us bacon-bakers thought we were extra-smart & unique for doing this. I do what everyone does 375* for 20 min. Yay for all of us smarty pants that were pre-pinterest bacon-bakers. I always thought I was a bit lazy for doing it that way, but everyone raved about the bacon being good… I especially like not visiting the burn unit over a few slices of pork.
Ok, the “Tramp Tray-wer!” made me spit coffee all over my screen! Gotta love little Dude, really Taylor, a Tramp trailor? I can just imagine him telling his school friends “oh yeah, we go camping in our tramp trailor”…
Ok, it’s Monday, and here in Canada we gotta work, so I guess I am not awake and well just wasted a part of my coffee on my laptop and up my nose.
😉 Have a great Memorial Day everyone!
Dude. Or LJW. whatever your name is. There is nothing wrong with Birkenstocks. worn with or without socks. Sometimes, a good pair of sandals and cozy socks may be the only things right with the world…
you can learn to braid if you can see the back of your head – like with a double mirror trick or something. but your hair would look fab if you simply pull it over one shoulder and do a very simple, normal three piece braid. loosely. tie at least three inches before you get to the end of your hair. chic. modern. not denim-jumperish. post a pic when you have it down. 🙂