The End of the Pigs. Plus a banjo.

Over the past few days, we have had a wild turkey hen come and hang out with the rabbits.

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Yes!  We also raise rabbits.  Be impressed.

Anyways.  I am not sure why this turkey keeps coming.  She just hangs out and eats their food.  Part of the rabbits’ yard shares a fence with the chickens.  When the turkey is near the chicken pen, the rooster goes nuts.  Methinks he wants to meet her.

Roosters.  Very interested in the females.

Handsome Dude went to get eggs and was uber thrilled to find the world’s largest egg in the coop.

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The kids were thinking maybe our turkey hen friend laid this humdinger.  But I don’t think a wild turkey would fly over a 6ft high fence, crawl through a small opening into a chicken coop, sit on a nest box next to the other hens, lay an egg, and leave.

But what do I know?

Not much.

I bought myself a hydrangea plant.  All my life I have wanted to grow beautiful hydrangeas.  I think I tried about three hydrangea plants when we lived in town.  And they all died.

Tragic.

I saw a beautiful hydrangea at Costco and could not resist.  And I bought it . . . so I could murder it, most likely.  Because that’s what I do best with hydrangeas.

I planted it yesterday right by the garden fence.  The astute reader might recall that the garden is where the pigs currently reside.  Daisy Mae came up to me whilst I was planting.

Daisy Mae:  Mom, aren’t you worried the pigs will eat the flowers of your new plant?

Me:  Nope.  The pigs will be dead in about four hours anyways.

Daisy Mae:  Oh.  Cool!

And off she went.  My kids are so farm-ish now.

But, guess what!  David butchered the pigs yesterday and, for those of you keeping up with such things, that means we have NO MORE PIGS!

Can I get an “Amen?”

I will bet you many dollars that we will have pigs again in the future.  Apparently David has been hearing from “the people” who have bought our pigs and “the people” are raving about the delicious-ness of David and Taylor’s homegrown swine.  “The people” are telling David they would be interested in buying more pork from his next year.

I think “the people” need to keep their mouths shut.

Anyways, as I mentioned, David butchered the last two pigs yesterday and he loaded up the pig bodies into the back of the truck.

Fear not!  They were not visible to passersby!  Tarps hide wonders.

So, we load the pigs and a bunch of our garbage.  Because, didn’t you know?  We haul our garbage to the dump.  As classy people do.

So, off we go down the road.  David and Taylor.  Four kids.  Trash.  And pigs.

David to Daisy Mae:  Can you keep an eye out the back and let me know if anything looks like it might be falling out?

(He was referring to the garbage.  I did not realize this. )

Me:  David!  We can have pigs flying out of the truck!  That is not safe!

David:  The pigs aren’t going anywhere.  They weigh too much.

Handsome Dude, who obviously is not hearing things correctly:  Cake?!  Who gets cake?  I want cake!

Daisy Mae (exasperated):  Not CAKE!  PIGS!  Pigs are in the truck!  There is NO cake!

Handsome Dude is upset because he does not get cake.  And understandably so.

Daisy Mae:  Dad, I think something is about to fall out!

David:  What?

Daisy Mae:  Oh, never mind.  It was just a milk jug.  It rolled across the pigs, but it is good now.

I think the only thing missing from our trip to the dump was a banjo playing in the background.

Don’t fear!  Nothing flew out of the back of the truck and the dump is only about 5-10 minutes from our house.  So, it’s all good.

*sigh*

I promise I used to be normal.

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10 Responses to The End of the Pigs. Plus a banjo.

  1. Dawn says:

    Have I told you I detest pigs? And I detest eating pork. Unless it is bacon but that doesn’t count. Anyways, I’m sorry that you must live with pigs in your future. A Banjo would be much more fun but they are quite difficult to play.

  2. Rachel Spin says:

    I love hydrangeas. I planted one last year. They grow all over these parts. It survived the winter and has come back, but it is still tiny. That thing needs some miracle grow. Mine will have pink blooms, if it decides to bloom again. What color is yours? My favorite is the blue.

  3. datenut says:

    Congratulations on not losing anything out of truck and on purchase and enjoyment of a lovely hydrangea plant. Don’t they have stretchy nets that you can strap across backs of trucks to keep everything in?

  4. Normal people don’t have any fun stories to tell. I love your life. 🙂

  5. B says:

    You lead such a charmed life……not losing anything out of the truck.
    No cake? Dang.
    The big egg….did you have a dead chicken? If not, I vote with a turkey egg. 🙂
    Hydrangeas YES.
    Can you get a certificate or something that says you are allergic to pigs?
    AMEN!

  6. Joyce says:

    I hope your hydrangea is a success. We planted several last year and one looks like it survived the hurricane and the winter intact. The other three are not as healthy looking, but not dead either so that’s something. I think they’ll survive if I keep away from them. You and I have the same sort of green thumb.

    Have a great weekend!

  7. Kendra says:

    I guess we are classy too. We haul our garbage to the dump too. It is a family outing.

  8. datenut says:

    u mst b vry bzy we mss u

  9. Jill says:

    Your comment about the only thing missing is banjo music made me laugh out loud! : )

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