Me: Guys. I just bought a Costco size shampoo bottle and put it in the shower 4 days ago. How could it be empty?
Offspring: Ask Little Dude. He likes to “wash the shower floor” with shampoo.
Me (aghast): Dude! Is this true?
LD: Ummm . . . kind of?
Me: Why are you doing this?
LD: Because I just want to fit in! I want people to like me!
What the hay-who? I do not understand this child. The two questions I am constantly asking regarding my youngest:
- Where is he?
- WHY? WHY? WWWWHHHYYYY?????
And. I love him.
Today-
Me: I am going on a walk. Would you like to go with me?
LD: Nah.
Me: Ok, what are you going to do?
LD: Play outside.
Me: Alright.
LD: Bye, mom. I hope you don’t get hit by any cars!
Well, how thoughtful he is!
- There are no cars round these here parts.
- I was going on a walk around our property.
Once the dudes heard I was going on a walk around where THE DEERS live, they fancied joining me.
You know. So we could find interesting things. And the hike did not disappoint. We found 4 deer. A few felled trees. (Yes. Felled.) And LD found a few different types of wildflowers.
LD: Oooooh! Mom! What’s this one?
Me (acting like I know what I am talking about): Well, bud, I think that might be our state flower. ( I actually have no idea if it is or not.) (Teacher win!)
LD: I think we should ask Grandma. She will know!
(She will.)
LD found three different types of flowers on our adventure hike. This kid is not like his father. He is a chatterbox and basically does not stop talking ever.
I love it.
LD: Mom! What if we saw THE BERENSTAIN BEARS out here?
Me: Oh, that would be cool.
LD: Yeah, except, bears don’t live in tree houses. Or wear clothes. Or talk.
Me: No, they don’t.
LD: Mom! Isn’t that called personification?
Me (shocked! MY BOY! So smart!): Well, yes it is.
LD: Yeah. That’s when animals have human characteristics. Oh, look! Deer Poop!
***
Last night was pig wormin’ night. I had it pretty easy, seeing as how I was inside monitoring laundry and preparing the dinner. David took Sweet Pea and Handsome Dude out with him to get ‘er done.
Pigs don’t like to get wormed. It’s not on their agenda. When the kids came in, they were covered in brown stuff that I choose to believe was mud, but know in my heart of hearts was manure.
I shudder.
Sweet Pea: You should see Dad! He is covered in mud way worse than I am, plus he is bleeding.
Me: How is he bleeding?
SP: A pig got mad and slammed him against the barbed wire fence.
Let me take a second to remind everyone that David raises pigs for leisure. This is not his career, nor his life’s work.
He is, in fact, an electrician.
So, David comes in. Covered in poo and blood. He has quite the gash on his arm. I decide to take on the role of concerned/nagging/doting wife and offer to try and help clean/sanitize the wound and bandage it, but he would hear none of it.
Apparently he is too manly for bandaids.
This morning, when I went to make the bed, there was blood everywhere! It was like a scene from a horror flick.
So, today turned into sheet washing day. And next time, I am just going to be the angry/nagging wife and force a bandage upon him.
Because, dude.
***
Pigs.
Pig-topia is almost finished. Here is the entrance to it.
There are three pens down the left side, one at the very back, and one on the right.
I would love to have a sign above the gate that reads, “PigTopia,” but I don’t think David would love the idea.
Look at this pig.
HE IS STILL SO SMALL and it fills my heart with despair.
Butchering day is a long way off, my friends.
I fear they are going to be with us during the hot, smelly months of July and August.
Happy Thursday!
I hope your Lumberjack has had a tetnus shot. I don’t think I’d survive as a pig farmers wife : )