Me to Unnamed Child: It smells. Why does it smell? What IS that smell?
Unnamed Child: I don’t know.
Me: IT IS B.O. Gross. And it is you. Are you wearing deodorant?
Unnamed Child: Um. Nope.
Me: Why not? I bought you some.
Unnamed Child (shrugs. almost as if he/she does not care about this issue as much as I do): I forget a lot.
Me: No. You may not forget. Ever again. You will wear deodorant for all your days. Every day. Always. You may stop never. Well, maybe when you are 70. But until then, all the days.
Parenting. Full of joy and pleasantness. And BO.
School is coming. And all the stress has come with it. Sweet Pea is starting high school (HIGH SCHOOL OF ALL THINGS) and Daisy Mae is starting a new school. The boys will still be with me. My kids need shoes and clothes and supplies and I am spending all the money all the time. Handsome Dude’s feet are ginormous and he can no longer fit into boys’ sizes. It is a challenge to find shoes for him for less than $80. He is like a giant bear cub in Nikes. And the shoes will have holes in them within three months. For the love.
So, I feel like we are basically hemorrhaging money. Every time I turn around, there is something else to buy or another fee to pay.
And then. There is my own classroom. And I thought my max amount of students was 23. So I planned for 24. Because, you know, life. And then I found out I will have at least 25. So now I have to go back to The Walmarts and buy more things. But that is what August is for, I suppose. Swipe that debit card! Swipe, swipe, swipe! I am planning for 27.
27! That is a lot of six year olds.
And then. There is camping. Camping in August! My husband does not understand that back to school stress, mixed with back to school shopping stress, sprinkled with camping packing/shopping stress is a recipe for a total Taylor meltdown.
We went camping last weekend. And I am sad to report that our quad cab is getting a smidge too small for 6 people and 2 full grown black labs.
And we have go camping AGAIN. This coming weekend. Return on Monday, start teaching Tuesday. I am sure I will handle the stress well.
***
The boys went to kids camp for the first time. And something exciting happened.
They were SAD to go to camp. They were going to miss . . . wait for it . . . ME! Oh, friends, this is excellent news. These boys can be a “challenge.” But they love me!
Me, every time I drop the girls off anywhere since the year 2003: Wait! Bye! Come say goodbye!
Girls, not even turning around: See ya!
But my BOYS! They may have even shed a tear or two. Yes. I am thrilled. Don’t judge me.
Do the boys use soap in the shower? No.
Do they know to brush their teeth even if Mom or Dad does not put in a formal request 8 times in one evening? Ha.
Can I trust that when I drop the boys off somewhere they will use their best manners and not ever pass gas and think it is funny? Nope.
Can the boys behave like decent human beings in a store? HECK NO.
But were they sad to leave their Mama for 5 whole days?
Yes. Yes they were.
And that’s a win.
***
I shall leave with the obligatory Eclipse Viewing Photo, brought to you by Daisy Mae.
We were dropping the aforementioned boys off at camp. Hence the bus.
Happy Saturday!
The purchasing of the shoes for growing boys!!!!
And three months later they are complaining about too-small shoes!!
Of course, there was one boy, who complained about too-small shoes and managed to get his dad to buy him a pair of sneakers, then began stumbling in them, and when I did the thumb’s-worth-space-press-at-the-toe-of-the-sneaker, discovered his new shoes were TOO big. So he had to go back to wearing the old sneakers (ugly things by now) until he grew out of them and could move up to the still-new ones.
Thank you for the obligatory eclipse picture! Such a great day, all across America people were comparing and talking about the eclipse!
On the B.O. Don’t buy any deodorant that has an odd smell, like LIME. No boy/girl wants to smell like lime, ever. Don’t ask how I know this.
Best of luck to you and your 23,24,25,27 or so 6 year olds!!
I am totally exhausted just hearing about your life. I don’t know how there is any of “you” left at the end of the day.
I had two sons that were the same about personal care. In fact, if we hadn’t had a hot tub for eight years, I’m pretty sure my son never would have been clean – ever! As an older woman promised me, “Wait till they discover girls. Then they’ll take care of themselves.” That day will come soon, I promise.
Oh, and I’ve noticed phases of stinkyness as children grow up. Newborns smell delicious. They have sweet skin and hair. Perfect! After awhile, their burp-ups start to smell. When they start food, their poop starts to stink. Then their breathe. As kids grow, eventually their bodies start to stink, especially armpits. Then their feet. Oh, those feet! We once took a family trip and made one tweener stick his feet out the window for a few moments of relief. When they start to figure out how to cover up those smells, their attitude starts to stink. It ripens until they’re about 30.
Despite the smells I know you’re suffering, they are quite lovely and you are doing an amazing job of being a mommy! Enjoy your new year.