The Magnetic Force

I have mentioned before that this year in class, I have a little English Language Learner guy.  He makes my world go round.

Yesterday, I was working with him in reading groups and feeling like the World’s Most Ineffective Teacher.  I cannot get him to learn ANY sight words.

ANY.

I have been working with him on and, the, and a.  For many days.

Nope.

Discouraging.

Later that day, I had to reign my class in with a farm story.

Yes!  Lucky for me, my husband made us farmers.  And farm stories come in quite handy when you have 25 6 year olds who are going stir crazy from inside recess.  They absolutely love them.

I also neglected to tell you, dear readers, this story.  So buckle up. This will be told to you as Taylor, the first grade teacher, not Taylor, the girl who writes a mediocre blog.

“Last summer, before we all met here in first grade, I was able to watch my cow, Babs, have a baby calf. The calf was a boy.  Boy calves are called bull calves.  At Mrs. M’s house, we have lots of land and Babs did not have the baby close to the house.  After she had the baby, I had to walk all the way back to the house to cool off and get some water.  It was a very hot day and I was sweaty and tired.

When I got to the house, I saw Little Dude.  I asked him if he wanted to go and see the new bull calf with me.  He did.  Does anyone remember how many dogs we have out our house?”

Of course they remember.

“Yes.  Three.  And three is too many.  The two girl dogs are fast and excited.  Tank, the older dog is slow and lazy.  LD and I go into the cow pen and head to the back of the property and the dogs follow us.  Abbie and Cali are with us.  Tank is slow and far behind.  When we get to Babs, she warns Abbie and Cali that she does not want them close to her baby.  Mama cows get very angry if dogs come near their babies. So, Abbie and Cali know to go away and run off.  LD and I stay and watch the Mama and her baby.  A few minutes later, Tank finally arrives.  He is tired and panting, but proud of himself for making it all the way out to us.  He does not know Babs will be angry.  He comes right up to us hoping for a pat on the head, and Babs gets VERY angry.  She starts to attack Tank!  She pushes him with her head.  He gets thrown up against a tree and against me.  LD and I were very worried that he was going to die.  We got him away from her and he limped for about three days, but he was ok.”

The kids are still listening!  I should be teaching math.  Alas.  I am not.

“Now, when I take walks, all three dogs love to follow me.  But when I open the gate to the cow pen, Tank will not come with me.  He never goes through the cow pen anymore, but the girls dogs will.  Why do you think he will not go with me?”

Many hands go up.

Student:  I think the cows are pushing on the gate so he cannot go through.

Me: No . . .

A few other students guess, but no one is quite getting it right.

My ELL friend is sitting calmly with his hand up.  I call on him, but feel worried because I don’t think he could understand my story.

ELL kiddo:  Scared!

Friends.  I about dropped dead.  I cannot teach him sight words, but apparently I can help him make inferences in a story.

I should probably retire now.  It will never get any better than this.  I shall go out on a high note.

***

Ever since Daisy Mae got her license, life has gotten a whole lot easier for me.  Instead of dropping all the kids off before work and rushing around after work to pick everyone up, she drops ME off first.  Then she picks up her brothers after school, and they all pick me up.  Sometimes she brings me coffee.

!

DM:  Mom, don’t you hate not having a car all day?

Me:  No.  Why?

DM:  Well.  You are like stranded.  You can’t go anywhere.

Me:  Where do you think I am going every day anyways?  I teach the kids.  I don’t leave.

DM:  I would hate it.

And, yes.  Sadly.  She has to drive my car, which to her is a “total mom car”.  She isn’t really complaining, but apparently has “backing the car up in the high school parking lot”anxiety whenever the boy she has a crush on can maybe potentially see her.

So sometimes she has friends back the car up for her.

David:  What!?  Who all is driving our car?!

On Monday, we had to take the third car, the one we let Sweet Pea use daily, to the mechanic.

For $1000.00.

The next morning on her way to school, she broke down.  Which is always wonderful the morning after you spend $1000.  On a car that cost you $3000.

I am at school without a car.  DM has my car at high school.  The boys are at school thinking DM will be picking them up.  David is 30 miles away.  SP has college classes, a high school class, and a basketball game.

David calls me and we come up with the perfect plan B.

David will help tow SP back to the mechanic.  Then they will stop by the high school to get my car.  SP will have my car for the day.  DM and the boys will be forced to ride the bus to my parents’ house.  This will irritate DM because SHE DID NOT GET HER DRIVER’S LICENSE SO SHE COULD RIDE THE BUS.  I will be stranded at work until David can pick me up in the work van.  He will then take me to my car where SP left it.  I will drive to my parents and get the three poor bus riding children and David will drive to pick up SP from her game.

See?  Plan B.

Many texts are sent out and I call the boys’ school so they can alert the boys to their schedule change.

Somehow David in all his magic-ness manages to just repair the car on the side of the road.  How does he know how to do all the things?

I don’t know.

So we all switch gears and come up with plan C.  Many texts are sent and phone calls are made and SP is supposed to leave the car keys for the third car in a cup holder so DM can drive that car home and David will bring SP home from the game.

Are you following all of this?  Because we barely can.

DM, the boys, and I get to the car and of course, SP did not leave the keys in the cup holder.  David, who is at the game, asks her while she is on the side line.

David:  Hey.  Where are the car keys.

She just smiles at him and runs on the court.

So helpful.

We find a spare key that David had hidden somewhere in the car for such a time as this.  Because SP has already locked herself out of the car.  Because of course.

On the way home, Little Dude informs me that he is going through puberty.  But he doesn’t know how to properly say “puberty.”  He pronounces it:  poo-burr-tee.

Me:  Why do you think you are going through puberty?

(I actually don’t really want to know.)

LD:  Because my voice is changing.

Me:  Nah.  You just have a cold.

This morning, we are doing our usual morning routine.  This involves me doing lots of loud verbal reminders (not yelling).  I also must coordinate the boys never being in the same room.  There is some magnetic force that draws them towards each other and makes them wrestle/punch/hit/give wedgies.  And no one has time for that.

HD is in the shower.  I need to put in 17 formal requests before he will actually get out of the shower.  LD is ready to get in the shower.  But we cannot have LD waiting in the bathroom for HD because then the shower door will most likely get shattered.  So I send LD to go and pick out his clothes.

HD still won’t get out of the shower.

Me: Get out. (for the 18th time)

HD:  Ok, Mom.  Count me down from 3!

Me:  No.  Get out.

HD:  Ok, I will do my own count down.  3 . . . 2 . . . . 1 1/2 . . . . 1 . . . .ok . . . . ready . . . to  . . . get . . . out!

Can we all be impressed that I have not yet completely lost it?

I am drying my hair.  I tell him to get dressed and not touch his brother on the way.  This is poor planning on my part, because I forgot to arrange HD passage to his room without passing LD along the way.

I hear a scuffle.  I hear noise.  I yell for LD to GET IN THE SHOWER.

He comes up.  He is wet.  He is wet because HD does not know how to dry himself.  Even though he is 12.  And when HD passed LD in the hall, the magnetic force MADE him wrestle LD to the ground.  So LD is wet from HD’s wet shower body.

LD (voice totally cracking. And not from a cold) Gosh, MOM.  I tried to get up here but HD attacked me.

Fantastic.  I think he is going through poo-burr-tee.

Happy Wednesday.