Air Buds

I bought myself some headphone things that don’t have cords. They are all the rage, you know. I drive my children nuts because:

A) I cannot identify them correctly.

B) I cannot hear ANYTHING when using them

C) I don’t fully understand how to disconnect the bluetooth on my phone and struggle with talking on my phone after I listen to my hip tunes.

But other than that, I am doing great with them.

Me: Kids! Don’t get mad! I am going to be putting my AIR BUDS in.

Oh, the rage that ensues. Apparently they are not AIR BUDS. Where did I get that phrase? The movie?

Me: Sheesh. Ear buds? Air pods? Ear pods?

I still don’t know what they are called. I know they are not the expensive ones. We shall call them the wireless headphones. That sounds good.

So. I cannot hear out of my right ear. And I already annoy my kids with my less than ideal hearing, and then why I have my airbuds in, I REALLY cannot hear.

Oh, for the irritation of it all.

Then! Then sometimes, I get a call. And I go to settings and I disconnect the airpods, but then two minutes into the conversation they activate again, even though no one asked them to, and I struggle to try to get them turned off before the person I am talking to hangs up out of irritation.

This happens EVERY time I am on the phone with my mother. I keep explaining to her why, but I fear she has no idea what I am talking about. My parents struggle with technology.

In fact, here is a sample of one of our conversations as of late:

Me: I have been trying to get a hold of you forever.

Mom: My phone didn’t even ring!

Me: I texted Dad. I asked him to have you call me, just so you know.

Mom: Oh, like I am going to hear from him. He doesn’t hardly know how to use his phone. He never answers texts or calls. I don’t think he knows what a phone is for.

Me: Bummer.

Mom: I need a new phone. Will I be able to figure out an iPhone?

Me: Sure.

Mom: I have no time to learn something new.

Me: Well, I don’t think it will be that hard.

Mom: Well, I heard it will be hard and I cannot handle anything hard right now.

Me: Well, I think you will be fine. I switched to one and it was no big deal. But who knows if I am evening using the iPhone correctly? I don’t know.

*crickets chirping*

Me: Mom?

I look at the phone and those dang ear pods are connected again! So I struggle. And I disconnect. Just in time to hear:

Mom: Helllloooooo?

Me: It is me. It was the air phones again.

Mom: Alright, well I gotta go. I have no idea what time your father will be home. Even though I ask him EVERY DAY to text me when he is on his way home.

Me: Sorry, Ma.

We hang up. I try to connect my Pandora and my airbuds. And then I get a text from my dad:

On my way home. Call Taylor.

Poor Dad. He finally remembered to text his wife to tell her he was on his way home. And he actually got my message and was following instructions.

But he texted me, and not mother.

So close.

***

David has been working like crazy these days. He came home last night around 9 and he asked me how my day was. So I took the opportunity to give him the literal play by play of my day.

Me:

Well. I did my online lessons and videos and all that jazz. I did the dishes. Did the laundry. Woke the kids up. Checked the cows. Of course no one was in labor, story of my life. Tried to monitor the kids and their school work. HD cannot handle being in front of the computer for more than 20 minutes. LD won’t get off the computer. LD is “doing homework” all morning long, and yet he has missing assignments. How is this possible? Then I try to help the girls with this and that, and I just end up annoying them.

And then I started to make lunch. LD was annoyed at me because I told him to get off the computer and brush his teeth. He didn’t want to brush his teeth until after lunch. I didn’t care because I saw his teeth and they were gross. So I made him a cheese quesadilla, per his request. He sat at the table and glared. Then I told him to eat so he could get to the chores. He refused because:

“My mouth is too minty fresh from brushing my teeth and my lunch will taste gross.”

So, I sent him out to do the chores without eating first.

And then I did more dishes. And then the kids went to do the sticks.

*Interruption. We must discuss sticks. David makes the poor little Maliblahblah children pick up many trailers full of sticks daily. Every day ends in a fight. I get fourteen phone calls about it. I just love the stick chore.*

While the kids were picking up their four trailers of sticks, I decided to create some math videos. While one video was loading, Kate called to let me know that HD was being super annoying and trying to purposely run over everyone’s feet with the 4 wheeler. So I tried to problem solve on the phone, but since the phone is my internet, the phone call was messing up my video upload, so that was less than ideal.

About a half of an hour later, HD comes walking towards me from all the way in the back 40. He is fine. But he walks all this way to tell me that the girls ran over his foot with the 4 wheeler and it might be broken.

But then he notices my new deck furniture arrived and he wanted to open it immediately and assemble it. I say fine because I don’t know how to assemble it.

While he is assembling, I take a walk with Charlie to check on the cows. No one is in labor and she does a nice job of not chasing anyone. While I was on the walk, Abbie the dog opened the front door to let herself in (she does this all the time) and no one noticed to close the door. So a robin flew into the house.

So the robin was in the house for awhile and HD was trying to assemble furniture and the girls were trying to do homework. I asked LD to do a chore and he replied:

“No. I have worked enough today.”

So, that didn’t work out for me.

Then I made dinner and went to feed the calves and check on the cows again. This time, I did not take any dogs, but a cow still went after me like she wanted to murder me and that was very scary. But I lived. When I came back the boys had gotten into a fight and HD purposely broke the outdoor furniture he was assembling out of anger towards his siblings.

HD was sassy with me so I sent him to bed. He came up and hour later to apologize and then repaired and finished all the furniture.