QuaranTEENS

There is one thing I am certain of:

I will never be selected to write a parenting book.

I might be selected to be a family that could be the inspiration for the dire need of a parenting book.

I have four quaranTEENS and everyone is sassy and moody and hungry and hates everything and is hyper and is silly and is bored and is angry all the time.

Let us discuss yesterday.

Yesterday, Hadley left to go to town.  She stopped halfway for gas.  She called me at the gas station to let me know she had locked her keys in the car and could someone please bring the spare?

Well, I was busy being an online magical teacher, so I enlisted Kate.  I told Kate she could take my car to save on gas.

Kate leaves.  I get a call soon after.

Kate:  Mom.  The trailer is hooked up to your car.

David used the car last and David did not unhitch the trailer.

Me:  Ok.  I can send the boys out to unhitch it or you can take your car and I will pay you back.

Full Disclosure:  I offered the boys because:

a)  I did not want to go outside at the moment.

b)  I really do not know how to unhitch trailers.  And they do.

Kate:  I will just take my car.

Me:  Ok, thank you.

So, I go back to my magical teaching and I get another call from Kate.  This time she is in full panic mode and yelling:

“I need the boys!  I need the boys!”

So, I run outside and she is nowhere to be found.

Me:  Where are you?!

Kate:  Down the road a ways.

Me:  Did you drive away without realizing you were hauling a trailer?

Kate:  Well, kind of, I guess.

So turns out she was trying to turn around and things did not go well for her.

HD hears the convo and immediately springs into action.  He fires up the four wheeler and goes down the road to where his sister and my car are.  He switches her spots.  Kate drives home on the fourwheeler, and HD, the 13 year old, backed the trailer up, turned it all around, drove it home, and then backed it into a parking space at home.

I would like the records to show that I have never done anything like that with any vehicle.

***

Today.

I was creating more magical videos for my students.  Whenever I create videos, I hang a sign on the front door.  It reads:

“Please come in quietly!  I am making videos!”

Earlier this week, LD ruined a video by peeing off the back deck.  Because we are a high class family.  And no, I do not know why he pees off the deck.  I hope he doesn’t pee off other people’s decks.

Anyways.  The boys were outside with their father (hallelujah!) and the girls were gone, so I hung the sign and I made the videos.

Oh, I was on a roll, Friends.  Also, I have created 92 videos since this whole thing started.  And not one of them is excellent.

I was reading Charlotte’s Web chapter 16, which is a pretty long chapter.  I was about 2/3 through it when the girls came home.  They did try to enter quietly, but the dogs barked.  Well there was no way I was starting that video over, so I just chatted with my virtual students about how the dogs always bark when someone comes in and I kept on reading.

Very professional.

So the girls are quietly doing this and that and I finish reading the chapter.  Once I finish the video I get up and start to do my usual mom things.

You know.  Dishes, laundry, dishes, wiping, laundry, sweeping, dishes.

I glance at the girls and Hadley is wearing swim bottoms and a t shirt.  I ask her if she showed her hiney in my Charlotte’s Web video.

Hadley:  Oh!  You were making a video!  Oops.  I thought you were just recording your voice.

So.  I make her watch my painfully long Charlotte’s Web Chapter 16.

And yes.  You can see the cheeks of her hiney.  Very noticeably in the video.

So, I will be redoing that one as well.

I am killing it over here, people.

***

There are two mama cats and six kittens living in my bathroom.  It is starting to feel chaotic.  I kind of want to kick them outside, but I fear if I do that, the kittens will be all wild and most of them will probably die from, like, coyotes or birds of prey or something.

Thoughts?

Happy Tuesday!

PS-I made tacos tonight AND it was Cinco De Mayo.

Happy Accident.