New Nike Slides

Awhile back, I purchased a used bedroom set and I double love it.  David does not love it when I purchase things that require him to assemble.  But I don’t love it when he purchases things that I fall in love with and he butchers.  So.  Even Steven.

Anyways.  We got this bed and we put it together, but he didn’t want to screw it all together properly.  And what did I care?

So.  Last weekend, we were on said bed.  And it totally broke.  Like we fell in.

Apparently we caused quite the ruckus, because Kate walked in and scolded us.

Kate: WHAT were you two DOING?

Me:  I was watching “Call the Midwife” and eating a tasty snack.  Dad was asleep.

She sighed and helped pull us up out of the mess, then walked away thoroughly disgusted with us.  We got the bed all set up again.

We did not properly screw it all together.  We are hoping to scar our teens again soon.

***

HD had his surgery today.  He did very well with it.  He was pretty funny coming out of anesthesia, but not as coco-nuts as his sister, Kate.

He really wanted to go to his favorite coffee stand.  Which, surprisingly, is not Dutch Bros.

Me:  Do you want a mocha granita?

HD (panicked):  What time is it?

Me:  11:30am

HD:  The granita special isn’t on until 2pm.  I prefer the frappucino, but if it is after 2pm, I order the granita so I can save my family money.  So, frappucino please.

Well, right on, HD.

He also required two chocolate donuts.  One with sprinkles and one without.  I obliged.

Sadly, HD needs to be in a splint for four weeks and not use the hand for six weeks.  This will be a challenge, seeing as how he is David’s mini-me.

He already cannot handle it and went to water the lamb and he even vacuumed.  He is determined to do things one handed.

HD:  Mom, in a way I am really lucky.

Me:  Why is that?

HD:  I didn’t really cut my hand all that bad.

Me:  Oh, yeah?

HD:  Yeah.  Because the knife I cut myself with is one that Dad uses to cut through bones.

*shudder*

And, finally, HD likes to dictate emails for me to send to his teachers.  He is very specific on the wording and I am not allowed to say that he cut his hand without including that he cut it while butchering pigs.  For fear people will think he was trying to harm himself.

Here is an example of an email he would have me write:

Dear Mr. ________

On Saturday, HD was helping his Dad butcher pigs.  For meat.  He accidentally cut the top of his hand and has to have surgery.  He cannot use both of his hands.  How would you like him to type papers for you?

Thank you.

He is very stressed out about typing.  And tying shoes.

While he was in surgery, I ordered him some new Nike slides so he wouldn’t have to worry about shoelaces for awhile.

David would scoff at my indulgence of the boy.  But I don’t care.  Because I am almost 40 and my baby boy cut his hand on a knife his father uses to CUT THROUGH BONES and had to have surgery.

The boy gets new Nike slides.

And two pairs of nice socks.

Fun fact:  My mother calls slides, “sliders.”

Me:  Mom, a slider is a sandwich.

Mom:  And that shoe your kids like.

Me:  No.  Just a sandwich.

Happy Tuesday