You guys. I am actually serious about this.

Charlie the puppy keeps running around with a pig foot and here are tonight’s top stories:

We bought some land next to us and we have been trying to find the exact corners and have been unsuccessful.

Last night, I decided to be my husband’s help meet and go find them.  I got myself into quite a bind when I traversed onto an area that is like a giant rock pit.  It was very steep and I did not want to blow my knee out again.  So I got on my butt and slid down the hill.  I still could not find the necessary boundary marker.  So I called my neighbor.  Neighbor knew exactly where it was and I was WAY off.  And I totally didn’t need to slide down a mountain.  I wonder if anyone saw me?

Speaking of neighbors, David does not ever want to inconvenience them.  So if someone mentions a concern about anything, he takes care of it.

We took in his brother’s dog, Cali, 2 1/2 years ago.  I found this to be quite inconvenient, but he is not usually worried if I am inconvenienced.

Cali is highly annoying and bark/howls endlessly.  For two and a half years I have waited for a neighbor to make a comment.  For I knew that if David felt the neighbors were bothered, he would make other plans for Cali.

Reader.  No neighbor ever called.

Yesterday, I mentioned to a neighbor that Cali would be leaving.

Her response:

“Oh, thank goodness.  She is SO LOUD.”

TWO AND A HALF YEARS, PEOPLE.  TWO AND A HALF YEARS.

***

I did a live writing assessment with my first graders.  I do not tell them how to spell words, because that would be COCONUTS.  I encourage them to sound words out and just try their best.

One boy was sitting kind of funny and was coming in at an angle on his Zoom camera.  He leaned in and said:

“Mrs. M.  I am trying to spell ‘At the park.’  I have the letter ‘A” and I do not know what comes next.”

*sigh*

Me:  Sound it out.  Aaaaaaaa-t.  A-T.

He looks at me and says ” Got it.  “t”.”  Then he did the little finger shooting thing and gave me a smile and muted himself.  And for some reason did not want help with “the” or “park.”

I love first graders.

We had a Zoom scavenger hunt today and one thing they had to find was a square of toilet paper.  While kids were waiting after class to talk to me, one girl wrote:  I love Mrs. M with marker on her toilet paper and shoved it up to the camera.

My own children are exasperating me.  Here is a list of grievances:

1.  I opened the fridge and salsa flew out at me because

a)  Someone did not close the salsa

b)  Someone just chucked it into the fridge and then slammed the door really quickly.

Also:  I checked with all the kids.  No one did it.

2.  My teens got home about an hour before me.  And as I was still driving home, I was

called and asked what was for dinner and when was dinner.

3.  My children were inconvenienced because they had to wait for me to cook dinner.

And they were so hungry.  The nerve of me.

4.  I bought a cute table runner and decorative pillows.  HD doesn’t understand why I

bought something so stupid.

5.  I have to literally bribe HD with milkshakes so he will speak when his physical

           therapist speaks to him.  As she is trying to help heal his hand.

      6.  We caught our old dog, Tank, trying to eat poo nuggets out of the litter box.

One child (who shall remain nameless) said this actual sentence:

“You guys.  I am actually serious about this.  What if he is trying to commit suicide?”

7.  One child told me he/she thinks he/she has a spending problem.  And he/she had a

solution to fix it.  And his/her solution started with this actual sentence:

“So, in order to help my problem, I am now buying _____________.”

Me:  So you are shopping to help stop your shopping problem?

Child:

8.  Oh.  I am ruining Hadley’s life.  Because apparently when all of her friends google a

a needed school link, it pulls up my teacher page.

“MOM.  Now everyone knows I am related to you.  And you are a teacher.  And

sometimes your picture shows up!  It is awful.”

9.  But please remember:  there are people in the world who do like me and write me

notes on squares of toilet paper.

10.  My apple watch charger has been stolen and not returned.  No one took it.  But I

know in my heart of hearts it was Hadley.  She steal/loses everything.

***

Auntie Datenut.

Auntie Datenut did something odd last night.  She went through several of our family pictures during the wee hours of the morning and commented on them.  But all the comments had to do with our clothing and how she approved of our clothing.  And I do not understand why.

***

We got a book and a dog pool/bath in the mail today that no one here ordered.  And I am plum confused.

***

Do you remember how David hit a deer with my car?  It still is not fixed.  In fact-hasn’t even been started.

***

Not only are we taking Cali to her new home this weekend, but we are picking up our new fifth wheel.  The fifth wheel will be for our river property and for camping.  It might be nicer than my house.  But that’s only because the kids haven’t been in it yet.

***

Let us end with a cute first grade story.  Have I mentioned that I teach/love first grade?

We were taking a break and I had them all mute/stop video and told them to come back at 9:45.  I had my headphones on and was answering emails.  Around 9:42, I hear:

Student A:  Mrs. Malikaka?  Are you there?

Student B:  I do not think she is here.

Student A:  Where IS she?

Student B:  I think she is getting a snack.

Student C:  I think she is taking a bath.

Student A:  There are no baths at schools!

*giggle, chuckle, giggle*