Udders and Thighs. And other such things.

HD and I were home alone.

HD:  Mom.  I got my four wheeler stuck way down the road.  Need your help.

Me (who had no idea he was on his four wheeler):  How am I going to help?  I don’t know what to do.

HD:  Just come on.

And then we did this:

And I sat on the broken four wheeler and steered and he towed it home.  Backwards.

Also:  he is almost fourteen.  So just let that marinate for a bit.

***

Let’s talk about Lily.  Lily got to come over to her FAVE people’s house:  David and Taylor.  David coerced her into learning how to castrate a calf.

Lily castrated a calf.  Said calf than got his revenge by kicking her in the eye.

Lily is doing A Ok.  Didn’t need stitches afterall.  I am under the impression that neither she or her mother are angry at me.  Time will tell.

I took this picture of Mildred and her calf today for Lily.

Lily:  That’s a cute calf.  I took his balls.

Me:  What did you do with them?

Lily:  I threw them.  That’s what David told me to do.

This is why the teens come to my house.  Where else can you get an unlimited supply of fruit snacks AND get to toss calf testicles into the wind?

Go ahead.  Name one place.

I’ll wait.

***

And now, let us examine some pictures and videos of cows.  Because that is a normal thing to blog about on a Wednesday.

Opal and Friends.

Matilda.  Who is not even embarassed to be wearing her dinner.

And of course, the star of all our hearts:  Hazel.

The weather has turned warm.  We are basking in the glory of 50 degree weather over here.   My kids are certain coats are no longer a thing and are ready for shorts and short sleeve t shirts.  Hazel has been kicked outdoors for most of the day.  She stands at the gate and cries for me.  I’m sure that’s normal.

After I feed her a bottle, she acts like she is starving and would like four more.  She always has milk dribbles all over her face and she wipes her face on my pants.  Then she likes to lick my pants and knock into my legs hoping for more milk to magically appear.

Reader.  Real calves do this knocking thing to their mothers.  Like in nature.

See:

That’s Purple Cow #5 and her calf who is about a week older than Hazel.

Things to note:

A)  It kind of hurts when Hazel does this to me.  Like not bad, just kind of.  I imagine it shall get worse.

B)  Should I feel self conscious that a calf is confusing my thighs with a cow’s giant and saggy udder?

Things to ponder.

And lastly, here is Babs and her four month old heifer calf.  Babs is chilling out and scratching her head.  As cows do.

Hazel’s unfit mother walks right into the scene by them.

She has yet to notice I took Hazel.

***

Should we talk about my stupid knee?

Sure.  Let’s talk about my stupid knee.

Things “of concern” showed up on the MRI and I am being referred to an orthopedic doctor.

It has been ONE MONTH since I tripped and fell.

***

On a very serious note-

Someone very close to us who we love with all of our hearts just received a serious medical diagnosis.  We are not completely sure of all the details, and I am not sure how much this person would want me to share, but I do know that prayers are always appreciated.

Thank you.