Soon to be family!

The other day, LD was sent to gather the eggs from the hens and came back with a concernably large amount of eggs that he found around the property, not in the coop. This is concerning to me now because I know things now about farm life, specifically things about roosters living with hens and hens hiding eggs in clutches, if you know what I mean.

And the day I am making breakfast and crack open a partially-developed chick is the day I pack my things and head back to town.

If I ruled the world, all the questionable eggs would go in the garbage, but that would disappoint the mister, so LD and I spent some time candling the eggs and then performing a float test.

So that’s another normal thing that happens in my house.

Let’s move on.

So, we had a wedding, and before we begin any sort of recap, I want you to understand that:

A) I will never be a wedding planner.

B) I have never been more exhausted in my life.

Because I am a fool, I worked Monday and Tuesday. Tuesday night, I picked Hadley up-she had just arrived in town-and we had to run her bridesmaid dress to Aunt Lisa for a quick little alteration.

On Wednesday morning, Hadley and I cleaned the whole entire house. Because not only was I having a wedding AT THE RIVER, but I was needing to get my house ready for guests and housesitters and such. Fun! We cleaned and cleaned and had to rush to we could meet Kate and Caleb in town on time. We finished the cleaning and I went to hop in the shower, and wouldn’t you know it, but we didn’t have water. Again. Because it is hot and the cows drink all the water and remind me to talk to David about rethinking us sharing a well with the livestock.

They can get their own well.

So we drove to town and met with them. I took Kate and we were off to get her hair highlighted and cut and do a wedding hair practice run, along with some other errands, and Hadley and Caleb (plus a puppy!) had their own errands to do, including driving to the airport to pick up the shipment of flowers.

Because, yes. Kate and Caleb bought a puppy. One week before their wedding and subsequent move that involves a few days of driving.

And, also because we don’t have our heads screwed on straight, we chose “Do It Yourself Flowers.”

And so, on Wednesday night, we did the first night flower prep, as per the directions provided and Kate and Caleb toodled off to meet with the pastor.

Thursday.

Before we begin the big Thursday recap, I am going to need you to brace yourselves. Because Thursday was literally a lot. Frankly, it was too much. It almost broke me.

And, also. We had a puppy.

Let’s begin.

When Kate and Caleb came into town, they brought with them the boys’ groomsmen suits. And even though there was really no time for any sort of alteration, I felt it would behoove me to have the boys try on the clothes to make sure they would work. And you can imagine how well that idea was received.

GOSH.

HD was first. And his pants were teeny and toasty. And then I recalled Kate relaying a conversation she had with the bridal shop gal.

Bridal Shop Gal: Hon, is one of your brothers really skinny?

Kate: Yes.

Bridal Shop Gal: Like extremely skinny?

Kate: Yes.

Bridal Shop Gal: Like really quite extremely skinny?

Kate: Yes.

So that should have been my first clue.

His pants were too snug around the waist, which is probably a feeling he has never experienced before. They were also too short and too “slim fit.”

HD: These look ridiculous.

Me (trying to save an entire wedding in one moment): No! I am pretty sure this is the new style!

LD puts on his pants. They look fab and fit him well. Also, I would predict he would be able to sit down in them if he wanted to, unlike HD.

HD: Look at him. He looks fine. He doesn’t look like an idiot. I look like an idiot.

Me: Oh, pish posh! It will be great!

HD:

I tell the boys they can leave for work and then I hear Kate calling out from the kitchen.

“MOM, we have a BIG problem.”

And, Reader. A dozen white roses were dead, dead, dead right on the kitchen table.

So, Kate, Hadley, Caleb and I loaded up and left for town in search of white roses, along with a couple of other errands because I forgot that I still have to feed people meals and stuff like that. And, also, Caleb’s parents were arriving that afternoon and would come to my house for the first time ever and help us with the flower assembly and I was planning on making dinner for them.

While driving to town, I am starting to stress a bit and having Hadley send texts on my phone to problem solve HD’s pants situation. I brought the pants with me to town in case there would be a bridal shop affiliated with the other one and we toodled around getting white roses and ingredients for dinners and such.

The only solution we were given for HD’s pants was to find someone to let the hem out so they wouldn’t be as short.

A quick message to Auntie Datenut, and we had secured someone to do just that.

Costco had white roses.

I decided to make stir fry, salad, bread and huckleberry pie for dinner.

We called in Aunt Amy to come and help with flower assembly.

And, also, we had a puppy.

We got home and I had to quickly made two pies so they could set in the fridge and then we embarked on a wonderful, magical adventure of trying to assemble bouquets. When we had ordered the DIY flowers, we were told we could get video tutorials and “recipes.” And we kinda did, but they weren’t as explicit as I had imagined they would be. Luckily, Hadley took to it naturally and she was able to take the lead on the creation of the bouquets.

Oh! And here is something fun!

In my Facebook memories that day, I was reminded that 12 years ago on that day, Aunt Amy came over and we made strawberry jam in my kitchen.

So, here we are 12 years later, making flowers and arch swags like total bosses.

David walked in. He had been working as an electrician and also managing to pick up the table and chairs rental order and also going to two different Walmarts to secure 4 10×10 white pop up shade tent things. Because that was my rain backup plan. Because even though Thursday was hot like lava, Saturday’s forcast was all about the rain and thunderstorms.

And, also, we had a puppy.

David looked at us and the explosion of flowers that had overtaken his home, and went outside to feed the cows. And probably encourage them to drink up all the water. As they do.

Amy had to leave and Caleb’s parents arrived. And they are nice and lovely and jumped right in to helping with the creation of the bouquets.

The last bouquet we worked on was Kate’s, and you would not believe the size of this thing. I think it weighed more than her.

About five minutes after I took this photo, we lost power.

And I was like, of course we lost power. Why wouldn’t we? But then Hadley thought she heard something outside, and, Reader, this post is going to take a serious turn.

All this time, one of HD’s friends was over, but she was outside working with her horse that she boards here. Let’s call her Jessy.

Hadley opened the door and yelled, “Oh my gosh, Jessy hit the power pole!”

So, I am trying to process what that even means and we are trying to quickly find a place to set the bridal bouquet down and Hadley runs back inside in full-on panic mode.

” Guys, it is really bad and dad is calling 9-1-1.”

We all start running outside.

Caleb pops the puppy in the back of his truck, his mom has the bouquet and we all just run.

Reader. The entire power pole was ripped out of the ground and on top of her car. Both of her airbags were out. I don’t know much about power, so I am terrified that either she has been electrocuted or that someone is about to be. David just opens her door to get her out.

Caleb’s parents: How did he know he wouldn’t get electrocuted?

Me: I guess because he is an electrician? I do not know.

He gets Jessy out of the car, she is understandably very upset and we are trying to get her to the house. I look towards the house and see Caleb’s poor mother, looking overwhelmed in our driveway, and holding the world’s largest bouquet in one hand and trying to keep the puppy from jumping out of the truck with the other.

Welcome to our home!

So things got a bit chaotic. Some people were helping Jessy, some were going out into the road to stop/warn cars of the downed power line-the line was still live, and some people were making the important phone calls that needed to be made.

Me: David. How did you know you wouldn’t get electrocuted?

David: I didn’t. I just took the chance.

Reader. I still don’t fully understand, but apparently there is some box on the power pole and it was not touching her car-it was past the car by about 2 feet or so. I was told that if that had touched her car, things would have been much worse? I don’t know. But I do know that those first few moments were extremely terrifying and I am so grateful Jessy was not hurt or killed.

It took FOREVER for all the emergency responders to arrive, plus her parents were en route. We had Jessy set up in a recliner in our living room with a drink of water and there were just a lot of people in the house.

Caleb’s dad: Can I just get by you so I can wash my hands?

Me: I would love for you to be able to wash your hands. But since the power is out, so is our pump. And we have no water.

And, Reader. If I had a nickel for everytime I have had to say, “We have no water” this past month, I could have afforded to have a professional assemble the flowers.

The police/fire department arrive and walk into a living room that is exploding with people and flowers.

And, also, we had a puppy.

Fireman: Oh, wow. Are you all family in here?

Hadley, making a large sweeping gesture with her hand: Soon to be family!

And it got me wondering how Caleb’s parents are feeling about this new family their son is marrying into.

Jessy checked out fine. She remembered nothing. I don’t know-maybe she passed out? She had been working a horse in the heat and said she wasn’t drinking water. I really dont’ know what happened-but she was ok, and her parents came and took her home.

And then I remembered all the chicken marinating and the food that needed to be cooked and the hungry people that were all about me.

But, alas. I had no power. I could not cook. So I set out chips and salsa and veggies and hummus, sliced french bread, a green salad, and huckleberry pie. We ate in the dark and drank from lukewarm water bottles. The power didn’t come on until sometime in the middle of the night.

And, THAT, Reader was Thursday. And I have run out of time to write in this blog, so you will just have to hold onto your pants a little while longer to hear the rest of the wedding shennanigans.

And, also. We had a puppy.