Yes. Hello. How are you?
Welcome back to my thrilling year end recap. Of which I did not get done in time for the year to end.
Such is life.
To catch up please click here and then here. In that order. Or else.
July
1. Gladys was voted in by you, dear readers, to be the COW mascot.
You may ask, ‘Taylor! What is the COW?”
The COW is short for Comment of the Week. My dear pretend-friend, Mindee, coined the phrase.
You may also exclaim, “Taylor! You are such a liar. You don’t do the COW every week.”
I know, dear readers.
I know.
I am a very fickle girl and only announce a COW when I am feeling frisky.
Rest assured, being a COW is about as exciting as finding a wart.
2. On July the 8th, The Lumberjack and I celebrated our factual 10 year wedding anniversary.
And I wrote a helpful, albeit pointless, post on How to Lose a Guy in Ten Years.
Ah. The glory days. The days when my husband would highlight his hair.
Young Lumberjack, young Lumberjack, wherefore art thou, O Young Lumberjack?
3. This atrocity happened:
Oh. Be. Still. My. Heart.
4. The Parachute Incident
It was a proud, wifely moment of mine. A moment where I threw a fit and informed my husband, as well as everyone in a ten mile radius, that, and I quote,
“I NEVER WANTED THIS KIND OF LIFE.”
Good times.
5. I spent lots of time with my dearheart friend Bimlissa, as she was soon departing for mean, old Tennessee.
I am on the left, Bimlissa is on the right.
This was the one season in our friendship where I *think* I weighed less than Bimlissa.
Attention Bimlissa: Neener, neener.
Lest any of you are confused, her name is really Melissa. Keep up!
6. I posted the recipe for my favorite chocolate cake. Yum!
7. I discovered every single wall in my house is not, in fact, beige, like I had originally thought.
Nay.
The house is peach.
8. And, of course, we went camping. Here are some photos.
You know. To rock your world.
Tell me, dear readers. Was your world rocked?
Was it?
For the love of Pete, July has gone on long enough. Let’s move on.
August
1. In August, I was starting to struggle with all the huge changes we had made in our lives and the general craziness that the year had brought. I found this verse and clung to it:
“Yes this I call to mind and therefore I have hope: Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness. I say to myself, ‘The Lord is my portion; therefore I will wait for him”
Lamentations 3:21-24
2. More camping. But now, we have introduced “The Search for The Holy Huckleberries” to our camping adventures.
You see, dear readers, my inlaws are all insane. Oh, sure. You might think your inlaws are insane. But mine really are. It’s true! They actually like to camp and go without showers for days on end. They get all tingly inside when they fall trees. They bike. They hike. They climb. They boat. They fish.
Ok. Maybe they aren’t insane, per say. Perhaps they are just exhausting.
I mean, come on! Can’t we just sit and eat every now and then? Why all the activities?
In my book, exercise=insanity. Therefore, they are all insane.
Bonus Joke: My inlaws strip regularly on Thursdays.
hardy. har. har.
Simmer down, peeps. They are professional furniture restorers. Get your minds out of the gutter.
What was I talking about?
Huckleberries.
They also really like huckleberries. Yes. Huckleberries are delicious. But they are a pain in the hiney to pick. I LOATHE it.
Hours upon countless hours of wretched picking.
And for what?
Like 10 berries.
For the love of everything, just buy them at the Farmer’s Market.
3. More camping photos. Again, to rock your world.
Yes. We slid down rocks whilst wearing garbage bags. Didn’t you?
4. If you were reading my blog in August, or at least paying attention, you might remember Raul.
I heart Raul.
Here is the Raul segment:
When we go camping, we don’t always stay in a campground. In fact, we would prefer not to. But for this trip we did stay at one and the campground put on little events in the evenings that the kids enjoyed going to. One such event was called “Birds at the Lake.” The leader was from Portugal and had a slight language barrier, but he did a great job and it was very fun and entertaining.
I shall call him Raul.
Simply for the fact that Raul is a fantastic name. Of which I am not certain I am spelling right.
I think Raul may have transposed the letters in “Oh” . . .
thoughts?
He had about 3 or 4 songs with the word “ho” in it! Too funny. Or at least I thought it was funny.
He shared with us all sorts of fun bird facts, with a sprinkling here and there about bears.
And now, dear readers, I would like to present to you:
Raul’s Bear Story.
Raul: I went to state park south of here. I was walking and bird watching when I noticed movement in bush. I was not scared. I had my pepper spray. You know, seasoning? And that is my bear story.
Alrighty then.
5. I switched my blog from thelumberjackswife.wordpress.com to www.thelumberjackswife.com
Why?
Who knows.
6. My husband turned 30.
7. He is old.
September
1. In September, I took a much needed blogging break for a bit.
Does anyone else’s blog wear them out? Does anyone else feel super paranoid? Does anyone ever want to just delete their whole blog and pretend it never existed?
Is anyone else tired of getting asked any of the following questions:
“Why are you called The Lumberjack’s Wife?”
“I thought your husband was an electrician? I am confused?”
“Why do you write in a blog?”
“What is a blog?”
“Do I have to be on Facebook to see it? I hate Facebook.”
“What is a holla?”
“What is Ruralville?”
“Is that funny?”
“I used to read your blog, but I don’t have time.”
“Oh, do you still write in that silly blog? I haven’t looked at it in months. Have you read Susie Fantastic’s blog? She’s so inspiring! And she takes great pictures!”
“Do you make money? No? Why are you writing this?”
Oh, no. I have never heard any of that stuff. I was just curious if you ever had.
Can we all see why Taylor needed a blogging break? No? Yes? No?
2. We started homeschooling.
3. We found baby mice in our utility trailer.
4. Mabel, our smelly dog of 10 years started to get sick.
5. Picture Day!
It did not go well.
7. I was forced to dress up like a Pirate.
Then Kimberly called me Pirate Barbie.
So I showed her this picture to make her eat her words.
Take that, Kimberly!
8. I spent the entire day chasing after a bunny. And I threw a fit.
9. My poor Mabel dog had to be put down.
10. She and the bunny were both buried on the same day. It was a bad day to be an animal in Ruralville.
And thus ended September.
Happy Late Sunday Night That I Am Up Blogging But Should Be Getting My Beauty Sleep!
In the Year 2010
As 2010 is drawing to a close, I thought I would take a moment to look back at some of the events that occurred over the past year.
And so much has happened that I shall do this in not one, but four exciting installments!
Don’t pretend you aren’t ecstatic.
January.
1. In January, I seemed extremely focused to get in shape. I pretended like I was going to exercise daily for the rest of eternity and become the next Jillian Michaels. I am happy to report that nonsense has completely left my system and I am still fluffy.
2. I went to the dentist for the first time in six years. And I was deemed gross and unclean.
3. I potty-trained Handsome Dude. It was the single most exhausting trial of my life. I am happy to report that the boy is still doing well with the toilet. He does not, however, have good aim. He also insists on wearing his underwear backwards daily, which could be the reason why he has so much stress in his life.
February
1. In February, The Lumberjack and I decided to start looking for a house with land. I loved my house downtown, especially since my husband had remodeled it exactly how I like it. However, our growing family was getting too big for our cute house and I could see that my husband had a huge desire to own his own land.
Why?
I don’t know.
Maybe so he can stand proudly with his hands on his hips and look out at all the trees and vast amounts of dirt that he can call his own. Or, maybe it has to do with the fact that he can cut down a tree or burn some branches and no one will care.
Also: he can hunt on his own land.
These are the things that make his world go round.
2. Handsome Dude was really testing my patience. Which is odd. And unusual. And still going on.
3. My husband and I went to Cancun to celebrate our 10th anniversary! Oh, if only I could beam myself there right now. I loved that trip. If you would like to read about it, here are the posts: Airport, The Post Where We Were Nearly Scammed. And Charged 75k., The time I had to get my hair wet . . .
The night we didn’t dance, The time we got lost in Cancun, and then the last post that didn’t really have a specific purpose.
March
1. In March, we got a call that my grandmother was not feeling well, so we took a quick trip to see her.
2. That trip was also the first time we met, Amy, our soon-to-be-new-sister-in-law.
3. Also in March, my husband decided to give our baby a haircut.
The end result?
I am still bitter.
4. Handsome Dude turned 3!
5. Daisy Mae turned 6!
6. On the same day Daisy Mae turned 6, my new niece was born.
And I may have become stricken with baby fever.
Spoiler Alert: I did not have myself a fifth baby to satisfy my baby fever.
Alright.
That’s enough of this rubbish for today and I shall bid you all adieu.
Is that how you spell adieu?
Is anyone reading this?
But wait! We need to do the COW.
Last week’s went to Erin. Mostly because everyone in the comments section demanded she get the COW. And because she is funny. Even if it is at my expense.
Erin wrote:
I’m glad we’re only interfriends.
Since you’re going to stop showering and all.
Go give Erin a holla and tell her I don’t smell and that I am a lovely InterPerson.
Happy Wednesday . . . is today Wednesday?
I don’t recall.
Happy Whatever it is!