You may ask, “Taylor! Why the peculiar title?”
No reason.
But you must admit that saying “Razzle Dazzle” is super fun.
Try it.
See?
Genius.
***
This week, I posted a series of questions, of which many of you answered.
And I thank you. I thank you kindly.
So, I thought I would repost the questions and pick an answer.
See?
Very Razzle-Dazzle-ish.
1. Why is the meat thermometer not supposed to touch the bone?
From Jill: It doesn’t really matter. Cooking-types make that sort of stuff up to make non-cooking types think that cooking stuff is more difficult than it really is. (Can you tell which type I am?)
2. Why does my husband always look like this:
in pictures?
From Melissa K: Missing his front teeth?
3. Was Jeremiah really a bullfrog? Really? And if so, how did he have such mighty, fine wine?
Molly said: Jeremiah wasn’t really a bullfrog..he was a HUMAN trapped in a frog’s body…therefore it was a mighty fine WHINE he was having..cause, well, being a bullfrog he couldn’t have WINE, and if I couldn’t have wine I would most definitely whine….
And, apparently, I did not get the line right according to these observant readers:
Jen:Except, doesn’t the song say that I always helped him drink his wine? And I can’t believe I am even debating the lyrics of a song about being high.
Tracie:
Because I am a crazy lyric person, I can’t even make it any further down the page without saying that the song says
“I helped him drink his wine. He always had some mighty fine wine”
Whatever.
Razzle Dazzle.
4. I have to drive to town with a couple hundred pounds of elk meat in the back of my diesel rig on this very frigid Tuesday morn.
This is not a question.
This is a cry for help.
Joyce: The diesel rig needs to make a pit stop at Starbucks. 10-4 good buddy.
5. Should I become a vegetarian?
From Andi: NOOO!!! Everyone I know who goes vegan ends up gaining wait because they are hungry, and they eat way too many carbs. Choose lean meat. It is your friend.
You mean it is a bad plan to fill up on mashed potatoes and rolls?
6. Will somebody please share with me a delicious recipe that I can take to people when they need a meal that has the ability to freeze/unfreeze well? I fear my recipients can’t choke down chicken pot pie anymore.
Mindee:
I can help you with the meals issue: http://www.ourfrontdoor.us/in-the-fridge/category/freezes-well I find that the pizza wheels are especially popular for families with kids.
7. What is one of your favorite blogs to read? My goal is to track down all other blogs and destroy them.
Ha! Kidding!
Or.
Am.
I?
There were way too many to list. Sorry.
But here is one of mine:
http://ostricheslookfunny.blogspot.com
8. I was really kidding. I just like reading new blogs.
From Jessy: Liar.
9. How is it that when I sing in the shower, my voice sounds super spectacular? But when singing in the presence of human beings, it sounds dreadful?
From Jill: I don’t know. But I do know that I sang the harmony part in a duet on Sunday, and I was really really bad. Seriously. I freaked myself out right before singing, and then I couldn’t find my note. And then I couldn’t get a deep breath because a gnat was flying right in front of me and I was afraid of sucking it in. And then I found out that my mike was turned way up and the mike for the woman singing melody was turned way down so all anyone could hear was me singing harmony way offkey. It was a very long song. Everyone was glad when it was over.
10. What is your favorite book?
Too many to answer!
But I did just read The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins in one night, per Lani’s recommendation.
So, then I recommended the book to my dearheart friend Bimlissa.
Bimlissa, snooty as usual, told me she read it ages ago.
Bimlissa, keeping with the snooty theme, informed me that she will no longer recommend books to me after the Twilight Fiasco of 2009.
Summary of the Twilight Fiasco of 2009:
Bimlissa is on “Team Edward” and I am on “Team Why Am I Reading This Rubbish?”
We are slowly working towards a healthier place in our relationship.
11. What is your favorite TV show?
Too many to answer!
But my two favorites are The Office and The Big Bang Theory.
Bazinga!
12. What are your thoughts on Facebook Status Updates?
Jessy: I hate the status updates that tell you some sob story/statistics and then tell you you are a horrible person if you don’t make it your status too.
Rachel: Wonderful if limited to one status update per day.
13. Why do people play Farmville? I fear my sister is one of them. I hereby declare an intervention.
If you enjoy Farmville, I mean you no ill-will.
JoAnn: Farmville is the devil. I used to play. I quit at Christmas time. It took me an hour to open “presents” from other friends and I didn’t finish opening them because halfway through I realized that I had just spent an HOUR of my LIFE opening FAKE PRESENTS THAT ARE NOT REAL
Amen.
14. Why do my boys lock a door and then close it when no one is in it?
The Musician’s Wife: Because of Science.
15. Why do my boys steal food and hide it from me under beds and tables?
From Wichiepoo: To get the mouse out of your car trunk, they are doing this for you!
16. Why do my boys soap each other up in the bath and waste a half of a bottle of shampoo whilst doing so?
The Musician’s Wife: Because of science.
17. Why do they get out of the bath and run to the shower to steal the shampoo after I hid it from them?
The Musican’s Wife: Because of Science.
18. Should I write a “Parenting How-to” book?
Don’t answer that one.
19. Why, pray tell, is it that Daisy Mae can spell out her super long last name, but when I ask her to spell the word “went,” she writes, “wtni”
From Joyce: Because she is darling and knows that spell check is the wave of the future.
***
Some more thoughts on this picture:
1) I had been crying. Hysterically. I wasn’t easily adaptable. This was out of my comfort zone.
2) This picture is framed and in my mother’s house.
3) Yes. It is real.
4) No. I do not know what we were wearing.
***
And now, it is time for the COW
COW=Comment of the Week.
Keep up, people!
This week’s winner is Ada:
Story time: I was in banking for over a decade. One week every girl on my teller line got asked if they were pregnant by a different man. Every one. I thought it was hilarious until it was my turn.
Silly male customer: “Are you pregnant?”
Me: “Um, no.”
Silly male customer: “Oh, well maybe it is the shirt.”
Me: “Let me give you a little bit of advice. In the future, do not ask a lady if she is pregnant unless she is physically giving birth in front of you.”
Silly male customer looks at me with a little bit of shock.
Me: “Now, how would you like your cash back?”
I would like to point out that I was the tiniest I have ever been when this happened and the girl that stood next to me was a size 0. These were clearly just crazy people.
Crazy, I tell you.
I feel for you, Ada.
Oh, yes.
But let us not also forget the dreaded “When are you due?” question when your baby is a mere few days old and is sitting right next to you.
Not like that has ever happened to me.
Happy Weekend!
Razzle Dazzle!
You may ask, “Taylor! Why the peculiar title?”
No reason.
But you must admit that saying “Razzle Dazzle” is super fun.
Try it.
See?
Genius.
***
This week, I posted a series of questions, of which many of you answered.
And I thank you. I thank you kindly.
So, I thought I would repost the questions and pick an answer.
See?
Very Razzle-Dazzle-ish.
1. Why is the meat thermometer not supposed to touch the bone?
From Jill: It doesn’t really matter. Cooking-types make that sort of stuff up to make non-cooking types think that cooking stuff is more difficult than it really is. (Can you tell which type I am?)
2. Why does my husband always look like this:
in pictures?
From Melissa K: Missing his front teeth?
3. Was Jeremiah really a bullfrog? Really? And if so, how did he have such mighty, fine wine?
Molly said: Jeremiah wasn’t really a bullfrog..he was a HUMAN trapped in a frog’s body…therefore it was a mighty fine WHINE he was having..cause, well, being a bullfrog he couldn’t have WINE, and if I couldn’t have wine I would most definitely whine….
And, apparently, I did not get the line right according to these observant readers:
Jen:Except, doesn’t the song say that I always helped him drink his wine? And I can’t believe I am even debating the lyrics of a song about being high.
Tracie:
Because I am a crazy lyric person, I can’t even make it any further down the page without saying that the song says
“I helped him drink his wine. He always had some mighty fine wine”
Whatever.
Razzle Dazzle.
4. I have to drive to town with a couple hundred pounds of elk meat in the back of my diesel rig on this very frigid Tuesday morn.
This is not a question.
This is a cry for help.
Joyce: The diesel rig needs to make a pit stop at Starbucks. 10-4 good buddy.
5. Should I become a vegetarian?
From Andi: NOOO!!! Everyone I know who goes vegan ends up gaining wait because they are hungry, and they eat way too many carbs. Choose lean meat. It is your friend.
You mean it is a bad plan to fill up on mashed potatoes and rolls?
6. Will somebody please share with me a delicious recipe that I can take to people when they need a meal that has the ability to freeze/unfreeze well? I fear my recipients can’t choke down chicken pot pie anymore.
Mindee:
I can help you with the meals issue: http://www.ourfrontdoor.us/in-the-fridge/category/freezes-well I find that the pizza wheels are especially popular for families with kids.
7. What is one of your favorite blogs to read? My goal is to track down all other blogs and destroy them.
Ha! Kidding!
Or.
Am.
I?
There were way too many to list. Sorry.
But here is one of mine:
http://ostricheslookfunny.blogspot.com
8. I was really kidding. I just like reading new blogs.
From Jessy: Liar.
9. How is it that when I sing in the shower, my voice sounds super spectacular? But when singing in the presence of human beings, it sounds dreadful?
From Jill: I don’t know. But I do know that I sang the harmony part in a duet on Sunday, and I was really really bad. Seriously. I freaked myself out right before singing, and then I couldn’t find my note. And then I couldn’t get a deep breath because a gnat was flying right in front of me and I was afraid of sucking it in. And then I found out that my mike was turned way up and the mike for the woman singing melody was turned way down so all anyone could hear was me singing harmony way offkey. It was a very long song. Everyone was glad when it was over.
10. What is your favorite book?
Too many to answer!
But I did just read The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins in one night, per Lani’s recommendation.
So, then I recommended the book to my dearheart friend Bimlissa.
Bimlissa, snooty as usual, told me she read it ages ago.
Bimlissa, keeping with the snooty theme, informed me that she will no longer recommend books to me after the Twilight Fiasco of 2009.
Summary of the Twilight Fiasco of 2009:
Bimlissa is on “Team Edward” and I am on “Team Why Am I Reading This Rubbish?”
We are slowly working towards a healthier place in our relationship.
11. What is your favorite TV show?
Too many to answer!
But my two favorites are The Office and The Big Bang Theory.
Bazinga!
12. What are your thoughts on Facebook Status Updates?
Jessy: I hate the status updates that tell you some sob story/statistics and then tell you you are a horrible person if you don’t make it your status too.
Rachel: Wonderful if limited to one status update per day.
13. Why do people play Farmville? I fear my sister is one of them. I hereby declare an intervention.
If you enjoy Farmville, I mean you no ill-will.
JoAnn: Farmville is the devil. I used to play. I quit at Christmas time. It took me an hour to open “presents” from other friends and I didn’t finish opening them because halfway through I realized that I had just spent an HOUR of my LIFE opening FAKE PRESENTS THAT ARE NOT REAL
Amen.
14. Why do my boys lock a door and then close it when no one is in it?
The Musician’s Wife: Because of Science.
15. Why do my boys steal food and hide it from me under beds and tables?
From Wichiepoo: To get the mouse out of your car trunk, they are doing this for you!
16. Why do my boys soap each other up in the bath and waste a half of a bottle of shampoo whilst doing so?
The Musician’s Wife: Because of science.
17. Why do they get out of the bath and run to the shower to steal the shampoo after I hid it from them?
The Musican’s Wife: Because of Science.
18. Should I write a “Parenting How-to” book?
Don’t answer that one.
19. Why, pray tell, is it that Daisy Mae can spell out her super long last name, but when I ask her to spell the word “went,” she writes, “wtni”
From Joyce: Because she is darling and knows that spell check is the wave of the future.
***
Some more thoughts on this picture:
1) I had been crying. Hysterically. I wasn’t easily adaptable. This was out of my comfort zone.
2) This picture is framed and in my mother’s house.
3) Yes. It is real.
4) No. I do not know what we were wearing.
***
And now, it is time for the COW
COW=Comment of the Week.
Keep up, people!
This week’s winner is Ada:
Story time: I was in banking for over a decade. One week every girl on my teller line got asked if they were pregnant by a different man. Every one. I thought it was hilarious until it was my turn.
Silly male customer: “Are you pregnant?”
Me: “Um, no.”
Silly male customer: “Oh, well maybe it is the shirt.”
Me: “Let me give you a little bit of advice. In the future, do not ask a lady if she is pregnant unless she is physically giving birth in front of you.”
Silly male customer looks at me with a little bit of shock.
Me: “Now, how would you like your cash back?”
I would like to point out that I was the tiniest I have ever been when this happened and the girl that stood next to me was a size 0. These were clearly just crazy people.
Crazy, I tell you.
I feel for you, Ada.
Oh, yes.
But let us not also forget the dreaded “When are you due?” question when your baby is a mere few days old and is sitting right next to you.
Not like that has ever happened to me.
Happy Weekend!