The Lumberjack's Wife

Hello.  Good Morning. How are you?

I trust you all had a fantastic weekend. 

We had our first snowfall.  We watched Dumbo.  Dumbo is kind of a weird movie.  The Lumberjack was dumbfounded that it was made in 1941 and was in color.  We discovered we needed a new filter for our WELL.

You know what happens when you need a filter for your well?  You water is filled with tons of iron and clay-like matter.

And then your boys take a rusty-red bath.  And your boys, who are brilliant, both accuse the other one of “pottying” in the path.

Because everyone knows that potty, when it meets bath water, turns into a rusty-red clay.

Have you ever heard that statistic that half of all you will ever know is learned by the time you are the age of 5?

Pray for my boys.

***

Back to some Questions and Answers!

Don’t pretend you aren’t excited.

From Kelli

How long do you think you will homeschool the children?

Until the Jesus returns, unfortunately.

Or until they no longer needeth an education.

Or until we move.

Or until they put a fantstic school in Ruralville.

Fun Fact:  Daisy Mae asked me if she gets to do homeschool college.

I am pretty sure her homeschooled college degree will work in her favor in a job interview, don’t you?

and how do I potty train my 28 month old ?

Kelli.

Do you not recall my episode of potty training Handsome Dude?

I am not the gal to ask.

The only thing I can say is:

1)  If she is not ready, she is not ready.

2)  You gotta go all or nothing.  None of this “diapers at night” business.

Embrace the wet sheets and soiled clothes, Kelli.  Breathe in the smells and savor your blessings.

These are the joys of motherhood.

From Virginia Girl

Hmm, I’m curious about time management. Between taking care of your 4 children, homeschooling, laundry, cooking, house stuff, etc. how do you get any sleep? Do you get any sleep?

Yes!  I am happy to report that I do, in fact, sleep!

My life has changed quite a bit.  I did add homeschooling to my plate, but also a lot of others things have been taken off.  There are many days a week where we don’t leave the house at all.

Do you know how long it takes to properly clothe, sock, and shoe 4 children?  And load them in a ginormous rig? 

That right there saves me at least 2 hours a day.

My husband gets home later now, too, so it seems like I have more time some days to get everything done.  And I have been sending him to the grocery store more often since he is the lucky fool who gets to go to town daily.

Fact:  Lumberjacks hate shopping.

Fact:  Lumberjills didn’t really want to move to Ruralville in the 89th place.

Fact:  Lumberjacks who appreciate Lumberjills for moving to Ruralville happily shop for eggs, cheese, milk, and unmentionables.

Aren’t I crafty?

Ok.  I lied.  He won’t buy unmentionables for me. 

From Amy V

If you ever have time to read (which I hardly ever do) what types of books do you like to read? (By the way, I cannot remember if I have ever recommended The Hunger Games to you, but such an AWESOME book and series).

I have more time to read now that we moved, actually.

Books have replaced humans.

I just finished The Hunger Game Trilogy!  And I loved it!  I am now reading Little Women and it is tickling my fancy.  Some other favorites:

Gone with the Wind, Jane Eyre, Wuthering Heights, Mayor of Castorbridge, and The Diary of Sarah-something-or-other that someone else recommended to me earlier in the year.
If you had all the time in the world to do whatever you want (and money was no object) what would you do? If you could go wherever you wanted to go where would you go (and why)?

I would love to take 2 vacations a year that did not involve huckleberry picking, fishing, hiking, rock sliding, and camping hair.

The first would be a family vacation to somewhere fantastic like Disneyland.

The second would be a vacation with just that silly Lumberjack of mine and be somewhere super nice and warm.

Such as the one we took last February.

And while we are at it, I would like a nice swimsuit body and the ability to just comb my wet hair out from after a shower and have it dry on its own in a perfectly, coiffed style.

And I would like to hire somebody to paint my peach walls.

Ok.  Now I am sounding greedy.  Just the two lavish vacations will do.

From Sharyl, The Little Brown House:

Does the Lumberjack cut down your Christmas tree himself every year? If so, will you be using one from your own home in Ruralville this time? I have a feeling you have some fun tree hunting stories…

We have tried to cut down our own tree and have gotten in a fight each time.  You see, dear readers, I like Christmas trees that are thick and full.

And actually have branches.

These are hard to find up in the snowy mountains with kids fighting in their car seats and no suitable bathrooms in sight.

So to save gas and our marriage, we head to our favorite grocery store and get a beautiful tree, complete with thick branches for $19.99.

And then the Lumberjack takes it outside and trims it up a bit with his uber manly chainsaw.

I get my tree.

He gets to mutilate something.

It’s win-win.

From Erin

I have oft wanted to do a Q & A post, but I chicken out in fear that no one will leave me a question.
So I will surely leave you a question:

Why does your youngest child not look like his siblings? Do they have the same father?

Kidding! Kidding!

How about, what do you and LJ do in the evenings after the kids are in bed?

I realize that is up for misinterpretation. I am referring to G rated activities only.

Or possibly PG, PG-13, or R- rated activities, if you are watching movies only.

Well, I am fine with just vegging out in front of the TV and eating popcorn and soda.

But the Lumberjack prefers to sit on the couch, hold my hand, and profess is everlasting love for me as we gaze at the stars.

But a girl can only take so much romance, you know?  So we generally watch TV.

And, Erin.

Your humorous remarks about the paternity of my youngest child brought a story to my mind.

The Lumberjack loves to tease me about this situation.

“Taylor.  I know he is not mine.  I have forgiven you and am learning to love him as my own.”

I do not appreciate his humor in this situation.

Anyways.

I work in children’s ministry at our church.  There is this guy who works in children’s too, and I have not one clue what his name is.

I know, I know.  You are supposed to be friendly at church.  That is not the point.

For the purposes of this post, we will call him Gerald.

Simply for the fact that Gerald is a fanstastic name.

Gerald is always hollering (not holla/nor hola) to me from across the lobby.

“There she is!”

“Hey, you!”

“Here comes trouble!”

Am I trouble?

Anyways, I find Gerald’s actions to be odd.  But I smile and nod and get the heck away.

Because there’s one thing I know about Gerald:

I don’t know who Gerald is.

Anyways, I never told the Lumberjack about Gerald, nor had Lumberjack ever witnessed Gerald hollering at me.

One night as we were in the parking lot, Gerald walked by The Lumberjack and I.

Gerald:  Hey!  There she is! WooHoo!

And then he did that weird like thumbs up shaking thing that cool people, other than myself, do at times to express great excitement.

And Gerald continued to head into the building where he would be serving in children’s ministry, bless his heart.

The Lumberjack sighed and looked at me.

“That’s Little Dude’s dad . . .isn’t it?”

ha!

Oh, that made me laugh.

Lumberjacks can be and are, at times, humorous!

Who knew?!

For the record, I am sure Gerald is a nice guy who is just trying to befriend other fellow children’s ministry peeps.

And, just to clear things up . . . The Lumberjack is, most assuredly, Little Dude’s father.

Happy Monday!

For many years, months, weeks, days, I have been hoping my husband would bring me home a beautiful bouquet of flowers.

Tonight he brought home the next best thing:  The World Wide Web.

You know what happens when you don’t have an Internet connection?

A lot.

Seriously.  You can get lots of stuff done.  Truly.  You should try it.

Could it be that the Internet is a colossal waste of time?

I might be on to something.

***

On to the questions and answers post!

I am going to try to answer them all, but not in one post.

That would be excessive.

From Shannon:

If you can do it without giving the names away, how did you decide what to name your children?

Sweet Pea’s name was determined to be a short, one-syllable name.   Our last name is truly long and has 4 syllables, so we thought giving her something simple was the least we could do.

Her name was between Claire and the name we chose.  The Lumberjack made the final decision right after she was born

Daisy Mae’s name is a strange name of which no one has ever heard of and lots of people think she is a boy.

It is 2-syllables, so apparently we no longer felt the need to be kind to our children regarding their endless last name.

We chose it because it was the only name we both said, “sure” to.

The boys names were the hardest.  I know I have shared this before, but Lumberjacks are uber difficult when it comes to picking out a boy name.

His contributions?

Tuck

Gunther

Chick

Link

If you like any of the above names, I mean you no ill-will.

After I threatened to dress him in clothes from the GAP, he came to see the light and we chose sensible names for both the boys.

Who each have a 2-syllable name.

Fact:  Lumberjill has no beef with The Gap.  But Lumberjack does.

Even Funner Fact:  Thanks to Handsome Dude, we don’t have any beef at all!

(That was an inside joke for peeps who have read this blog for a fortnight or seven.)

What’s your favorite “date” after getting married?

I thoroughly enjoyed our entire Cancun vacation.  I blogged all about it and you can find it starting here.

Is LucyFur being trained as a hunting dog?

I don’t think this thought has even permeated my husband’s mind.

Let’s keep it that way.

From Namacura

Hola! What is your favorite holiday memory with your children?

For the love of Pete, Namacura!

It’s Holla!  Not Hola.

Sheesh, Amiga. 

Sheesh.

I really like decorating the Christmas tree with the kids. This may come as a shock to you, but my husband isn’t the least bit festive.  So as the kids have gotten older, I have had more fun getting into the spirit of things.

Would you like to hear a story about my husband and decorating?

Each year since we wed, I have asked him to hang outdoor Christmas lights.  And he refuses.

He’s such a snooty-pants.

One year, I called him from the store and informed him that this was the year he would be making his lighting debut. 

Me:  I am at the store.  I am buying lights.

David:  Whatever, Taylor.

Me:  How many strands should I get?

David:  Um.  Zero.

Me:  No.  We are doing this.

David.  We don’t have any electricity on the outside of the house.

Me:  Seriously?

David:  Yes.

Me:  Fine.  But next year is the year.

David:  Whatever, Taylor.

So, I was distraught and dismayed and drove home.  As I was driving, I had an epiphany.

Yes.  An epiphany.

And as soon as I came home, I let him in on the epiphany, too.

Me:  Um.  YOU ARE AN ELECTRICIAN.

David:  Yeah.  I can’t believe you fell for that one.

Me:  How long would it take you to hook up the outside electricity?

David:  20 minutes tops.

Me:  Can you PLEASE do it?

David:  Taylor.  Look outside.  What is on the house?

He had a point, friends.  He had a point.

You see, dear readers, we were in the process of building our home.  And we had not a bit of siding on the house.  Just lovely white paper that read:

“TYVEK  TYVEK  TYVEK  TYVEK.”

David:  Nothing says “Christmas” like illuminating “Tyvek.”

I will have you know that I still have never had Christmas lights.

From Katie

Hmmm…real question…let’s see. What’s a funny dating/early marriage story that you haven’t shared with us?

When we were first dating, we were always leaving little gifts for each other on each other’s windshields while we were at work.

These were nice gifts, man!

Like, I would get flowers and a gift certificate to somewhere.

I would like to state for the record that my windshield has been a barren wasteland for 10 years.

But that is neither here nor there.

Once during this era of mass gift-giving, I noticed David was a little miffed at me.

Me:  Is something wrong?

David:  Well, I think it was kind of rude that you didn’t thank me for the flowers the other night.

Me:  What flowers?

David:  The flowers I left on your car!

Me:  I didn’t get flowers!

David:  Well, I left them for you.

After many minutes of hurting feelings and bitterness, I had a moment of clarity.

Me:  David.  Did you know that someone else who works near me has the same exact car as me?  And she usually parks across the street.  Is that where you put the flowers?

David:  Oh.  Maybe.

Me:  Hmmm.

David:  Well.  At least she knows I love her.

From Vicki B

What were you going to major in at college? How did Mr. Lumberjack end up an electrician?

I majored in elementary ed and I did graduate with my degree.

Which thorougly explains why Daisy Mae writes the number that comes after 29 like this: Eo

Mr. Lumberjack started off in school to be a teacher as well. 

Then he went into computers.

Then he decided to throw caution to the wind and become an electrical apprentice for . . . wait for it . . .

$6 an hour.

Those were meager times, folks.  Meager times.

Good thing I donned a hairnet daily and brought home the bacon.

***

Alright!  That’s all for tonight.  Thanks for the questions!

Happy Thursday!

PS- I was informed by The Musician’s Wife  that I was nominated for this Blogging Contest of Top Mom Blogs, so if you would like to vote, I would be much obliged.

Attention Mom and Dad:  You must click on the words “Blogging Contest.”  You will be redirected.  Do not be alarmed.  It will be ok.

I think I am around #88.

Thank you.