Wednesday Morning Mournings!
That was so clever, it impressed even myself.
***
Yesterday.
Yesterday was a day filled with frustrations, irritations, and sweat.
1) I woke up terrified about this Fat Tuesday nonsense. I don’t know how to Mr. Linky things. I don’t know about codes and buttons. And, there I was . . . about to attempt it all. Thankfully, it all worked out fine and people actually linked up.
2) Let us have a moment of appreciation for the kind souls who met the acquaintance of my Mr. Linky yesterday.
*Thank you*
Interruption: I think I need a proof reader. Why doesn’t anyone tell me when I have a big ol’ blunder out there for all of you to see?
Did you know that on Monday, I wrote that I was going to miss the way my children felt while, “smuggling in my laps?”
And yesterday, I was good on my “low cholesterold diet.”
Seriously.
3) After I posted, I needed to write out my camping grocery list. This is a feat in and of itself.
4) Why, yes! We are going camping.
Again.
Surprise!
5) I have heard from a few very reliable sources that the area we are camping in is having a “bear” problem these days.
This discourages me.
Bears+death+anywhere near the vicinity of my babies does not equal a good time in my book.
6) According to my in-laws, there are some super fun “rock slides” we will be sliding down and we need to bring garbage bags to sit in while we slide down these rocks into a river.
Does anyone else think I should make my kids wear helmets?
Who are these people I married into?
7) Shoot! I was talking about yesterday, and now I am droning on and on and about camping.
8) My goal yesterday was to leave podunkville by 11:15, in order to get all the items accomplished that I must get accomplished.
9) Things were going according to plan when my day was interrupted by a caller who would like to book our other house for a vacation rental.
And, because we need money to live, the call had to take precedence over all the things I needed to be doing.
10) She asked me to email her a rental agreement immediately so she could book for next week. So, I hop on my computer.
11) Do you recall when I mentioned that I forgot to enter in my Microsoft Office trial key when we bought our computer? Well, guess what! If you don’t enter it, eventually the computer gets mad at you. And then, when you are really stressed for time and you need to edit a document entitled, “Vacation Rental Agreement,” the computer will sense that you are stressed and rushed and deem that the most opportune time to FREEZE all documents saved in Word so that you cannot edit, copy&paste, save . . . nothing.
So, I , in all my professionalism, email her back that my computer is acting stupid and I will have to email her later.
Go, me!
12) It is now noon. While I was on the phone with the Would-Be-Renter, my darlings got into the Red Vines and got all their bikes out.
Raise your hand if your kids get uber naughty while you are distracted whilst on a phone call.
13) So, it is hot out. I must switch car seats from my ginormous Ford Excursion to the tiny gas-friendly Honda Accord.
Have you ever tried to shove a large cooler into the trunk of a Honda Accord?
It is not fun.
But I do it all merely in hopes that when my husband comes home and inquires of me which car I used, he will be pleased with my frugal-efforts and deem me his help-meet.
14) The air conditioning does not work in this car.
15) The CD player does, though. And we are listening to “Charlotte’s Web” on our long drives to and fro.
Delightful!
16) First stop: Costco.
First purchase: Microsoft Office.
So much for frugal.
17) Next stop: Walmart. We are way behind schedule. I am going up and down the aisles muttering things to myself, such as:
“Shoot. I forgot butter.”
“Where is the cheese?”
“Do we need more bread?”
The kids are doing their best to keep up and Little Dude, who is sitting in the cart, is poking my belly-chubs and giggling hysterically.
And I didn’t even have time to stop him.
I suspect, dear readers, that yesterday, me and my clan embodied everything that people make fun of Walmart Shoppers for.
18) My trunk is too full and the cooler is too big and I can’t get it out and the ice won’t break up and the kids have sacks of potatoes, diapers, and boxes of waterbottles under their feet.
Note to self: The Honda is not a good choice on the Costco/Walmart combo day.
No matter how much gas I save.
19) We are now 15 minutes late to our first meeting with our homeschool contact teacher. We walk in sweaty and cranky, for no one has had a nap.
Not even me.
Here are some events that occurred during that meeting:
*The kids wanted a snack
*The kids were thirsty
*The kids wanted to color
*The boys fought over a train
*Little Dude start whacking Handsome Dude in the head with an airplane in hopes of acquiring the aforementioned train
*Little Dude needed a time out
*The contact teacher is now shouting the information I need over the wails of Little Dude, who is protesting his time out.
*Handsome Dude keeps trying to escape
*The girls interrupted us with 4.2 billion pictures they created for me with love
*I was really, really, really, really sweaty
*While I was completely engrossed with the information the contact teacher was relaying to me, Little Dude wandered off, found the contact teacher’s office, and began playing on her computer.
I suspect that I impressed the socks off my contact teacher and I would not be surprised, dear readers, if she has full confidence in my ability to rear my four children adequately all while giving them the education they need.
20) Next stop: playdate. I plan to leave by 5, yet I leave by 5:30.
Aren’t I rude?
21) Get home at 7pm to find my husband falling a tree on our very own land.
It was only a matter of time, friends.
It was only a matter of time.
22) I inform my husband that I simply cannot take the Honda on days like today and can we please look for a minivan instead.
23) He told me I had to find one that gets 30mpg.
So, dear readers. Help me. Are there any minivans that get good gas mileage?
And where can a sweaty mom like me find one for a super-smokin’ deal?
Please advise.
