The Lumberjack's Wife

Pointless Discussions on this Thursday Morn

Posted on July 15, 2010 by Taylor

1. We have been in our new home in Ruralville for about 1 month.

And so, far this is what we have destroyed:

*Dishwasher is all messed up. Both boys have stood on it when it was open, bending and pulling it from wherever it is anchored. Therefore, the dishwasher is all tilted and, if the dishwasher is feeling feisty, the bottom rack full of plates and other heavy dishware rolls right out and crashes to the floor.

Good times.

*Some of the blinds have been broken. Boys. Boys, Boys, Boys. It was all the boys’ fault.

Shocking. I know.

*Daisy Mae kicked in the girls door while trying to surprise Aunt Meagan on the grand tour of our new plantation. There is now a hole in the door.

Surprise!

*The kitchen floors have dents in them from the cabinet breaking and all of my Christmas dishes crashing to the ground.

So . . . . yeah.

It is good to know we are drastically decreasing the home value of our new place by the minute.

We truly are wise investors.

2. I fear Handsome Dude needs some help with learning his colors.

I realized this when we were at the beach the other day.

Do you see the pink floatie and the green floatie?

Well, at one point during our day, he stole them (shocking, I know) and offered one to his brother, whom he lovingly calls “Cokey.”

Handsome Dude: Cokey! Wanna go swimming? You take the blue one and I will take the “lellow” one.

So, last night at dinner, I was trying to teach him colors.

Me: Dude! What color is your shirt?

Handsome Dude: Red!

(This was right! Color me surprised! get it? get it? hardy-har-har!)

Me: Good! What color is Sweet Pea’s shirt?

Handsome Dude: Um . . . baby! No, stars! No, hot!

Hmmm . . . .

3. Speaking of Handsome Dude, last week he woke up at 6am, per usual, and came weeping and wailing up the stairs.

HD (short for Handsome Dude . . . keep up, people!): My bed got me dirty!

Me: Huh?

I looked at him. He is soaking wet.

HD: My bed! It made me dirty! Bad bed!

Me: Dude. Did you pee your pants?

HD: No! I not! My bed did it!

Me: Dude. Do not tell lies. Did you pee in your bed?

HD: Yes!

4. Let us continue on with Handsome Dude, shall we?

This poor boy is certain that my dad, his PopPop is coming for a sleepover in his bed.

And every day, he has announced that PopPop will be sleeping with him soon and he must go prepare his bed for his special guest.

Attention PopPop: Be afraid. Be very afraid. And since Handsome Dude’s bed is known to randomly get its inhabitants wet, I suggest wearing a poncho.

5. Yesterday, The Lumberjack had a day off. This is a rarity.

He was doing all sort of manly activities, such as moving around rigs, loading up rigs, and changing oil in rigs.

At one point he moved our Excursion.

Then he left on some errands for quite a while.

I began to notice that Mabel, our smelly dog, was missing. I would call for her, and she would not come.

After about 6 hours of her missing, I decided I needed to do a little more of a thorough search.

No luck.

As I was walking back into the house, I heard a faint “tap, tap, tap.”

I opened the door to the Excursion and out she came!

Holy Hotness, Batman!

She had survived 6 hours trapped in a hot car.

She was alive, happy, and drank 3.7 gallons of water.

It was a Festivus Miracle!

(Name that TV Show)

Fact: Lumberjacks and their wives to not suggest trapping any live creatures in hot vehicles for 6 hours.

6. Sweet Pea wants to set up a lemonade stand out here in Ruralville.

She is sure she will make a fortune.

Good luck, Sweet Pea.

Good luck.

7. My friend, Bimlissa, is moving across the country in about 9 days.

In honor of her departure, I shall post this recent picture of her, I, and our other friend, Alisa after our beach date.

Fun Fact: At one point in our friendly-mom-ish lives, all 3 of us drove similar white minivans.

Even Funner Fact: At the beach, we discussed varicose veins and pregnancy related swelling.

Most Funnest Fact of all: We know we still got it.

Happy Thursday!

Posted in Uncategorized | 22 Comments

She is Just. Too. Popular.

Posted on July 14, 2010 by Taylor

Today is my little sister, Meagan’s birthday.

She is now 25 whole years old.

In honor of her special day, I would like to share with you my favorite memory of my sister.

If I may be so inclined.

Back in the early 90’s, this was me and my siblings:

I am the one with the giant leg straddling the couch, my brother, Danny, is the cool dude smack in the middle, and my sister is the little one in pink.

And, I would like everyone to know that to this very day, whenever my siblings and I have conglomerated, we jump right into that position for a fun family moment.

We are that close.

It was around this time that I was about 12 years old. My brother was 10. My sister was 8.

When I was 12-ish, life was not so easy for me.

I had started to put on weight and was smack dab in the middle of those fabulous junior high years, complete with pimples, periods, perspiration, pudge, portliness, pouting, and, of course, friend drama.

Well, one night at dinner, we were all conversing and having a jolly good time when we noticed my sister had dropped her fork and was loudly sobbing into her food.

Us: Meagan! What is the matter?

Meagan: *sob*wail*sob*wail*sob*

Us: Meagan! What happened?

Meagan: I just had a really bad day at school.

Boy, could I relate. Every day was hard for me.

I took another heaping helping of my mother’s delicious home cooked food, and gave my sister my full attention.

Us: Well . . . what happened?

Meagan: I am just SO popular!

Now, this statement made me stop eating.

Meagan: Everyone follows me around begging for me to play with them, and I just can’t do it! I have too many friends! I am just too popular!

*sigh*

I ain’t gonna lie, folks.

My former 12-year-old chubby self became miffed, yes, miffed at my sister that night.

Here she was complaining about too many friends and I had been contemplating paying people to befriend me.

Oh, for the drama of puberty.

Good times.

I think during that time I was slightly jealous of my skinny little sister.

She was so little . . . so cute.

I was not so little and looked remarkably like my cocker spaniel.

Brace yourselves for the next picture.

It.

Is.

Doosie.

And now, dear readers, if you could just humor me for a moment, I would like to write young Taylor a little poem . . . from old Taylor.

“Those shorts are no good. Those shorts are too tight.

Say no to the button fly. It just ain’t right.”

Thank you.

This promise I make to you: As God is my witness, I shall never wear button-fly pants again.

Happy Birthday, Meagan!

Love,

Your older-wiser-zipper-wearing sister.

Posted in Uncategorized | 20 Comments

Stand down, readers! Stand down.

Posted on July 13, 2010 by Taylor

Yes. I am continuing on with my camping recap. If you would like to catch up, here are the 2 previous camping posts:

The Parachute Incident

The Breakdown

But to save you time, I shall inform you that all that happens in the above posts is:

A) I am forced to help my husband set up his ridiculous parachute.

B) My parents truck broke down and I get out of making dinner.

Why did it take me two whole posts to speak of those two matters?

I have no idea.

But I do know that I confused everyone with The Breakdown post, so I am going to clear a few things up:

1. Yes. My parents were coming to camp with us. They had their trailer loaded with all sorts of camping fun-ness and were towing it.

2. No. The campground did not serve pizza. We drove through a small town on our way back to camp and found a pizza shop still open.

3. No. The pizza was not good.

4. Our camping group was: my family, my parents (Grant and Connie), David’s sister, Lisa, her husband, Jack, and their two little girls, and David’s brother, Alex, came for just the day on Saturday.

Alright. Moving on.

Saturday.

Saturday was a lovely, hot day, so we loaded up and drove to a little beach area on the river.

And, of course, since Alex was there, something had to be created.

Because it would be unheard of to just sit and relax at the river.

This year’s invention was: The Rope Swing.

And, in true Lumberjack-ish fashion, Alex just happened to have a spare rope in his truck.

But, I mean, really . . . who doesn’t?

It was at about this point where I began loudly announcing that none of my children were going near that thing.

Off he goes.

Crazy boy.

Yet, not to be outdone . . .

The Lumberjack decides to join him.

Cowabunga, dudes!

So, that nonsense went on for a while. Jack, my brother-in-law, did not join in on the jumping fun.

He, like me, is not blood-related to these crazy people.

He, like me, often sits back and wonders how he got involved with the likes of them.

Even though it was a really hot day, the river water was icy cold.

Did that stop my children?

No.

No it did not.

Daisy Mae

Sweet Pea

Handsome Dude.

Little Dude

Here are Lisa’s girls:

Little Miss

Sweet Baby

Of course, here is my dad . . .

listening to his 2-song IPod.

Fact Check: According to my dad, he has well over 100 songs on his IPod.

So, there.

Jack, AKA, The Butterfly Man

There is a butterfly on his shoulder and one hanging from his fingers.

It’s a long story.

Fun Fact: Both butterflies had perished, but I don’t know how.

Alert: We did not kill the butterflies! I repeat, we did not kill the butterflies!

Stand down, readers.

And, finally, what river trip would be complete without Alex taking his annual:

“Hey, guys! Let’s see how far I can drive my truck into the river!”

moment?

Ha! Don’t even try to see what state we are from by looking on his license plate.

He has a winch in place of the license plate.

But, I mean, really . . . who doesn’t?

Last year when he tried to drive his truck into the river, he ran into some minor issues because he had neglected to put the gas cap on and his gas tank filled with water.

I don’t know why, but apparently this is a problem.

This year he wised up a bit.

If you can call that wise.

I prefer to call it foolishness.

But that’s just me.

Happy Tuesday!

Posted in Camping | 21 Comments

The Breakdown.

Posted on July 12, 2010 by Taylor

Welcome back to my camping weekend recap.

Alert: Sometimes it takes me awhile to tell stories.

This camping trip recap might go on all week.

Consider yourselves warned.

Soon after we set up The Parachute, the camp host made his way to our site.

“Excuse me, Taylor? Your parents are on the phone for you.”

At this campground, we do not have cell service. The Camp Host, however, has a working phone.

My parents L-O-V-E this campground so much, they have his number programmed in their cell phones so they can call ahead and check to see if the campground is full.

Remember my parents?

Turns out my parents had been en route to our campsite when their truck broke down.

Conveniently, their truck broke down about 10 minutes away from our home in Ruralville.

Yet, we were not-so-conveniently about an hour away.

My dad told The Lumberjack that his “serpentine” belt was broken.

Are you wondering what a “serpentine” belt is?

You are not alone.

So, we load all the children back into the rig and drive back to our neck of the woods.

The kids are slightly confused and keep commenting on how short that camping trip was.

Poor Lumberjacklings.

Such a life of confusion.

As we are flying down the river road, we come into cell service.

And now, for your reading enjoyment, I shall present to you:

The Lumberjack, and his family, in all of their Glory

Lumberjack to me: Dial Lisa.

Interruption: Lisa is The Lumberjack’s older sister. She is married to Jack, has two little girls, and is more woman than I shall ever be.

Me: Done. Do you want me to talk to her?

Lumberjack: No. I’ll talk.

Interruption: This is good news, since I had no idea what we were calling Lisa about.

Over and Out.

LJ: Lisa! Are you still in town?

Lisa and Jack were also joining us for camping. They are just super poky and had not yet made their departure.

Lisa: Yes.

LJ: Ok. We have a situation. Grant and Connie broke down.

Lisa: Uh-oh.

LJ: I need you to find me a Serpentine Belt.

Lisa: OK, will do.

LJ: Do you guys have tools?

Lisa: Yes, what do you need?

LJ: blah-blah-blah-blobbity-blah-blah

Silly readers! I knew not what tools they were speaking of!

Lisa: Of course we have those!

LJ: Call me back soon.

Sadly, we are out of service again.

I ask my Lumberjack 4.2 billion questions.

Here is a sampling:

What are we doing?

Why is Lisa getting a serpentine belt?

What is a serpentine belt?

Sounds like snake! ha!

What are Jake brakes? All my life I have wondered what Jake brakes are.

What are compression brakes?

Same thing? That’s dumb.

Why did you want to move to Ruralville?

Why don’t you highlight your hair anymore?

Where are we going?

When do we eat?

Do I still have to cook dinner tonight?

All of a sudden my phone gets 2 texts and a voicemail, alerting us that we are back in service!

Text 1: From Bimlissa (aka Melissa) informing me of something cute our girls did.

Text 2: My sister asking me to tell my dad about a job interview she has.

Voicemail: Lisa needing to know if my dad’s truck is a 2 wheel drive or a 4 wheel drive.

Sorry, Bimlissa and Meagan.

Lisa gets top priority.

Phone call to Dad.

Phone call to Lisa.

Text Bimlissa.

Message failed. Out of service.

Luckily for the Lumberjack, I am out of questions.

Cell service resumed!

Text to Meagan: Ok-but Dad is stressed and broke down right now. Not a good time to tell him. David is to the rescue.

Lest any of you are confused, The Lumberjack also goes by David.

Meagan’s return: What’s wrong with Dad’s truck?

Me: A serpentine belt? Jack and Lisa are en route from town with a new one. David and I are headed to tow the trailer. A tow truck is towing the truck. But Jack and David will try to repair truck.

Meagan: David and kin are uber impressive! haha! Refrain from telling Dad my news until he cheers up!

Me: Will do.

Magically, we all pull up to my parent’s truck/trailer fiasco at the same time.

Jack, David, my Dad, and the Tow Truck Driver all look under the hood and try to repair the truck.

Fact: The tow truck driver had a lot of strange facial hair happening. But that is neither here nor there.

The manly men come to the conclusion that there is more to this repair than a serpentine belt and deem it unfixable by them.

So, the truck gets towed to a shop and we tow my parents back to camp.

On the way back to the campground, I inform everyone that it is almost 10 pm and I am still hungry.

So instead of me grilling up some delicious Teriyaki Chicken Burgers-

*I will wait while you get over your amazement at my mad skills*

my parents treated everyone to pizza and we went back and finished setting up for camp.

And thus, Friday night came to an end.

Tune in tomorrow for more pointless recap-u-lations.

Or, be wise and stay away.

The choice is yours.

Posted in Uncategorized | 18 Comments

The Parachute Incident.

Posted on July 12, 2010 by Taylor

As you may or may not recall, we went camping this weekend.

We went camping at a river, about 1 hour away from home.

We were the first from our group to arrive at the campsites, and before all camping hubbub commenced, I forced my family to do a group shot using my camera’s handy self-timer function.

Yes.

I figured out the self-timer function on a camera!

Look at me and my bad self!

Fact: It was really the Lumberjack who figured it out.

You might say, “Taylor. Why is your husband not smiling?”

And I will reply, “Hello! Are you new to this blog? Welcome!”

100 (meaningless) points to anyone who can find a picture of my husband smiling.

Yet, I assure you he is a pleasant person in real life who does, upon occasion, crack a smile.

Sometimes.

I find that one of the worst parts about camping is the initial arrival and setting up.

The Lumberjack disappears and is climbing under the trailer, lowering jacks, leveling things, moving trucks, stacking wood, and all sorts of uber manly activities.

I am usually in charge of dinner on Friday nights, so I am trying to figure out how to get it all going whilst trying to keep an eye on four Lumberjacklings who cannot contain their sheer and utter camping joy.

Plus I don’t know how to light our camper stove and oven and I am unwilling to learn, seeing as how it requires throwing lit matches into fumes of gas.

So, when we arrived, this is what the campsite looked like:

Lumberjack: Taylor. Help me set up the parachute.

Me: Why? It’s not going to rain.

Lumberjack: I just want to set it up.

Me: Why?

Lumberjack: You are going to be thanking me when we are hit with a flash flood.

Me: True. And a flash flood certainly looks likely.

Don’t be fooled, readers. I know the real reason why Sir Lumberjack wanted to set up the parachute.

Interruption: Are you confused? Are you wondering why I am babbling on and on about a parachute?

(This picture is from last year)

The Lumberjack sets up this huge parachute to protect us from the rain and any other inclement weather we may encounter.

As we were pulling into the campground the camp host stopped us.

Camp Host: Hello, there!

Lumberjack: Hey!

Camp Host: Say! Aren’t you the fellow with the giant umbrella?

Lumberjack: Yes, I am.

Camp Host: Wonderful! I have been talking to everyone I know about that! Did you bring it with you?

Lumberjack: Yes, I did!

Camp Host: Oh, good! Well, you folks have a nice time.

So, that, dear readers, is precisely why The Lumberjack is making me set up this parachute.

Lumberjacks are so egotistical.

Before I know it, my Lumberjack has jumped inside the parachute doing who knows what.

My plan of attack is to usually sit and watch until it is absolutely necessary to help him.

Besides, I never know what he is doing.

Nor am I made aware of any sort of plan.

So, sit I shall.

But, darn my luck, he has beckoned for me to help him.

Therefore, the following incidents must be brought to you pictureless.

Me: What do I do?

LJ (short for Lumberjack . . .keep up, people!): Just hold the pole while I tie down the parachute.

Me: It’s moving! It’s moving!

LJ: That’s fine. Just hold it straight.

Me: It’s not going to hold. Kids! Everyone sit at the picnic table!

Kids: Why?

Me: So we don’t crush you.

The girls listen, the boys do not.

My parenting skills amaze even myself.

Me: David. This is going to fall.

LJ: No, it is not.

Me: Yes. It is.

Now, something has gone amiss with the parachute and it is covering my face, limiting my visibility and breathing.

Most importantly, I cannot see my children and I am holding up a huge log that is about to fall and crush my babies.

Me: It’s falling! It’s falling!

LJ: Just let it drop!

Me: The kids? Where are the kids?!

LJ: Just let it drop!

I held on for as long as I could and I pulled about 4 muscles trying to get it to stay up.

Using all my might, I was able to hold it up for about 6 more seconds, and then it came crashing to the ground.

And I did what any mature wife would do.

I unearthed myself from under the massive parachute and loudly informed my husband:

I NEVER WANTED THIS KIND OF LIFE!

LJ: Ha! Look everyone is staring at you now!

Yes. The whole campground was watching us.

One man was even taking pictures with his camera phone.

That Lumberjack. He always makes a spectacle of me.

So, I am able to get the log back up and hold it while LJ continues on with his parachute set-up.

Me: I wish we didn’t have to set this up. It is not going to rain.

LJ: It will be nice for shade.

Me: That’s what the trees are for.

LJ: Ok, Taylor.

Me: Before I met you, my idea for a fun weekend was going to the mall.

LJ: Ok, Taylor.

Me: The mall has air conditioning.

LJ: Ok, Taylor.

So, The Lumberjack finished setting up the darn parachute and I resumed my pointless picture taking.

Oh, and lest any of you are worried about the Lumberjacklings, they all survived the falling log, as well as their mother’s fit.

Spoiler Alert: We encountered zero flash floods.

And for the duration of the camping trip, our fellow camp-mates praised The Lumberjack hourly for his ample and generous supply of shade.

And every time he got a compliment, he would look at me and gloat.

Yes, gloat.

Lumberjacks.

They tend to be prideful.

Happy Monday!

Posted in Camping | 31 Comments

Bait and Switch

Posted on July 9, 2010 by Taylor

Thank you all for the anniversary wishes yesterday.

We did, in fact, get to go on a date.

And it was not, in fact, LJ’s dream date of driving the back roads and looking for deer.

As entertaining as that sounded.

We went on a date that eerily resembled my dream date.

Holla!

Go Popcorn!

*Random-Topic-Quick-Change!*

It’s that time again.

Let us take a moment out of our day to welcome Gladys back to the blog.

She’s thrilled, as you can clearly see.

This week’s COW (comment of the week) goes to Angela with her comment on “How to Lose a Guy in 10 Years”

“How not to lose a lumberjack in 10 years….
*Drive an insanely large diesel rig that he picked out for you.
*Cram four children into an insanely small vehicle that he picked out for you.
*Stoke a wood-burning stove for seven years in absence of a thermostat.
*Put up with wires hanging from your kitchen cabinet for years on end.
*Move to ruralville.
*Go camping with inlaws.
*Make him laugh lots and lots!
*Only speak well of him, through it all.
I think you’re doing pretty good!”

That one made me smile. I think I shall gently encourage The Lumberjack to read those fine words on days when he is feeling a tiddly-bit cranky with me.

I know what you are thinking.

How could anyone be cranky at me?

I find it odd, too.

Go say “hi” to Angela! She writes two delightful blogs:

Those with Young

Let’s Talk About Boys

I visit the latter one frequently, seeing as how I like to talk about my boys often.

I mean, really.

What is with them?

Yet, I loveth them.

*Random-Topic-Quick-Change!*

Did you know that The Lumberjack sang to me at our wedding?

Proof:

You may apologize now for calling me a liar.

I don’t want to talk about my hair.

Let’s focus on my husband.

How could a guy who shopped at The Gap, highlighted his hair, hung out at the mall, suntanned, and lip-synched change so drastically in one decade?

The Lumberjack then:

The Lumberjack now:

Isn’t that called “Bait and Switch?”

Aaaannnddd . . . I love him.

*Random-Topic-Quick-Change!*

Do you remember how on the 4th we found a spare pair of Handsome Dude’s glasses just laying in my parent’s yard?

Look at them now.

This is my life.

*Random-Topic-Quick-Change!*

We went to the beach this week with friends.

The beach in Ruralville.

Look at me getting visitors out in the middle of nowhere!

Fact: This is only because I hand out gas vouchers as bribes.

Here are a few pictures from our day:

Here are the dudes . . . hard at work, per usual.

Little Dude was a naughty little thing that day.

He felt he could swim across the lake.

And even though he would get in trouble and nearly drown upon occasion, he was bound and determined to head out into the Lake of Shining Waters.

(Name that Movie)

And I was bound and determined to put him in a time out on my lap for duration of the beach day.

I have to keep him alive.

It’s the least I can do.

I guaran-darn-tee you Handsome Dude was being a menace with that there noodle.

Look at the two mermaids we found!

Silly readers!

Mermaids aren’t real.

That is Daisy Mae and her friend, Cute Little Red Headed Girl!

They sure fooled you!

The towels were a gift from Jason and Sweet-Honey-Amy.

Remember Jason and Sweet-Honey-Amy?

I mean, how could you forget?

Is it just me, or do I find a way to link Jason back to almost every single post I write?

Attention Jason:

Who are you . . . really?

*Random-Topic-Quick-Change!*

We have a bird living on our front porch beam!

Can you see it?

Neither can I.

When I grow up, I am going to be a good photographer.

*Random-Topic-Quick-Change!*

I am pretending to be on Weight Watchers again.

I tried to bake low-fat cookies called meringues.

I honestly don’t know what happened to them . . . but they ain’t right.

Fail.

I tried to bake WW chocolate chip muffins.

I know what happened to them.

I burned them.

Fail.

I baked Little Brown House’s Black Bean Brownies.

I haven’t tasted them yet.

We shall see, we shall see.

Raise your hand if you feel that black beans absolutely do not belong in brownies.

Well, Ms. Brown House feels strongly that they do.

Moving on.

*Random-Topic-Quick-Change!*

We are pulling out soon for the weekend!

Can you guess where we are going?

Three clues:

1. I am tired.

2. I’ve been busy.

3. It starts with a “c.”

Later, Dudes!

Posted in Uncategorized | 22 Comments

COPS!, stress, love, and general hillbillyness.

Posted on July 8, 2010 by Taylor

Happy Anniversary to us!

Thank you all for the questions . . . they were most helpful.

LJ’s answers are in green and mine are in purple.

Fun Fact: I got slightly confused and I think I used numerous shades of green.

1. How did Taylor know LJ was the one?

LJ: Because I treated her the way she should be treated.

Taylor: He was nice, a hard worker, and respectful. And he was tall.

2. What was the most memorable thing LJ has done for Taylor?

LJ: Woke the kids up at 10pm at night to bring Taylor gas because she ran out about a mile away from home.

Me: He went to go and get me Cracklin Oat Bran cereal at 11pm when I was pregnant with Daisy Mae. Clearly, I needed it at that very moment in time.

Have you tried Cracklin Oat Bran? Is it not the most delightful breakfast cereal known to man?

3. Can you remember the first thing you had a disagreement over?

LJ: I booked a room at a nice hotel for our first Valentine’s Day. I got dog sitting taken care of. All plans were made. And Taylor was too embarrassed that people would know we went to a romantic hotel alone.

Me: The Peach Pie Incident.

4. What is your favorite thing about your spouse…the one thing you wouldn’t ever want to change and then…..what’s the worst thing about your spouse, the thing you want to change the most?

LJ: Favorite thing: Her brown eyes. Worst thing: She gets stressed out too easy.

Me: Favorite thing: His work ethic. He works very hard and helps others. Thing to change: Moments such as this:

Yes! That is my husband shooting Targets in his jammies off our new back deck whilst sitting in Handsome Dude’s toddler chair and using a throw pillow to position is firearm.

Aaaaaannnnndddd . . . . I love him.

Please note: My husband is wearing shorts, not his underwear, and this picture is posted with love, as well as permission from the Sharp Shooter himself.

5.Who has changed the most over the last 10 years and how many kids did you each want before you got married?

LJ: Changed the most: Me. How many kids did you want before you got married: 4.

Taylor: Changed the most: LJ Kids? 4.

6. What would you say if Sweet Pea or Little Dude get engaged at 18?

LJ: I would have a one on one talk with the fiance with guns on the bed.

Taylor: I would do a lot of praying, a lot of talking with them, and make sure they bought some AJax.

7. Is your life where you imagined it would be at the 10 year mark?

LJ: Yeah. Doing pretty good.

Taylor: I would have never believed anyone in a million years if they told me I would be living in Ruralville. Other than that, yes. Although, I always imagined my swimsuit body to be slightly more sleek. But you can’t have it all!

8. Are you going to have anymore babies?

LJ: Heck, no!

Taylor: No.

9. What is one big thing you really disagree about?

LJ: Discipline for children.

Taylor: Safety and general hillbillyness. See above picture.

10. What side of the family is more fun to be with?

LJ: Can’t answer that one.

Taylor: No comment.

Fact: The Lumberjack and I are not that dumb!

11. If you could live ANY WHERE with money to spare…where would that be?

LJ: I would stay in the same area I am at now.

Taylor: Ditto.

12. What was your favorite tv show/movie to watch together then? What is it now?

LJ: Then-Cops! Now-The Office

Taylor: Ditto.

13. Describe your idea of a perfect date night with your husband/wife.

LJ: Driving the back roads of the state I live in looking for deer.

Taylor: Definitely not LJ’s answer. Dinner out, movie with popcorn and a huge Diet Pepsi and NO KIDS!

14. What is the one thing your spouse does that drives you crazy (good or bad).

LJ: Good-Flagged for adult content

Taylor: Good: Flagged for adult content. ha! kidding!

LJ: Bad-stressed out too much

Taylor: When he behaves in this manner:

2009_9_20 161

and also this manner:

Seriously, Lumberjack.

Seriously.

15. Once your children have grown up and are living their own lives (you know, moved out) what are your plans together? traveling? waiting for grandbabies?

LJ: Working so I can afford to retire by the age of 90 because my kids go to the doctor a lot.

Taylor: I plan on travelling and spending lots of time with my kids and grandkids.

16. What is your biggest fear?
What is your biggest dream?

LJ: My biggest fear is not being able to provide for my family. My biggest dream is to own a bulldozer.

Taylor: My biggest fear is wearing a swimsuit in front of anyone over the age of 10. I lead a tough life. My biggest dream is to one day wear a swimsuit in front of anyone over the age of 10.

***

Well, there were about 10 more questions but I fear my Lumberjack has fallen asleep right here on this very couch.

So that shall be all for now!

Happy Thursday!

Posted in Questions and Their Answers | 33 Comments

Dishes crashing, awards given

Posted on July 7, 2010 by Taylor

Happy Wednesday!

I woke up this morning and wrote you all a super helpful post on how *not* to behave as a wife.

You are so very welcome.

I am fully aware that you come to this blog for helpful and pertinent life information.

And I aim to please.

I closed my computer and began to prepare a delightful breakfast for my offspring.

Please look at my kitchen.

I was at the cabinets to the right of the fridge.

Suddenly, the cabinet above the microwave shot open and all of my Christmas dishes (about40 different glass plates, bowls, etc), poured out of the cabinet.

I did what any responsible mother would do.

I screamed and ran in place.

One child, I repeat, ONE of my children came to check on me.

And she did not even seem to care.

Whatever, Sweet Pea.

Whatever.

Apparently the shelf supporting all this fine dinnerware broke.