The Lumberjack's Wife

1.  Look like a dork while trying to look like a bathing beauty.

2.  Look like this . . .

for at least 40 months of your marriage.

Please notice the gray truck behind the woman who resembles the Kool-Aid man.

That truck will be important in 0.8 seconds.

3.  Drive his beloved truck for about 5 miles across town with the emergency brake on.  Then scold him for the fact that his stupid truck is too big, too hard to drive, too ugly, too high up, and smokes too much.

4.  Finally agree to do something adventurous with him, such as snorkeling whilst in Cancun.

*Annoy him when you inform him that it would be great if your hair didn’t get wet.

*Annoy him when you inform him that every time you dunk your face in the ocean, your goggles fill with water, and certain death is near.

*Annoy him when you ask him if he is trying to kill you in Cancun, seeing as how he expects you to not breathe while snorkeling

*Annoy him when you demand that no fish touch your legs for the duration of this swell activity

*Annoy him when you ask him 14 times if you have mascara running down your face.

Folks.

Lumberjill is not waterproof.

5.  Call him at work, after he specifically requested you do not call him much at work, and inquire of him just what he did with his belly button lint that morning.

6.  Take pictures of a “dead” bat that is magically stuck upright on a screen.

Inform everyone and their mother that there is a dead bat stuck on your house and you don’t know what to do.

Plead with your husband to remove the bat carcass as soon as he comes home from work, as you are sure the carcass is disease-ridden and such.

Hide in fear of the dead bat when your husband goes outside to handle the “situation.”

Watch as your husband casually hits the screen with a broom handle and the bat flies away.

Ponder how you ever graduated from college.

7.  Attempt to be your husband’s help meet by doing some Price Checking for him at the Home Depot.

Take the Home Depot guy’s opinion over your husband’s and scold your husband for not knowing what he is doing, when in fact, your husband was right all along.

8.  Look this good at major family events:

Exhibit A:

Exhibit B

Exhibit C

***

Well.

We hit 10 years tomorrow.

Let’s see if he sticks around until then.

Happy Wednesday!

PS-Happy Anniversary to Tanna and her husband, too!  They got married on the same day as The Lumberjack and I did.

Holla, Tanna!

We had a very busy 4th of July.

We left our house around 10am and returned around 10pm.

Yet, I neglected to bring my camera.

This is my life.

Nevertheless!

I find it my duty to still report to you the events that occurred on that day.

1.  We went to church.

2.  The Lumberjack and I helped serve in children’s ministry at the aforementioned church.

Fun Fact:  I have been serving in children’s ministry for 5 years.

Even Funner Fact:  The Lumberjack has not.

Fun Fact:  The Lumberjack told me that if I moved to Ruralville, he would help me in children’s ministry.

Even Funner Fact:  The first Sunday we went to church after our move I signed him right up.

Regretful Fact:  I totes should have got more perks out of this Ruralville deal.

Raise your hand if you have no idea what “totes” means.

Moving on.

3.  After church, we were engaged to go boating, beaching, and barbecuing with my crazy-kin in-laws.

Yet, the weather was not agreeable.

60 degrees. Gray, cloudy skies. Windy.

Does this stop my inlaws?

No.

No, it does not.

Go to the beach we shall!

My in-laws are a strange peoples.

4.  I watched Jason BBQ up some delicious all beef patties while wearing swim trunks and a winter coat.

Remember Jason?

5.  We ate.  We visited.  We froze to death.

6.  Next we went to my parents house for another BBQ.

You see, dear readers, once you move out to the middle of NOWHERE, you have to make the most of your trip to civilization and visit every friend, relative, and acquaintance in one day.

For you know not when you shall see them again.

7.  There was a whole assortment of peoples at this BBQ.  My Uncle Greg was there and he was bound and determined to be in this blog post.  So he had his friend, Darla, take pictures with her camera phone and email them to me for your viewing pleasure.

Everyone say, “Hi, Greg!  Hi, Darla!”

Now, here are some events/photos from the BBQ at my parents’ house.

Please.

Try to contain your excitement.

 Event #1:

This is my dad and Uncle Greg.

They are showing about 3% of the stash of grilled corn on the cob they hoarded and hid from everyone else.

You see, dear readers, my dad brought in a platter of grilled corn on the cob inside for the rest of us.

Yet, unbeknownst to us, Dad and Greg hid a significant amount of grilled corn in the BBQ so they could have all they wanted without sharing.

And, as they were feasting on their vast supply of corn, us common folk were inside fighting over who got the last piece.

Whatever, Dad and Greg.

Whatever.

Lest any of you are confused, my dad is the one on the right.

Remember my dad?

 Event #2

My sister was there.

She brought with her two friends.

I enjoyed these three people for they entertained my children for most of the evening.

While they were playing an enjoyable game of freeze tag, I heard my sister scold Handsome Dude for leaving his glasses in the grass.

Sister Meagan:  Buddy!  You can’t just throw your glasses in the grass!  They are broken now!

Handsome Dude:  I not!

Sister Meagan:  Yes. You did.  They are right here.

Handsome Dude:  I not!

Me:  Wait!  His glasses are in Mom’s room! 

Sister Meagan:  No.  They are right here.

Me:  Sweet!  Those are the glasses that have been missing for like 3 weeks!

We all had a good laugh . . . a chuckle, if you will . . . over that one.

Attention Dad:  How did you not notice this while mowing the lawn?

Event #3

My cousin, who conveniently also goes by the name of Greg, was there with his new fiance Talia.

They were just engaged the day prior.

Sadly, this news must be brought to you picture less.

For I am a loser.

Event #4

This is a picture of me.

In this picture, I am begging, nay pleading, with my husband to build us a fire.

I would like you all to know he refused.

This is what happens when you are married for 9 years, 361 days.

He no longer feels the need to swoon me.

Event #5

This is my mom and dad.

My Mom:  Grant. It is cold.  Can you build a fire?

My Dad:  Yes, I can.

And then, he built her a fire.

Attention Mother:  Teach me your ways, O Wise One.

***

That concludes my recap of our cold, chilly, corn-filled 4th of July.

I hope you all had a splendid weekend!

Happy Tuesday!

On Thursday, Sir Lumberjack and I will be celebrating our “actual” ten-year anniversary.

(We cheated in February and went on our little trip early.)

When we got engaged, I immediately began to freak out and decided the following things were a must and bought them immediately:

1)  A bed.

2)  A Wedding Dress.

3)  A broom and dust pan

4)  AJax.  (I found a coupon-10 cents each!  What a steal!

*sigh*

This is what happens when 18-year-olds get engaged.

I got over my shopping frenzy and those items sat in my parents house during our one year engagement.

But at least we had AJax!

So, in honor of our anniversary, I thought it would be fun to do a Questions and Answers post in a He said/She said format.

For example, you will submit a question, then I will answer it and The Lumberjack will answer it.

I would most appreciate your assistance in this matter.

Happy Weekend!

Holla!

What a dreary, rainy day.

Oh! 

Idea!

Clue #1:  I do not live in Georgia

Clue #2:  Look out your window.  Do you see sun casting its lovely rays upon the beauty of God’s creation? 

Then you do not live near me.

That’s all the clues I should do.

Sooner or later you will certainly figure this out.

And it will be my own fault, gosh darn it.

Turns out I am my own worst enemy.

Of course, today is the day The Lumberjacklings and I were going to head to the local beach to play with the local ruffians.

Looks like it’s laundry day instead.

Again.

We have a lot of items to discuss in this super-fantabulous post.

So grab some coffee and gird up your loins.

It’s gonna be a wild ride.

1.  I updated my blogroll.  Check your link.  I may have messed it up.

This is not odd for me.

2.  The COW picture contest!

Oh, it was neck and neck.

COW A received 24 votes and COW B received 21 votes.

But I liked the idea of mixing it up and switching the cow picture from time to time.

I shall do that if I am feeling frisky.

For really, folks, this is as exciting as my life gets.

What else is there for me?

Meet the winner:

I shall call her, “Gladys.”

Simply for the fact that Gladys is a fantastic name.

Is that a girl cow or a boy cow?

Can there be a boy cow?

Are boys only called like studs or bulls or geldings or steers or something?

Attention Future Farmers of America Club Members:  What creature is in that picture?

Either way, I am still going with Gladys.

Fun Fact:  I am planning on homeschooling my children this year.

Pray for them.

3.  Because I am feeling spunky, I have decided to award the COW (comment of the week) to three, yes three, different people.

Why?

Because I can.

I just could not decide between these 3 commenters so I decided they were all winners.

Are you wondering what my criteria is for choosing the COW?

You are not alone.

Alright.

Presenting the COW Trifecta:

Ah.

Look at Gladys in all her glory.

Winner #1

JoAnn from Ostriches look Funny on the post Lagoons and Local Ruffians:

okay so…my kids have been known to get naked and PEE when I turn my back…in public places…like the church lawn. I guess I have ruffians.
That, combined with my two year olds tattoo…causes me to wonder…can we still be friends? Then I see the dog following you while you check out the LAGOON and I say, YES! We can!
The end

Now, that was just funny.

Winner #2

Melissa K from A Time for Everything on the post Happenstances and Ponderings:

Dang. I thought I was finally going to win some meaningless points with Dana Carvey, but Miss Molly and Kimberly were on the ball. That’s way ahead of your time, though, girlie. Did your parents let you watch SNL at age 8? Shame on the High-Fivers.

Ha!  She wins simply because she pays attention to me!

Just kidding.

Kind of.

Oh, that comment made me laugh.

Confused about what the High-Fivers means?  Click here.

No.  I did not watch SNL at the age of 8.  They do have this novel idea called “reruns” where one can become familiar with a television show that did not air during their appropriate life span.

I did, however, watch Full House when I was 8.

And no one can deny that in its day, that show was the bomb diggity.

Winner #3

 Melissa on the post Blogroll, Blunders, and Bovine:

i like your title today! it reminds me of bears, beets, battlestar galactica

Ha!

Name that Tv show.

4.  When I was pregnant with Sweet Pea, I received a baby monitor as a shower gift.

And even though my first house 700 square feet and I could hear anyone breathe in the house at any given time, I had that monitor with me constantly.

That monitor stood the test of time and took me through the growing up years of Sweet Pea and Daisy Mae.

By the time the dudes came along, I was feeling a little more secure in my roll as a mother.  And even though the second house was a little larger, I no longer felt the need for a monitor, seeing as how the dudes’ room was about 10 feet away.

But then we moved to Ruralville.

In Ruralville, my dudes and my flower girls sleep far away from me.

So, for the first time in about 5 years, I brought out the monitor.

Unfortunately, my dudes have never seen such an invention.

And, after living in Ruralville for about 17 days, the monitor looks like this:

Let us have a moment of silence for my faithful monitor of which my dudes mistakenly thought to be a walkie-talkie.

*Thank you*

5.  I would like to announce that this, the 2nd day of July, in the year Two Thousand and Ten of our Lord, marks the 12 year anniversary of when The Lumberjack and I started dating.

Holla, Lumberjack!

Holla.

6.  Do you remember back in April when we went to a birthday party at my brother’s house?

Do you remember?

Do you remember?

It was a 2 post special mixed with vomit, urine, and goober parent moments.

The Birthday Party, part 1

The Birthday Party, part 2

In the second post, the following conversation ensued between the adults at the table.

Allow me to copy and paste it, if I may:

“And now, for the Goober Parent Update.

The cast of characters in this update are as follows:

My Mom and Dad.

My brother, Danny.

My sister-in-law, Tonya.

Me.

And The Lumberjack.

This conversation took place at this very birthday party.

We are sitting at the table, eating cake.

Little Dude is completely covered in frosting.

My mom looks at Danny and says:  I bet you are glad you guys are out of the baby stage, huh?

My brother starts choking on his cake.

Tonya turns red.

Mom:  Oh, dear.  Did I say something?

Danny continues to choke.

Mom:  What’s going on?

My mother’s motherly instinct is insane.

It’s like a tractor beam . . . sucks you right in . . .

(Name that movie)

Tonya:  Well, we are thinking of . . .

Mom:  You’re pregnant!

Tonya:  Well, I might be, but not for sure yet.

Danny:  I finally talked her into it.

Tonya:  Yeah . . . I haven’t really wanted anymore.

Danny:  And then Taylor comes over, kids are puking, kids are peeing . . .

Tonya:  And then Taylor keeps making a big deal out of how old I am now . . .

Danny:  Yeah, Taylor!  Geez!  You are going to talk her out of it.

Me:  Oops!

My Dad:  What are you all talking about down there?

My Mom:  They are trying.

My Dad to the Lumberjack:  Trying to do what?

The Lumberjack: (turns beat red)  Um . . . better have them explain.

My Mom:  For a baby.

My Dad:  What do you mean they are trying?

Tonya:  Oh, dear.

My Dad:  I don’t understand this “trying” business.

My Mom:  Grant!

My Dad:  Either you are or you aren’t.

Awkward.

Danny:  Ok, Dad.

My Mom:  Well, that’s exciting!

Me:  Yeah!  You totally aren’t too old to have babies!

Danny:  Taylor, be quiet.

Me:  Hey!  I am going to be 29 soon.  Now, that’s old!

My Dad:  I don’t get this trying business.  I mean, how is this different than 2 years ago?

Everyone else:  Huh?

My Dad:  I don’t understand.

Me:  Mom.  Can you explain this all to Dad on the way home?

Dad:  Does this mean you might have another baby?

Danny and Tonya:  Yes!

Dad:  Oh!  Great!  I still don’t get this trying business though.

Mom:  We’ll talk later.”

***

Guess what!

A baby is on the way!

Woo-Hoo!

Congratulations to Danny, Tonya, Snups, and Big Dude.

I heard that when Big Dude was told he was going to be a big brother, he replied:

“This is the best day of my life.”

Now, is that not uber precious?

But here comes the tricky part.

Someone is going to have to explain to my dad how they no longer have to “try.”

One.

Two.

Three.

Not it!

 

100 (meaningless) points to anyone who can tell me what Meme mean

Jennifer tagged me in this little post so I thought I would participate.

Alright!

Here we go, Lumberjoes!

Interruption:  Raise your hand if you think Little Dude (yellow shirt) looks superimposed in my header picture?

He is not, I assure you.

Silly readers.  You know I cannot edit photos!

8 Things I’m Looking Forward to…

1) The end of swimsuit season.  It’s a real bummer.
2) A possible family trip in the next year.
3) Reading Jane Eyre.  I checked it out and it has been sitting on the counter unopened for days.
4) Reading Gone with the Wind.  Erin said I have to. It is on hold at the local library.
5) The day when Handsome Dude stops leaving his glasses buried in the sandbox of the playground.  That will be a glorious day.
6)Hunting Season
7) Ha!  #6 was a big, fat lie.
8 ) Going on a date with my main man for our actual 10 year anniversary!  Dang.  We are old.

8 Things I did Yesterday…
1) Spent an ungodly amount at Target and pretended to not hear the Lumberjack over the phone when he asked how much I spent.
2) Saw my cousin from Georgia, of whom I have not seen in about 10 years.

Interruption:  There.  Now you all now that Georgia is not where I live.  Clue #1.
3) Put clean bedding on 7 beds that were not mine.
4) Scrubbed an entire house that is no longer mine.
5) Saw a deer on the side of the road and nearly had a heart attack for fear that I would slaughter it with my diesel rig.
6) Saw this kind of a mailbox:

Had to ponder what sort of thoughts go through a person’s head when they look at this mailbox and declare to their friends and loved ones,

“Yes!  This is the mail receptable I shall choose!”

Interruption:  If you like this mailbox, I mean you no harm.  I have a thing against fish.  And their beady little eyes.  And flapping gils.  Gross.
7) Weighed myself in kilograms.  Thrilled to be under 100! 
8 ) Wanted to eat a brownie.  Too tired to actually fetch it for myself.  So I went to bed brownieless.

8 Things I Wish I Could Do…

1) Be a better wife, mommy, friend, and child of God.
2) Snap my fingers and have my whole house interior magically repainted.
3) Sell my stupid vacation rental home for 1 million dollars.

Lest any of you are confused, nothing I own is worth even close to 1 million dollars.

 
4) Go on a vacation to Disneyland with my Lumberjacklings.

It is, in fact, the Happiest Place on Earth.
5) Lose 20 pounds and then hit the pause button, rendering my body incapable of ever gaining another ounce, no matter how many brownies I cram in my mouth.
6) Sew buttons and patch clothing.
7)  Work my BBQ.  It is so darn tricky.  Plus I can’t light the darned thing.

Throwing a flaming match into an open gas flame goes against every safety standard I believe in.

8 )  Get the whole clean in one day and have it stay that way for at least one month.  Maybe two.

8 Shows I Enjoy…
1) The Office
2) The Cosby Show
3) Full House.  Don’t knock it.  It rocks.
4) Big Bang Theory
5) Hmm . . .
6) Well . . .
7) um….
8 ) I don’t know.

I’m tagging anyone who wants to do it!

Over and Out!

To read my first installment on how the universe is crumbling all around me, click here.

***

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yes, dear readers.

It’s that time again.

Time for me to share with you all my woes and angst, while randomly shouting, “Serenity Now!”

And it’s time for you to pretend to care about my troubles.

1)  Many of you might recall that we own one home that we are keeping as a vacation rental.

Turns out this is a lot more work/stress/money/stress/work than we initially perceived.

Weareexhausted.

After our first renters, the queen bed frame broke.

Serenity Now!

2.  The frame/headboard/footboard was given to The Lumberjack and I as a wedding gift.

10 years ago.

The Lumberjack, in all  his handsomeness, pulled out no less than 7.3 million power tools and began to repair the bed so it could function for our next group.

Then me, in all my portliness, decided to try to test the repaired bed out to ensure that it would be sturdy for the next weary travellers at David and Taylor’s Comfort Inn.

Folks.

There was a lot of creaking and moaning coming from that bed.

Creaking?  Moaning? Bed breaking?

This is unacceptable for David and Taylor’s Comfort Inn.

Serenity Now!

3.  On Monday I spent 3 hours cleaning that darned house.

The Lumberjack worked on the yard for about 1 hour.

On Tuesday I spent 3 more hours cleaning that darned house.

The Lumberjack was there for 3 as well.

On Wednesday I spent an additional 3 hours cleaning.

The Lumberjack was there for 1 1/2.

Looks like someone isn’t pulling his weight around here.

There has got to be a smarter way to do this.

Somebody.

Help me.

Serenity Now!

4.  In the past 3 days I have spent a ridiculous amount of money for this stupid, stupid, stupid rental.

You may ask, ‘Taylor!  How much exactly did you spend, pray tell?”

And I will respond, “Ha!  Silly readers!  I cannot say.  For if some random friend or relative ever mentioned it to my Lumberjack, he would have a conniption.”

A conniption?

Yes.

A  conniption fit and he would banish me to the closet without dinner.

Lumberjacks are mean like that.

And I am tired of spending money.

Serenity Now!

5.  The Lumberjack got the sprinklers working at the rental house around 9pm last night.

And discovered a sprinkler head was broken.

So, he decided to run to Home Depot really quick-like to fix it.

And he bought the wrong one.

Serenity Now!

Oh!  and more fun!  Handsome Dude broke the new BBQ the Lumberjack purchased for this house without anyone even using it first.

Serenity Now! 

Now!  Now!  Now!

6.  Do you know just how much cleaning is required for a rental?

Think about it.

If you were staying in a hotel, you would expect things to be super clean . . . right?

Like if you saw a dirty baseboard or a cobweb in the corner, you would be a little grossed out . . .

Or if the BBQ at the house had food burnt on it . . .

Or if you touched the top of the microwave and it was dusty . . .

Or if there was grossness in the bottom of the trash can . . .

Or if the box fan was dusty . . .

Or if there was a tiny, tiny, tiny stain on the shower curtain (I just  ended up buying a new shower curtain . . . shh!  don’t tell my husband!) . . .

Or if the oven has a small splatter in it . . .

Do you know how exhausting it is to try to clean a house to “hotel-ish” standards while praying that your 4 Lumberjacklings don’t create more of a mess?

Iamsotired.

Serenity Now!

7.  Do you know how much gas we have gone through these past few days driving from Ruralville to City House?

Serenity Now!

8.  My good friend Melissa, aka Bimlissa, just informed me she is moving across the country in like 3 weeks.

She is taking that Bimbaby that is dwelling in her tummy without me getting to hold him first.

Who does she think she is?

Serenity Now!

9.  My scale will only weigh me in kilograms.

Why?

Who knows.

I am sure I am gaining weight by the second, but I am too lazy to convert to poundage.

Serenity Now!

10.  The house in Ruralville has an alarm system.

Yes.

We are that high-class now.

However.

It is not properly functioning and my husband is trying to tell me that he cannot fix it.

Right.

So, randomly it will just start loudly beeping and scare the living daylights out of all of us.

I told him I am going to have to hire an electrician to come and fix this.

He said, “Sounds good.”

Ha!

Like we can afford one.

We’ve got to buy, supply, and maintain mattresses, box springs, bed frames, bed skirts, mattress pads, fitted sheets, flat sheets, comforters, pillows, pillow cases,  sprinkler heads, fencing materials, bath towels, beach towels, hand towels, wash cloths, dish towels, dish rags, sponges, tables, plates, bowls, glasses, mugs, strainer, cheese grater, serving bowls, BBQ tools, coffee pot, blender, toaster, pots, pans, silverware, cooking utensils, cleaning supplies, toilet paper, paper towels, trash bags, soaps, rugs, pillows, hangers, ironing boards, irons, door mat, broom, dust pan, mop, high chair, stroller, pack and play, curtains, bath mats, toilet bowl cleaners, toilet plungers, oven, refrigerator, dish washer, washing machine (still broken, by the way), dryer, water heater, electric cadet heaters, lawn mower, porch swing, porch rocking chair, kids picnic table, swing set, box fans, tv, satellite, dvd player, dvds, games, and a vacuum for a home that we no longer live in.

No.  The home that we live in currently looks like Weedfest 2010 and if we have any sort of company over for dinner, I fear they will have to eat on the floor.

Serenity Now!

11.  I want to sell the other house.

Serenity Now!

12.  I don’t care anymore that I felt all sentimental towards it and wanted to keep it forever and ever.

Sell it!

I wash my hands of it!

Serenity Now!

13.  These are the forks we have to use at Ruralville.

Ouch.

It’s a good thing we are never at Ruralville to eat.

Serenity Now!

14.  It’s a good thing I am not a complainer.

15.  Speaking of the aforementioned Bimlissa, look at what she got me for my birthday:

16.  My sister linked up this Whitney Houston video to my Facebook yesterday.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aiJ_2zQYUFg&feature=PlayList&p=53420EA42F4D0D91&playnext_from=PL&index=12]

Please watch this, as it is quite fantastic.

To this, I will not say, Serenity Now.

No.

I will instead shout:

Holy Hairbow!

She does have a point, you know.

How will one know?

Hmmm . . . things to ponder.

Happy Thursday.

 

Howdy-ho!

I recently removed my blogroll.

Why?

Because I fell behind in updating it.

Then I became confused and perplexed as to who was on there and who was not on there.

Frightened and weak I soon became . . . worried that there were bloggers out there in cyberspace who felt they should be on my blogroll, and sadly, they were not.

So, I removed my blogroll, began to suck my thumb for the first time since kindergarten, and hid in the corner, afraid of what you all might think of me.

But then . . . a stroke of genius hit me.

I will make you do the hard work for me!

Ah!

Brilliant!

Do you have a blog?  Do I stop by your blog?  Would you like to be on my blogroll?

Spoiler Alert:  Being on my blogroll is not exciting.

Take a gander to the sidebar on the right.

If you are not on there and would like to be, please leave your blog address in the comment section of this here post.

***

Oh.

My.

Gosh.

Beckies.

(Name that song)

Yesterday, I posted a picture that revealed top secret Lumberjackling information.

Did you see it?

Did you see it?

If you did . . . hush up!

I posted a picture of Handsome Dude having a pentecostal moment and forgot that on the boys’ pajamas, my mother-in-law had lovingly stitched on their factual names.

And some of you were able to see the factual names.

*Gasp!*

That’s right, folks.

We had a breach in security over here.

Two darlings, Teresa Dawn and Jennifer discreetly pointed my blunder out for me.

And Teresa Dawn, who must recall that I am, in fact, a complete and utter nincompoop, edited the photo and emailed it to me, allowing me to upload a safe, mistake-free photo to the blog without me having to yell and curse at the computer while attempting to fix it myself!

Go, Teresa Dawn!

Fact:  Lumberjill does not curse.

Go say hello to Teresa Dawn and Jennifer.

***

I asked for a new COW picture.  I can’t decide which one to use.

So, I thought we would have a little votesie.

Because I am certain you care deeply about which picture of a cow I use for the COW.

COW A suggested by The Musician’s Wife: 

This photo is courtesy of The Pioneer Woman.

Don’t worry, Ree!

Rest assured . . . you are already on my blogroll.

Lest any of you are confused, Ms. Pioneer Woman knoweth not that I exist.

COW B suggested by Jessy:

I don’t know where this one came from.

I guess it just magically appeared!

So, there you have it!  Two COWS to choose from.

Here is your mission if you should choose to accept it.

Leave a comment and please include the following:

1.  Your blog if you want to be on my blogroll.

2. If you saw my boys’ names yesterday, say:  You are a goober.

If you did not see them say:  I am a goober.

3.  Tell me if you like COW A or COW B

Thank you.

Have a splendid and divine Wednesday.

Is “happenstances” a word?

I vote yes!

Simply for the fact that it sounds fantastic.

Well, here are some recent happenings, or happenstances, if you will, in our lives.

1.  Turns out owning property is a lot of work! 

Who knew?! 

 We spent a few hours on Saturday morning working on the terrible weed situation that has plagued our rolling hills.

Yet, we hardly made a dent.

I am exhausted just thinking about it.

2.  Is it sad that I really want my own pair of work gloves after that treacherous, thorny morning?

Yes.

Yes, it is.

3.  Is it sad that I am considering looking into the Carhartt’s Ladies Ranchwear clothing line for next year’s Christmas list?

Yes.

Yes, it is.

But, folks . . . this is now my life.

Goodbye, Gap!

Hello, Wranglers.

4.  I am terrified of hitting a deer.

5.  I now have to bring a cooler in my “rig” for grocery shopping.

Yes.

I am one of those people.

6.  Our first renters for our trial vacation home left yesterday.  They left me flowers!  Go me!

Dear Lumberjack,

Take notes.

Love, Lumberjill.

7.  Turns out that cleaning up after other people is kind of gross.

Who knew?!

I think I should wear gloves.

Thoughts?

8.  Yesterday, I mentioned how Handsome Dude just randomly shouted,

“Jesus and God!”

It made me think of this picture of him:

He is on the left.

Turns out my boy is prone to pentecostal moments.

Aaaaannnndddd . . . I love him.

Jesus and God!

9.  We are considering getting a new puppy.

We are stupid like that.

10.  The mail at our new house comes at like 9:30am.

This leaves no room for error or forgetfulness.

11.  Our family is exhausted.  We want to go camping.

12.  I think brownies are delightful.

13.  I need to embrace exercise in my life.

14.  I still heart carpet.

Silly readers.

You can tell me all the cons about carpet over and over again.

But, alas!

I do not care.

For I have lived with wood floors since the day I married my Lumberjack.

And I’ve done had my fill of them.

15.  It seems as if I have ignited some curiosity in my readers as to where I live.

Trust me.

It’s not that exciting.

But, I must not share.

Wouldn’t be prudent at this juncture.

(Name that SNL actor)

Later, Dudes!

Happy Tuesday.