So, as I mentioned last night, we finally closed on our new house in Ruralville.
But, yesterday . . .
Yesterday was a doosie.
Allow me to elaborate, if I may.
We have been waiting for about a week to hear what our closing day and time is. Since this was a short sale, we are on some weird time frames and things had to happen pretty fast, once we got approval. Apparently in a short sale,( and remember, I am an idiot in these matters so I could have this all wrong) pay-off amounts for the mortgage or mortgages must be negotiated and then they are given an “expiration date”, if you will.
This house had 3 mortgages.
It took FOR . . . EV . . ER . . .to get the payoff amounts. And when we did get the payoffs, we were told they were good until June 9th, so we had to close by then.
You might ask, “Taylor. What would happen after June 9th if you did not close?”
Well, dear readers . . . I suspect the whole universe would collapse and pigs would start flying.
So, the bank has been scrambling to close by June 9th. We heard on June 8th that we were having a 10am closing, but they would let us know.
Great.
Fine.
Just please make sure we don’t miss the graduation.
Yes, that’s right.
Daisy Mae’s kindergarten graduation was June 9th from 3 to 4:30ish.
I get a call around 8am from dashing and dapper Lumberjack saying that our closing at 10am was on hold due to one paper needing to be signed.
Fine.
So, I had to arrange a backup person to pick up Daisy Mae from Kindergarten at 11:45.
I get a call around 9:30 from the bank saying they need David and I to sign a paper saying why we want to move.
Why we want to move?
Lame.
What do they care?
I explained to bank lady that my handsome and dapper Lumberjack, who is, in fact, an electrician, was off somewhere electrifying things and I could not get his signature right away.
She told me to forge it for him.
Great.
I am stooping to subterfuge.
So, I print it out, sign my name, commit a crime and sign my husband’s name, scan it and send it back.
Hold the phone! Did Lumberjill, the girl who can never scan pictures say she just scanned something? Yes, I did, folks. We just bought a printer/scanner device last week! Holla!
Bank Lady tells me she is hoping for a 2:00 closing now.
Around 12 I get a call from someone else from the bank.
Lady: I need to speak to Taylor.
Me: This is Taylor.
Lady: I am working on your loan and I am needing to know if you are planning on living in this house you are buying.
Me: Yes, we are.
Lady: I got your paperwork for “Why You are Moving” and there seems to be a discrepancy with the signatures we got today and the signatures we got in the past.
Mayday! Mayday! I’ve been flagged by the fraud department!
Me: Oh . . . weird.
Lady: I need you to tell me why you are moving.
*sigh*
What
Does
It
Matter
?
So, long story short, phone calls are going back forth, apologies to us are being spewed out, people are stressed, I am worried, my husband is trying to work, Daisy Mae is graduating from kindergarten soon, I get “worry-diahrrea” (that bit of TMI was dedicated to Erin), it’s raining, my hair looks frizzy, Handsome Dude pees his bed during nap time for the very first time since potty training, my naughty boys snuck into my purse and stole gum, I have my current house booked for 3 vacations, and I have gained 3 pounds due to all this stress.
Ok.
Maybe 4 pounds . . . ish.
So, our realtor tells us to go to the graduation and he will give us a 1 hour notice for when we close.
Remember.
If we don’t close today, the world as we know it will cease to exist.
The Lumberjack comes home with flowers for me.
Flowers?
For me?
This is an oddity, folks. A delightful oddity.
He saw some in a field, thought of me, and picked them.
When Daisy Mae saw them, she assumed they were hers, due to the graduation and all, so he couldn’t help but give them to her.
Hey, Daisy Mae!
Are you enjoying my flowers?
So.
We make it to the graduation, still not hearing when are closing time is.
So, since it is 3:00 and we still haven’t gotten the call, I am assuming we won’t close by the 9th, and that the universe will, in fact, collapse.
I noticed I had a voicemail around 4:00 during the graduation. I checked it. It was bank lady.
Bank Lady: Hey, Taylor! I guess you are on your way to closing. Tami (title company lady) said you would be there in about 10 minutes.
I hang up and inform the Lumberjack that they made the closing appointment without us.
So, we rush out of the school and get the official down payment amount and rush to the bank.
And when I say rush, I mean rush.
The Lumberjack may or may not have gone quite a bit over the speed limit.
And I may or may not have gotten snippy with him over it.
We got there.
We signed.
I asked our realtor if we would make all the deadlines since we were closing so late and it would not record until tomorrow.
Realtor: Oh, yeah. We’re fine. I told everyone they expired the 9th to get everyone moving, but they really expire the 10th.
*sigh*
I had “worry diarrhea” for nothing.
So, that was our big day!
Worry, phone calls, scanning, committing fraud, making lunch, disciplining boys, cleaning up urine, making calls, worrying, visiting the bathroom often, getting Daisy Mae all purty, worrying, phone calls, and speeding.
But, it’s over.
We bought it.
Fun Fact: In that picture we are at our current house, not Ruralville.
Ever Funner Fact: I have not seen the inside of Ruralville since February.
Hope I still like it.
Toodles!
